Cathy Hopkins - [Mates, Dates 06]

by Mates, Dates

  ‘And me,’ chorused Nesta and TJ.

  ‘OK,’ said Lucy. ‘Say them out loud and why you picked them. Nesta?’

  ‘Cats because they’re elegant and independent. Leopards because they’re beautiful, and peacocks because they’re stunning when they put their tails up and strut their stuff.’

  Lucy laughed.

  ‘What?’ asked Nesta. ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘You’ll find out in a minute,’ said Lucy. ‘OK, Iz?’

  ‘Um, dolphins because they’re friendly and intelligent, orang-utans because when you look into their eyes, you can tell they have these really wise old souls, and owls because they’re meant to be wise, but if you ever take a good look at them, they’re actually hysterically funny — they can turn their heads round almost three hundred and sixty degrees.’

  Lucy burst out laughing again.

  ‘ What?’ I asked.

  ‘You’ll see in a minute. TJ?’

  ‘Penguins because they’re entertaining and have a funny walk, dogs because they’re intelligent, loyal and playful, and meercats because they look after each other — they’re really social animals.

  ‘OK.’ Lucy said, grinning. ‘I’ll tell you what it all means now. Your first choice was how you see yourself…’

  ‘That’s amazing,’ I said. ‘TJ picked penguins because they’re entertaining, and you are, TJ. Dunno about the funny walk, though. And Nesta picked cats because they’re elegant and independent. It’s really true.’

  ‘And you said dolphins because they’re friendly and intelligent,’ said Nesta, ‘That’s true as well.’

  ‘OK, what do the other choices mean?’ asked Nesta.

  ‘Second one is how others see you and the last one is how you really are.’

  ‘We see you as an orang-utan…’ laughed Nesta, pointing at me.

  ‘Yeah, fat and hairy,’ I said.

  Nesta laughed again. ‘We’re going to have to work on your self-esteem, girl.’

  ‘But it’s more the reason why you picked them that’s revealing, not the animal so much,’ said Lucy. ‘And Izzie said because when she looks at an orang-utan, she sees a wise old soul. That’s exactly how I see you, Iz.’

  ‘And you really are a peacock,’ said TJ, pointing at Nesta.

  Nesta’s face clouded. ‘Proud as a peacock. Oh dear.’

  ‘No,’ said Lucy. ‘You didn’t say that. You said you liked peacocks because they’re stunning when they strut their stuff. Nothing could be more true in your case.’

  ‘And others do see you as beautiful,’ said TJ. ‘You said leopards for your second one because they’re beautiful. Second one’s how others see you, right, Lucy?’

  Lucy nodded.

  Nesta started strutting around the room. ‘Yeah. And you’re an owl, Izzie. Why did you say you liked them?’

  ‘Because they can turn their heads three hundred and sixty degrees.’ I tried to do it, but nope, wouldn’t go.

  TJ pulled a face. ‘And I’m a meercat.’

  ‘But all the ones you chose, you said were because they’re playful, intelligent and loyal,’ said Lucy. ‘That’s exactly how you are, TJ. Don’t you see - your choices reveal a lot about your character.’

  ‘Kind of like how what you wear reveals who you are as well,’ I said. ‘So what did you pick, Luce?’

  ‘Horse, ostrich, dog. Horses because they’re gentle, ostriches because they’re funny and dogs because they’re faithful and fun.’

  ‘Spot on,’ said TJ.

  ‘OK,’ said Nesta. ‘I’m going to strut my stuff into the kitchen. Who wants what?’

  ‘Diet Coke,’ said TJ.

  ‘Same,’ said Lucy.

  ‘Izzie?’ asked Nesta.

  ‘How long are your parents out for?’ I asked.

  ‘Until about ten-thirty, I think,’ said Nesta. ‘They’ve gone to see a movie. Why?’

  I eyed the drinks cabinet under the bookshelf behind the sofa. They had an amazing collection of spirits and liqueur - some I’d never heard of. Nesta saw me looking and went and stood next to them. ‘What can I get you, Madam? Gin and tonic? Vodka and orange? Eggflip and marmite?’

  I went and stood next to her and put my finger under my chin. ‘Hmm, I’m not sure, barman. What do you recommend?’

  ‘Chocolate milkshakes with marshmallows,’ said Nesta, heading for the door. ‘How does that sound?’

  ‘Shall we try a drink drink?’ I asked. ‘You know, while your parents are out. Just a taste to see what we might like.’

