Just Business

by Julie Cannon

  Dillon had never felt as out of sorts as she had lately. She couldn’t concentrate, was easily distracted, and had no appetite. Everything she ate tasted like chalk, and when she was forced to dine with a business associate, she usually pushed enough food around her plate to make it appear she had eaten.

  So she had stayed away longer than she wanted and, judging by her reaction to Callie, not as long as she needed to.

  But Dillon saw nothing in the room except Callie. The flowers were pale in comparison to the woman she had made her wife. Callie’s blond hair was tucked behind one ear, a diamond earring winking at her. Her jeans accentuated her long legs, and Dillon halted her gaze at the rise and fall of her breasts. Callie seemed to breathe faster, and Dillon noticed her nipples harden under her T-shirt. It was all she could do to stay where she was.

  “Or are you two just going to ravish each other right here on the counter?”

  Dillon’s subconscious registered Ross’s voice. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  “I asked if you came to take your lovely wife to lunch.”

  This time when Dillon looked at Callie she was prepared, or at least as prepared as she could be. “If she’ll have lunch with me?” Dillon said as more of a question than a statement. A flicker of something flashed in Callie’s eyes.

  “Of course she will,” Ross interjected. “Go on, you two, take as much time as you’d like. Far be it from me to stand between two women in love.” The phone rang and Ross stepped over to answer it.

  Dillon looked at Callie and wanted to say, “What are we supposed to do?”

  Callie set the flowers she was still holding back in the cooler and grabbed her purse from under the counter and her jacket from the hook by the door. They didn’t speak until they stepped outside.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Callie said as the brisk fall wind blew her hair into her face.

  “About what?” Dillon asked, inhaling the clean scent of Callie. It was the closest they had been to one another since dinner with the Franklins.

  “What Ross said. We don’t have to go to lunch. I can run a few errands instead.”

  “Actually, that’s why I came by. We need to catch up, and keeping up appearances with Ross is part of our plan, isn’t it? You haven’t told him, have you?” Dillon didn’t think Callie would purposefully embarrass herself by telling her friends about their arrangement, but she didn’t want to assume anything.

  “No, though I’m surprised you care. I expected you to be concerned only about what people think about the infamous Dillon Matthews.”

  Dillon winced. “So what about lunch? We have to eat and it is almost noon.” She asked meekly, hoping Callie would say yes. She wanted to be with her—simply to look at her, listen to her voice, smell her hair. God, she had it bad. She was turning into a sappy version of herself, a lovesick puppy. But wasn’t she?

  “All right, though I’m not sure this is a good idea. But you do have a point. And we probably should catch up.”

  Dillon relaxed a little. At least she hadn’t told her to go to hell. They walked across the street to the Italian restaurant they both loved. When they stepped inside, Dillon was suddenly ravenous. The smell of fresh-baked garlic bread assaulted her senses, and her stomach let out a loud growl of protest. Callie looked at first her stomach, then her face.

  “Sorry. Guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”

  The hostess led them to a quiet table by the window, and before too long Dillon had a plate of lasagna in front of her while Callie nibbled on a Caesar salad. Dillon declined the waitress’s suggestion for a glass of wine. She wanted to be sharp. She wanted to take in every detail of her lunch with Callie. She might have to rely on it for her “Callie fix” for a long time.

  “How was your trip? Did you accomplish everything you needed to?” Callie sounded distant, barely interested, as if small talk was the only type of conversation that was bearable. But at least she asked something.

  Dillon wanted to say no. No, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. No, I couldn’t erase the memories of the way your body felt under me. I didn’t get you out of my heart.

  “It was about what I expected,” she replied instead. That wasn’t a lie. Dillon had gone away because she didn’t trust herself to be near Callie.

  Dinner at the Franklins’ had been torturous, and by the time they pulled into the driveway she thought she would jump out of her skin. Even though she knew Callie was acting, her body couldn’t help but react to the way she looked at her and touched her. If Dillon didn’t know better, she would have said that some of Callie’s touches lingered a little longer than necessary to convince Bill and Phyllis that they were in love.

  But she did know better. Callie hated her—and for good reason. She had used Callie for her own benefit without regard to her feelings, and Callie would never forgive her. Dillon had accepted that fact, but what she couldn’t handle was the way she wanted her.

  Dillon had fallen crazy in love with Callie. She had no idea when it happened or how, but she was absolutely, undeniably in love. During her time away Dillon had tried to analyze exactly how she knew this. She had never been in love before, so she had no real point of reference. But she did know that Callie was in her veins, in every pore and cell of her body. She was a part of her, and Dillon felt less than whole without her.

  She had gone away on the fake pretense of a business trip to try to purge Callie from her system. She had visited her old haunts where the feel of a woman and hot breath on her skin made her forget everything except the moment. But she hadn’t been the slightest bit interested in the scene around her. Another woman wouldn’t purge Callie from her skin and so she didn’t even try.

  “Everything okay here?” Dillon added.

  “Yes.” Everything except for the fact that you weren’t. “Laura called yesterday. Tim’s birthday is in a couple of weeks, and she invited us to a party for him at their house.”

