Lost and Found: Sara Martin Series

by Danelle Helget

  After another half hour, I had learned more about the three of them and then excused myself to go apartment hunting. I wished them luck and told them if they ever needed anything or a babysitter, they had my number.

  It was a short drive to my first apartment appointment. I took a look at the first room and the grounds. It was okay but not really for me. The second one was awful. It looked clean, but the smell said otherwise. I asked if they would repaint and replace the carpet, and they said no, so I said no, too. The third apartment was the closest to my work, and it had everything and more to offer. The pool and hot tub area outside were absolutely grand. There was a nice park two blocks away, all the conveniences I needed close by. The apartment had a washer and dryer in the unit, the floor plan was very open, and it was huge! There was a fireplace in the living room and in the bedroom, and a nice patio that over looked a prairie field in the back. The appliances were all one year old and the building was only five years old. It had a heated, tuck-under garage with reserved spots, and security twenty-four-seven. The place was well maintained and had working elevators. Easy moving, easy in and out to the main road. I loved it! It was the most expensive of the three, but I could afford it. I filled out the application and took the manager, Jamie’s, number. She seemed really nice, maybe a couple years older than I was. She said she'd lived there since the day they opened and had no complaints.

  I got in my Jeep and motored to the last appointment. I was thinking it was probably a waste of time and it was. I thanked the lady and left shortly after arriving. I called Jamie and told her I loved it and asked when it was available. She said they just need to do the cleaning and shampoo the carpets, so a couple days if the application was approved. She told me they needed a deposit and first month’s rent to sign the papers. I asked her to rush it if she could and call me as soon as she knew anything. She didn’t think the application would be a problem, and I could be in as early as Monday if everything went well and the carpet dried. Great! I thanked her and had a big smile on my face when I disconnected.

  I called Mom and Dad and made sure we were still on for a get together.I hadn't seen Dad yet since all this happened, and I needed one of his great Dad hugs. I traveled over there and spend an hour talking with them over coffee and cookies. Dad was really angry and told me he was proud of how I was handling it. I thanked him. I still looked for their approval, even at my age. After I hugged them goodbye, I promised to touch base with them everyday.

  I tried Mark’s phones and again got his voice mails. I didn’t bother leaving a message. I picked up a pizza and two liters of pop from the grocery store and went over. When I got there, I knocked. Nothing. I knocked louder, and told him to let me in. He finally opened the door. What a site! He looked like hell, smelled like he hadn’t showered in two days and his face was in need of a razor. I pushed past him and told him to turn the oven on.

  “I’m not in the mood for company,” he slurred.

  Drunk. I set everything down and walked over to him and gave him a huge hug.

  “Look, I know how you feel. You’re hurting. You’re in pain. You hate everyone and the world. You feel like someone stole your life and you have no control over it. I get it. I know this is hard, Mark. It’s not easy for me either but you have to keep going. Your life will get better. Everyday you’ll have a little less pain then the day before, and one day you’ll be you again. But, Mark, really, getting drunk to mask the pain is not going to help. You need to understand that you didn’t cause this. You are a nice, handsome, successful man, and there are tons of women out there who would love to be with you, and they won’t cheat on you either! Mark, you can’t let Lily and Jake steal even one more day from you,” I said. Then I grabbed his arm and started leading him toward the bathroom, “Now, you’re going to get in the shower, and wash up . . . twice, and I’m going to get a pizza ready and we're going to get this place cleaned up,” I demanded. I shoved him into the bathroom and shut the door.

  I went back into the kitchen and grabbed a garbage bag and picked up all the trash and empties in the living room. It appeared as if he’d been living on beer, whiskey, and chips. The couch was rumpled and looked like he hadn’t gotten off of it in two days. I heard the shower turn on. Thank goodness! I got all the trash in the bag and then dug the vacuum out of the closet and gave it a quick spin across the floors and the couch. I ran some hot, soapy water in the kitchen sink and washed off the coffee table, kitchen table, and the counters. The oven beeped so I threw the pizza in and brewed a pot of coffee. I heard the bathroom door open and then another door close. He was clean and getting dressed. It was a start. I went to the deck door and slid it open. Fresh air was nice, and the weather had been slowly cooling into fall mode. I was sweeping the kitchen when Mark came into the room. He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist and gave me a big hug.

