Down in Flames

by Jennifer Siddoway

  I nodded thoughtfully, feeling guilty for not going to check on Kevin sooner. I’d felt that kind of sorrow before, been acutely aware of it, so I knew what he was going through. It was the kind of sadness that couldn’t be lifted no matter how hard you tried. You felt like there was no hope, no point in even trying. I hated knowing he was suffering like that.

  “So, one of them picked up on Kevin’s sadness and has been leeching off him?” I asked her to clarify.

  “It gets worse than that. Sirens have a unique skill and contact. If they can convince a mortal to take their own life, they get to take their place in the Mortal Realm.”

  Oh, Hell no.

  I looked back at my sister’s pained expression and knew that she was right. I had a moral obligation to my almost brother in-law that trumped any information I would receive.

  “Isn’t that a Guardian’s job?” I asked her skeptically.

  “Technically, yes, but it’s different and you know it. You know him, Wynn! Please help me with this. I tried comforting him myself, but he can sense me. Feeling me there beside him made things worse. I hate knowing that he’s still so sad, and I refuse to let him live the rest of his life alone. It isn’t right. Kevin is too young and has too much to offer the world to give up on himself. He needs to fall in love again. You have to help him move on.”

  “How am I going to do that? The angels will kill me if they are able to track my magic. I’m supposed to be staying on the down low, if you know what I mean.”

  She shook her head. “Then you’re going to have to find some other way. I saw him recently and it doesn’t look good. If you don’t go to him, and soon, the siren is going to finish him. Please, Wynn. I can’t do this by myself. He needs you.”

  My heartstrings tugged uncomfortably and I knew that she was right. Kevin was like a brother to me, even though he and Elyse never made it down the aisle, and we still thought of him as family. I loved him dearly and couldn’t let a demon sink her claws in and make him think his life wasn’t worthwhile. I sighed, pulling myself off the steps and brushing off the front of my jeans. “Okay, I can go check on him right now.”

  She nodded, tilting her head towards the driveway. “Now get over there and save him before it’s too late.”

  HJ

  I sighed heavily as the taxi pulled up to Kevin’s condo. It was a clean, gated community with streetlights on every corner and neatly manicured hedges along the building. It was the place he and Elyse had picked out together to live in after they were married. Obviously, that never happened, but Kevin still remained.

  Each of the buildings had been divided into eight units, with four on top and four on the bottom. A communal stairwell stood and the front and back of each, brightly lit inside a hallway corridor. When I looked up at the second-floor landing there was a pungent, evil aura surrounding it I could sense from a block away. That’s demonic energy alright.

  The lights were on inside, so at least I knew he’d be home. I was nervous for him after my discussion with Elyse and came over at fast as I could.

  The driver pulled to a stop and I paid him for his service before letting myself outside. I wasn’t sure what Kevin would think of seeing me after all this time, but Elyse said he needed my help. Seeing his place like this I absolutely agreed with her. Swirls of black mist surrounded the building outside and made the air thick and hard to breathe. The last time I saw him was at Elyse’s funeral, though Dad said he’d come by the house a couple of times since then. It was in the darkest moment of his life and marked his soul with anguish.

  I walked down the hall between the buildings and knocked on the door. A few minutes later I could hear him unlocking it on the other side and the door swung open. Kevin stood there, leaning up against the frame, looking like he’d just been given a life sentence. He was completely unshaven and had deep under-eye circles. I’d never seen him in such bad shape. His clothes were a mess and his aura was dull and muddy.

  It took a minute for him to register who I was and then a look of surprise washed over him. “Wynn!”

  I sighed and took in the mess of my almost brother in-law. “Oh God, what have they done to you?”

