Give and Take (Ties That Bind Book 1)

by Claire Cullen

  “What if it makes it worse? I mean, the other officers are okay. What if they turn against me?”

  “I’ll make sure this doesn’t come back on you, I promise.” Sam had no intention of letting Drew be subjected to that kind of treatment again. Not even if he had to take Drew out of their custody and guard him himself.

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. This should never have happened. You’re here to be protected, not broken.” He reached a hand over and covered Drew’s.

  “Want to watch a movie?” Drew asked. “I think there’s something action-y with lots of guns.”

  “Sounds just the sort of thing we need to unwind.”

  Sam took the couch, assuming Drew would take the chair like he normally did. Instead, Drew settled next to him. After a few glances, he slid closer, until his body was pressed against Sam. Sam wrapped an arm around him and let him cuddle closer, feeling how relaxed Drew was, his head resting against Sam’s chest.

  “Why did you come even though I told you we should break things off?”

  He’d been waiting for that question, knowing Drew would get around to asking it, eventually.

  “I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. I thought it would be easy, but it wasn’t. I needed to know that you were okay.”

  “And then I wasn’t. Again.”

  “You will be. You’re strong and you’re not alone.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Drew was close to tears on the fourth day when he realized Sam was only going to be there for two weeks and they were almost halfway through. That day he sat down and documented everything he could remember about life under Morton’s rule. Sam read through it afterward, his face grim.

  “This won’t happen again, I promise.”

  Drew knew he could hold Sam to that. He was not a person who broke promises.

  Sam would be going home for the weekend, so Friday was their last day together. Drew made breakfast, which seemed make Sam happy, before they took turns with the exercise bike and weights. Even after only a few days, he was feeling stronger; physically, mentally, emotionally. Sam had dragged him unwillingly from his haze of existence to a life he recognized. Together, they drew up a timetable and stuck it to the wall, so whoever was in with him would know. Sam had promised to have a word with the officer on over the weekend so they’d help keep Drew on track.

  They kept their goodbyes short on Saturday morning and, for Drew, the rest of the weekend dragged. He stuck to the timetable, helped by Paul who seemed only too happy to exercise with him, setting him small challenges to try to beat.

  He was already up and dressed on Monday morning, ready for when the shift changed over and Sam returned. Only the hour passed and there was no sign of Sam. Paul seemed to have known about the delay and wasn’t worried so Drew tried not to worry either. It was hard to stop the doubt creeping in. Like maybe Sam had changed his mind about staying given the state he’d found Drew in.

  But just before midday, Paul slipped out the door and a few minutes later, Sam came inside.

  “How was your weekend?” he asked Drew.

  Drew knew he’d already got a handover from Paul, but answered readily. “It was good. We kept to the timetable, and I got two good nights of sleep. How was yours?”

  “I’m glad you slept. My weekend was fine. I went to visit Matt.”

  “How is he?”

  “He’s had a small setback, nothing major, but he was already anxious about the discharge so it didn’t help.”

  As Sam spoke, he set two bags down on the table and started to unpack some groceries. “I just got a few bits and pieces. Less junk food, more healthy stuff.”

  Drew moved to help him, reaching into the bottom of the bag, his hands closing around a small square box. He pulled it out and stared at it bemusedly, turning to find Sam’s face reddening as he took the box of condoms from Drew’s hand and stuffed it back into the bag.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t- you weren’t supposed to see-”

  Drew picked up a carton of milk and put that away instead, Sam’s babbling petering off behind him. What did it mean? Did it mean anything? He stole a look at Sam over his shoulder to find Sam watching him.

  He turned around, leaning his back against the fridge door, and rubbing his thumb over and back across his lower lip.

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I’m not trying to pressure you.” Sam looked stricken.

  Drew let his hands fall to his sides, shrugging. “I didn’t think you’d want to. I was such a mess when you found me. It seems like I’m always a mess and you’re always having to pick me up and put me back together.”