  “Thank you. The place looks nice.”

  After I poured him a cup of coffee, we sat at the table and chatted about what he’d been feeling and what he thought he’d do now.

  “Have you heard from Lily?” I asked.

  “No, and I haven't bothered to call her either. Jake’s called me and left voice mails, but I didn’t want to talk to him, and I don’t think of him as a friend anymore,” Mark said.

  I nodded. I didn’t see anyone sweeping this under the rug.

  The pizza was done, but again I couldn't really eat. Mark ate three pieces. I stayed for another hour, and then told him I’d be back to check on him and that I expected him to be healing and not just drinking.

  When I got home, I was feeling better, until I walked into my apartment, and Jake was still there with a few buddies. They were hauling out the bedroom furniture.

  “Hey,” he said. “Sorry, it took me a while to get the guys together and line up some trucks. We'll be out in a few minutes.”

  “That’s fine,” I said. “Take everything you want. I don’t want to keep any of it. Do you want the wedding pictures?” I asked.

  “What?” he said, shaking his head. “Yes, I want some. Don’t you want to keep some?” he asked, and I could tell it hurt him.

  “I just walked to the closet and got the box of pictures out and sat it on the table. Take what you want and take the table, too,” I said. I couldn't help it, the anger I felt every time I saw him was overwhelming. Rage filled me when I looked at him. I had never wanted to hit someone so badly in all my life. At the same time though, I looked at him, and it felt like he'd been gone on a long trip. I just ached to hug him, to feel his arms around me. I just wanted him to hold me. I wanted to put my head on his chest and hear his heart beat while I told him about the bad week I’d had. And have him kiss me and make it all better. But then I remembered that he caused this, that he was the enemy, and I was back to anger again. It was exhausting. I was so tired, so sad, and so consumed with every single emotion that one could possibly feel that very bone in my body hurt. I seriously ached through to my bones.

  Jake's friends said they were sorry and gave me the sad eyes. I thanked them and kept moving boxes to the door. About two hours later, the boys said goodbye and walked out.

  Jake sadly stepped to the door. “Call me anytime . . . I'm staying with Scott, the address and number’s on the pad in the kitchen. I'm so sorry, Sara,” he said and slowly closed the door.

  I locked the door behind him and looked around the now nearly, empty room. No couch, no coffee table, no overstuffed chair, no kitchen table, no bedroom furniture. The apartment was pretty much gutted. I knew I had the money to get new stuff, but it made me cry to see what was once our home, now just a sad, empty apartment.

  I sat in the middle of the living room and had another good cry. Then I got up, grabbed a glass of wine and padded into the bathroom for a bubble bath and did a bunch more crying in there. After I'd put my jammies on, I called my mom and then my friend Kat. Kat, short for Katherine, was already half way to my house when I hung up with her.

  11

  I ran a va
cuum through quickly, then blew up the air mattress and put it in the middle of the living room. It was the only thing I had left to sit on. Kat arrived about ten, with a bag of assorted chocolates, two bottles of wine, and the movie Sweet Home Alabama. We sat and talked for hours. We cried and laughed, and she vowed to never talk to Lily again, which made me feel mean and victorious at the same time. Kat told me she was mad I’d waited so long to call her, but I explained that I needed time and had actually been really busy that last few days. Then I gave her the whole update.

  “Saturday night I’m taking you out for dinner, my treat,” Kat said. “And after dinner we’re going to do something fun, so to plan on the whole night.”

  I agreed, but I made her promise no night clubs. I wasn’t ready for that scene yet. Kat was single, and I never had been, so we'd be like oil and water at a night club. She rolled her eyes. I asked her if she could stay, and she said that she’d packed her bag just in case it was a long night. We drank both bottles of wine and ate most of the chocolate. After watching the movie together, we both fell asleep on the air mattress.

