The Winter We Met

by Samantha Tonge

  ‘Your Christmas tree is up in the middle of November?’ he said as he walked in.

  I grinned. ‘I don’t think it’s against the law.’

  ‘I’m not complaining. Mine goes up on the first.’

  I took his coat. Underneath he wore a tailored red shirt, the top two buttons of which were undone. I felt an urge to unbutton several more.

  ‘I’ll just lay this on my bed.’ When I came back he was on the sofa, saying hello to Buddy. I put the flowers in a vase and placed it on the glass coffee table.

  ‘Love your place,’ he said.

  ‘It’s humble but it’s home. I still think about life in Mum’s terrace many years ago, with all the space and having a garden – it took a bit of getting used to, moving to Gran’s tower block.’

  ‘I get it, living in my flat Monday to Friday – most weekends I head over to the family home in Terrey Hills, a leafy suburb about forty minutes north. There’s horse riding and bushwalking.’

  ‘Australia’s so vast it makes me think that your family’s place must be massive.’

  ‘Sure – there’s a tikki style outdoor canopy over decking and a small pool but if business doesn’t pick up…’ He shrugged. ‘I’d hate to think my parents might not be able to retire there.’

  ‘What’s your life like in Sydney, during the week? Do you go out much?’

  ‘Not recently, we’ve all been working overtime, but the bars’ terraces are great for heading to after hours for people-watching or, if it’s colder, the indoors jazz haunts. And there’s nothing like the beachside bars for relaxing. There’s something so calming about looking out onto the sea.’

  ‘It sounds very different to London. How was Camden?’ I put the vegetables on, my nerves settling a little.

  ‘I could have spent a whole week looking around the markets – at the street food alone. It came from all corners of the earth, there were dirty vegan hotdogs and halloumi fries topped with yoghurt and Turkish chilli, as well as katsu curry and bowls of rice with tofu and pickled vegetables…’

  ‘What did you go for?’

  He looked sheepish. ‘A bag of the most delicious, freshly made, warm doughnuts.’

  That proved my point. Nik was what he was and didn’t care what anyone else thought and certainly wasn’t out to impress me like some conman pretending to be sophisticated. I went over to the sofa with two cocktails. Buddy slid onto the floor as I sat down next to Nik.

  ‘Cheers!’ He took a sip. ‘Sherry? You didn’t need to go to so much trouble.’

  ‘It’s the least I could do,’ I said, feeling encompassed in a warm, fuzzy glow. ‘What about the toy shops you wanted to visit?’ I shuffled back, into the sofa. Nik did the same. He stretched out his long legs, sliding his feet under the coffee table, then rolled up his shirt sleeves – force of habit, I suspected, living in hotter climes. It made me want to run my hand over his bare, tanned skin.

  Concern etched his face as he put his drink on the table and turned to face me.

  ‘If it’s okay… can I first ask about Alice? Is she home yet?’

  ‘She’s…’ I tried to steady my voice. ‘I’m worried, Nik. Not about the fall, per se. I think the doctors are just being extra careful keeping her in. But Gran didn’t sound anything like her usual self on the phone.’

  He hung on each word as if every syllable mattered.

  ‘My concern might seem strange – given the circumstances, why should she – but Gran’s a trooper. She always bounces back. I’d say that was one of her strongest characteristics.’

  ‘Perhaps she just needs more time. Even in my thirties I find the things I’d brush off in my twenties hang around longer.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘If I feel I’ve failed over something at work. Or…’ He shrugged. ‘A romantic break-up. I just need longer to digest what’s happened. Maybe, now, Alice is the same.’

  Feeling a release of tension, I raised my glass. Nik picked his up and took a mouthful.

  ‘Anyway, my research day – I found a quirky shop that sells nothing but traditional toys, so I felt quite at home there with the wooden items, magic tricks and board games. But the fact that I felt so comfortable made me realise that for the big sales, to really keep Junior Magic current, I – the family – have got to leave our comfort zone. It’s time to attract the more prevalent, modern type of buyer, whilst still staying true to our principles of quality and child developmental value.’ He shrugged. ‘It was the same at Pollock’s toy museum. I didn’t want to leave. The old artefacts and toys I’d grown up with gave me a lovely feeling of nostalgia and familiarity.’

