Man Buns

by Shari J. Ryan

  Before I head over to the beach rental shop, I’m going to peek into the pool area to see if Kai is working. I’m sure if she is, she’ll just give me the cold shoulder like she normally does when she’s working, but I need some kind of answer, even if it’s a roll of her eyes. Then, at least I’ll know she’s annoyed at something.

  I cross the pool deck and see another lifeguard in Kai’s seat. Great. I continue through the area and pass by the bar where I spot Lea working. “Hey Denver!” she shouts over.

  “Mahalo,” I respond. “What’s happening?” I’m playing it cool in case she doesn’t know anything. Knowing as much, or as little, as I do about Kai, I suspect no one knows what’s going on in her head. Even her sister.

  “You must be lonely today without the opportunity to tease my sister at the pool,” she snickers as she continues cleaning down the bar top.

  “Yeah,” I laugh back, playing it off like I know.

  “She seemed fine yesterday. She’s never called out of work before, so I think she’s got food poisoning or something. She must feel really crappy .”

  Maybe she got sick? That still doesn’t explain why she didn’t respond to my call in some way. “Is she going to the doctor?”

  “Nah, she said she’ll be fine. I guess it just needs to work its way through her system. She says that when she’s beating the crap out of Aunt Flo, too.” Aunt Flo? Oh God. Yeah, that’s not the case. I can attest to that at least.

  “Lovely,” I tell her.

  “I’ll tell Kai you were looking for her,” she says.

  “It’s all right. I’m sure I’ll talk to her later.”

  “Okeydoke,” she says, perky as hell. She always seems that way. I get the feeling the world could be collapsing in front of Lea, and she’d be staring through the dust, daydreaming about something exciting.

  I take my phone out of my pocket and hit Kai’s number again, waiting for the ring. Right to voicemail again. Damn.

  “Hey, Lea, what’s your address? I’m going to take Kai some soup or something to make her stomach feel better.”

  “You’re so freaking sweet, Denver. Here,” she says, taking a cocktail napkin and jotting down her address. “Tell her I hope she’s feeling better.”

  “No problem. I … uh … left Aya at the kids club, so if anything crazy happens over here—”

  “I’ll get the kiddo. She’s so cute. No problem.”

  “Thank you,” I tell her. “I’ll be back in an hour. “

  Without giving it another thought, I book it to the address Lea gave me, finding a cute, older-looking house, styled from several decades ago. Kai mentioned living in her family’s house, so it makes sense. Her Jeep is in the driveway. That’s a good start, at least. As I’m hiking up the driveway, though, I get a feeling of unease. What am I doing? I haven’t even given her twenty-four hours to return my call. Maybe she just needs some space. God, I’m acting over the top and a little stalkerish. I shouldn’t be here. Back in the day, I wouldn’t give a chick another thought if she didn’t return my call. I’d just move on to the next. I didn’t have the patience for games, but this situation with Kai is making me feel crazy, and what’s worse is I’m doing crazy things.

  I ring the bell, silently hoping Kai isn’t really sick because I showed up empty-handed. I decide to stand away from the peephole, another asshole move. She should have the right to avoid my presence.

  Asshole or not, the door opens, and Kai is dressed in her work clothes, not looking sick in the slightest. “What’s going on?” I blurt out.

  She starts to close the door. Another chick thing? What the hell? Twice in one week now. I don’t stop her from closing the door because that’s not my thing with women, just Aya. At least I have some self-restraint left.

  Before the door is completely closed, Kai reopens it. “What are you doing here?” she asks.

  “Why didn’t you return my calls?”

  “I didn’t know what to say.”

  “How about the reason why you left without saying goodbye last night?”

  Kai takes a long look at me and scoops her hair up off her shoulders, tying it up in a ponytail. “Come in,” she says. “Take your shoes off, please.”

  I shuffle my flip-flops off and follow her down the narrow hallway with peeling wallpaper, then into a family room with worn furniture. She plops down on the couch in front of a TV playing a rerun of The Bachelor or something of the sort. She grabs the remote and clicks the TV off.

