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The Swan

Page 2

by Mary Oliver


  in knowing your name,

  little Wilson’s Warbler

  yellow as a lemon, with a smooth, black cap.

  Just do what you do and don’t worry, dipping

  branch by branch down to the fountain

  to sip neatly, then flutter away.

  A name

  is not a leash.

  In Provincetown, and Ohio, and Alabama

  Death taps his black wand and something vanishes. Summer,

  winter; the thickest branch of an oak tree for which I have a

  special love; three just hatched geese. Many trees and thickets of

  catbrier as bulldozers widen the bicycle path. The violets down

  by the old creek, the flow itself now raveling forward through

  an underground tunnel.

  Lambs that, only recently, were gamboling in the field. An old

  mule, in Alabama, that could take no more of anything. And

  then, what follows? Then spring again, summer, and the season

  of harvest. More catbrier, almost instantly rising. (No violets,

  ever, or song of the old creek.) More lambs and new green grass

  in the field, for their happiness until. And some kind of yellow

  flower whose name I don’t know (but what does that matter?)

  rising around and out of the half-buried, half-vulture-eaten,

  harness-galled, open-mouthed (its teeth long and blackened),

  breathless, holy mule.

  April

  I wanted to speak at length about

  the happiness of my body and the

  delight of my mind for it was

  April, night, a

  full moon and—

  but something in myself or maybe

  from somewhere other said: not too

  many words, please, in the

  muddy shallows the

  frogs are singing.

  Torn

  I tore the web

  of a black and yellow spider

  in the brash of weeds

  and down she came

  on her surplus of legs

  each of which

  touched me and really

  the touch wasn’t much

  but then the way

  if a spider can

  she looked at me

  clearly somewhere between

  outraged and heartbroken

  made me say “I’m sorry

  to have wrecked your home

  your nest your larder”

  to which she said nothing

  only for an instant

  pouched on my wrist

  then swung herself off

  on the thinnest of strings

  back into the world.

  This pretty, this perilous world.

  Wind in the Pines

  Is it true that the wind

  streaming especially in fall

  through the pines

  is saying nothing, nothing at all,

  or is it just that I don’t yet know the language?

  The Living Together

  The spirit says:

  What gorgeous clouds.

  The body says: Good,

  the crops need rain.

  The spirit says:

  Look at the lambs frolicking.

  The body says:

  When’s the feast?

  The spirit says:

  What is the lark singing about?

  The body says:

  Maybe it’s angry.

  The spirit says:

  I think shadows are trying to say something.

  The body says:

  I know how to make light.

  The spirit says:

  My heart is pounding.

  The body says:

  Take off your clothes.

  The spirit says: Body,

  how can we live together?

  The body says: Bricks and mortar

  and a back door.

  We Cannot Know

  Now comes Schumann down the scale.

  What a river

  of pleasure!

  Where is his riven heart?

  His ruined mind?

  Lying in wait.

  Now comes Schumann up the scale

  and around the curly corners

  of just a few absolutely right notes

  while the Rhine turges along,

  while the Rhine sparkles in the dark,

  lying in wait.

  The Poet Dreams of the Mountain

  Sometimes I grow weary of the days, with all their fits and starts.

  I want to climb some old gray mountain, slowly, taking

  the rest of my lifetime to do it, resting often, sleeping

  under the pines or, above them, on the unclothed rocks.

  I want to see how many stars are still in the sky

  that we have smothered for years now, a century at least.

  I want to look back at everything, forgiving it all,

  and peaceful, knowing the last thing there is to know.

  All that urgency! Not what the earth is about!

  How silent the trees, their poetry being of themselves only.

  I want to take slow steps, and think appropriate thoughts.

  In ten thousand years, maybe, a piece of the mountain will fall.

  Mist in the Morning, Nothing Around Me

  but Sand and Roses

  Was I lost? No question.

  Did I know where I was? Not at all.

  Had I ever been happier in my life? Never.

  The Last Word About Fox (Maybe)

  Where is the fox now?

