The Winter We Met

by Samantha Tonge

  ‘Betty wasn’t this ill when she first arrived,’ said Lynn apologetically but Nik waved his hand. ‘She showed me family photos once. Jim was very tall, like you. Perhaps that has triggered something.’

  ‘Has her husband been gone long?’ he asked.

  ‘Six years. He looked after her the best he could at home, but had a stroke and couldn’t manage. That’s when she came here. It worked well as they were locals and he visited as often as he could. The book shop on the corner of the high street, just before you turn left for Springhaye Forest – that used to be the video store he ran. Their children have moved away but they see her as regularly as they can. Lily travels abroad a lot, with work, and Roger has a son with special needs so it’s not straightforward – but both of them also video call her once a week. We help with that.’ Lynn smiled. ‘You know, right up until she got ill, Betty ran a blog, reviewing the latest films and videos. She first set it up just before her husband retired and over time modernised it, reviewing DVDs and television shows online. She and Jim were huge fans of the big and small screen.’ She patted Nik’s arm. ‘You visiting, the party… maybe it’s a good thing for her.’

  ‘This meeting has been such a tonic,’ said Fred. ‘Downright depressing it’s been, ploughing through the directory that you emailed us, Lynn, with my daughter. It’s impossible to tell from the list which homes might be most suitable.’

  Alf nodded. ‘A blasted pain, it is. My son’s been ringing them one by one to find out if there’s a waiting list or if the rooms have an ensuite bathroom and what the other facilities are.’ He shrugged at Lynn. ‘Not that it’s your fault. You’ve been a real brick. We’ll just have to muddle through.’

  ‘Gran and I have found the same,’ I said, glad that most of the residents had family to help. It felt like a mammoth task. I really hoped we found somewhere she liked and the council agreed to fund her preferred choice.

  ‘That photo of yours was a great idea, Nik,’ I said when we were alone, a few minutes later. ‘It will be a fantastic way for the residents to remember all their friends.’ I sighed. ‘It’s so sad. No one should have their home broken up like this at their age.’

  Nik put his arm around my shoulder. Alf and Oliver were standing apart, but both studying us. Alf’s head was tilted, his brow wrinkled. Oliver turned away as soon as I made eye contact.

  12

  I looked at the Peter Rabbit clock. Half past eleven. The shop phone rang and as he was by the till Seb picked it up.

  ‘Angela,’ he mouthed and I hurried over. Seb passed me the receiver and I moved to one side as he served a customer.

  ‘Hello,’ I said.

  ‘Jess. Glad I caught you. I’m hoping you wouldn’t mind working through your lunch today.’

  ‘Oh. Actually, I’ve arranged to meet a friend.’

  ‘Can you cancel?’

  ‘It’s a little difficult as my friend is coming all the way from London especially.’

  She sighed. ‘I see, fair enough. It’s just I passed the shop early this morning. I actually went on my speed-walk for once. The new window display…’

  ‘Do you like it?’ I asked eagerly. ‘Seb and I worked late last night to finish it.’

  She paused. ‘I’m sorry, Jess. It still needs a bit of work. It’s too much like one we made last year. The key to good business is continuing to innovate. Some customers will visit the shop year in, year out, throughout their kids’ childhoods. They won’t be pulled into the shop by something that seems over-familiar.’

  ‘Right…’

  ‘It’s okay to make mistakes, you’re still learning but… be a little bolder. You could… I don’t know… do a food one with those plastic Christmas grocery kits and perhaps order in some gingerbread men stickers for the front window, or…’

  My self-confidence dwindled as she continued brainstorming.

  ‘If I’m to expand the business I need you to not be afraid of taking initiative. That’s what makes a good manager. You need to put your own stamp on the place, Jess. Be brave.’

  I nodded down the phone. She must have sensed it.

  ‘Right. Well I’ll leave you to it and drop in, in a couple of days to see what you’ve come up with. Enjoy your lunch but, what with the festive season upon us, it might be useful if you didn’t make any more formal arrangements during working hours that can’t be changed at the last minute. You know I’m all for being flexible with staff’s hours, but we just need to be careful until we’re through the January sales.’