  Dillon managed to swallow another bite of lunch. She suspected her lasagna was delicious but her throat was too dry to enjoy it. “Did she say anything else?”

  “Should she have?”

  Dillon surmised that Laura was surprised when Callie answered the phone. She had probably covered her amazement by talking about Tim’s party. But Dillon couldn’t hide her own feelings that easily, though she tried by not answering Callie’s question.

  Callie asked another one. “You told her?”

  Dillon was afraid to look at her. “She’s my sister, and probably my only friend. I needed someone to talk to.”

  “So now she knows what a fool I am. Does anyone else know?”

  “No,” Dillon said quickly as Callie’s words hit her in the stomach. Obviously she had hurt Callie again. Jesus, would she ever learn? “Nobody. Just Laura. She doesn’t think you’re a fool.” Dillon gave up trying to eat and set her fork down. “She called me a pig.” She glanced at Callie. “Actually she said I was an asshole, a pig, and a liar.” Laura’s words still stung, and because they were the truth they always would.

  “I knew I liked her.” Callie smiled. “She welcomed me into the family and was beginning to seem like the sister I never had, before…you know.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this. I was selfish, self-centered, a pig, a cad, a liar, and everything else you want to call it. Probably even a few things I’ve never even heard of.” Dillon looked Callie directly in the eye. “But I deserve all those names. I absolutely deserve them. I was all of those things and I am sorry. I am truly sorry. I hurt you and I will never forgive myself and I don’t expect you to either. I used Bill and the loss of his granddaughter to get what I wanted. What I did was uncalled for, and nobody deserved to be treated the way I treated them. You especially. I played to your weakness and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I know you don’t believe me, but if it takes me the rest of my life I’m going to try to make it up to you.”

  Callie looked stunned by Dillon’s admission, and the lines around her mouth s
oftened, almost as if she wanted to believe it. But then the lines tightened again, and Dillon knew she had hurt Callie so deeply she would never accept anything she said.

  “You’re right, Dillon. We didn’t deserve it.” Callie wasn’t going to let her off the hook.

  “I’ve been thinking about coming clean with Bill and Phyllis.” Dillon felt like she was in the middle of rehab, the phase where you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness. It was an uncomfortable place to be.

  “Don’t you dare.” Callie’s words were harsh. “Don’t you hurt them too. Knowing what you did would devastate them.”

  Just like I did to you, Dillon thought. “All right, if you say so.” Dillon let Callie make the call on this one. She would let her make the call on everything if she would only forgive her. On the way back from Canada, Dillon decided that she wanted Callie in her life and would do anything to get her back. It wouldn’t be easy—it might be impossible—but she planned to try. She had to.

  “Yes, I do. Telling them won’t accomplish anything other than to ease your guilt. It would crush them, and I care too much for them to let that happen.”

  “I was just thinking about you.”

  “How so?”

  “You’re the one who has to put on an act whenever we’re together. I was only trying to make it easier for you.”

  “At the expense of someone else?”

  “No, not at all.” The conversation was rapidly going downhill. “I was just…” Dillon sighed and dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

  Dillon’s confusion tore at the edges of Callie’s heart. She didn’t want to see her in pain, but it was the only way she would learn. She had to be held accountable for what she had done. This was more than just a business deal; she had fucked with people’s lives. She had crossed the line.

  “I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it, Dillon, but I will decide what I have to do.”

  “All right. You’re running the show here, you call the shots.”

  Callie knew she should feel better, superior, in charge, but she didn’t. The selfish part of her, her pride, wanted to, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to be morally better than Dillon. She wanted to be her equal. “Dillon—” She started to say as much, but Dillon interrupted her.

  “It’s getting late. You probably need to get back.” She signaled for the check, effectively ending their conversation.

  *

  When Dillon arrived back at her office, Greg was on the phone and motioned that the call was for her. She shook her head, not feeling up to dealing with anything, but when Greg informed her it was Michael, she hurried inside her office and picked up the receiver.

  “Michael?” Callie had mentioned that even though her brother could make collect telephone calls, he never called her. Now here he was phoning Dillon. Her senses were on high alert.

  “Dillon? I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

  Michael sounded like he was talking inside a cave. Dillon guessed he was in a room with more concrete than carpet.

  “No, of course not, Michael. You can call anytime. Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you without Callie around.”

  “Okay.” Dillon didn’t know what else to say. During her visits to Lompak with Callie she had never really spoken with him. Callie was there to visit her brother and they did all of the talking. Dillon sat down in her chair, her eyes straying to the painting of the beach that Callie had given her on their wedding day. Next to it was a scene of a mountain lake.

  “Dillon, I…uh…” he stopped. Obviously Michael was struggling with what he wanted to say.

  She helped him out. “Michael, this conversation is between you and me. You’re Callie’s brother, and if you need something I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

  Dillon thought she heard him take a deep breath. “I want to thank you for what you’re doing. For helping me. Paying for my attorney, Mr. Nixon.” His sentences were coming out in short bursts. “I really appreciate it. You don’t have to, you know.”

