"What?"
I sniggered but his reaction to my words annoyed me and I couldn't understand why, "You like her and you're jealous that I've spoken to her." I goaded him trying to get a reaction.
"That's rubbish and you fucking know it, I'm married."
I shrugged, "So!"
"That's enough CJ." I drew my brows and glanced at Duke, I hadn't realised he'd come out to observe our disagreement along with the majority of the clubhouse.
I returned my attention back to Stoney, "She got in contact with me." He looked offended by my comment but it was the truth. "So don't go getting in my fucking face especially about a bird that ain't even yours to protect."
"And what do you mean by that?" I could see the panic in his eyes like he was losing control of the situation.
"Exactly that, I'm taking responsibility for her and the baby."
"The baby?" A few of the guys asked at exactly the same time.
"Yes the baby, Locke's baby."
There was an air of shock in the room as everyone contemplated their own thoughts. I didn't want to tell them like this but they gave me no other option as I felt like I'd been backed into a corner. "Now if you don't mind, I'm meeting Keira this afternoon so I need to shoot." I grabbed my phone from the box left on the bar and placed it into my pocket. The room was still silent which made me snigger thinking that Locke's actions could still affect people long after his death. He'd like that and would be up there now smiling at the thought. I turned to walk from the clubhouse when inspiration hit me and turned back around to face the group, "I know where I've seen Jen before."
Recon stood and made his way over to stand with Duke and Diesel. "Go on I'm all ears."
"The night that you were shot at when Taylor was on your motorcycle."
"Yeah what about it?" Duke asked confused.
"The car used in that attack and when the salon was set alight belonged to her. Woods and I went and paid her a visit."
I saw the shock on the guys faces as they took in what I'd just said. "Should we be on guard or suspicious of her?"
I shrugged, "I don't know to be honest mate but I'm sure Recon can find out some information when he takes her out later."
He nodded his head, "Of course I can. Well that's a shitter I thought she liked me."
I shook my head, "And she well may do. Don't let this sway you, it could be all completely innocent."
"Yeah whatever!" I rolled my eyes as he stomped from the clubhouse clearly annoyed that she may be using him. I turned to look at Duke and Diesel who were as perplexed as I was.
"The only other time I've seen him act like that was when he was pining for your Amy." We all sniggered at the thought because he'd acted like such a cock during that time.
I was interrupted by the ringing of my phone and retrieved it from my pocket to answer it. I swiped the screen and brought the phone to my ear, "What's up?"
"I was just wondering if you were still coming?"
I glanced at my watch noticing that I was twenty minutes late. "Sorry sweetness I've just realised what the time is, I'll be along shortly."
"That's fine, see you soon," she said politely.
I hung up and returned my mobile to my pocket, "Keira?" Diesel asked.
I nodded, "Yeah, I'm meeting her this afternoon. In fact I'm running late." I strolled through the clubhouse in the direction of the door.
"CJ!" I turned around confused as to what he wanted. "Do you think this is a good idea?"
I drew my brows, "Regarding what?" I was a little confused as to what he was getting at.
"You and Keira spending time together."
"I still don't understand what you're implying. If you've got something to say then just fucking say it as I ain't got time for fucking riddles." I folded my arms across my chest waiting for his response.
"Keira is going to feel vulnerable with her hormones all over the place. Things could get awkward between you two that's all I'm saying."
"Well thank you Doctor Phil, you're wise words have been noted but I'm a big boy and I'm going to look after my best mates girlfriend and his unborn baby." I shook my head not believing the words that came from his mouth. How fucking dare he question it, surely anyone would do exactly the same if they were faced with these circumstances.
"It's not your responsibility, it's all of ours." He extended his arm and waved it around the room at the rest of the guys standing around watching the altercation that was slowly getting heated.
"I'm making it my responsibility."
"But why when you don't have to? What happens when you meet someone, fall in love and start a family of your own? Are you simply gonna drop Keira?"
