The Best Blind Date in Texas

by Victoria Chancellor

  “No, I…” She turned and looked at Ethan. “I suppose we should go ahead and tell them.”

  He came up and looped an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Go ahead, love.”

  “We’re going to have a baby.”

  Amy knew she stood there for a few seconds, her face blank and her voice mute. Then she forced a smile, genuinely pleased for the happy couple. “I’m so happy for you both,” she finally said, taking Robin’s hand. “Have you been to your ob-gyn?”

  “Yes, last week. Everything’s fine, so far.”

  “I’m sure it will be.”

  “Congratulations,” Gray said, taking Robin’s hand when Amy let go. “You’ll be great parents.”

  “I hope so. It’s a bit daunting.”

  “Ethan’s the best candidate for dad of the year I’ve ever seen,” Gray said, “and he’s not even a father yet.”

  “Was that a backhanded compliment?” the lawman asked.

  “Take it like you will,” Gray said with a laugh.

  “Hey, someday you’ll be in this situation. I can’t wait to make a few choice remarks about your qualifications.”

  A shadow passed over Gray’s features, so fleeting that Amy wondered if anyone else noticed. No, probably not. Robin and Ethan were again gazing at each other with such love in their hearts that it was almost painful to watch.

  And why should it be painful, Amy wondered? What an odd thought. She should be happy for them, excited about welcoming a new life into their family. But somehow, their happiness and Robin’s pregnancy had somehow turned into a referendum on her, the dedicated small town doctor who was going to marry a man who didn’t love her in return.

  Forcing another smile, she placed her wineglass on the rustic buffet. “Would you excuse me a minute?”

  “Down the hall to your right,” Robin said instinctively.

  Amy fled from the happy couple, from their wonderful news. She’d never realized until this very minute how much she needed to see Gray gaze at her with undisguised love in his eyes.

  She shut the door of the guest bath and leaned against the wood. Could she settle for less? With a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, she feared she knew the answer.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “What’s wrong?” Gray asked again as Amy pulled her car to a stop in his driveway. “Please don’t tell me ‘nothing’ again, because I know that’s not true. Ever since you went into the bathroom at Robin and Ethan’s house, you’ve been quiet and preoccupied.”

  She turned off the ignition, then turned to him in the darkness of the car’s interior. “Seeing Robin and Ethan tonight made me think about us.”

  “In what way?”

  “They seem so…happy.”

  “You aren’t happy?” She’d seemed tense and nervous this week, but he’d chalked most of that up to his injury. Of course she’d thought about her mother’s accident. And taking care of him every evening couldn’t be much fun…except for Thursday night. They’d both enjoyed themselves. Or he’d thought they had.

  “How can I answer?” She gripped the steering wheel as she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Ever since your accident, I’ve had to hold myself back. I can’t tell you how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking.”

  “We’ve never had any problem talking to each other. Why would we now?” he asked, stroking her shoulder. Her muscles were as tight as a bodybuilder on steroids. “Amy, what’s wrong?”

  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then looked at him. “I love you, Gray. I know that wasn’t part of our agreement, but it happened. It’s hurting me to keep from saying it to you. I want to be free to tell you what’s in my heart.”

  He didn’t want to discuss this now. Not in the car, not with her so upset. He felt trapped, as though a crushing weight pressed him all around him. He at least needed fresh air, but the night was too cold to open the windows, and besides, he needed to get out of the confines of the small car.

  “Come inside. I’ll make some coffee or tea, and we’ll talk about it.”

  “Let’s talk about it now, here. If I come into the house, I’ll lose my nerve. Or you’ll kiss me and I’ll forget what I need to say.”

  “Amy, I don’t know why we need to have this conversation now. If you need to say the words to me, go ahead. Do you think I’ll be upset?”

  “I have no idea! I’ve only seen you mildly upset once, and hardly over anything this major.”