  At five I woke with a stiff neck and headache. I sauntered to the bathroom and downed a bunch of water with a couple Tylenol then laid back down. I woke up again at nine-thirty to my phone ringing.

  “Hello,” I answered. “Oh great. Thank-you so much! Monday at three is perfect. See you then.”

  “Who was that?” asked Kat, through a yawn.

  “That was Jamie, the landlord of the apartment I toured yesterday. She said that the application was approved and cleaning was scheduled, so I can move in at three on Monday,” I said very excitedly. Then it hit me . . . this would be my last weekend in my old home.

  It must have been written all over my face because Kat got up and gave me a hug and said, “Look at it like a new beginning, not an end. None of the past was your fault. You can’t change it now, so be in charge of the new you, the new life, and the fresh start. Focus on that and let Lily and Jake do the suffering. It’ll be exciting! Come on, let’s get breakfast, and then we’ll come back here and start packing.”

  We went to breakfast in separate cars because Kat’s dad said that I could borrow his enclosed trailer, so she would go over and pick it up after breakfast. I’d go get more box tape.

  We were just finishing up breakfast when my phone rang. I seriously need to change that ring tone. It was Joey. Turned out they could leave the hospital that day, but his car was still flat in the mall lot. He was wondering if I could give them a ride. I told him I’d be there in an hour.

  Kat and I checked out. She drove to her dad’s. I headed to Target to get box tape, toilet paper, and more Tylenol. I gave Kat an extra key in case she beat me back.

  On the way to the Target, I called a friend, Tim, at the repair shop where I always brought my Jeep. I asked him for a favor. I told him about the car and the flat and asked him to put four new tires on the car and bill my card on file. He said he could get a guy out there right away. They could pick up the car, change out the tires and put it back in about an hour. Sweet. It’d be a nice surprise for them. I thanked Tim and disconnected.

  I got to the hospital and met Joey, Kristin and sweet little Marissa in their room. We had to wait for the doctor to sign release papers so it took about an hour. I pulled the Jeep up to the the ER doors. They had to put the car seat in and have it inspected by the nurse before we could leave. I was a little taken back by that. It seemed in the rush, they’d forgotten their car seat, so they were borrowing one from the hospital. When the nurse saw that it was in correctly, we were free to leave.

  On the way to the mall. I told Joey and Kristin about the surprise I got for them, and they were ecstatic.

  “I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for us,” Kristin said. “The move was expensive and unexpected at this time and then the tire started losing air every day. We knew we needed four new tires but couldn't afford it this month. We don't have great jobs, so it's been tight.”

  “Yeah we both graduated from college but haven't found jobs yet that make us the big bucks. I’ve settled on an accounting job for an income tax company but my education qualifies me for so much more than I'm doing. And it doesn't pay much, so I have been picking up hours at the Subway to save for Kristin's maternity leave.”

  “And I am a dental hygienist, but I haven't been able to find a practice that’s hiring. I’m doing reception work at a local dental office, but it's entry level. I keep looking, but nothing yet. I hope to open my own practice someday,” Kristen said.

  “Well I’m glad to help out. In return you can allow me to visit and babysit this adorable princess as often as possible,” I said.

  They thanked me again, and I felt amazing. I dropped Joey of at the mall to get his car, and he was so thankful he was tearing up. He followed us back the their apartment building, and I told Kristin about my new place, just a few blocks away. She was so jealous because she knew the place and wished they could afford it. I smiled and told her to stop over anytime.

  I carried the baby, and Joey helped Kristin get in and settled on the couch. I told them again that anytime they need anything to just call. I kissed the baby on the forehead and handed her to her mommy and then gave them both a hug.

  “Dude,” Joey said, “You’ve been so nice to us. Thank you again so much.” I smiled and left. He was funny. Mature and responsible but still said dude like a frat boy.

  I sped home. When I got there, Kat had the trailer parked close to the door. I asked her if I could have it until Tuesday, and she said yes. I called my landlord and told him I’d be leaving and worked out the details of how much the early out would cost. Kat tossed me a cold beer.

  “Well, sista, let's get to move’n on and move’n up!” Kat said as she raised her beer.