I placed my hands on my hips and looked at him bemused, "Do I look like the sort of man that's going to fall in love and live happy ever after?"
Duke sniggered, "We all think that we won't be hit by cupids arrow mate but it happens when you least expect it."
"Well I ain't getting hitched and having babies that's for sure."
Diesel and Duke glanced at each other before returning their attention back to me, "Look I'm not getting on your case."
I raised my brows, "Well it don't feel like that to be honest Diesel."
"I'm just making sure you're thinking straight, that's all."
"I'm fine mate honestly, I just want to make sure she's okay. Keira's had a rough time and it's not going to get any easier now that she's having a baby."
"And you want to be part of her life only because of the baby."
"Exactly."
"Don't kid yourself CJ," It was now Duke's turn to chip in and give his two pennies worth.
"I will be there for that baby, that's the only connection now that I have with Locke."
Duke nodded his head slowly, I knew what he was getting at but that wasn't the case. Keira was a lovely lady, witty and very attractive but she wasn't mine and her heart belonged to another. That didn't mean that she had to feel alone though and if she would allow me to, I wanted to be in her life for not only the baby but to give her support also.
"I need to go guy's but after I've met with Keira I'm heading straight back to the Midlands."
"Okay, give me a call when you arrive." Duke had now dropped his line of questioning and I was relieved because I didn't want to answer any more questions.
"Will do."
"Stay safe!"
I drove my car to the park where I'd arranged to meet Keira. This was on neutral ground making things less stressful. I wanted her to feel comfortable in the environment we were going to spend time in and she couldn't be getting stressed especially in her condition.
"Good afternoon." Keira smiled as she turned around to greet me.
"Sorry I'm late babe," I stepped forward and placed a kiss on her cheek.
Her breath hitched at the contact and a slight blush covered her face as she clearly over thought the gesture. "Erm...I got this for you." Keira held up a polystyrene cup, "Although it's probably cold now."
"Yeah sorry about that but I'm sure it will be fine, thank you." I took the cup and removed the lid to take a sip, it was tepid but drinkable. "Let's go for a walk," I turned and headed towards the path that I knew ran around the main field, this would give us some privacy and time to talk should she wish to. I threw the lid into the bin as we passed it and settled in to our conversation. I enjoyed Keira's company, we just seemed to hit it off and her presence made me feel closer to Locke. Keira walked beside me but I noticed that her breathing was heavy. "Sorry babe, I'll slow the pace."
She sniggered, "No I'm the one that's sorry. My body is forever changing and it's difficult to keep up with what it's actually capable of these days." She placed her hand on her protruding tummy. Keira was slim with a tiny frame so although she was only twenty weeks pregnant she already looked fit to burst.
I took another sip of my tea and changed my stride into more of a stroll so she could keep up with me. It was a nice crisp afternoon but the sun was trying to come out from
behind the clouds and when it did, it shone brightly onto the changing coloured leaves.
"Ooooh," Keira stopped in her tracks and rubbed her tummy.
"What's up Keira? Are you feeling okay babe? Do you need to sit down?" her expression wasn't alarming but something was going on that I wasn't quite sure of.
"I can feel the baby, quick give me your hand." She flapped her arm around in front of me trying to grab hold of my cut to pull me closer. I gave her my hand and she placed it onto her belly in the spot where she'd been holding.
"Can you feel anything?" I drew my brows not knowing what to expect as she placed her hand over mine.
"No what am I looking for?"
"Look move it here and keep your hand still." Keira took my hand and placed it more central on her tummy. It wasn't long before I felt movement and what seemed to be an arm or a leg poking in her skin. I glanced at Keira to see her smile before I returned my attention to her tummy.
"This is just simply amazing," I kneeled in front of her with my hand still on her tummy, feeling the baby moving around. "Can I?" I held the hem of her jumper with my free hand asking if I could pull it up.