  ‘Did you see the Ancient Egyptian clay mouse from around 2000 BC?’

  ‘Sure! With its moving mouth and tail…’

  ‘Keeping the old and bringing in the new… it’s a fine balance and one we tread carefully at Under the Tree. Angela is always studying the latest studies on child development.’ In fact, she’d started to pass her magazines onto me. The articles were fascinating and more than once I’d stayed up late reading. ‘She sees it as her responsibility to offer parents toys that whilst fun, give their kids the best start in life. Apparently neither traditional nor electronic toys can compete with books in terms of teaching very young children language – that’s why we have a reading area as well.’

  ‘There are studies that prove the old-fashioned toys – blocks, balls, crayons, action figures, puzzles – are crucial as they foster interaction between the child and caregiver, in a way that electronics don’t,’ said Nik. ‘Also creativity is paramount. Take how themed Lego kits are now widely available – they often come in packs with instructions on how to build something specific. And those kits have their place but, creatively, it’s really important children also play with just random piles of the stuff and build something out of their imagination. That way they puzzle-solve on their own.’

  ‘Hmm, and electronics can be good for, say, developing maths, but for interpersonal skills, for creativity, you can’t beat the old ways.’

  ‘That’s why I’m thinking the way to modernise our manufacturing business might be to still produce traditional toys but give them a modern twist, perhaps focusing on wildlife and conservation – and to also spend more time developing touchscreen toys. I accept it’s really important that children get used to navigating technology. So we’ll see.’ He smiled. ‘If nothing else, this trip is certainly making me think. And I’m really looking forward to my trip to Birmingham tomorrow. I believe the biggest Christmas markets in the UK are there and have opened. I’m keen to look at the toy stalls.’

  ‘Oliver used to live there, yet he hasn’t got much of a Brummie accent.’

  ‘Have you known him long?’ asked Nik, staring intently at me.

  ‘Four years – around the time Gran moved into Willow Court. He was brilliant from the off, helping me move her stuff – calming her down. Him being here helped me adjust to no longer living with her.’

  ‘How did you meet?’

  ‘Long story. I was half-naked in the snow.’

  ‘I knew you Brits didn’t get much of a summer, but having to resort to sunbathing in winter?’

  ‘It was Seb’s fault – one of his latest fitness trends… outdoor swimming. He was taking part in a charity event at one of the capital’s lidos – a challenging winter one. Somehow I let him persuade me to join in. It was an arctic day, large snowflakes outside. A Sunday, late afternoon, I’d only just got back from work. Seb rang me excitedly and said it was the perfect opportunity for me to get used to exercising in the cold. He ordered me outside to do star jumps and run on the spot. You’ve seen this road – normally it’s quiet. So I headed outside in my dressing gown and when the road was clear, let it drop and jumped up and down in my swimming costume. I took my phone so that he could watch me. We couldn’t stop laughing.’ I gave a sheepish grin. ‘I was only twenty-five and clinging to the last moments of officially being a young person, and Seb is a difficult person to say no to.’<
br />
  Nik snorted and took another sip of the Tiojito.

  ‘Out of nowhere Oliver appeared. The snow had started halfway through his jog but he was still sensibly dressed in jogging trousers and a fleece and…’ Something about him had caught my attention and I’d moved out of the way without looking properly and slipped on the snow. He’d insisted on helping me inside and…

  ‘The rest is history?’ he said.

  I got up to check the vegetables. What was I doing, going on about Oliver? But as I took the lid off the steamer, I went back to that night. Oliver had been such a gent.

  ‘It looks as if that ankle’s twisted,’ he’d said. ‘Do you live nearby?’

  I’d jerked my head towards the building on my left.

  ‘Which floor do you live on?’

  ‘The second,’ I’d said and winced.

  ‘Can I help you upstairs? I mean only if you’d like.’ He’d held back, a flicker of amusement in his hazel eyes. I’d nodded and he’d picked up my dressing gown and helped me into it first, tightly tying it around my waist whilst I had held onto his arm…

  ‘Let’s eat,’ I said now and Nik came over to the breakfast table. I put down our plates. Like a Bisto kid he breathed in the gravy smells wafting up from the cottage pie. We looked across the breakfast bar at each other, the candle’s flame dancing seductively in between us. He ate with gusto and then polished off the rhubarb crumble and custard. It was ten o’clock by the time we’d finished our coffee and collapsed back onto the sofa, me glowing from his compliments.