  “This isn’t major.” At her shocked expression, he continued. “I mean, it’s not major in a bad way. I respect your opinion of how you feel. If you need to say those words to me, I won’t be upset.”

  “Gray, I love you! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  “I believe you think you’re in love with me. I just don’t happen to believe there is such a…thing as love.”

  “What do you feel for me?” she asked, her tone determined and cautious at the same time.

  “I feel many things for you,” he answered carefully, the car suddenly smaller, more confining. “Respect, admiration, desire. How about those for starters?”

  “But not love?”

  The crushing feeling in the center of his chest intensified. “I don’t believe in love. I think it’s something we delude ourselves into believing so we can justify sex, or monogamy, or compatibility. What some people call love is just a set of circumstances that would produce the same result in any number of individuals with the same characteristics.”

  “You sound like a textbook from some parallel universe. How can you not believe that two people share something beyond common values and sexual attraction?”

  “Because giving it a name makes it something almost sacred. Something that gives people excuses for doing things that are harmful.”

  “Love is powerful, but I don’t think that’s what you’re describing.”

  “I just think it’s a delusion, that’s all! I thought I loved my wife, but I was just saying the words, going through the motions. I asked her to marry me because she was beautiful and I was attracted to her. I thought we wanted success and everything that went with it, but I was wrong.”

  “Yes, you were wrong, but mostly she was wrong for you. If the two of you really loved each other—”

  “Right! Then she wouldn’t have betrayed me with my best friend. She wouldn’t have told me that she was tired of competing with my business.”

  “She was angry and she did something wrong. That doesn’t mean love is an illusion.”

  He shook his head. “Love is just some word that describes a weakness or a need, perhaps to control, sometimes to cause guilt.”

  “That’s so cynical! You don’t know anyone who’s happily married? What about Ethan and Robin? What about your mother and stepfather?”

  “Ethan and Robin are newlyweds. I hardly think they’re a good example. And my mother? She and my stepfather have a mutually beneficial alliance. She’s a great hostess and he provides plenty of money to maintain her lifestyle.”

  “What about my parents? They truly loved each other.”

  “I don’t know about your parents, Amy. Maybe their commitment to each other was never tested.”

  She plunged her fingers into her hair, letting out an anguished moan. “I’m not delusional, Gray. I know what I’m feeling.”

  “Amy, I’m sorry. I just can’t put a single name on a rather complex relationship.”

  “You mean you won’t. You won’t say the words so you don’t have to risk your heart again. You won’t believe because you’re afraid to trust me.”

  “I trust you.”

  “Do you? What if I traveled extensively, or went to every medical conference that was offered? What if I spent time around other doctors—male doctors?”

  He stiffened, the seat suddenly hard and uncomfortable. “You have a strong sense of ethics. You wouldn’t cheat on me.”

  “Did you feel that same way about your wife before you discovered her betrayal?”

  “That situation has n
othing to do with us!”

  “It has everything to do with us. I’m being cheated out of your love because of her infidelity!”

  “You are nothing like my ex-wife!”

  “But who am I? How do you feel about me?”

  “You have my respect, my admiration and my trust. Isn’t that enough?”

  Her eyes glistened in the dim light. “No.”

  He looked at her a long time…or what seemed like a long time. His features seemed to turn to stone as he sat in her car, as he watched his hopes for the future evaporate in the cool night air.

  She sniffed, breaking through the rigidity that kept him sitting there, watching, waiting for her to say she didn’t mean they were finished because he couldn’t say the words she wanted.

  “We could have a good life, Amy,” he said quietly. “We have a lot going for us, but I’m not going to beg.”

  “I need your love.”

  “You’re asking for too much.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  He reached for the door handle, all the while gazing into her expressive eyes. Those eyes that couldn’t lie. She looked devastated, but she didn’t cry. She simply watched him, her expression showing him that she was disappointed.

  Disappointed? She was the one who was breaking their engagement. She was the one who couldn’t settle for everything he had to give.