  “Michael, you don’t have to thank me. I want to.” Dillon did want to help Michael. She knew him only from what Callie had told her, and other than his current circumstances, he seemed to be a great guy.

  “Yes, Dillon, I do. It means a lot to me.” He paused as if deciding to say something else. “You know my sister really loves you.”

  Dillon heard a beep in her ear, reminding her that their conversation was being recorded. “How do you know?”

  “The way she looks at you, the way her face lights up when she talks about you. Jesus, even the way she walks next to you when you two come into the room. She’s got it bad.” He chuckled.

  The anonymity of the phone gave Dillon courage. “I love her too. Your sister is a wonderful woman.” Dillon thought it was unusual that the first person she honestly declared her love for Callie to was a man locked up in a maximum-security prison.

  “Yes, she is, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

  Dillon didn’t like the way the conversation had turned. “What makes you say that?”

  “Because she’s so head over heels in love with you, she’s vulnerable.”

  “I have no intention of hurting her, Michael.” Any more than I already have.

  “I’m glad to hear that because I love her, and I don’t know how much more shit in her life she can take.”

  Dillon breathed a little calmer. “I love your sister, Michael, and I’ll do anything for her.” Dillon’s words echoed in her brain.

  They exchanged a few more pleasantries and quickly ended the call. She dropped the receiver back into the cradle and suddenly felt exhausted.

  *

  Their conversation nagged at Callie for the remainder of the day. She faced a barrage of questions from Ross when she returned from lunch, including one that said she didn’t look like she had just come back from lunch with her new wife. She made up some excuse and did her best to avoid him the rest of the afternoon. On her way home she finally realized why their conversation had unsettled her so much.

  Dillon had practically rolled over and played dead. She didn’t defend herself or try to explain, and she definitely didn’t make any excuses for what she had done. Would Dillon have assumed responsibility for World War II if she had accused her of it? She let Callie have anything, including the right to chew her butt over and over again if she wanted to.

  Callie frowned as she pulled into the driveway. Did she have that much control over Dillon? Did she want that kind of power over another person? Over Dillon?

  Parking her car, Callie turned off the engine and sat in the dim light of the garage. For so long she had barely held on to what she had, and now her entire world had changed. She had gone from practically nothing to having everything to back to practically nothing again. Sure, she had Dillon’s name, her money, and the opportunities that came with this new position, but she was alone. She was living a shell of a life. A very beautiful shell but a shell nonetheless. Her life was empty. She was suddenly very tired.

  She sat in the garage for another few minutes. When the door had lifted, she had been surprised to see Dillon’s car parked on her customary right side. Callie was usually here much earlier than Dillon, who sometimes didn’t come home until long after she went to bed.

  Gathering her strength to go inside, she reached for the car door handle, then suddenly stopped. Dillon’s words from lunch today came back to her as if she were hearing them for the first time. Dillon had said that she was the one who had to put on an act when they were in public. Did that mean Dillon didn’t? The door leading into the house opened and the woman in question stood on the threshold.

  “Is everything all right, Callie?” Dillon approached the car. “You’ve been sitting out here for a while. Do you need anything?” Dillon looked into the backseat and toward the trunk of the car. “Callie?” Dillon asked again, after Callie hadn’t answered any of her quest
ions.

  Callie turned when she saw Dillon, who seemed to be an angel watching out for her—her guardian angel. Callie’s heart jumped. Dillon’s concern for her appeared to be real, but she had thought that Dillon married her because she loved her. Dillon hadn’t destroyed only Callie’s trust in her; she had destroyed her trust in herself. Callie’s serious misjudgment had shaken her faith and self-confidence more than she ever expected.

  “Everything’s fine. Just thinking for a minute.” Callie gathered her things and Dillon opened her door.

  The garage was large but she had parked closer to the left wall than she usually did, and she had to squeeze by Dillon to get into the house. When she did, she inhaled the scent she had come to know as uniquely Dillon. The combination of musk and pine instantly took Callie back to being in Dillon’s arms. She tripped on the step into the house.

  Dillon reached out to catch her, her arm wrapping around Callie’s waist. Their intimate contact sent a bolt of heat down Callie’s spine, and it settled in her groin. When they touched as part of their public displays of matrimonial affection, Callie’s body always reacted, but she had never revealed what their nearness actually did to her. But now her eyes were mere inches from Dillon’s mouth and she fixed her gaze on lush red lips. Her breath quickened, and this time she didn’t try to hide her response.

  Callie looked from Dillon’s lips to her eyes. She read the flame of desire in them that had become so familiar in their short time together. She could understand why Dillon had desired her. After all, she was an attractive woman. And she really didn’t think Dillon had faked the dozens of times they had made love.

  The seconds ticked by and neither one moved. Callie could no more forget the way her body responded and the thrill of Dillon’s touch than she could forget her own name. She missed lying next to Dillon in the quiet stillness just before dawn. The way their bodies talked to each other in the darkness of the night, conversing easily over a cup of coffee or fixing dinner together. No matter how hard she tried to deny the fact, she was still in love with Dillon Matthews. Dillon must have read something on her face because the color of her eyes darkened and she licked her lips.