Cross Your Heart

by Michele Bardsley

  “Well,” I said, “let’s get everything inside, shall we?” I looked at the boxes and bags. “Do you need help?”

  “Oh, I do,” said Tawny. She handed a stack of Tupperware to Tez, which put him in close proximity to her breasts. She was a master at wielding those melons. I took a distinct satisfaction in the panic that flashed across Tez’s features.

  “Lead the way, Elizabeth,” said Serri. “And thank you for inviting us into your home.”

  I appreciated that Serri was at least trying to make up for an etiquette faux pas. I opened the door for everyone, and they trooped inside. Tez led them to the kitchen, and I followed.

  “You have a lovely home,” said Serri. “So many beautiful things.”

  I heard longing in her voice, and I turned from the pantry to look at her. Serri’s expression was wistful as she unloaded one of the bags. I knew dissatisfaction when I saw it; heaven knows I’d felt the emotion often enough. She caught me staring, and sidled a glance at Tawny. The redhead was too busy flirting with Tez to notice either me or her companion. Serri very slightly shook her head, a warning that I had no idea what to do with, and resumed unloading the “offerings.”

  “Mostly it’s food,” said Tawny. “I made the cookies. You seemed like a chocolate chip kind of man.”

  “Oatmeal raisin,” said Tez, slipping away from her to check out the items Serri had put onto the counters. “Your pride is very generous.” He slipped a yellow Post-it off the top of a covered dish. “ ‘Hope you enjoy my famous Sex in a Pan dessert,’ ” he read. “ ‘And if you want something else sweet, just call me.’ ”

  “That bitch!” Tawny reached for the paper, then realized what she was doing. She looked down, away from Tez’s surprised gaze, and curled her hands into fists.

  “Do you mind if I see the note?” asked Serri.

  Tez handed it over. Tawny’s fury was so palpable I wouldn’t have been surprised to see her ignite the floor with her glare. I wisely stayed on my side of the kitchen.

  “Who?” hissed Tawny.

  Serri sighed, and placed the note back on the foil. “Merrian.”

  “What the hell is going on?” asked Tez. “It’s just a damned note.”

  “No one is supposed to contact you. Not until . . .” Serri trailed off, her gaze flicking toward Tawny.

  “The party,” finished the redhead weakly. She smiled, but the attempt did not soften her angry expression. “Tomorrow evening.”

  I’d been so caught up in my own situation, I’d forgotten that Tez had arrived for a specific purpose: to meet the pride and decide if he wanted to be part of it. I would be happy for Tez to settle in Broken Heart, but not thrilled with him living near so many available, and willing, were-cats.

  Still. It was his choice.

  It looked like I would be headed to Tulsa by myself. I pushed down the disappointment. I’d looked forward to spending more time with Tez. He’d been right. Despite the more terrifying elements, I very much enjoyed trying to figure out the puzzle. We were missing so many pieces.

  Tez’s gaze met mine, a question in his eyes, and I shrugged. Obviously there was some undercurrent here that neither of us understood.The were-cats mostly stayed to themselves. I knew very little about their culture or their societal mores. However, it didn’t take an anthropologist to figure out this Merrian had broken a rule. What made me worry was that Tez was at the heart of an unknown situation. They wanted something from him, and now I was worried. Something felt desperate about Tawny and Serri, but what did I know? I just wanted Tez to be safe . . . and these were-cats were dangerous. Oh, I knew Tez could take care of himself. But that knowledge didn’t stop the foreboding clutching at my stomach.

  “I’m going to make tea,” I said. “Serri, can you help me? And, Tez? Be a dear, and show Tawny the garden. It’s much prettier in the spring, but it still has some lovely foliage.”

  Tez’s eyebrows nearly hit his hairline. I knew he’d probably prefer being dumped into a pit of scorpions than being alone with Tawny, but I was afraid he’d just have to take one for the team. I needed to talk to Serri alone, and there was no way she’d say a word to me with Tawny in earshot.

  Tawny, of course, was all on board for a little alone time with Tez. She brightened. “I love gardens,” she said. “Through the back door there?”