  “You could come in,” he offered. He didn’t want her to drive if she was so upset. Hell, he didn’t want her to leave at all. Surely they could work this out.

  “I’m fine. I’ll be careful.” She looked down at her hand, her eyes glistening. Before he knew what she was doing, she’d pulled off his engagement ring.

  “No!”

  “Take it. It’s not mine to keep.”

  “It’s yours,” he said, wrenching open the door, nearly stumbling out of the car when his knee gave way. He didn’t stop. He had to get away from her, before she could force him to take the ring, before she could end it forever.

  With his lungs burning from that terrible pressure, he opened the door and walked inside his silent house.

  AMBROSE WHEATLEY LIMPED into the Four Square Café, his spirits lower than a lovelorn toad. Just this Monday morning, he’d come into the clinic, feeling just fine, only to see Amy with red-rimmed eyes and a sorrowful expression. When she’d pushed her lanky hair off her face, he’d seen her ring finger as bare as a baby’s bottom.

  “What’s wrong, Amy girl?” he’d asked.

  “We broke up. He doesn’t think he loves me.”

  “What! Of course that man loves you.”

  “I know, but he doesn’t think so,” she’d sobbed, and run into her office.

  Gladys wasn’t a bit of help. She’d shrugged her shoulders and held up her hands, just as confused as he was.

  He didn’t know what to do except seek Joyce’s advice. She was a woman. She’d understand what was going on. And if they couldn’t put their heads together and come up with something, he was heading out to Gray’s place. Nobody was stomping on his little girl’s heart without answering to him.

  Sure enough, Joyce and Thelma were sitting at their regular table, chatting up a storm.

  “Ladies,” he said, “we’ve got a problem.” He explained what he knew to them and waited for an answer. Surely they’d know what to do. Hell, they were women!

  “I don’t understand, Ambrose,” Thelma said. “It’s clear to everyone that Amy and Gray are perfect for each other. Are you sure she didn’t say anything before? Maybe about a fight or something he did to make her mad?”

  “Not a thing. I was sure that things were goin’ along just great.”

  “Ladies, Dr. Wheatley,” Ethan Parker greeted them. The police chief was just about to walk by their table when Ambrose remembered he and Gray were good friends.

  “Just a darn minute, Chief,” Ambrose said. “We need to have a little talk about that low-down snake who broke my girl’s heart.”

  AMY RETURNED HIS RING on Saturday via the nurse from the clinic. Gladys had handed it to him without a word and left. He’d stood there staring at the velvet box and wondering how something that had seemed so right could have gone so wrong.

  He spent most of the weekend fuming about Amy’s hardheaded attitude toward their relationship. How could she walk away from the best thing that had ever happened to either of them? Didn’t she see that they were as perfect for each other as two people could be? Why did she have to insist on putting labels on what was basically a simple agreement? They’d get married, pursue their respective careers, have children when the time was right and build a good life for themselves in Ranger Springs. Simple. Why couldn’t she see that?

  When he went to bed Sunday night, his anger had faded. He wondered what she was doing, whether she was still upset. Were her eyes still filled with tears? Did she decide she was wrong after all—that she didn’t love him?

  Then he got mad at himself. Why would he be upset if she’d changed her mind? After all, she was deluding herself about love. Like most women, she’d needed some label to put on their relationship. Not that he thought she was planning on using it against him.

  Amy wasn’t petty or manipulative. She just wanted him to believe in a myth and then say the damn words. Every time he thought about laying himself open, he got that tight feeling again. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to her.

  On Monday, Gray couldn’t concentrate on the technical specifications his staff had written for electronic components of his new miniature receiver. They could have been describing an aircraft carrier for all he knew.

  “Dammit,” he muttered. He eased his injured knee off the chair he was using as an ottoman and pushed away from the desk. His head ached, his knee hurt, and he wasn’t getting anything done at the office. He might as well go home and sulk in private. Maybe he’d get it out of his system.

  Maybe he’d get her out of his head.