  Meanwhile, I’m sitting awkwardly on her couch, feeling like I’m too tall for this particular sofa, with my knees jutting out a foot off the cushion. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my legs. “What happened?”

  “Aya called for me,” she says.

  “And?” I ask her. She didn’t know whether Aya knew she was there or not. “She had no clue what time it even was when she was calling for you. She didn’t believe me that you were gone, so she yelled out.”

  Kai turns her body, folding her leg up beneath her to face me. “Look, Denver, not only did I lose my parents, but I had to watch my little sister, who was twelve at the time, go through the emotions of losing her parents too. I did everything I could to make the pain better for her, but there was no way to fix her. The only thing there was for her was time to numb what she felt inside.

  I look down between my clasped hands, getting where she’s going with this. She thinks I’m not careful with Aya’s heart. “Ask me how many women I’ve dated since Isla, Aya’s mom, left two years ago.”

  Kai shrugs. “I’m not saying you would do anything to hurt Aya. That’s not my intention.”

  “I understand, Kai. I haven’t gone on one date because it didn’t feel right, and I didn’t want to hurt Aya. That little girl, though, she has been begging me to find someone. She wants another woman around, and she thinks she’s got it all figured out. I’ve told her no so many times that I felt like a broken record. I wasn’t trying to find anyone, and I was okay with settling into a single life. Then you came around, and something clicked in my head. My resolve to remain solo began to waver. I had a sudden desire to remember what being with someone felt like.”

  “With me?” she asks as if she still can’t understand my attraction for her.

  “You may have been the first woman I spoke to when I arrived in Maui, but like I said, something clicked and told me to try my hand at flirting with you, which I obviously screwed up at first.”

  “Yeah, you did. You’ve got zero game.”

  “When you’re numb below the waist for so long, you’re not really on your ‘A’ game.”

  “You’re numb below the waist? I’m afraid I have to disagree with that statement.”

  “Until last night I was. Or, until you put your hands on my hips, teaching me how to dance, you cruel woman.”

  Kai laughs, and I feel like I’ve at least accomplished something. “I totally did that on purpose,” she says.

  “Yeah, no shit. All you wanted to do was get in my pants, you dirty girl.”

  Her cheeks blush, and she flops her head into the back of the couch. “Shut it.”

  “Seriously, Kai, I know there are risks in life. There is the possibility of Aya getting hurt at some point because of decisions I make along the way while raising her, but I’m good at going with my gut, or at least I’d like to think so. I’m alive, and so is Aya, and she’s pretty happy overall. That’s something, you know?”

  Kai leans forward with a look of pain filling her eyes. “I wasn’t judging you,” she says. “I was scared of being the one to hurt Aya. I care about her a lot and after such a short time.”

  “Let’s make this easy, okay?”

  “What do you mean, like yourself?” she quips.

  “Shh,” I tell her, giving her a quick smirk. “I like you, as much I could like any woman after just a week or so. How do you feel about me? What bothers you about me?” I didn’t offer her similar feedback because the only thing that bothers me about her is whatever pain she’s
still suffering with after losing her parents. Life’s too short to have our decisions motivated by painful memories, and I’d happily prove that to her.

  “I feel the same way about you, not that I prefer to put all my cards out on the table or anything, but at twenty-eight, I think honesty is best. With that said,” she continues. “I guess there’s only one thing that really bothers me …” I can easily assume she’s referring to my job.

  “What’s that?” I play into her tease.

  “You are really bad at following pool rules.”

  Well, I wasn’t expecting that, but it’s something I can probably work on. “Pool rules suck. So—”

  “What about me?” she asks.

  “You’re bad at giving yourself credit for being a truly amazing person who has given up her life to care for someone else.”

  She blinks slowly, peers down at her lap and then back up at me. “I am bad at that, but I’d rather be humble because it keeps my anger at life in check.”

  “Fair enough,” I tell her.

