by Olivia Harp
Damien opened his eyes, he hadn’t realize he’d fallen asleep. Had it been a few minutes, or hours?
He couldn’t tell. The white noise provided by the waterfall, and the post sex mellowness brought both of them to slumber.
“Zoe,” he whispered to her, “we have to go now.”
She produced a complaining noise, slowly placing her hand on his mouth.
“Let’s stay here forever,” she mumbled.
Damien smiled, I wish we could, he thought. Then called her again, “Zoooooe.” She sat up, rubbing her eyes, trying to focus.
She looked at the waterfall, and sighed.
“I’m just dying to go back into the water,” she said.
“You sure? It’s probably cold by now.”
Zoe looked at him, almost rolling her eyes.
“It’s a joke, dummy,” she laughed.
“Hey, I’m still drowsy,” he said, making a noise as he stood up, stretching his big arms and lean body, “besides, that sex was too great, I think my mind still hasn’t come back from exploding.”
He gave her his hand, she took it and stood up beside him.
“Isn’t it too dark out there? Is it dangerous?” she asked.
Damien was rolling the blanket and putting it back on its container box.
“There’s a full moon tonight, you shouldn’t have a problem finding your way.”
He walked to her and kissed her forehead, “I’m going out first and will guide you, just in case, okay?”
She smiled and nodded.
“You ready?” he asked.
She took a deep sigh and followed him out.
Damien knew that the best way to deal with a problem was to straight up face it. The waterfall wasn’t going away and even if it was cold, there was no avoiding it. He pulled himself up to the edge of the water and then jumped ahead. He might have still been a little groggy before, but now, emerging from the cold water, he was completely awake, swimming in place waiting for her. And he waited... and waited.
“Zoe! The waterfall’s not going anywhere, you have to jump!”
“I’m just gathering strength!”
“You have to stop thinking and jump! I promise the bed on my cabin will be much cozier than here.”
“Okay, okay I’m doing it... I’m doing—!” she screamed as she jumped ahead and sank into the water.
“Oh my, oh my, oh my! It’s cooooold!” she said, her eyes fully open, finding him in the dim moonlight, “let’s go!”
He laughed, “all right, captain, let’s move.”
They swam back to the picnic area, Zoe shaking as she pulled herself out of the water.
“You know how when you come out of the pool it’s always colder than when you were inside?” she said.
Damien looked at her inquisitively, “yes.”
“Well this is not the case, it’s actually warmer out here in the open than in the water.”
He laughed and hugged her, giving her some of his warmth. His bear side never let him truly exposed to the elements, not even in human form, but he could see her shaking and wanted to do what he could.
“This is much better,” Zoe said, under him.
“You can use this while your clothes dry,” he said, handing her the picnic blanket.
“Thank you,” she said, drying herself with it, then wearing it over her shoulders like a cape, trying to get warm.
She held Damien’s hand as they walked beneath the trail beneath the trees—the only place where moonlight was completely blocked— and in the distance, Damien’s truck waited.
***
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” Zoe said as he opened the truck’s door for her.
“The pleasure was all mine,” he said faking a British accent. He got in on his side and off they went, back home.
“I never thought I’d meet someone like you when I left Detroit,” she said.
“That’s a good thing, right?” he joked and she smiled
“Well, it depends.”
“Really? On what?”
“On what happens now,” she said grinning. But then fell silent.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just a joke,” she said, placing her hand on his leg, “I know this won’t last, don’t worry.”
Mate! Now! his bear roared inside.
“I’ll just enjoy whatever this is for as long it lasts, let’s pretend I can stay here forever.”
He didn’t immediately respond. Yes, he had met her just a day or two ago, but— but she’s right. This won’t last, nothing good ever does.
“Is that what you want?” he caught himself asking.
She looked at him and held his hand. “I don’t know what I want. I know I wanted to flee the city and go to Portland... it took me a long time to finally gather the strength to do it.”
“Why did you want to leave? Was it so bad?”
“Detroit is Detroit.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning it’s a good place, I guess, but it wasn’t for me. My future was crumbling there and I couldn’t stay.”
“What about your family?”
“What family?”
“You don’t have anyone?”
“I had an abusive father who turned to the bottle as soon as he was let go of his job, who hit my mother and blamed her for everything: from not picking up his beer cans, to his inability to find a job, to me being a dumb accountant who couldn’t lend him enough money.”
His gut tightened, he thought she was a pillar of strength and here she was, vulnerable. Completely exposing her soul to him, letting him see her, really see her.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, I’m sorry I asked, I didn’t know”
“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay, I made my peace with all that. I just had to leave.”
“Is your mom okay? Do you need help?”
“My mom is dead, Damien. One day my father left and didn’t come back. It felt good, but we always had that lingering fear of seeing him again, drunk at the door, screaming for something. But he didn’t. After a few months we realized we were free. My mom started to smile again, she started to focus on other things, you could see she was relieved.”
Damien smiled.