  “Yes.” I jerked my head toward the door, and gave Tez a Get going stare. He lobbed back a You owe me big glare, and then guided Tawny outside.

  “What kind of tea do you like?” I asked. I crossed the room and opened the cabinet where I stocked all the tins. “I have many varieties.”

  “Ah, yes. Tea.” She laughed and I knew that Serri hadn’t been fooled for a minute. “I can’t go against her, you know. Tawny is the alpha’s first mate.”

  I stopped examining the tins, and looked at her. “First mate?”

  “Most prides are small. The variety of cat isn’t as important as keeping the structure intact. Most of us are blends with dominant features. I’m leopard. Tawny is tiger. Our alpha is lion. Traditionally, there are more females than males. Our pride leaders have a coalition. That means we have two male leaders, the alpha and his second.” She began unwrapping treats, probably trying to keep busy because the conversation was making her uncomfortable. She was sharing information that was not mine to know.

  “The alpha has more than one mate?” I asked.

  Serri sighed. “Revealing the secrets of the pride is a punishable offense.” Her gaze flicked to mine, and I saw her unhappiness. “Screw it. What more can they do to me?”

  She leaned against the counter, and I grabbed a tin from the shelf, then started the kettle to boiling.

  “Two males in each pride, and they each have three mates,” said Serri. “Those not deemed mates are still expected to share the beds of the males. Procreation is important.”

  I tried to wrap my brain around what she was saying. The conclusion I reached put a sour taste in my mouth. “Oh, Serri.”

  “I know what you’re thinking, but that’s not the case. Not these days. In ancient times, the shifters were incestuous and were-cats stayed with their own breeds. A vicious cycle, if you will. All were-cat species were weakened, and some went extinct. That’s when elders got together and decided interbreeding would save us—as would not mating with our direct blood relatives.”

  I was relieved to hear it. I knew many ancient cultures, from the Egyptians to medieval royalty, indulged in incestuous relationships to keep the bloodlines pure. I tried not to be judgmental, but the idea of people sleeping with their siblings or their children made me nauseous.

  “At the most, two or three females within the pride will have a child. It’s why the males spread the love around. They never know who’s fertile. Usually the first female to have a child becomes the alpha’s first mate.”

  “So Tawny had a baby?”

  Serri shook her head.“She was the alpha’s second mate. She got pregnant, but miscarried. The alpha’s first mate passed away a couple of years ago—before we relocated to Broken Heart. Tawny basically got a promotion.”

  “And where are you in the social strata?”

  “First mate to the second,” she said softly. “His name is Trak. We have a son. Dayton. He turned a year old last month.”

  “You must love your family very much.” The kettle started to whistle, and I hurried to the stove and removed it from the heat. Then I prepared a pot of green tea. It seemed just the thing we needed. As I waited for the leaves to steep, I glanced at Serri. “It must be difficult to share your husband.”

  “It is. He loves me,” she said. “Only me.” She sounded fierce, and underneath the possessive tone was sorrow. “He angered the alpha when he refused to take on another two mates. But he cannot deny his duties to the pride. He must take another lover at least once a month.”

  I poured the tea and handed her a cup. “Would you like honey to sweeten it?”

  “No, thank you.” She blew on the water and then sipp
ed. “This is quite good.”

  “The trick is not to let green leaves steep for more than a minute or two; otherwise the tea tastes bitter.” I poured my own cup, and stirred honey into the fragrant liquid. “So, if incest is banned, how do you get new blood into the pride?”

  “Exchange programs with other prides. Once our children reach the age of eighteen, they are required to leave our pride and go to another. Every child gets a college education, but they must return to the pride and accept their place within it. The alphas use the children as bargaining chips. Boys have more value than girls, especially sons of alphas.” Serri sighed and put down her teacup. “I would give almost anything to live as others do. How wonderful would it be to have a house like yours, Elizabeth. My mate and I could live and love each other in such a place, and raise our son free from the constraints of the pride.”

  “You could make that choice,” I said. “I know how it feels to be trapped by duty. It suffocates your happiness.”