  “Cheers to that,” I said, not quite sure if I was excited or sad. I hated the gut twisting, emotional, bull crap. We clinked bottles and reached for boxes. We packed everything we could. If I could move in on Monday then I wanted to be ready. At six we called it a day. I promised her dinner and more tonight, so we needed to get ready for the evening. Kat said she’d be back at seven-thirty to pick me up and left.

  I called Hom Furniture. They said my furniture would be in Monday morning. I scheduled delivery for Monday at 6:00 p.m. That gave me time to get to the new place and figure out where I wanted it. I made a mental note to go shopping for a couch and kitchen table on Sunday.

  Seven-thirty came fast, but I was ready. I dressed in black dress pants and a cute top that showed my assets and went great with the earrings I'd bought at the little shoppe in Nisswa. I slipped on some sweet heels and off we went. Kat took me to a really nice Italian restaurant I loved and then to a martini bar. It was nice. We sat on a little couch in the back and chatted. We had a couple groups of men come and go throughout the evening and buy us drinks and chat for a bit. They were all nice, and Kat did exchange numbers with one of them. I kept a safe distance. I was not in any condition to date right now. We finished out the evening with dessert and then headed home. I thanked Kat for the “hot date” and gave her a hug.

  I'd slept well considering it was in the living room on an air mattress again. Sunday came quickly. I couldn't believe I had to work tomorrow. I was a little bummed about that but also looked forward to keeping my mind busy.

  I called my mom and asked if she wanted to do church, lunch, and furniture shopping, and she did. I got ready and drove to her house to pick her up.

  By the end of the day I had accomplished a lot. I was back on good terms with the Lord. I had a new living room and dinette set that were both available to be delivered on Monday at six. Unfortunately, I found them all at different places, so I’d have a lot of people in and out Monday night.

  I checked my computer before bed to get some documents I needed for my appointments tomorrow. I also had confirmations from the three financial adviser appointments I’d made. I checked the rest of my inbox ,and there were a bunch from Ja
ke. I stared at the blank subject lines and tried to decide if I wanted to read them. Then made the choice to delete them all unread. Feeling a little weight removed from my shoulders, I headed to the bathroom and wash up for bed. I had a little talk with myself in the mirror, then grabbed some extra blankets for the night alone in the living room. One more night. Only a couple tears later, I fell asleep.

  “Sarrrrraaa!” I heard my name. It was her again, I was back in the woods right where I left off last time. “Sarrrraa! Help us, help her.” She was again in a long white dress, and she looked like an angel. Was she? I could see her up ahead in the fog. She was waving for me to follow her. “Saaaarrrrraaaa!”

  “Who are you?” I asked. I was frightened by my own voice. It was so loud compared to hers. She sounded miles away, but she looked close. I was almost caught up to her. She was by the hole in the mini mountain again. I thought it was a little cave. I didn't know if it was big enough for me to fit in though. She pointed to the opening.

  “Help her. Help us,” she said again. Then she vanished. She was gone just like that.

  “Who are you? Who do I need to help?” I asked, frantically looking around for her and knowing that I was not going in that little hole. I sat down on the rocks. I was tired and out of breath. I didn't know what to do. I flipped over on my hands and knees and stuck my head really close to the opening. It was pretty dark, but I could maybe see better if I moved to the right a little. I readjusted and looked in again. What was that awful smell? It stank so bad, there must be a dead animal in there or animal poop of some sort. I had never smelled anything like it. I pulled back from the cave and took a breath of fresh air, then went a little further in. I leaned a little more and shimmied in a little ways.

  “Hello?” I said, the shaking in my voice not helping. I didn't get an answer. I stuck my body in just a little more and my hand slipped. It was wet. I pull back and look at it. It was bright red. It was blood! I closed my eyes, curled into a ball and screamed. I was so scared. It was still dim and foggy, and I was alone. I kept my eyes closed and an image flashed in my eyes. It was there and gone in one second. It was Lily. She was lying on the ground, her head bleeding. There was a huge puddle of blood by her head. She was dead, Lily was dead! I gasped for air and sat straight up.