  ‘I love your place,’ he said, hands behind his head. ‘Must be useful having a flatmate – someone to share the DIY and housework with?’

  ‘Talking of which one of my bedroom drawers is jammed. I can’t work out what’s wrong. You’re right. Oliver is brilliant like that. You’ve reminded me to ask him to take a look tomorrow.’

  Nik jumped to his feet and held out his hand. ‘Show me. Let’s see if I can fix it.’

  A competitive spirit? He pulled me up effortlessly – in fact, a little too hard and I banged into his chest. We looked at each other and laughed. Keeping hold of my hand, he led me into my bedroom, where he’d seen me put his coat. Momentarily, my breathing quickened and I fought an impulse to pull back, forcing myself to inhale and exhale more slowly. Letting down my defences scared me and I couldn’t control those apprehensive feelings that went back to my childhood, but I’d learnt over time to rationalise that inner voice. It’s okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. This is compassionate, gentle, trustworthy, guileless Nik.

  ‘Wait a minute,’ he said huskily, as I went to turn on the light. He pulled me over to the window. ‘I saw it on the way here. Isn’t it romantic?’

  I looked out of the window, my body brushing against his. We gazed up at the creamy white full moon, Venus dazzling to its right. Venus. The planet of love. Nik and me – tonight it was literally written in the stars. I turned to face him. He looked down at me, moonlight catching his eyes and the kind laughter lines.

  ‘Makes you feel so small, doesn’t it?’ he said softly. ‘And insignificant. Even when you’re flying through the sky and closer, it still gives you that perspective. And yet, back on Earth, much smaller things count for so much – like new friends.’

  I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his face and those soft lips.

  The door rattled.

  No. He wouldn’t. Please, don’t let that be Oliver back early. Buddy let out an excited bark.

  Crap.

  ‘Honey, I’m home…’ called a voice. ‘Where are you?’ A silhouette lurched into view.

  ‘Hi there, mate,’ said Nik.

  Oliver switched on the light and stared at us, standing there by the bed.

  ‘Won’t Nik miss the last train?’ he said in a tight voice.

  ‘Oliver,’ I forced a laugh. ‘For goodness’ sake. Why… why don’t you go and put the kettle on.’ I shot Nik an apologetic look.

  Nik looked at his watch. ‘Sorry, Jess, I’ve totally lost track of time.’ He turned to Oliver. ‘I’m off to Birmingham tomorrow. You used to live there?’

  ‘Yeah…’ he said in a disinterested way.

  Nik waited for him to expand but he didn’t so he kissed me on the cheek and went to leave.

  ‘I’ll text you,’ I whispered.

  He winked. ‘Thanks for the meal. You’re an amazing cook. I’ll see myself out.’

  19

  ‘Great timing,’ I said and pushed past Oliver.

  ‘Jess. I’m sorry but I’ve saved you from making a huge mistake.’ Oliver touched my arm. I shook him off and headed into the kitchen area.

  ‘Look…’ He began to clear the plates, leftover puddles of gravy on them.

  ‘Leave them,’ I snapped. I blew out the candle and switched on the overhead lighting.

  ‘I didn’t mean—’

  ‘Yes you did.’ I squirted too much washing up liquid into the bowl and eventually bubbles overflowed. ‘All I wanted was for you to stay out until midnight. Was that really too big a favour?’

  ‘But, Jess…’ He came over to me eagerly. ‘I’ve been in The Silver Swan researching his company.’

  ‘You’re unbelievable. This obsession of yours needs to stop.’

  ‘But I finally managed to find the website of Junior Magic. It’s such a small business in Sydney, that must be why it was so difficult to track down. It’s not a manufacturer. It’s a tiny toy shop.’

  ‘Why would he lie about that detail? You aren’t making any sense.’