  “Yes, that’s how I feel,” said Serri, nodding. “Leaving isn’t really an option. We would be outcasts and lose the protection of the pride. Sometimes outcasts are hunted and killed. Dissension means death.”

  “That’s terrible!”

  “It’s the way of the world,” said Serri.

  “Not in Broken Heart,” I insisted. “You could go to Queen Patsy and ask for sanctuary.”

  Serri looked at me in surprise. “She would grant such a thing?”

  “I don’t see why not. You shouldn’t be stuck in a life you don’t want.”

  “Maybe.” She seemed to absorb the idea with a tiny, hopeful smile. Then she hesitated. “Tez likes you very much.”

  “I like him, too.”

  “That makes things . . . difficult. Were-cat females are vicious competitors, especially before mates are named.”

  I laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not in any sort of competition for Tez.”

  “I’m afraid you are.” She looked over her shoulder, probably to make sure Tawny wasn’t stepping through the door. Both of us would probably hear Tez and Tawny before they even reached the door, but I didn’t blame her for using caution. Tawny was not a person I wanted to cross, either. “Our alpha is dying.”

  “Dying?” Shifters were long-lived and most were immune to human disease and illness. Of course, that didn’t mean they never dealt with any ailments.

  “He suffers a rare, aggressive form of cancer,” said Serri. She looked away, nibbling her lip. “Calphon is the last male child of a very old pride that ignored the new laws of the elders. Even though ‘new’ in this case means hundreds of years.”

  “You mean . . . incest?”

  “I hate to admit it after trying to reassure you that were-cats, as a whole, no longer practice the old ways, but some prides are stubborn. But they are very few. Calphon’s lineage was weakened by the intermarriage of siblings and parents. He’s not as strong as most shifters.”

  “But he’s alpha?”

  “It’s one of the reasons he sought refuge in Broken Heart. He didn’t want to face challenges, or endure territorial battles. He’s nearly six hundred years old. I think, too, that he’s just weary. Tawny is . . . um, high maintenance.”

  I had no doubt Serri was being kind in that description. But I could see why Tawny was angling so hard for Tez. She didn’t want to give up her status as alpha’s mate.

  “Calphon has weeks, maybe days, to live. In most cases, his successor would be his second and the new second would be chosen from eligible men from a different pride. Except Trak doesn’t want the status. And the alpha is being cautious about letting others know about the pride’s vulnerabilities.”

  “So, he managed to track down a complete outsider who has no knowledge of were-cat rules and regs?” It had been a clever thing to do, and I respected Calphon’s foresight. It seemed he cared about what happened to the pride. I might not agree with the were-cat lifestyle, but I had no right to judge it.

  “How did he find Tez?” I asked.

  Serri shrugged. “I have no idea. But Tez is handsome, virile, and strong. He’s the rarest of our species. If other prides find out he’s without a home, we won’t be the only ones competing for him. You can imagine our urgency to snare him, if you will.”

  Something cold and awful squirmed in the pit of my stomach. “You want Tez to be the new alpha.”

  She nodded. Pity flashed in her eyes, and it made me wonder just how much my feelings for him had shown. For a long moment, I couldn’t even speak. The teacup trembled in my hand, and I put it down before I dropped it. “He’s perfectly free to make his own choices. If he wants to lead your pride, I’m sure he’ll be quite good at it.” Inside, I was seven kinds of jealous and worry. I couldn’t stop thinking about that bone-melting kiss I’d shared with Tez, and how I’d very much like to share more. A lot more. “Tawny’s jockeying for position.”

  “Exactly,” said Serri. She eyed me. “You look ready to explode.”

  “I’m incapable of taking a breath to calm down!” I felt wretched. Even as I was trying to decide whether or not Tez and I could possibly have anything together, I’d been walloped by knowledge that, no, no, we would not have a relationship. How could we? He was the last of his species, and it only made sense that he should procreate with another of his kind. I couldn’t deny him children. I knew all too well the regret incurred by not having children. It was too late to dream of the life I might’ve had if I’d only had the courage to find a man who loved and cherished me.

  Perhaps, it wasn’t too late. I might not be able to have Tez, but I didn’t have to be alone for all of eternity, either.