Keira looked a little uncomfortable but nodded, giving me permission. An array of emotions ran through my body, I couldn't help myself I wanted to feel the baby or to even see it moving around her tummy. The gift of life was truly amazing and I was so pleased that she was sharing this with me. I moved my hand and slowly lifted the fabric of her jumper up and over her tummy to reveal her large perfectly formed bump and placed my hand lightly either side. I watched as the baby moved around and every so often a limb would move her skin and make me laugh. "We'll make a boxer out of him yet," I smiled and glanced at Keira's bemused expression but shook it off quickly as I returned my attention to the wonder in front of me. "I don't know if you can hear me buddy but I promise to look after you and your mummy." I leaned forward and placed a small kiss beside Keira's belly button before pulling the material back over her tummy as I was worried that she may get cold. I stood feeling a glowing sensation inside and glanced at Keira to see her unshed tears.
"What's up babe?" I asked concerned. "Did I hurt you? I tried to be gentle, oh come here babe sorry." I wrapped my arms around Keira and held her close. I was trying to be nice, I know I got a little carried away but I couldn't help it I was awash of emotions and just needed to touch her to let her know that I was here to protect her and the baby. I rubbed the back of her head as I lay light kisses around her temple, "I'd never purposely hurt you Keira, I'm so sorry please tell me what I've done wrong though babe?"
Keira shook her head and I heard her whimper, her body shook as she stood in my embrace and I just allowed her to cry. I knew that she'd talk when she was ready. An elderly couple walked towards us and I saw their concern, I shuffled Keira to the side of the path to allow them enough room to pass. I smiled but the gesture wasn't returned as they looked between myself and Keira, I was about to explain but fuck them. I didn't give a shit of what people thought of me or the situation, I knew the truth and that's all that mattered.
"Come on babe talk to me," I released her slightly so I could see her face but she didn't want to look at me. I took Keira by the hand and led her towards a bench under an oak tree. I thought this may shelter us a little from the elements as it was chilly when the sun wasn't out.
She removed a tissue from her pocket and wiped her tears before blowing her nose in a cute gesture. It made me snigger, Keira drew her brows and stared at me, "What?" she asked returning the tissue to her pocket.
"That was a cute little blow, I sound like a fog horn when I blow mine." I sniggered and moved closer to wrap my arm around her and pulled her into my side. "What was all that about babe, I was trying to be nice not upset you."
"I know I was just being silly."
"Silly how? Explain sweet because I'm at a loss."
Keira shook her head lightly and sighed, "It was such a...lovely moment but it shouldn't be you doing it, Locke should be here with me."
I pulled her closer, "I know babe, I know!" We sat cuddling on the bench lost in our own thoughts, I'd had regular flashbacks from that night and there was nothing I could've done differently. I'd asked the important questions, I'd spoken to the doctors to ask that if Locke had been rescued sooner would he have survived but their responses were all the same. He'd inhaled too much smoke during the time in there and five minutes wouldn't have made any difference whatsoever. They'd probably just said that to try to make me feel better about the situation but it hadn't worked. I'd have to deal with the what if's for the rest of my life and now there'd be two of us asking questions. Keira looked so vulnerable in my arms, her tear stained cheeks glistened as the sun touched them and I leaned over to place a kiss on the top of her head.
"I'm sorry!"
"Sorry for what sweetness?"
"Getting all emotional." Keira sniggered and sat forward on the bench. "It's just been a little tough lately and I've had no one to talk to."
"Does Declan live with you still?" I knew that Declan and her were close and wondered if he was still around as much as that would offer her some support.
She smiled, "He is but he sees the best in everything. In Declan's world everything is rainbow coloured and unicorns exist." I sniggered at her comment which made her laugh, "Sorry I'm being cruel but you know what I mean. He hasn't got a bad bone in his body so when I want a rant and to have a cry he doesn't really get it."
"I do babe," I said softly.
Keira turned to face me, "I know and wrongly or rightly that's why I got in touch CJ. I was sort of hoping that we could help each other."