  The entire place reeked of alcohol and the living room was a pigsty. I never expected it to be this bad. There was heavy water damage on the walls and ceiling with patches of black mold. I couldn’t see an inch of countertop that wasn’t covered in dirty dishes or moldy food. It was disgusting. I should have listened to Elyse when she first told me he was in trouble, back when I was still in Tuscaloosa. She said that I should check on him and that he wasn’t doing well—maybe if I had he wouldn’t have gone down such a dark and lonely path. It made me feel sick inside to see him like that. He shouldn’t be wallowing this long after Elyse’s passing, he should be in school.

  He should have moved on.

  “Does your dad know that you’re here,” he asked me nervously. “Last I heard you had disappeared. Everyone was worried and looking for you.”

  I nodded, glancing past him into the living room. “That’s true, I did. Last I saw you were throwing your life away, now let me in.”

  He opened the door for me and waved me inside the apartment. I stepped in cautiously and crinkled my nose at the moldy smell coming from somewhere down the hall. “I, uh … didn’t expect to hear from you,” he mumbled sheepishly. “Can I get you anything?”

  My eyes flickered towards the kitchen at the pot of coffee being brewed. “Is that safe to drink?”

  “The coffee? Yeah, it’s safe. Do you want me to get you some?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He moved around the kitchen, stepping over the mess with great effort, and mixed the drink with cream and sugar. When he came back and sat down next to me on the couch he had a mug of it in each hand and a forced smile on his face.

  Kevin and I sat across from each other in his living room, an awkward silence filling the stale air around us. I glanced around the apartment whenever I could, but had to do it in doses because the weight of sorrow and depression was heavy on the space around us. There was a framed picture of him and Elyse on the mantle, back when they were happy and in love. It made me sad having that reminder so prominent in the center of his living space.

  “So, where have you been?” he asked me casually.

  I clicked my tongue in thought and looked down at my hands before responding. “That’s a long story. I’ll tell you all about it sometime. What I’m worried about is you. What happened?”

  The last time I saw Kevin before Elyse died, he was one of the most well-groomed and clean-cut guys I knew. He cared deeply about other people and studied hard so he could be a Thoracic Surgeon and save countless lives. Kevin sighed. “I just haven’t been the same since the funeral.”

  “Yeah, hon, that was two years ago.”

  “My schoolwork started failing. I ended up dropping out of med school. My parents were furious so they cut me off – it’s been a rough year.”

  I swallowed hard while listening to his story. I could relate to it. I remembered the darkness that overwhelmed me the summer after losing Elyse, before I had a reason to keep going. The air in the room was thick and stagnant, I could sense the demon lurking in the shadows nearby. As covertly as could be managed, I glanced around the room and found the darkened silhouette of a tween girl scowling at me.

  Hello, there, I grinned to myself, pleased. Now I know where she is at least.

  Glancing away, I quickly diverted my eyes so it wouldn’t seem suspicious.

  “You’re nothing,” a nasally feminine voice accused. “Elyse would have been better off without you; the world would be better off without you.”

  I swallowed hard and told him, “You know, the world needs you. I need you. You have such potential to bring light and goodness to the world. You can’t give up now.”

  “She lies!” the demon hissed. “The girl would say anything at this point. You’ve heard all this before, it’s empty platitudes and broken promises in the e
nd.”

  I gritted my teeth and tried not to look at the leeching siren.

  How dare she speak to him that way. Kevin was the kindest and most loving man I knew – the world needed him – the world needed a lot more men like him.

  I shook my head and felt tears pricking at my eyes. “Kevin, I love you. You’re part of our family, even though Elyse is gone. And I know it’s hard to hear or believe, but I am a better person for knowing you. You have brightened our lives and shown me what true love looks like. I don’t want to see you sad like this. If you want to blame someone for Elyse’s death, blame me. She died protecting me. I miss her too, but don’t make me lose you as well. You’re every bit as much a brother to me as Nate. I didn’t know that you were struggling, I was selfish and went away to school so I didn’t see it. But I’m here now and I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself like this.”

  “Wait till she leaves … they always leave, then you can see how they really feel about you. Worthless, pathetic waste of human life. You want it to be over.”