  ‘I’ve tried most of them,’ said Nesta,‘ and I can tell you, they’re pretty yuck. Whisky is sour, vodka is tasteless and gin tastes like lighter fluid.’

  ‘Since when have you been drinking lighter fluid?’ I asked.

  Nesta screwed her face up. ‘You know what I mean. Not very nice.’

  ‘I’d like to try one,’ I said. ‘See, like what Lucy was saying about people’s choices revealing who they are — I don’t know what I like to drink.’

  ‘But most of them taste awful, honest…’ said Nesta.

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘I’ve tried some of Mum’s when she’s been out too. But you can mix them with other stuff, you know, to take away the taste of alcohol.’

  ‘So, what’s the point?’ asked TJ.

  ‘Well, you can’t drink Sprite or Ribena Lite forever. It’s looks a bit babyish sometimes.’

  ‘Says who?’ said TJ. ‘I don’t care. It’s what tastes good to me that counts. I’m the one drinking it.’

  ‘Yeah, but if you’re with a load of older boys or something, or at a party, it might be good to ask for something more sophisticated.’

  I glanced at the bookshelves and spotted a book tucked in with some recipe books. I pulled it out and read the title.‘ Cocktails for City Nights. How about we try one of these?’ I flicked through the opening pages. ‘There are loads here. Barracuda Bite, Moscow Mule… Oh, here’s one for me. It’s called Dirty Mother. What do you think? See what they taste like?’

  Lucy came and read the list over my shoulder. ‘Hey, TJ. How do you fancy trying a Screaming Orgasm?’

  ‘Exscooth me?’ she giggled.

  ‘It’s made from Irish cream, Kahlua, vodka and amaretto.’ I looked at the bottles. ‘Yeah, your mum has all of those.’

  Nesta came back over to the drinks cabinet and looked at the bottles. ‘Shall we?’ she asked with a mischievous look on her face.

  ‘Count me out,’ said TJ from where she was lying on the floor. ‘I don’t like alcohol. I tried some red wine once and it tasted like ink.’

  ‘Yeah, but some of these sound really nice,’ I said, still reading. ‘They have juice and liqueurs and some even have cream in them. I’ll make you a special one. A TJ Watts.’

  The milkshake sounded good to me,‘ said TJ. ’That’s what I fancy. Did you know that one glass of spirits has something like three hundred calories in it? I’d rather use my quota up on chocolate.‘

  ‘Oh, come on,’ I said. ‘Where’s your spirit of adventure? Let’s make a few of them. Just for a taste.’

  Lucy looked worried and glanced at Nesta. ‘But won’t your parents notice?’ she asked. ‘I mean, if the levels in the bottles have gone down, they’ll know it was us.’

  ‘We’re not going to drink that much, Lucy,’ I said. ‘Just experiment a bit. Last night when Josh asked what I wanted to drink, I felt stupid. In future, I want to be able to answer with confidence. I think that’s part of being a grown-up, knowing what you like. But I haven’t got a clue. I think it’s part of finding out who you are - you know, whether you like coffee or tea, spirits or wine and so on.’

  TJ grinned. ‘Well if you’re an orang-utan, we’d better get you some banana juice.’

  ‘Yeah right. Very refined. Not,’ I said.

  Lucy started laughing. ‘Drink? Oh, thank you, darling,’ she said in a posh voice. ‘I’ll have…’ She glanced at the cocktail book. ‘Yes, I’ll have a Tidal Wave - no, maybe not, sounds pretty
lethal. No, make mine…’ This time she made her voice go squeaky.‘… a Coconut Highball.’

  Nesta read over her shoulder and made her face go stupid. ‘And I’ll have a Zombie.’

  ‘That sounds nice,’ I said. ‘It’s rum, pineapple, lemon and orange.’

  ‘OK,’ said Nesta. ‘Here’s the deal. We mix up a few and have a little taste of each other’s. OK?’

  ‘And if the levels are down a bit,’ said Lucy,‘ we can fill the bottles up with a bit of water. That’s what my brother Lai did when he tried Dad’s whisky the other week. Dad never noticed.’

  We spent a short time picking the ones we liked the sound of, then checking to see if Nesta’s parents had the ingredients.

  ‘They’ve got most of them,’ said Nesta. ‘People always give them weird liqueurs at Christmas and they never get touched unless Mum is making some exotic dessert.’

  I picked a White Russian as I thought that sounded really cool. Nesta ended up choosing one called a Kamikaze, TJ went for a Pina Colada and Lucy decided that she had to try the Screaming Orgasm.