  I put down the receiver and rubbed my forehead, excited by the challenge but not wanting to disappoint again. I smiled as a leopard-print buggy was wheeled in. After receiving a nod of approval from the mother who wore a stylish pair of sunglasses, I offered the toddler a chocolate lollipop in the shape of a reindeer. One of the toy suppliers had given us a jarful as a freebie for stocking their light-up plastic reindeer. Following a prompt from mum the boy said ‘Fank koo’. I put the jar back on the glass counter, by the till, and then crouched down and took off the purple and green foil wrapper. Chubby fingers grabbed the white stick and pushed the chocolate between grinning lips. He told me his name was Ben. I always asked the children what they were called. It gave the shop a personal touch. Ben and I were clearly kindred spirits when it came to anything made with cocoa.

  I stood up and stared around the store, as sunrays poured in. We’d been blessed with another gorgeous winter’s day, with frost twinkling on the pavement early this morning.

  ‘Seb, could you refresh the pocket money counter this afternoon?’ I asked. ‘The last of those leftover Halloween stationery items aren’t going to sell now. It’s time to swap them to fit with the rest of the Christmas stock.’ Now that the euphoria of deciding that Willow Court’s party would go ahead had subsided I needed to be mindful of how I’d juggle organising that, along the extra hours that would be needed to keep Under the Tree ship-shape at this busy time.

  ‘I’ll get onto it straight after lunch. Fancy eating together? Angela must have called in really early this morning and dropped off doughnuts. She left a note saying she’d provide a weekly Friday sugar hit during the coming demanding weeks.’

  ‘Much as I’d love to see you stuff your face with the sugar you swore off on Monday…’

  ‘It’s been a stressful week,’ he said airily. Then his face became serious for a moment. ‘Although in comparison to your gran… how is Alice doing? Any luck with finding her a new pad?’

  ‘We’re just sifting through all the possibilities. The warden, Lynn, is asking around and reckons personal recommendations are best. The local mobile hairdresser goes into all the homes. Lynn is going to ask her opinion. She’ll have a bird’s eye view of the things that really matter like how caring staff are and the employee turnover in each place, plus how much one-to-one attention residents are given and whether they are truly treated like individuals. We’ll get there,’ I said, hoping by telling myself that it would come true.

  ‘If there’s anything I can do…’

  ‘Just keep me laughing in your own inimitable way.’ I smiled. ‘We’ll have to share a sugar hit another day.’

  ‘Well, it won’t stop me gorging. I’ll pump it off at the gym and am going super healthy next week, for sure. Tim and I have just bought a juicer and I’ve joined a new exercise class.’

  ‘What’s your latest obsession?’ Seb followed all the new fitness trends. Last year was cycling karaoke and laughter yoga. This year, so far, he’d taken twerk classes and—

  ‘Bondage zumba,’ he said, with a straight face. ‘The strips of theraband are really good for working pecs and glutes.’

  ‘Sounds like something out of a Jackie Collins story.’ Seb was a massive fan and had shed tears when she’d passed away, before embarking on a marathon re-read of every one of her thirty-two novels.

  ‘Go on… just one wee doughnut won’t harm…’

  ‘Sorry, I’ve got a date. I mean, a meeting with a friend,’ I added hastily. />
  Seb led me into the reading corner. Its busiest time was early morning, after the school run when parents with toddlers came in. Then it would fill up again after three, if older children wanted to relax with books and spend their pocket money in the shop – especially on their pay day, Friday.

  ‘No one says date as a slip of the tongue – especially if their usually bare work face is sporting mascara and lip gloss and you are wearing your industrial-strength musky perfume that you save for nights out.’

  ‘It’s just lunch,’ I protested.

  ‘Then clearly you want more.’

  ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘How long have you known him?’

  ‘Who?’

  Seb folded his arms.

  ‘Around two weeks,’ I said casually.

  ‘Ah. I should have known. You’re talking about the very lovely Nik. And what does Oliver think to him?’

  ‘If you must know he’s kind of suspicious.’

  Seb frowned. ‘Why?’

  ‘I’m not really sure. Modern times have made us cynical, I guess. But you’ve met him – Nik is such a refreshing kind of person and as far as I’m concerned, what you see is what you get.’