  “It’s not like that,” Sam protested, stepping closer. “It’s just the one mess, the Russell thing. Before that, you had a pretty uneventful life.”

  “I guess I did,” Drew replied, folding his arms. “It seems like so long ago now. You’re not disgusted by me? I must seem so… pitiful, that I can’t even take care of myself when I’m under armed protection.”

  “People like Morton are supposed to protect you, you’re not supposed to need to keep yourself safe from them. And anyway, I passed on your account and my own. The head of the department is reviewing the information and the apartment cameras and sensors. I spoke to Cora as well, and she’s going to put some pressure on them too. We’ll hear back in a day or two.”

  “So, you’re not disgusted by me?”

  Sam took a step closer, reaching out to tug Drew’s chin up. “Nope.”

  “And you don’t pity me?”

  He chucked Drew lightly under the chin with his finger. “Nu-uh.”

  “And you didn’t bring the condoms for a water balloon fight?”

  Sam pitched forward suddenly, his head on Drew’s shoulder. Alarmed, Drew wrapped arms around him, feeling Sam shaking beneath him.

  “Sam?”

  Sam lifted his head, tears streaming from his eyes as he laughed. “Sorry,” he spoke with difficulty. “Just picturing Morton getting hit in the face with a condom-shaped water balloon.”

  He calmed down but stayed pressed to Drew. “I got tested as well, just in case. But if we’re going to be intimate, we should use the condoms until we get you tested too. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s just nice to have options.”

  “There’s lots I want to do. With you, that is. But if Morton does come back, I am totally using that water balloon idea.”

  Sam chuckled, using steady fingers to turn Drew’s head to the side so they could kiss. The angle was awkward, he was conscious of how dry his lips were and how his hands were sweating, but all that fell away when Sam’s lips found his. Leaning forward, he cupped a hand to Sam’s cheek, feeling the coarse stubble under his fingers. Sam slipped a hand behind Drew’s head, fingers tangling in his hair and deepened the kiss, teasing the edge of Drew’s mouth with his tongue. Drew’s tongue found his, tasting him, and Drew forgot about anything but that moment, that touch…

  Air, he’d forgotten about air. They pulled apart, both breathless, lips red, cheeks flushed. Drew grinned. “I think we might have better uses for those condoms after all.”

  “Uh-huh,” was all Sam said, as his hands tangled in Drew’s shirt. Before Drew knew what was happening, Sam was unbuttoning him, revealing inch after inch of his chest and stomach.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Exploring.”

  “The cameras…”

  “Are on the front door, and the entrance to the corridor leading to the bedrooms. There’s no one watching us.” Sam wasn’t going to be easily dissuaded, opening Drew’s shirt wide, leaving him exposed to the air and to Sam’s mouth and tongue. Sam started at his collar bone, pressing kisses along it before trailing a line along his sternum. He settled on his knees in front of Drew, his hands either side of Drew’s waist and began to layer kisses across his stomach, drawing gasps and moans from him. He bit his lips to keep quiet, conscious they didn’t
want to attract the attention of those on duty outside.

  Sam looked up at him, grinning wickedly as his hands moved to the snap of Drew’s jeans, undoing it, pulling down the zip, and easy the material apart.

  “Sam, wait.”

  Sam stopped, his hands falling to his sides, his expression serious. “Am I moving too fast?”

  “No, just, the noise.”

  Sam canted his head to the side. “Okay. Just put your hand over your mouth if you need to. The walls aren’t that thin.”

  With that, he turned back to his work, drawing Drew’s jeans down a few inches, before tugging his boxers down after them. Drew groaned again as the cool air hit him. He was already starting to harden and just the touch of Sam’s callused hand across his skin was enough to get him going. Sam dipped his hand under, fingers just brushing Drew’s balls and he let out a low moan, clamping one hand over his mouth as he desperately tried to keep still.

  Sam leaned in, nuzzling his nose against Drew’s root.