  ‘Just in case I never get off with a boy ever again and never actually get to have sex,’ she said, laughing. ‘At least I can say truthfully that I’ve had a screaming orgasm.’

  ‘Yeah. Who needs boys?’ I asked, running my finger down the index. ‘There’s one here called Sex With a Shark.’

  Think I’ll pass on that,‘ said Lucy. ’I’m trying to give up sharks. Rats are more my thing. Love rats.‘

  Nesta went and got juices and cream from the fridge and we spent the next ten minutes pouring and stirring. Once our drinks were ready, we took a sip of the one we made, then a sip of each other’s. My White Russian tasted fantastic, so after the others had a sip, I drank all of it. It had a load of cream and coffee liqueur in it and tasted really sweet. Fab. Nesta didn’t like hers. ‘Too sour,’ she said and handed it to me. I took a sip. Yuck. She was right. ‘Too much lime,’ I said.

  ‘Stick to the sweet ones,’ I said. ‘Here, I’ll make you one. A Nesta special.’ I poured some blackcurrant liqueur, a shot of gin and some vodka into a glass and swirled it around. It’s simple, I thought. You just mix up what you like until it tastes good. Nesta didn’t like that either, though. Waste not, want not, I thought, adding a bit of lemonade. Tastes like Ribena. So I slugged it back.

  TJ only took a sip of hers. ‘I thought we were just trying them,’ she said.‘Not drinking the whole thing. We might get drunk.’

  ‘Cowardy custard,’ I said. I took a taste of Lucy’s. Mmmm, I thought. Also quite nice. It tasted really sweet and almondy.

  ‘It’s got amaretto in it,’ she said. ‘Mum puts it in her cake mix at Christmas.’

  ‘Let’s try another,’ I said, raising my glass.

  Nesta pulled a face. ‘Not for me, thanks. I learned my lesson at your first gig with King Noz, remember?’

  ‘All forgotten,’ I said happily. It was around last Christmas and some plonker had given her a pile of champagne. It was my first performance with King Noz and I was really nervous about it, then Nesta got tiddly and hogged the limelight by dancing madly in front of everyone when they were supposed to be listening to the band. I suppose it was funny, looking back, but at the time, I was really miffed that she’d stolen all the attention.‘

  ‘I felt quite ill afterwards, if I remember rightly,’ said Nesta.

  ‘Can’t take your drink,’ I teased her. ‘OK. Lucy, do you want to try another one?’

  Lucy wrinkled her nose. ‘Haven’t finished this one yet. You’re not supposed to slug them back, you know, especially if you want to be more grown-up. You’re supposed to sip, like a lady. Like this…’ She took a mouthful and started gargling it and making her eyes go cross-eyed at the same time.

  TJ, Nesta and I all creased up and took mouthfuls of ours, then gargled as well.

  ‘Really, though, Izzie,’ said Nesta when we’d stopped laughing. ‘I don’t think you’re supposed to knock them back. And you’ve had two plus some of ours already.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘Just one more.’ I felt like being reckless and daring for a change. Everyone always thinks I’m the sensible one, I thought. Oh, sensible Izzie, she has all the answers. But I don’t, not really. I’m just a mad old orangutan. I looked back at the index and picked another cocktail. ‘I’m going to try one of these Tequila Sunrises. I think that sounds really nice, don’t you? And it’s mainly orange juice, so it will be OK, won’t it?’

  Nesta shrugged and started to put the tops back on the bottles. ‘I guess, but don’t blame me if you feel like crapola tomorrow.’

  I think this will be my drink, I said to myself, as I poured some tequila and orange into a glass. My brain was starting to feel slightly fuzzy, but in a nice way, as I poured in a generous measure. Slightly bitter, I thought when I tasted it. Needs something else. I added a dash of whisky and tried that. Nope, still not nice. So I added a tiny bit of Martini. No, yuck, that one doesn’t work at all. I put it to one side.

  After that, the others sat down and began to watch telly. I was feeling too good to just slob on the sofa, so I started reading through the cocktail book again.

  ‘I’m going to become an expert,’ I said. ‘Cocktail queen. When I’ve got a flat of my own, I’ll have all these drinks. A whole wall of them, like in a bar. And I’ll have the fluorescent ones as well, the ones that make drinks blue or green. Like really sopisti… no, I mean, soristi… no, sophisticated. S’a hard word to say, that. Isn’t it? Sopis… tic… ated. Never realised that before.’

  ‘Izzie, you’re drunk,’ said TJ from the sofa.