  Somewhere, doing his life’s work, which is

  living his life.

  How many more foxes has he made for the earth?

  Many, many.

  How many rabbits has he caught so far?

  Many, many, many.

  This doesn’t sound very important.

  What’s of importance? Scalping mountains

  or fishing for oil?

  I would argue about that.

  Ah, you have never heard of the meek and what is

  to become of them?

  What’s meek about eating rabbits?

  It’s better than what’s happening to the

  mountains and the ocean.

  You know, there’s only one thing to say. I think

  you’re a little crazy.

  I thank the Lord.

  How Heron Comes

  It is a negligence of the mind

  not to notice how at dusk

  heron comes to the pond and

  stands there in his death robes, perfect

  servant of the system, hungry, his eyes

  full of attention, his wings

  pure light.

  When

  When it’s over, it’s over, and we don’t know

  any of us, what happens then.

  So I try not to miss anything.

  I think, in my whole life, I have never missed

  the full moon

  or the slipper of its coming back.

  Or, a kiss.

  Well, yes, especially a kiss.

  Trees

  Heaven knows how many

  trees I climbed when my body

  was still in the climbing way, how

  many afternoons, especially

  windy ones, I sat

  perched on a limb that

  rose and fell with every invisible

  blow. Each tree was

  a green ship in the wind-waves, every

  branch a mast, every leafy height

  a happiness that came without

  even trying. I was that alive

  and limber. Now I walk under them—

  cool, beloved: the household

  of such tall, kind sisters.

  In Your Hands

  The dog, the donkey, surely they know

  they are alive.

  Who would argue otherwise?

  But now, after years of considera
tion,

  I am getting beyond that.

  What about the sunflowers? What about

  the tulips, and the pines?

  Listen, all you have to do is start and

  there’ll be no stopping.

  What about mountains? What about water

  slipping over the rocks?

  And, speaking of stones, what about

  the little ones you can

  hold in your hands, their heartbeats

  so secret, so hidden it may take years

  before, finally, you hear them?

  I Own a House

  I own a house, small but comfortable. In it is a bed, a desk,

  a kitchen, a closet, a telephone. And so forth—you know

  how it is: things collect.

  Outside the summer clouds are drifting by, all of them

  with vague and beautiful faces. And there are the pines

  that bush out spicy and ambitious, although they do not

  even know their names. And there is the mockingbird;

  over and over he rises from his thorn-tree and dances—he

  actually dances, in the air. And there are days I wish I

  owned nothing, like the grass.

  I Worried

  I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers

  flow in the right direction, will the earth turn

  as it was taught, and if not, how shall

  I correct it?

  Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,

  can I do better?

  Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows

  can do it and I am, well,

  hopeless.

  Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,

  am I going to get rheumatism,

  lockjaw, dementia?

  Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.

  And gave it up. And took my old body

  and went out into the morning,

  and sang.

  Lark Ascending

  galloped up into the morning air

  then floated

  a long way

  whispering, I imagine,

  to the same mystery

  I try to speak to

  down here.

  And look, he is carrying something—

  a little letter just light enough

  for him to hold

  in his yellow beak!

  Look now, he is placing it

  inside a cloud

  and singing at the same time

  joyfully, and yet

  as if his heart would break.

  Later, I take my weightier

  but not unhappy body

  into the house

  I busy myself

  (bury myself)

  in books. But

  all the while I am thinking

  of the gift

  of my seventy-some years

  and how I would also if I could

  carry a message of thanks

  to the doors of the clouds.

  I don’t know whether it would be

  of the heart or the mind. I know

  it’s the poem I have yet to make.

  Don’t Hesitate

  If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,

  don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty

  of lives and whole towns destroyed or about

  to be. We are not wise, and not very often

  kind. And much can never be redeemed.

  Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this

  is its way of fighting back, that sometimes

  something happens better than all the riches

  or power in the world. It could be anything,

  but very likely you notice it in the instant

  when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the

  case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid

  of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

  In the Darkness

  At night the stars

  throw down

  their postcards of light.