  “Agreed.”

  “So, when I like a woman, I don’t play games. I see if it works. I see if there’s a possibility of a future. I go all in until I have a reason to—”

  “Pull out?” She smirks and chuckles with her breath.

  “Wow. That’s a lot of hot talk.”

  “Well, can you take the heat?”

  “Try me out, Kai. Give me a chance. We won’t tell Aya more than we have to until enough time has passed, and we’re both confident in the direction our relationship is moving.”

  “That means we’ll have to get good at sneaking around,” she says.

  “We’ll have to be quick at times too,” I reply.

  “How long do you have?”

  “Thirty minutes,” I tell her, feeling a jump in my pants and pounding in my chest. She clambers over to me, pinning me down on the couch, taking me as if she owns me.

  “Is this what you want?” I ask.

  “I want all of you before I decide that.”

  “What?” I ask, lifting my head to meet her gaze.

  “I need to try out the goods before I commit. I’m not an idiot.”

  I try to laugh but she’s holding me down, and the look on her face is as serious as a lion staring at a mouse, except I’m not a mouse. I’m the damn lion. “

  You should watch your mouth, beautiful. You don’t know what you’re asking for yet.” An idea pops into my head, and I lock my arms around her, lifting her up with one fluid motion.

  “Where are you taking me? We’re wasting time.”

  “It’s your first time, so you need it to be quick and painless. Leave it to the expert.”

  “Expert?” she questions.

  “I made a kid; that means I know what I’m doing.”

  Her head falls to my shoulder, laughing as I carry her down the hallway lined with bedroom doors. “Which room is yours?”

  “Mine is the last one on the left,” she says.

  I take her into her bright white room with vibrant, floral decor. It looks like a small form of paradise in here. Appropriate, I suppose. I lay her down on her bed, spotting a nightstand on the other side. “Where is it?”

  “Where is what?” she asks, propping herself up by her elbow.

  “Thumper?”

  “No way,” she snaps.

  “I’ll go through your drawers. Tell me,” I taunt her.

  “No, Denver,” she says, but with laughter.

  “It’s in there, isn’t it?” I point to her nightstand and walk around the bed. “What color is it? I bet it’s purple.”

  “Denver.”

  I reach for the drawer, and she doesn’t stop me. If she tried to, I wouldn’t push, but I’m reading her signs, and she’s up for it. I reach inside, figuring it’s not going to be up front, and sure enough my fingertips make contact with something silicone way in the back. I grab it and pull it out, finding this small little contraption that looks like a beginner vibrator. Not that I’ve tested them out, but I wonder how powerful this little thing can be. “It’s so cute. I bet it’s not too powerful though.”

  “Don’t mess with Thumper, now.”

  I hit the switch, shocked to hell when I hear it buzz loudly. The thing is quickly making my hand numb, so I guess I was wrong about size and power. “Well then, I stand corrected.”

  “You’re not licensed to carry that,” she says, narrowing her eyes.

  “Maybe not, but my trigger finger is well trained, so don’t you worry about a thing.”

  She covers her face to hide the blush creeping through her cheeks. “Denver, my God.”

  I hop down next to her on the bed. “So, I noticed you have a bathing suit on,” I tell her. “Is it becoming our thing to wear spandex that’s hard to remove quickly? If so, we’ll have to reconsider this plan going forward.”

  She removes the straps and pulls the material down, pushing her shorts along with it. I expected her to be more modest about being naked, especially with the daylight pouring in through her cracked open blinds. When you’re tanned, toned, and perfect, what’s there to hide though? I could stare at her like a goddamn painting all day. “I’m ready,” she says with her eyebrow slightly arched.

  Chapter Twenty

  Kai

  My pulse is between my thighs, and he’s still holding Thumper. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. Last night was a lot to take in ... yeah, ha … but this, this is another ball game ... yeah.

  I watch as Denver slowly removes his Billabong tee and pulls something out of his back pocket before dropping his swim trunks to the ground. “I came prepared, just in case luck was on my side today.”