  “I know you must be upset.” Serri reached out and patted my shoulder. “But what future does Tez truly have with you, Elizabeth? Even if you were alive, you couldn’t bear his children. None of us claim pure bloodlines. None but Tez. Would you deny him?”

  “I would deny him nothing,” I whispered. In my heart of hearts, I knew it was true.

  “Then let him go. Let him have a life with his own kind. Let him be a father.” She squeezed my shoulder one last time before she let me go. “I’m trying to protect you. If Tawny or any of the other females realize you might be a threat, they will come after you.”

  “This isn’t the savanna,” I said. “It’s Broken Heart. They have an accord with the town. I seriously doubt Queen Patricia would put up with were-cats trying to harm me, or any vampire.” Of course, they didn’t need to know Patsy was incapacitated, and quite mad.

  Good Lord. This had been a helluva bad day.

  I heard Tez and Tawny’s voices and realized my vampire hearing had picked them up while they were still several feet from entering the house. Serri had heard them, too, with her cat ears, and she immediately got busy arranging things on the counter.

  I didn’t think I could behave pleasantly with Tawny, and I knew that Tez would realize right away something was wrong. He had that silly Elizabeth radar. Why was it that the only man I couldn’t have, that I shouldn’t want, had me figured out?

  “I’m not feeling well,” I said. I was being a poor hostess as well as a poor sport. “Would you make my excuses?”

  “Of course,” said Serri. She looked at me, her gaze filled with empathy. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”

  I nodded, and then I hurried to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to find my center. I did so miss breathing.

  I heard Serri make my apologies, and offer to pour tea. I assumed that Tez would try to get rid of the girls as soon as possible. At which point, he’d want to talk to me.

  Damn.

  I clambered down the stairs, and flipped on the lights. All I needed was a minute or two to gather my wits. Then I could face Tez, and do what needed to be done. Probably. Elizabeth Bretton: she who understands duty, and its deplorable price.

  To rein in my agitation, I brushed my hair and redid my makeup. Then I straightened my room. I put the stack of romance novels I’d fin
ished this past week into a bag to donate to the library. I realized my bed was still crusted with mud from my woodland trek, so I stripped the bedding and remade the bed with fresh sheets and a clean comforter. Then I plumped the pillows.

  I supposed I could have gone through my closet to collect the clothing I didn’t wear anymore. I had some shoes and bags that were still in good condition, too. When we—that is, I—went to Tulsa tomorrow, I could drop it all off at my favorite charity.

  I flopped backward onto the bed.

  What I really wanted to do was kiss Tez. I wanted to talk to him and laugh with him. I wanted to take the chance he’d offered. Why was he so sure about our potential? It was flattering and frustrating. When had I ever been that certain of anything? I was tragically not one who took leaps of faith. I tended to think situations to death, just as I was doing now.

  Argh!

  I rolled onto my side, tucking a pillow under my head, and lamented my inability to, as Patsy might say, put on my big-girl panties and deal with it. With Tez. With the shadow. With my own insecurities.

  I focused on the lamp situated on my nightstand. Maybe I should replace it. It was pretty enough, I supposed, but I was envisioning a redesign of my bedroom. I was feeling the call of blues and silvers, and certainly I could—

  I rose up, my gaze on the shade. Draped on the side facing the bed was a gold pendant necklace.

  It wasn’t mine.

  But I knew who it belonged to. I remembered it from the vision of Elizabeth. She’d been wearing it as her killer carried her out to the woods.

  The hairs rose on the back of my neck, and I slowly sat up. How had it gotten here? I clutched the pillow to my stomach, feeling a little sick.

  Had the shadow brought it to me?

  Another token. But this had not been on the shelf in the attic.

  Was that why he’d gone to the grave? To find the necklace as a backup connection? It didn’t make sense to give me the objects imbued with her essence.

  I shook off my fears, and tried to call upon some reason. Why on the earth would the dark entity leave me another gift? If Tez and I were right in our supposition, then I was only one of five victims. And if I was supposed to be the recipient of all the stolen objects, then why just send over the silver box? And now, this necklace?