  Who are they

  that love me

  so much?

  Strangers

  in the darkness—

  imagine!

  they have seen me

  and they burn

  as I too

  have burned, but in

  the mortal way, to which

  I am totally loyal.

  Still, I am grateful

  and faithful

  to this other romance

  though we will not ever know

  each others’ names,

  we will not ever

  touch.

  Four Sonnets

  1.

  There appeared a darkly sparkling thing

  hardly

  bigger than a pin, that all afternoon

  seemed

  to want my company. It did me no hurt but

  wandered

  my shirt, my sleeve-cuff, my wrist.

  Finally it opened its sheets of chitin and

  flew away.

  Linnaeus probably had given it a name, which I

  didn’t know. All I could say was: Look

  what’s come from its home of dirt and dust

  and duff, its

  cinch of instinct. What does music, I wondered,

  mean to it?

  What the distant horizons? Still, no doubt have I

  that it has some purpose, as we all have

  some purpose which, though none of us

  knows what it is, we each go on claiming.

  Oh, distant relative, we will never speak to

  each other

  a single kind word. And yet, in this world, it is

  no small thing to sparkle.

  2.

  The kingfisher hurrahs from a branch

  above the river.

  Under its feet is a fish that will swim

  no more,

  that also has its story, for another time

  perhaps.

  Now it’s the bird’s, pounding the fish then

  hulking it down its open beak,

  glad in its winning and not at all trammeled

  by thought.

  I keep trying to put this poem together.

  Meanwhile

  the bird is again gazing into the glaze

  of this running food-bin. Thought does not

  create the soul, not entirely, but it

  plays its part.

  Meanwhile the bird is flashy body and the fish

  was flashy body and each

  fulfills what it is, remembers little

  and imagines less.

  And thus the day passes into darkness

  undamaged.

  The fish, slippery and delicious.

  The kingfisher, so quick, so blue.

  3.

  The authors of history are among us still.

  And believe me they believe what they believe

  as sincerely as the millions who are simply

  looking for a life, a purpose.

  Who are the good people? We are all good people

  except when we are not. Meanwhile the forests

  are felled, the oceans rise, storms

  give off the appearance of anger. Who

  despises us and for what reasons? Whom do we

  despise and for what reasons? Once there was a garden

  and we were sent forth from it, possibly forever.

  Possibly not, possibly there is no forever.

  “What’s on your mind?” we say to each other.

  As though it’s some kind of weight.

  4.

  This morning what I am thinking of is circles:

  the sun, the earth, the moon;

  the life of each of us that begins then returns

  to our home, the circular world,

  even as in our cleverness we have invented

  invention—the straight line

  nothing like a leaf, or
a lake or the moon

  but simply, perilously

  getting by on our wits from here to there.

  Einstein chalks slowly across the blackboard,

  erases, writes again. Mozart flings

  his fluttering notes onto the rigid staff.

  The drones fly straight to any target. This morning

  what I am thinking about is circles

  and the straight lines that rule us

  while earth abides in all sorts of splendors,

  knowing its limitations. The light

  of every morning curls forth,

  oh beautifully, then circles toward the dark.

  Obama works, prays, then grabs his scrim of sleep.

  Trying to Be Thoughtful in the First Brights

  of Dawn

  I am thinking, or trying to think, about all the

  imponderables for which we have

  no answers, yet endless interest all the

  range of our lives, and it’s

  good for the head no doubt to undertake such

  meditation; Mystery, after all,

  is God’s other name, and deserves our

  considerations surely. But, but—

  excuse me now, please; it’s morning, heavenly bright,

  and my irrepressible heart begs me to hurry on

  into the next exquisite moment.

  More Evidence

  1.

  The grosbeak sings with a completely cherishable

  roughness.

  The yellow and orange and scarlet trees—what do

  they denote but willingness, and the flamboyance

  of change?

  With what words can I convince you of the

  casualness with which the white swans fly?

  It doesn’t matter to me if the woodchuck and

  the turtle are not always, and thoughtfully,

 

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