  “You were hoping to get in my pants when you didn’t know if I’d even open the door?” I ask him, teasing.

  “It’s better to be prepared than to be without ammo standing in the middle of a battlefield.”

  “What?” I laugh.

  “Shh. Never mind.” He climbs over me, pushing me backward and diving down toward my breasts, treating each nipple with gentle flicks of his tongue. The cool air from my fan hits the wet trail he leaves behind, and the pain and swelling inside of me grow stronger. His hand travels down my stomach, slowly grazing down between my thighs and lightly pulsating a finger inside of me. The simple touch makes me go crazy, and I can’t control the volume of my moans or pleas for more. “Don’t tease me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he tells me.

  “You won’t.” I don’t know that for sure, but I’m wet and waiting, and I don’t know how it could hurt more than it does right now.

  He takes the vibrator and places the switch on low before touching it to where his finger just was. The sensation is like overdrive, and I don’t want to finish before I feel him inside of me. “Please,” I beg.

  He removes the vibrator and places it down beside me. The sound of the buzzing is making me hot, though. He rolls a condom down over his erect cock and grabs it by the shaft before slowly easing into me. The sensation is tight, and the pain is mild, but the pleasure is overwhelming. I must look scared, but I don’t want that to stop him. “Are you okay?”

  “More,” I whine.

  He places the vibrator onto my clit as he slowly pumps into me over and over. My body is moving on its own, racing to a finish line I can’t see, and my brain overfills with erratic thoughts, none of which are comprehensible. My cries turn into full-blown screams as I reach up, wanting to touch every part of him before wrapping my hands tightly around his ass, grabbing what I’ve wanted to since the first time he waved it in front of me at the pool. It’s like holding onto two firm kickballs, with the ability to dig my fingernails into the flesh to keep myself steady and bring myself closer, to eliminate whatever space is left between us.

  My body is arched off the bed as a numbing sensation masked in the form of warm honey fills every inch of my body. I’m weak but hot. I’m excited but breathless. I’m tired but want more. As my body releases and falls back into t
he plushness of my mattress, a coated rush of pressure surges into me, and Denver falls to the side, catching his breaths along with me. “Did I hurt you?” he asks through the sound of exhaustion.

  “No, you fixed me. The burning pain from loneliness, lack of touch, and no understanding of desire is gone.”

  “You weren’t broken. You just didn’t let yourself free to experience life for yourself,” he tells me. “Let me care about you, Kai.”

  “If that’s what you call caring about someone, you can care about me whenever you want,” I murmer.

  He smiles so sweetly that his dimples deepen and his eyes squint closed. He’s perfect. I’ve waited a long time for perfect, but I didn’t give up hope that I’d find what I was looking for. I just hope this isn’t a dream reaching a short-lived, happy ending.

  “I don’t want to leave you like this, but I have to go. I have to pick up Aya from the painting activity at the hotel,” he whispers into my ear.

  “It’s okay. I’m going to work, and I’m going to keep my eyes open for hot, single dads who might be horsing around the pool with their daughters.”

  “I might be one of those single dads horsing around the pool with my daughter. I look for trouble with hot lifeguards sometimes. It’s just what I do.”

  “Denver if you’re looking for trouble, don’t mistake me for being uneducated on what it takes to punish a man the right way. I might not have the experience to prove it, but I have the knowledge to back up my actions.”

  “Whoa, that escalated quickly. What exactly are you talking about right now?” he asks.

  I grab the vibrator he dropped beside us and turn it on high. “I don’t know. Maybe next time it’s your turn to meet Thumper.”

  “Hell no. You need to go back to sex-ed, Kai.”

  “And you need to behave yourself,” I tell him with a wink.

  Truth be told, I needed the morning off to collect my thoughts. Guilt, happiness, sadness—everything hit me last night, and I couldn’t come to terms with the directions my thoughts were going in. I want to be selfish, but it’s not the way I typically go about things, especially when my selfishness could hurt a child.