by Olivia Harp
Enzo picked up his samples and ran back, trembling at Damien’s hateful look at the rotted tree.
***
Zoe had walked to the headquarters area, it was weirdly silent down there, and now she knew why. Everyone was out. Where is everybody? What’s going on?. She scratched her arm again. It had been itchy all night, she checked herself again: there was nothing there. The black spots were almost gone, they were almost unnoticeable. I’m much better, at least, she thought.
The wind was a bit colder than usual, and out in the distance she could hear the faint rumble of thunder. How long ‘til it rains? I don’t want to be trapped in here, especially in the muddy road. She kept walking down, she didn’t know how far she was from the camp she initially set, and her car was about a half hour hike from there.
I’m not leaving before saying good bye, though, I’m not an ass. So she waited. And waited. And waited some more.
But no one was coming.
What if they’re gone all day, it starts to rain and I can’t leave? I wouldn’t want to be a burden on Damien. The rumble of thunder reached her again, she started getting anxious.
A few yards north of the HQ, the monstrous pickup trucks the guys used for something or other were parked. She had an old Nissan, there was no way it could traverse the dirt road back to the highway if things got bad. Or I could stay, sort this out, play it cool. Not everything revolves around you Zoe, especially if not only Damien, but literally everyone else is gone.
She calmed down a little, she was being ridiculous. How typical of her to find some weird flaw in her prospects. Especially when they were perfect. But she knew they were never perfect.
Well, he isn’t a real prospect. A proper prospect, the sound of those last words sounded as dumb as she felt. I’ve only met the guy what, two days ago? And now he’s a prospect? Chill out, girl.
Damien was okay, more than just okay, okay? We connect on a deeper level. But she still was afraid. She’d never felt this kind of bond with anyone, and now she was trying to find a way to excuse herself out of it.
Besides, I’m trying to change my life!. But what better way to change everything she hated about herself than starting anew in this place? Stop it, Zoe. It’s not happening. That kind of fairytale romance is not real. You met a guy, you connected with him, you had sex. The best sex ever, by the way. The guy is busy, you cannot, simply cannot barge into his life. You’re a burden already, being sick and all.”
“Hey, Zoe,” someone called behind her. She turned around, Enzo was coming to her.
“Hey, Enzo, good morning,” she replied, “seems everyone’s gone, right?”
“Yes. How are you feeling?” the way he asked the question was a bit... cautious?
Zoe looked at her arms and they looked fine. Her right leg and foot didn’t hurt anymore.
“Great, actually, no more pain and my foot seems completely recovered. Now that I realize, I walked all the way down here without limping, I hadn’t even noticed.”
Enzo got to her, “may I see?” he said, raising his hands. She showed him.
He inspected them slowly, pressing it in different parts, asking “does this hurt?” but it never did.
“That’s weird”, he said, “it looks much better. I’d really like to check thoroughly tho’. Would you mind coming with me to the Lab? I’d like to make sure.”
“What’s wrong?” she said, getting nervous.
“Oh, nothing. By the looks of it you’re practically cured.”
“So?”
“Well...” he scratched his head, “Damien came to me on one of my rounds, he told me you were getting worse.”
“Worse? How?”
“Maybe he saw it wrong, I don’t know. That’s not very Damien-like, you know? To get so agitated by something like this,” he said plainly, “I mean, you do look good.”
“I’m getting worried, Enzo.”
“Oh it’s fine, we’re going to use meds and... you know.”
“Yes, I know,” she said, remembering him doing his weird, bear shifter, nature channeling thing.
***
“Everything is great, I bet it will be completely gone by tomorrow,” Enzo said, back on his Lab, after putting on new bandages.
“Do you know where Damien is?”
“Back in the woods, oh my!” he suddenly said, his eyes wide.
“What?” Zoe said, gasping.
“I forgot to make contact with everyone else!”
He pulled up his radio.
“Guys! Hey guys! Enzo speaking. I’ve patched Zoe again, she seems all right. She seems more than all right, she’s better than ever,” he said winking at her, she smiled.
“You need any help?” he continued, “I found a puncture rotting a full tree. Damien’s dealing with it, over.”
A few seconds passed, interrupted by the windy outside, a storm was coming.
“Sometimes they take a while to reply,” he said to Zoe.
“Guys? Everything okay, over?”
“Yes, all good around here.” Franklin said, “finishing the round. I’ll take the long way back, just to make sure there’s nothing here, over.”
“A full tree? We should’ve picked on that,” Maverick was suddenly saying. “Did it spread, over?”
“I don’t believe so,” replied Enzo, “Mav, have you seen anything weird, over?”
“That’s a negative. Hey, what about Raiden? We haven’t seen him in a while, over.”
“Raiden can take care of himself,” Franklin replied. “Over.”
“Ask for Damien, is he all right?” she told Enzo, he nodded.
“Damien, you there? Everything okay, over?”
No reply. Zoe’s gut wrenched.
“Boss, you there? Do you need help, over?” Maverick said.
No reply. Zoe’s heart felt like bursting out of her chest.
“Those creatures... you don’t think...”