  ‘Your trusted flatmate’s doubts haven’t changed your mind? Interesting. Must be serious.’

  I snorted. ‘Nik said he had exciting news to share that couldn’t wait until tomorrow when we had the matinee screening of It’s a Wonderful Life at Willow Court – he’s being such a help with the party. I offered to meet him in London tonight, instead, but a neighbour he’s got to know, Rob, had already suggested a trip to the pub. This meeting is about Gran and the other residents – that’s all.’

  ‘Julia Roberts once got married after three weeks,’ he continued. ‘Okay. Here is the acid test of whether you fancy him or not.’

  ‘Seb, this is a waste of time. I’m not some teenager who develops romantic feelings overnight.’

  ‘There’s nothing juvenile about love at sight,’ he said firmly. ‘I knew the second I met Tim he was the man for me. Okay… let’s be logical about this and see how many details about him you’ve soaked up in just fourteen days. Answer these five questions…’ He rubbed a hand over his chin stubble. ‘Number one – the most important… is he married?’

  ‘No.’ I recalled Nik’s words about only having himself to look after himself.

  ‘Two – what’s his favourite colour?’

  ‘Um, red,’ I said and shuffled from foot to foot.

  ‘You already know that?’

  ‘Well, he always wears—’

  ‘Obviously I need to dig deeper. Okay, number three – what… what is his secret dream?’

  ‘Are you serious?’ I threw both hands in the air.

  He stared at my arms. ‘You’ve already discussed this with him?’

  ‘Of course not! Well, maybe... look, it just kind of came up… he runs this local charitable Christmas shoe box scheme for children and he’d love to expand it to at least help all children in Sydney.’

  Seb shook his head. ‘I don’t think I knew about Tim wanting to write a novel until we’d been dating for six months… okay… number four – and it’s really important that you answer this one without hesitation. What was the first thing you thought about this morning, when your alarm went off?’

  My mind flashed back. The sun hadn’t yet risen. All I could hear was Buddy’s snuffly breathing and then… ‘Sudden, cheerful birdsong,’ I said. ‘It reminded me of Nik shooting happiness into dark moments. I mean… not really… it’s just…’ I gave a nervous laugh and swallowed.

  ‘Jessie Jagger. I’ve never seen you like this. Not that I need to ask any more questions, but just to be sure… Number five – choose one sentence to describe how being near him makes you feel.’

  I stared at the ground as certain words came into my head.

  Gently, he lifted my chin. ‘It’s only me.’

  ‘But it sounds stupid. He only walked into my life a couple of weeks ago. I can’t have feelings for him. Not proper ones.’

  ‘Why not? Hormones don’t run by stopwatch. Love doesn’t schedule itself alongside a calendar. Cupid’s dart can hit you at any time. It doesn’t mean you’re immature or have lost your senses. It means you’ve been lucky enough to be swept up by a bit of magic and that’s what life is all about.’

  ‘Is that a line from a song?’ I mumbled.

  Seb smiled. ‘No. For once I’m speaking from the heart.’

  I took a deep breath and whispered, ‘When he’s close it’s as if I’ve been showered with pixie dust.’

  13

  ‘What did your colleague mean by I’m quite a fan of pixies myself?’ asked Nik as we sat down at a table by the window in The Silver Swan. He put down two cokes. ‘He gave me an intense look when he said it.’

  I laughed brightly. ‘Oh, that’s just Seb, he… he often stares through people when he’s thinking about work. We’d just been discussing some… some new merchandise based on fairytales.’ And fairytale nonsense it was. I knew Seb meant well, encouraging to me to spout spontaneous random thoughts from my head, but perfect Prince Charmings didn’t really exist, let alone ones that swept shop workers off their feet. ‘Anyway… don’t keep me hanging… what’s this news that couldn’t wait?’

  If looks could kill, Seb would have been dead on the spot. I was already regretting mentioning pixie dust. As soon as I’d said that he’d taken out his phone and Googled for a few minutes.