  As she spoke, his eyes went glassy. He could hear the vicious lies the siren was telling him. His aura barely moved, but sifted darker into a dull gray mud as she fed on his depression. With Elyse gone and nothing in his career to keep him motivated, I could see why he was an easy target.

  “Kevin, I know you’re hurting, I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, but she’s gone. That doesn’t mean you can give up. You’ve got to keep fighting. When my Uncle Garrett died, it changed mom forever. I’m not sure she ever got over it. When Elyse’s mom died, my dad took it really hard – he still can’t talk about it. He kept it secret because it hurt too much to talk about. I'm not saying you should forget about Elyse; I hope you never do, but please don't let it ruin you. You’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know. She wouldn't want you to be sad like this forever. You've got to allow yourself to love again. Go back to medical school, become the best thoracic surgeon in the world and save countless lives. That's how you can honor her. It's time to move on.”

  Kevin sniffed as he held back tears and told me, “Elyse was the love of my life, how can I ever be ‘sane ’again?”

  “Caleb was mine,” I responded quietly. “And I watched that slip away through my fingers. We have to keep breathing, Kevin. Sometimes, that’s the hardest part of living right now, but it’s true. Elyse loved you so much and she wouldn’t want you to live like this.” I thought back to the horrors of hell, of being tortured in my cell and my voice broke. “I know there are days when I can barely get out of bed in the morning, but I do it. I do it for her.”

  My voice cracked and I realized how true that was –I wasn’t just speaking to him, but to myself. Kevin nodded, though his expression was confused. “It’s been a rough year for both of us. I didn’t even realize you had someone in your life like that.”

  “Had,” I repeated with emphasis. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

  “It’s different for you, Caleb is still alive. You’re giving up. Don’t give up, go after him. If losing Elyse has taught me anything it’s to enjoy life while you have it.”

  I laughed slightly and said, “Don’t worry, I will. I’m not that self-sacrificing. I have to throw my hat into the ring. If he rejects me then at least I tried. You can’t give up either.”

  The siren snarled at me in the darkness and his aura lightened slightly. It gave me hope to see that my words were really affecting him. It was visible in the way his countenance lightened and the hue of his aura shined a little bit brighter.

  “Kevin, I know you can be happy again. You can start over, all you have to do it want it. All you have to do is try.”

  I watched as his aura lightened slightly and the demon launched itself from the shadows, attacking me. She struck me repeatedly with her fist and then wrapped her hands around my neck, trying to strangle me. “You meddling beast! How dare you try and take this prize from me!”

  Kevin jumped back in alarm and stared at the wall. “Wynn, what the hell is happening?”

  Her breath smelled of fish and tepid water breathing down on me, and I almost gagged; it was awful. My training went into effect as the creature snarled at me with black, soulless eyes. In a fluid motion, I ducked underneath her arm, and turned to flip her across my back and launch her flying across the room.

  “BLECH!”

  The siren shrieked again and rebounded off the wall, turning back to face me. Her wet, stringy black hair was plastered down across her neck and shoulders, where a pair of neck gills were embedded deep inside her jugular. The ground beneath her left a pool of water every step she took, as we circled around each other.

  “What do you care about the mortal?” she demanded angrily. “You watched your own sister die!”

  “Be careful what you say about my sister,” I spat back instantly. “It won’t end well for you. Go ahead and slink back to whatever pond you came from and leave this man alone.”

  “What is that?” Kevin shouted at me in horror.

  I exhaled a tried sigh and said, “It’s a demon that’s been leeching off your sadness. She wants you to think your life is over so she can take your place in the Mortal Realm. Don’t let her win, Kevin. Show her that you’re strong enough to fight this.”

  Before he could speak, the siren pounced on him and brought both of them crashing to the ground. Her hands were around his neck as she strangled him, trying to choke the life out of his body. I rushed over to pull her off him as the black vortex opened up inside her mouth and started drinking in his dark aura and the pure sadness that enveloped him.