“No. Impossible. He’s probably dealing with it. I didn’t feel or smell anything, and neither did he. He would have told me,” Enzo said.
“It’s just, can we do anything?”
Enzo shifted his eyes, thinking.
“You’ll have to wait, I’m going back for him,” then to his radio, “Guys, I’m going back to Damien, Zoe is staying here, where she’s safe, remember to keep your eyes open, over.”
He stood up and walked out of the lab, “Don’t look,” he said, “I’ll just leave my clothes here, I’ll be back soon.”
He went out and she heard the cracking, breaking sounds of Enzo turning into bear form. After she heard him running to the trees, she walked out and gathered his clothes, then went back, sat and waited in fear.
***
She had been waiting for Damien and Enzo for over an hour now, each moment seemed to last an eternity. Her pulse still raced, her hands cold and damp with sweat. She looked at her wounds again, they were now practically gone. They wouldn’t even last the night.
I shouldn’t worry, I have no reason to think anything is wrong.
She’d picked and folded Enzo’s clothing, grabbed his tools and set them on the metallic table in the Lab. She paced around for a while, then sat, trying to remember a song —any song— so she could distract herself.
Why did Damien say I was getting worse? She thought, I feel great, it doesn’t make sense at all.
“Zoe,” the radio suddenly spluttered, it was his voice, it was Damien. She fumbled to the table and reached for it, “Zoe, I’m fine, I had to deal with something out here, over,” he said.
Zoe’s heart was about to explode, she had used walkie talkies before, she figured this pro radio was the same thing, only more expensive. She pressed the communication button.
“Damien, thank heavens, I thought something had happened to you.”
There was silence. Then a reply.
“I’m sorry for that. Enzo filled me in with your status. The guys and I will meet after lunch, please guys, confirm you heard me, Zoe, remember to s
ay ‘over’ when you’re done talking, it’s easier to talk that way, over.”
Before she could say anything, radio buzzed again.
“Meeting after lunch, I copy, over,” said Mav.
“Heard you loud and clear, confirming meeting, over,” Franklin replied.
“Thanks guys; Zoe, Enzo and I should be there soon, over.”
“Uhm... ok, over.”
“Over and out,” he said, radio silence followed.
She felt so dumb now. She didn’t just feel dumb, she knew she’d made the guys go on a round because of her, and Enzo went back to get Damien because she was nervous. What an ass, what a damned high maintenance girl you’ve become, it’s embarrassing. You’re not like this, Zoe, get your head together!.
“Are you a highschooler?” she said to herself. She knew she was a burden now. She had good reason, she didn’t know better, but she should’ve listened to Enzo when he said everything was okay. He had just arrived from who-knows-where to help her, and there he went back again. The guys know how to take care of themselves, you can’t ask them to do that!.
She started to get nervous. There was no fear now, she felt as if she was a kid and had to wait for the principal to come. Not that that ever happened to her. She had always been a good kid, after all. Now she intruded in bear shifter business. This sort of thing isn’t for me, she thought, not really believing it, things will get worse, I’ll do dumber things, Damien will get tired of me.
Then she stopped. She promised she was going to be strong, she was in charge of her life now, she left Detroit to be in charge. “Fake it ‘til you make it” She’d read and it was true. She faked being strong and she became strong. Stronger than she ever thought she could be. Strong enough to leave her home. Strong enough to talk eye to eye to the one man she’d met that was actually good for her. “Nothing is worse than putting yourself down”, she remembered her momma saying. I’m in charge. She said, still nervous, thinking deep inside that although this had been a great adventure, maybe she should split before reality came crashing in.
Chapter 12
It doesn’t make any sense, Damien thought.
He was completely sure. The black spots were bigger, they even had thin black veins. Her arm was worse than when it started. Then what happened? Enzo had checked her, and he trusted his judgment. He hadn’t been wrong before, not regarding the Rot.
Enzo was beside him, in bear form. It was hard for him to shift back to human form once the bear had taken over. His spirit was too attuned to nature. He came to him in bear form, Damien, as his alpha, could understand his intentions, he could tell Zoe was right. He knew things back on the base were fine.
The black bear beside him growled. They were near base now, Damien picked up Zoe’s scent and walked faster. He wanted to check her for himself, to make sure she was okay.
At the edge of the base, Enzo waited. His bear anxious to be alone.
As soon as he stepped out of the woods into the clearing, Zoe came to him from the lab. She seemed apprehensive.
“Damien!” she called. She looked good, if maybe a little out of her element, but that was to be expected: he had worried her for nothing. She must have felt bad to be left alone —without him saying goodbye, or anyone to explain anything. He sighed and turned to Enzo but he had already walked away, his back to him, losing himself deep in the green.
He walked to her, both meeting right in the middle of the base, between the lab and the comms tower.
“Hey, girl, are you okay?” he said, stupidly.
She looked at him, showing her arm.
“Yes, look.”
He held her arm and inspected it, it looked better than ever. This is weird. Am I losing my mind?
“How did you do it?” he said.
“Do what?”