  ‘Right,’ he’d said. ‘Practicalities first and you need to act fast. There is a cut-off age of thirty for getting a working holiday visa for Australia. If you get one of those, you can work there for twelve months. I’m sure, after all these years of dedicated service Angela would keep your position open, but if things went to plan—’

  ‘Stop. This is madness.’

  ‘Why? There is nothing rational about true love.’

  But being rational was a good thing, I’d learnt that at a young age. When Mum went to prison I understood I had to live with Gran. It hurt but I’d tried looking after myself, the times Mum was out with a boyfriend, and it didn’t always turn out well. Like when I accidentally left the gas hob on. The kitchen smelt funny. Mum shouted a lot when she got back. I knew it made sense to move in with someone else even though I wanted to stay with her.

  Nik lived on the other side of the world. My gran, my life, both were here on a much smaller island. I had a great friend in Oliver, and Buddy. A lovely boss.

  Any suggestion of a romance was nonsense.

  And yet as Nik smiled and his eyes crinkled in such an appealing manner, it felt as if it were midsummer and not winter outside.

  ‘I emailed the editor of the Amblemarsh Gazette on Wednesday, attaching the photo I took and, as we discussed, I asked if he’d consider running a piece on us. He didn’t see it until yesterday afternoon and rang me immediately. What a great bloke. His dad is in a care home and he knows how distressing it was for everyone there when it was under threat of closure. He said community stories go down especially well at this time of year so he was completely on board. At the bottom of the piece he’d print your email address for people to contact you with offers of help – I didn’t think you’d mind…?’

  ‘Nik, this is fantastic.’

  ‘His dad’s favourite movie is also It’s a Wonderful Life and alongside the piece on us he’s offered to run a giveaway of the DVD and a Christmas cookie hamper. To enter, people have to email the newspaper with an idea of how we could make this party the best one ever and he’ll pass those onto you.’

  ‘That’s brilliant. The more brainstorming the better.’

  ‘But here’s the thing…’ He looked at this watch. ‘We’ve got one hour to come up with around two hundred words copy. He needs it today if the coverage is going in next Friday’s issue. As it’s late notice we’ve got to send him the basics so he can quickly tweak it.’

  I didn’t reply.

  H
e frowned. ‘Have I overstepped the mark? I didn’t mean to take over.’

  ‘No… no, not at all. You’re… you’re so brilliant. Why would you do any of this?’

  ‘I like you,’ he said, in his transparent, honest way. ‘I like Alice and her friends are great. A better question might be why wouldn’t I?’

  It meant so much to be sitting face to face with a man I could trust. A lump rose in my throat. How I’d struggled with dating during my twenties. I’d got close to guys and even went out with one – Connor – for a whole year. However my relationships always ended in the same way… I couldn’t fully commit. Not emotionally. When Connor arranged to spend the bank holiday weekend camping with mates, and didn’t tell me until the week before because he’d been busy at work and forgotten, I ended it. I couldn’t go back to that childhood feeling that I didn’t matter; that fear that I’d grow up like Mum, letting men treat me badly. However, getting close to considerate Seb had given me hope and then thoughtful Oliver had confirmed for me that some men were honourable. It sounded like such an old word but the concept was new to me. When he moved in I hadn’t expected to feel so valued.

  Nik pressed the top of his biro. ‘Let’s get cracking before our ploughman’s lunches arrive.’ He grinned. ‘It sounds like such a manly dish. Alf will approve of me eating it.’

  My phone vibrated for the second time in the back pocket of my jeans but I ignored it. This hour was too precious. Nik started writing as I dictated. He gave me his full attention when I talked about what we should include, nodding, tilting his head, asking me to explain further, expressing approval. I felt like I was the cleverest writer in the world and my confidence grew as he wrote down every sentence.

  Is that what true love felt like?

  I pushed away the thought.

  Nik went back and suggested edits, before writing the last couple of lines and passing them over for me to read. Our lunches arrived promptly and made me realise how hungry I was as I gazed at the plump plum tomatoes, the crusty white bread, perfectly round pickled onions and unapologetic slab of cheddar cheese. Lettuce, a dollop of pickle and a mound of crisps completed the feast. I started eating straightaway. We were halfway through my lunch hour. When I’d finished I grabbed the notebook and made some final adjustments.