  I wrapped my arm around her neck and pulled her back with all my might. As the siren struggled against me, a brilliant white light filtered in from out of nowhere, with the silhouette of a Messenger angel. Elyse was shining like the brightest star, with tears in her eyes she smiled at Kevin shaking in the corner. Her blonde curls hung down across her shoulders with a pearl comb woven gracefully behind one ear.

  “E-elyse?”

  She smiled at him from the swirling mist of her angelic aura and said, “Kevin, it’s time for you to leave this behind. This isn’t the man I fell in love with. Holding onto sorrow is slowly killing you, don’t let that be your legacy.”

  Tears streamed down his face as he reached out to her in longing, radiating light and love from beyond the veil. “Please, don’t go.”

  “I’ll be watching over you,” she promised with a smile. “Just remember that you’re not alone.”

  “I will.”

  The siren shrieked from where I held her and started melting to a black and oily liquid. In one last effort to survive, she turned her power to me and my hands began to shake. All the feelings of inadequacy, the hopelessness of not being able to protect my family, losing Caleb, came crashing down on me. There was no point in fighting, no point in waging a fruitless battle that we couldn’t possibly hope to win – I was a failure.

  Tears streamed down my cheeks and I breathed heavily, fighting against the weight of the world that was closing in around me. Caleb would never forgive me, I was hideous to him now after leaving him that Christmas. I didn’t deserve his love for me, I didn’t deserve a second chance – I’d ruined him by pulling him away from the angelic order.

  That evil whispering in my subconscious fanned the flames of my deepest fears and brought them front and center until I could think about nothing else. I shook with rage as the heaving convulsions of my chest broke into gasping sobs. Kevin watched me struggling, he saw my pain and knew that I felt the same. I didn’t hide it from him, because I wanted him to see.

  He had to know he was not alone.

  Elyse watched us each struggling with our own personal hells and her expression was sad but encouraging. Eventually, I became too crippled by the weight of my own sadness to care about the glamour anymore. The fleshy skin of my human illusion faded until it was gone completely and all that was left was my demon self.

  Kevin saw that too, but he didn’t sh
y away from it like I expected him too. He knelt on the ground beside me as the siren melted into a black and viscous goo and disappeared forever.

  I offered him a weak smile, supporting his weight on my shoulder. He looked back at me and I let my hand begin to shake. Painful, cutting tremors started racking my body and I convulsed slightly. Sweat broke out across my forehead as I struggled to regain control and not think about it. Thinking about it gave the urges power over me. The room swayed and I had to breathe heavily through my mouth, panting to keep from falling over.

  “Goodbye, Kevin,” Elyse told him. “Now that you’re safe, I hope you can find peace. I hope you love again.”

  The shining portal my sister came through shuddered and then faded away with her inside it. Kevin and I were left alone in the dank apartment, without the siren, and without angelic guidance. The pain still rocked through my body like a tidal wave and I struggled to maintain balance.

  Kevin looked down at me alarmed and asked, “Wynn, are you okay?”

  Voices called out to me in my head, screaming my name and urging me back into the darkness.

  My lips were chapped and I was not doing well, I could barely tell which end of the room was up when the sensation came upon me. I stumbled on the words when I spoke and leaned myself up against the wall to continue. “No,” I told him honestly. “I’m not okay.”

  Another jolt of searing pain shot through my spine and I clutched my hand to keep it from shaking as I headed for the door. It was the conditioning from my training when I was down in the realms below. I was addicted to the magic and negative energy that flowed through me when I was down there. I’d been away from it for too long and the withdrawal was setting in.

  “What’s happening?” he asked me urgently. “How can I help?”

  I shook my head and smiled, patting him gently on the knee. “There are a lot of things that you don’t know about,” I started slowly. “About me, about our family. I’m sorry this happened to you, but I’m not afraid to show my scars anymore. We’re both hurting, and now you can see that, and me, for what I really am.”