“In the morning... I went out because your arm seemed worse than yesterday... worse even than when you were stung the first time.”
The whole exchange seemed weirdly business-like. He wanted to hold her but had to be wary of all this. Had to make sure nothing was escaping him.
“Well, I’m fine,” she said, matter of factly, “much, much better, I think.”
He pursed his lips, looking at the wound but barely aware of it, his mind was wandering.
“You know,”,she continued, “if you see anything like that again, you could tell me, not leave me alone like that.”
He looked at her, without saying a word.
She continued, “I thought something was wrong, came out, no one was here—”
“A mistake.”
“I was worried, you know.”
“I know you were, I apologize, my instincts got ahold of me, I had to make sure you were fine and couldn’t waste time.”
“Waking me up and telling me is wasting your time?”
“That’s not what I said, Zoe.”
“What did you say, then?”
She’s a fighter, he remembered. He stayed silent.
“I see,” she said.
There was thunder overhead. The wind was picking up, he smelled damp soil, the storm was beginning to break.
“I know I’m weaker than you all,” she finally said.
“You’re not weak, you’re fragile. Shifters don’t have to worry about—”
“That doesn’t give you any right to keep me in the dark. Okay, I might be fragile, but you could have told me what was going on in two seconds.”
“My first impulse is to protect my people, I left because of that. This is the wilderness, it is unforgiving, every second I take to explain things is a second I lose in case something is wrong.”
“Well, maybe I’m not made for the wilderness,” she said, looking directly at his eyes, her voice trembling before finding strength again.
“Maybe I should go,” she finalized, “you took me here and I loved it, but it is clearly a risk for you and your crew."
That hit hard. Was she right?
He had felt stronger, faster, sharper than ever. He thought he was a better leader now, but it clearly wasn’t the case. From the first time he met her his inner bear screamed inside, calling her his mate. He even missed the Rot patch that she was caught in while walking back to her camp—the one she almost got killed in. That was enough proof that her security was at stake, that his whole crew was endangered just by her presence here.
“That settles it,” she said. He hadn’t spoken and now it was decided. Zoe walked down the trail, “please get me to my car, I have all my stuff ready.”
***
Damien drove in silence. Zoe felt him wanting to say something, but she didn’t want to force it.
She had taken the best decision for everyone. Things had gotten out of hand, and maybe she rushed into her conclusion, but he didn’t push back, he didn’t say a thing. He knew she was right, even if it sucked for them both.
That’s why I decided to move to Portland, she thought, good or bad decisions, I have to take responsibility. I have to do what I think is right. But was she right? Did she really believe it? She looked outside, trying to distract herself watching the road and the scenery. She didn’t want to think any more.
I don’t want to feel like this, like I’m being overly protected, like a child. But that was one thing that she had for her on the mountain: she felt safe, she felt cared for. She knew Damien would do anything not to see her harmed. He made her feel at home in bear shifter territory, and the crew had been good to her. She felt at home.
And he was right.
He had a right to be worried, he had gone away to help her. Was she being an ass? No. They were both being asses. None of them would concede each other’s point. Yes, this was the wild, yes it is unforgiving, yes, she couldn’t protect herself like a bear shifter, she wasn’t an apex predator, and she had been attacked by a crazy animal, stung and poisoned by the forest itself.
They passed the camp area she had set a few days ago, it was a matter of minutes before they reached her car, and from there what, twent
y minutes to reach the highway?
“You know I care about you, Zoe,” Damien said, looking ahead. It took him a lot of effort to finally say something.
“I know,” she replied.
He sighed. “I should have told you, I shouldn’t have left you like that, completely alone.”
“It’s not that—”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s the fact that I love this place, and heaven knows being with you completely changes me, it empowers me, and I thank you for that.” She paused, drizzle crashing on the windshield, the outside smelling exactly like she thought it would, times ten. The sounds of nature reaching her, the green scenery nurturing life... and death.
“But I don’t want to be a burden—”
“You’re not a—”
“You know I’ve been a burden the past few days. You having to save me, Enzo being there taking care of the wounds, all of the crew going out because of me.”
“You did us a favor. The Rot is seeping into the forest, we wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for you.”
“You know that’s a lie. Enzo found it on his way, he didn’t know about me.”
He went silent. She heard his bear growling silently.
Finally, he spoke, “Since I met you my senses are all messed up.”
She looked at him, but she didn’t know how to respond.
“I feel much stronger, but my bear is wilder, I failed to see the Rot and almost sent you to your death.”
She felt as if he was telling her something he wanted to keep for himself.
“I’m the alpha. The crew counts on me to be their leader, to not make mistakes like that. That’s a newbie mistake.”
“Why is that happening?” she asked.
“I don’t know, my bear is getting stronger.” He hesitated. “But it thinks you’re my mate, he wants me to mate you.”
Her eyes widened, “What?”
The road curved and he drove slower now, the trail was getting wet, more dangerous.
“My bear wants me to mate you,” he said again, looking at her.
Shifter mating. She knew about it, everybody knew about it, shifters mate for life. Once a couple decides to mate, the male bites the female and marks her. She is his, and he is hers.