  ‘No, I’m not,’ I said. I wasn’t. At least I didn’t think so. I felt perfectly fine. ‘Don’t be silly. But I do feel good.’ Then I spotted some creme de menthe. ‘There’s a green one. I bet that tastes nice mixed with Bailey’s. My gran always has that, at Christmas. It tastes like it has chocolate in it.’ I poured a small amount of each into a glass.

  Nesta got up, took the glass out of my hand and took a sip. She almost spat it out. ‘It tastes of toothpaste mixed with liquified After Eight. Yee-uck. Way too sickly.’

  I took the glass off her and swigged it down. ‘Mmm. I like it. S’nice. Chocolatey.’

  ‘Come and sit down,’ said Lucy. ‘We’re going to start a video.’

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘Just going to the loo.’ I started to walk towards the door and that’s when I became aware that maybe the drinks were stronger than I’d thought. My legs seemed to have turned to jelly and the room began to sway. Oops, I thought, as I reached out to the wall for support. Am OK. Just a bit… wobbly. Walk straight.

  Lucy, Nesta andTJ were half laughing and half looking at me with concern. ‘S’OK,’ I said. ‘I’m fine.’ I was fine. It was them who were out of focus.

  I made my way out to the corridor and realised I was having a very hard time walking in a straight line. I made it to the bathroom and switched on the light. Very, very bright, I thought, as I sat on the loo and tried to pull myself together. Fine, I told myself, feeling fine. But my vision had gone all blurry and I was beginning to feel a tad nauseous.

  There was a knock on the door, then Lucy’s voice. ‘Izzie. You still in there?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘You’ve been in there for ages,’ she said. ‘You OK?’

  I made myself get up, but the room seemed to be spinning. ‘Yeah. Fine,’ I said. I opened the door and giggled.

  Lucy raised an eyebrow. ‘Come and sit down.’

  I followed her back to the sitting room, trying once again to walk in a straight line. Funny feeling this, I thought. Sort of giggly, but blurry at the same time. As we reached the sitting room door, I was vaguely aware of Nesta’s brother, Tony coming into the house.

  This would be a good time to stop and stand still, I decided. Prop myself up against the wall.

  Tony looked at me quizzically. ‘You all right?’ he asked.

  ‘Oops.’ I laughed as I leaned back on the wall and kno
cked a picture frame squiff.

  He gave me a funny look, then went into the sitting room. I followed, or rather fell, in after him. He took in the bottles and glasses. ‘You girls have been having fun, I see,’ he said.

  ‘Izzie’s drunk as a skunk,’ said Nesta from the sofa.

  ‘I am not. . .’ I said. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. Just felt a bit blurry and in need of a lie-down. On the carpet behind the sofa seemed like a good place, so I knelt down and crawled there. It felt nice and cool, so I curled up and closed my eyes. Euumm. Feel a bit funny, I thought, and opened one eye. All I could see was under the sofa and the skirting board. This is what mice see, I thought. Arrr. Sweet. A mouse’s view on life. But fine. Fine. Best have a little sleep.

  ‘Do you want to watch the video?’ asked Lucy, popping her head over the sofa top. ‘We’ve got Drop Dead Gorgeous’

  I waved my hand at her. ‘No, you jo astead. Just having a liddle sleep.’

  After that I was vaguely aware of voices and the telly. They sounded very distant. ‘She hasn’t had tequila, has she?’ I heard Tony say.

  Nesta shrugged. ‘Don’t know. Think so.’

  ‘Prepare for the hangover from hell, Iz, my old pal,’ called Tony over the sofa.

  ‘Okeee dokeee,’ I said without opening my eyes.

  ‘Tequila’s lethal,’ said Tony. I don’t know who he was talking to, though. It was way too much effort to open my eyes. My eyelids seemed to have stuck together somehow. ‘Even some of the most hardy drinkers can’t take it.Very nasty side effects. What else has she had?’

  ‘Blackcurrant liqueur, Bailey’s…’

  I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew there was a bitter smell of coffee. It made me want to retch. Tony was holding a cup next to my nose. ‘Come on, Iz. Have a sip.’

  I pulled a face and rolled away from him. ‘Don’t like coffee. I’m vegetarian. Want to sleep.’

  Tony began to laugh. ‘Did nobody ever tell you Lesson Number One in drinking, Izzie? Don’t mix your drinks.’

  ‘Won’t,’ I moaned. ‘Fact, won’t drink again. Been very, very stupid. Kay, go way now, need to sleep.’

  There was the sound of the front door opening and footsteps in the hall.