“Then one day I come back and she can’t walk, ‘what happened?!’ I asked her, and she tells me her legs are numb. Some weeks later we find out she has ALS.”
The road ahead was dark, in the distance, clouds gathered and lightning flashed. Zoe’s eyes watered as she remembered.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this,” she said, “It was a great evening and I’m ruining it with all this baggage.”
“You couldn’t ruin our date if you tried,” he said, his hand on hers, “I know it’s hard, don’t feel bad for remembering. You helped her, you were with her.”
“I don’t feel bad, I promise I don’t... it’s just... she never got a break you know?” her voice was breaking, but no tears streamed down her face, she was holding them in. “Sometimes I wish I could go back and kill that man and set her free, I know it’s wrong but I wish, I—,” her voice trailed, her right hand wiping her tears before they came down.
“She was the one who told me, she knew me, knew what was best for me. She told me to leave, find a better place, move on, ‘look forward’ she told me... and here I am, moving on to Portland.”
“Your mom would be proud, Zoe.”
“I know. I know she knew I loved her. I want to make her proud,” she said, and he held her hand tighter.
The rest of the drive back home was silent. Zoe fell asleep, the truck’s engine singing a faint lullaby. Her fingers intertwined with his, her head on his shoulder. Her scent filled him, that faint tangy orange, mixed with water and mud and leaves and everything. Nature had embraced her too, and the scent was lovely.
His bear called inside him, its fury somewhat dampened now that he had given himself to her. Mate he purred.
H
is animal felt stronger than ever, its call more focused, it never wanted a mate, just like he never did. The bear knows things you don’t, was a common shifter saying.
And he understood what his feral side told him.
She was different from every other woman he’d met. She was brave, she faced her fears, she’d endured the worst and came out stronger than before. But she was fragile at the same time. He had never met someone so interesting. He took pride in being able to read most people fairly quickly. Everybody had their quirks and their stories, but most people were straightforward, if not in speech, in manners and intent.
Mate her, his bear growled, his fury coming back for a second. No, he replied. I can’t just make her change her life for me, I’m not that selfish. She said so, she just wants to enjoy this while it lasts, I won’t stand on her way to happiness.
He felt his bear swell up inside, roaring. And could taste the bitterness of accepting what he just had. Fate! No running! his bear roared. But he had to let her go, to let go of his destiny if that would make her happy.
His stomach tightened.
He just called her his destiny.
This was going to be hard.
***
Next morning, Damien got out of the bed softly, letting her sleep. He took a shower and got dressed. He liked the morning routine, when everything was quiet and the sun hadn’t fully climbed up in the horizon.
He tiptoed around the room, not even opening the curtains. Yesterday was a mix of emotions, he got a glimpse of her vulnerability and her strength, and what she had to endure before she got this far.
She was sleeping naked, her beautiful breast half exposed through the sheets, and he felt his cock go hard. He imagined himself in another life, where they’d be together, he’d protect her, give her anything she wanted. They’d probably have sex before work. And after work. And during lunch hour. And maybe a quickie in the middle of the night. He laughed, that’d be something.
He composed himself, he couldn’t think of that, he had to make breakfast. He leaned in to kiss her and stopped, his eyes widening, his heart beat starting to accelerate. He felt a sudden void in his stomach as he focused his eyes on her arms.
He sneaked towards the curtains and opened them an inch or two, some light pouring in from outside, then checked her again and gasped.
The stings. The god damned shadow Rot was back. He remembered the day before, she was okay, he would’ve noticed if something like this happened, it was impossible to miss. Each sting was as black as death, threatening to take her.
Enzo would have to see her again. The Shadowlands stung her, meaning she’d have to leave. But first he’d have to check the area. Something was wrong. Maybe the rot was not completely gone. He couldn’t risk exposing her to it again. He had to make sure she was fine.
And then she’d have to leave the mountain as soon as possible.
***
Zoe opened her eyes, reached out to her side for Damien but he wasn’t there. She sat on the bed and looked around. The curtain was closed, just a ray of light passing through, the sun already high in the sky. She cleared her throat, “Damien?” she said out loud. No one answered.
Uhm... this is weird, she thought, Damien didn’t even say good bye, he just left.
She walked around the cabin, his clothes were laying on the room’s floor. The bathroom’s light was still on, and below, there was no evidence of breakfast.
He got out in a hurry. Her heart started beating faster. Yesterday he makes breakfast for me, today he goes out without a word? She started to worry. Did I seem to clingy? Too emotional?.
She got out to the backyard, everything was as usual. The morning air was coldish, but it didn’t matter. She clicked her tongue and went back in. I shouldn’t have told him about my mom, he must think I’m too much baggage. But then she stopped.
“No,” she said out loud. What I told him is who I am, I won’t hide, and I wasn’t asking for pity.
She went back to the bedroom, started gathering her belongings. I told him I could be here forever. She rolled her eyes, “Gosh!” I didn’t mean it like that, now he probably thinks I will, just barging into his life, not caring.
“I shouldn’t have said that. Damn, everything was going perfect and you just had to ruin it,” she said out loud. As usual, things turn to shit when they start to get better.