I nodded my head understanding what she was saying, I still needed support myself and I was hoping that this is what I needed.
"I don't pretend to know for a minute about your grieving process but I know that I've been a mess and I only knew him five minutes in comparison to you."
"It's not how long you know someone for babe, it's the connection you have with that person that matters."
She nodded, "You're right. I know that he would've been over the moon about this baby and that's what makes it all so sad. He may have found some kind of closure and given himself a reason to live life to its fullest rather than seeking the revenge that killed him." At that point Keira's tummy rumbled, we looked at each other and laughed.
"I take it baby is ready for feeding," I mocked in reference to the loud growl.
Keira rummaged around in her pocket and pulled out a KitKat, "Well I hope he likes chocolate." Keira broke the KitKat in two and offered me one of the fingers.
I shook my head, "No thanks you have it."
"I'm hungry all the time, I'm going to look like a whale by the time I've had this baby."
"You look great Keira, pregnancy obviously agrees with you."
She smiled and bit the other chocolate finger, "Baby likes chocolate that's the problem."
"Is it baby or just an excuse to eat more?"
Keira sniggered, "Both." She shoved the last of the chocolate into her mouth and munched away happily.
"You enjoying that?" Keira nodded. "Come here," Keira drew her her brows confused by my request. I reached out and held her cheek lightly as I wiped a smudge of chocolate she had by the side of her mouth. Keira looked up and our eyes met but this time she looked at me longingly, without thinking I allowed Keira to lean closer and place her lips on mine. Keira quickly opened her mouth and I mirrored her swiping my tongue against hers as we passionately kissed. Keira moved her hand to my cheek and deepened the kiss, it was this movement that quickly brought me into the here and now. I pulled away and quickly stood, annoyed with myself that I'd taken advantage of her. As I paced the ground in front of her, I found myself looking at everything but her as I tried to compose myself and figure out what I was going to say. Sorry it's all my fault. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. Can you forgive me for being a cock? Why have you all of a sudden started invading my thoughts? Is it wro
ng that you turn me on? But the statement that was loudest flipping around in my head was that it felt bloody fantastic. I rubbed my forehead and glanced in her direction hoping to gauge her mood by her expression but her head was in her hands, she obviously regretted it which made me feel like shit.
"Keira, speak to me please." I walked back over to her and knelt in front of her.
"I'm sorry!"
"You've got nothing to be sorry about babe." Why was she taking the full responsibility, it was me that didn't stop her when I knew what she was about to do.
"Yes I have, I can only apologise for my actions I shouldn't have done that."
"What's done is done, I probably shouldn't have retaliated either so we're both as bad as each other." I was trying to make light of the situation so things weren't so uncomfortable.
"I know what you're trying to do but I take full responsibility. I suppose I could blame my hormones but I'd be lying because I wanted to do that."
I swallowed hard understanding what she was implying, I didn't know how I felt about that and I was trying quickly to rack my brains of how to respond but nothing was coming to me.
Keira's phone startled us both as it rang loudly from her pocket, she quickly retrieved it and swiped the screen to answer.
"Declan...yeah I'm nearly done here babe...yeah I'll meet you back at the hotel...yeah everything's fine, see you soon." Keira ended the call and stood.
"I've gotta go CJ, thank you for meeting this afternoon." I was annoyed that she was rushing off before we had time to sort things out. I stood, reached out to grab her arm and yanked her back into my embrace. Her cheeks reddened and her breathing accelerated, "Now you've gotta stop being silly about this Keira, it was just a kiss babe you need to get over it." I stuck my hand under her chin and lifted her head so she looked directly at me. "You can't get stressed out babe especially over something that isn't an issue."
Keira smiled although I knew it was forced, "I'm fine I just feel a little stupid."
"Well I'll say it over and over again until I'm blue in the face, don't beat yourself up over this."
CJ (Aces MC Series Book 6) Page 7