  “Fat chance,” he muttered as he paused in front of his administrative assistant’s office.

  “What was that, Mr. Phillips?”

  “I’m leaving for the day. Call me at home if there’s an emergency.”

  He walked to the rental car that had been delivered this morning. It was beige and boring. He hated boring beige cars.

  When he drove the obnoxious automobile in his garage, Ethan was waiting for him in the circular drive. He sincerely hoped no one was pressing legal charges because he’d run off the road. The only thing he’d destroyed—beside his Lexus—was a flimsy guardrail.

  “What’s going on?” he asked as he walked to where Ethan leaned against his black Bronco.

  “I’ve been sent as an emissary for some concerned citizens in town.”

  “What kind of concerned citizens? I haven’t done anything to worry anyone.”

  “Well, that’s debatable,” Ethan said, folding his arms across his chest. “There’s word that your engagement to Amy is off.”

  “Dammit!” Gray turned away from his scowling friend and looked out across the rolling hills.

  “Look, Amy and I had a discussion over what we each needed and wanted out of our relationship. It took me totally by surprise to learn that our goals weren’t the same. Hell, all along, when we pre…well, when we were dating, I thought we had nearly everything in common.”

  “Let’s go inside and talk about this. I know women can be perplexing. I didn’t have a clue about what was going on in Robin’s head until we both discovered how our aunts were matchmaking.”

  “Matchmakers!” Gray growled as he stalked toward the door. “I wish they’d never started interfering in our lives. Maybe Amy and I could have progressed in a more normal manner without the pressure.”

  Ethan followed him inside. “What are you talking about?”

  Gray eased down on the sofa and propped his knee on the table. For the next few minutes, he explained the pretend dating, then the pretend engagement. He had a harder time when Ethan pressed for details on why he wanted to progress fro
m a pretend, possibly long-term engagement to a rather quick wedding.

  “I’ll tell you what I told Amy—it just feels right.”

  “Are you the same Grayson Phillips who vowed never to get married again after what Connie did to you? I remember when you had to scrape together a settlement for her, about the same time you were expanding the business. You were up to your eyeballs in debt, but you didn’t let her betrayal stop your dream.”

  “And Amy wouldn’t interfere with my business either. One of the great things about our relationship is that we both have careers. Along with the ideals and goals we have in common, we could have had a great partnership.”

  “That all sounds fine and logical, but what about love? Isn’t that why you ask someone to marry you.”

  Gray shifted on the coach. “Not necessarily.”

  “So you dated her for convenience, pretended to be engaged to her to save your reputations, then suddenly decide to get married because you have a few things in common and she won’t mess with your business? Excuse me for being dense, but what’s missing here?”

  “Look, she thinks she’s in love with me. It’s a normal reaction, I suppose, after seeing me in the hospital after the accident. Her mother was killed in a car wreck, and I think Amy connected the two events in her mind. Hell, it was an emotional moment for her.”

  “But not for you.”

  Gray wanted to get up and pace, but his head was throbbing and his knee hurt from all the pointless wandering he’d done yesterday, while he’d been nursing his anger. “Look, you didn’t know me back when I first met Connie in college, but we were inseparable. We had a lot going for us. Sex, for one thing. She supported my career choice and was excited when I decided to start my own company based on that first invention. I was under the delusion that I was a very happily married man.”

  “Until she decided to cheat on you with another man.”

  “And my best friend at the time, to boot. She’d fallen in love with him, she said, as though that explained everything.”

  “In her mind perhaps it did.”

  Gray ground his teeth and shot off the couch, ignoring his injuries. “Romantic love doesn’t explain a damned thing. It’s just an excuse to do what you wanted to do in the first place.” He walked to the windows overlooking the hills. “I used love as a reason to marry her, when what I really meant was that I lusted after her and she didn’t give me any grief. She used love as an excuse to forsake her marriage vows and betray me with my best friend. Hell, I trusted both of them!”