She’d felt a kind of happiness she hadn’t felt before. She felt free to love and be loved without judgment or rules. He was inspiring, he made her feel things she didn’t think existed. But you can’t depend on anyone, Zoe. You don’t need anyone to be happy, you don’t need anyone to complete you. You have to be happy on your own,” she thought as she zipped shut her backpack and went outside.
Chapter 11
Damien kept fighting the urge to shift into bear form. Enzo had to be nearby now. He had to walk a little longer, that’s all. His radio buzzed, Mav’s voice came through it, “No sight of him around here, boss, over.”
“Same here, no sight of Enzo, over,” said Franklin.
“Keep your eyes open. Two things: if you see any trouble remember to stick to protocol. The puncture was small but we need to see if another one has opened; as soon as you see Enzo make contact and bring him to base. Turn to bear form, he can’t be too far, over.”
“Nah, boss,” Mav replied, “he started his round about an hour, hour and a half, before you told us about the emergency, over.”
“Keep the search within a five mile radius, search for his scent, then go back to base. If we don’t find him in that area he’s gone, we’ll have to wait until he comes back.”
“That ain’t happening, over,” said Franklin.
“Take care guys, if you see any shadow animal, you know what to do,” Damien commanded, “over and out.”
He left his radio on the ground, took off his clothes and let his bear out. His heart was racing, his bear was angry. It wanted him to bite her, to turn her into one of them to save her. But how could he? That worked entirely too well for him, it was a way to keep her around, to make her stay in the mountains. Oh yes, she could leave anytime, but it would be hard. Leaving a mate is always hard, it takes a toll on you. She had to make that decision because she wanted to be with him, not because of this. Especially not for this.
He raced through the forest, his senses attuned to everything around him. He was feeling particularly strong today, every branch of every tree, every bush, every sound of the distant stream a part of him, he navigated the wilderness better than ever.
It had been an invigorating past few days: since he met her, she had turned him into a better person, a better leader. His bear was a mess inside but he knew that being near his mate made him stronger, his senses sharper. Everything but wiser, he thought. Was this the cost of having a mate? Strength instead of wisdom? He had been so distracted by her that he might have missed a puncture of the Shadowlands, might have missed the Rot, and now it was probably growing somewhere in the woods.
It had been a few hours, his body covered in sweat. He was about to turn back, just a few more miles, he thought, when he picked a scent. It was not Enzo. It was the Rot.
The pungent smell came from ahead, not very far. He growled and ran to it.
The scent was getting stronger, then he heard a noise and stopped. He was going to be very careful this time. He wasn’t going to let it fool him. Were shadow animals coming through? He would kill them all and bring their heads and put them on pikes if needed, he hated them.
Then he recognized the noise. It was not an actual noise but a man humming a tune. He marched forward slowly and recognized him: Enzo.
A few hundred feet ahead, he saw him kneeling down, looking at a tree. He still was in his human form, apparently talking to it. What the hell is going on here? Damien thought. He sneaked behind him, his bear had become the forest itself. He used the wind to cover his scent, moving like a shadow, every click and clack of the trees above masking his moves. He was a few dozen feet away w
hen Enzo stood up, a small glass jar on his hands filled with blackness.
He had an instrument drenched in black goo. Damien noticed the tree, its trunk half open, the Rot eating it from inside. Up above, half of its leaves already turned gray and sickly.
Enzo growled, dropped the jar and turned, his eyes searching.
“I know you’re there,” he said sternly, “come out, I want to see you before I kill you.”
His eyes were turning completely dark when Damien stepped forward.
Enzo jumped back, tripping, but composed himself, roaring hard and loud, his posture one of self-defense and fear. Then he looked at Damien, his posture changing, his anger gone.
“Damien?” he said in a half breath, “the hell are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack!”
Damien stood in bear form, Enzo’s scent did not particularly gave away any ill intent.
“Damien?” Enzo asked again. Damien waited, looking at him, then shifted back to his human form.
“You’re pretty out of your way, don’t you think?” Enzo asked, then turned serious, “Is everything all right?”
“That tree,” Damien said, “it’s diseased. What are you doing?”
“Oh, this?” Enzo turned to it, stuck it with his long metallic tool, “I saw it, and before closing the puncture, I wanted to take some samples home to analyze.”
“Analyze the Rot... are you insane?”
Enzo’s jaw tightened, “Insane? Why? I want to understand this. I want to know its weaknesses. Our lives would be much better if we knew instead of just counting on our senses to find them. Maybe we could make the punctures go away for good.”
Damien saw him. He was telling the truth. For a second, he had thought something very wrong was happening here. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it. Betrayal. He thought one of his crew members was turning his back on the pack. He was almost ashamed to have thought so. He nodded.
“We need you back. We have an emergency.”
“What happened?”
“Zoe. The Rot is spreading in her, you need to help her.”
Enzo’s eyes widened in fear.
“Go now,” Damien said, “take your stuff, I’ll deal with this.”