  Like I’d mentioned to Oliver before, I had a good gut when it came to judging people due to growing up around the friends Mum chose. I could spot a liar a mile away by the time I left junior school. When one of her boyfriends spoke with his hands in his pockets, that was a dead giveaway. Or if they broke eye contact at the crucial moment of a conversation or shuffled their feet. These were sure signs that Mum, for some reason, would always miss.

  Nik was a good guy. I knew it in my bones.

  ‘In a way his lies about the detail are irrelevant,’ he said.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Because the whole story’s a load of garbage, he doesn’t even work there. I checked the Meet our Team page. And it’s no family business, that’s not what the website says at all.’

  Oliver scrolled down his phone and passed it over. I clicked onto the Contacts option of the website. I studied it and then handed the phone back, turning away to carry on washing up. ‘I suggest you look at the address again.’

  Silence for a few seconds

  ‘Sydney – North Dakota,’ he mumbled.

  I spun around and threw a hand up into the air, suds floated down to the ground. Buddy came over to investigate whereas I felt an urge to run away, as fast as I could, from the drama. ‘Your instincts are about as accurate as a compass in a magnetic storm. You’ve been incredibly rude to Nik and you’ve ruined what was one of the nicest evenings I’ve had in ages.’

  A wave of anger washed through me. It wasn’t asking too much, was it, at twenty-nine years old, to have a bit of fun? Oliver wasn’t my dad or my guardian angel. I’d always managed fine without both of those things and wasn’t about to start needing them now.

  ‘Come on, Jess… he’s like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can or Paul Newman and Robert Redford in The Sting.’

  ‘And you’re acting more like Mr Bean.’

  ‘Take those red roses. It’s hardly subtle, is it? He’s just too smooth, too much of a cliché.’

  ‘Bringing flowers to dinner is just good old-fashioned manners.’

  Oliver sat down at the breakfast bar and fiddled with a wine cork. ‘How was Nik’s day? Wasn’t he visiting that Pollock museum?’

  I leant my back against the sink. Hopefully Oliver would drop this nonsense now. ‘Yes. He had a good time.’

  ‘Nanny took me there years ago. I still remember its pride and joy, the Ancient Egyptian mouse. I loved looking at the tin toys and the jester
painted above the shop front, on the wall, is brilliant.’

  My brow relaxed. ‘Great place, isn’t it? You know, back in the 1850s it used to be—’

  ‘A printer’s. I know. Then they turned it into a toy shop a century later. Just amazing.’ He stared at me.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I’ve never been there, Jess. I got all that information off the internet. See how easy it is?’

  Heat flooded my face and a sense of nausea backed up my throat. ‘What is this? Some sort of power game to make me feel stupid?’

  ‘Jess, of course not – look, you know I trust your opinion more than anyone’s, on everything from if a new shirt suits me or whether I’ve overreacted with an impolite customer at work. You’re intelligent and perceptive and that’s why you were promoted at work. But romance… it makes all of us do stupid things. Remember that woman I dated and I ignored all the signs she was married and just looking for a bit of fun? I even made up some excuse, in my head, for her wearing a gold band on her third finger. You made me see that I was making a fool of myself.’

  ‘You’re being just as foolish again. Honestly, anyone would think you were jealous.’

  ‘What?’ He froze.

  ‘Just because there’s no romance in your life, doesn’t mean I have to behave like a nun. Surely you don’t begrudge me a bit of fun?’

  I felt an inexplicable urge to cry. Four years I’d known Oliver and our friendship had gone from strength to strength. I should have known it was all going to end one day.

  ‘Jess, the last thing I wanted to do was upset you. Look… I’ve said my piece. I promise to keep my concerns to myself in future. At least let me tidy up.’

  I didn’t reply.

  ‘I can be a bit of an arse sometimes,’ he continued.

  ‘I don’t want to talk anymore,’ I said quietly. ‘Please. Leave me alone.’

  20

  I pulled on my hat. ‘Sure you’ll be okay? I can cancel this afternoon off. All that new stock has arrived and…’

  Seb came out from behind the till. Several customers browsed the shop, picking up plushies and reading instructions on the back of board games. A mum with toddler twins – Lily and Meg – sat crossed legs on the red carpet, in the reading area, flicking through picture books about polar bears and flying sleighs. Andy Williams crooned about a happy holiday in the background.