  “You smell so good, I need a little taste,” Sam murmured, his hand wrapping around Drew firmly and guiding his tip towards his mouth. His tongue flicked out, barely touching him, and Drew murmured with disappointment.

  “You’re right,” Sam said, “I need more of a taste than that.” Turning his head, he licked a long line up along Drew’s shaft, Drew shuddering as pleasure and heat surged through him.

  “Better,” Sam said, “but still not enough. I wonder…”

  He wriggled closer, opening his mouth and taking just the tip of Drew inside. Drew clamped a hand over his mouth to hide his moan as Sam took more of him in, seeming no stranger to the action. His tongue dragged along the underside and Drew knew he was in danger of coming. Reaching down, he tapped Sam’s shoulder urgently. Sam pulled his mouth away, his hand clamping a little tighter around Drew.

  “Close, huh?” he asked.

  Drew could only nod, and Sam stood, reaching for him and drawing him in. His hand snaked between them, coarse fingers wrapping around Drew and stroking firmly.

  “Sam, I…” He moaned, forgetting what he was going to say.

  “Just like that,” Sam said, before pressing his mouth against Drew’s neck, sucking hard on the skin. It was too much, Sam’s hand, Sam’s mouth, and he came with a jerk and a soft cry.

  Sam’s arms tightened around him, holding him up, as he let the waves of pleasure roll over him.

  Afterward, Sam left him propped up against the fridge while he wet some paper towels and cleaned him off.

  “We should probably finish packing this stuff away,” Sam said. Drew pushed away from the fridge, reaching into the bag and pulling out the box of condoms and, after another minute of rooting, a tube of lubricant. He gave Sam a significant look but didn’t speak, turning and walking out into the corridor and slipping into his room.

  Taking a seat on the bed, he waited. It wasn’t long at all before the door creaked open and Sam stepped inside. He closed it firmly behind him.

  “The timetable says we should be exercising right now.”

  Drew tossed the condoms to him with a grin and Sam caught them neatly.

  “So, let’s work out.”

  They talked first, because that was how Sam liked to do it, the first time anyway. About positions, preferences, what would have Drew panting under his hands and begging for more. He insisted they be face to face, wanting to see every expression on Drew’s face. At first, he thought Drew was going to argue but all he did was smile, happy if a little bewildered.

  Sam undressed Drew again, taking his time, kissing each limb as he freed it from the restrictive clothing. Then Drew reached for his T-shirt and Sam helped him draw it over his head. His pants were next, then his boxers, and Drew was just looking at him, hands stroking careful lines across his skin. He’d seen it all before, in Diego’s place, but with the hypothermia, Sam suspected most of his attention had been on the heat between them. Sam didn’t have many scars, but Drew’s hands found them, fingers caressing the rough, puckered skin. He didn’t ask and Sam was grateful. It was a conversation for another time. Another place.

  When Drew had finished exploring, Sam rolled him onto his back and knelt between his legs. He reached for the discarded bottle, quickly coating his fingers. Wide-eyed, Drew bent his knees and spread his thighs. Sam leaned over, bracing himself on one hand as the other slipped between Drew’s legs. Drew held his gaze, gasping as Sam’s first finger pressed inside. Gasping became moaning and squirming as a second finger breached him, then a third. He pumped his fingers in and out slowly, changing the angle, seeing if he could… there. Drew’s back arched, his head thrown back as he moaned loudly. Belatedly, he clapped a hand over his mouth.

  “You like that, huh?”

  “Fuck, yes,” Drew said, pushing against his hand.

  Sam suspected there was something else he’d like even more. Slipping his fingers free, he reached for the condoms with his other hand but Drew got to them first, fingers nimbly pulling out a package, tearing it open, and holding it in one hand. His free hand found Sam, stroking his length, his hands soft and smooth, a contrast to his own callused palms.

  His body jumped to attention within seconds of Drew’s firm touch and Drew neatly slipped the cover on, continuing to stroke Sam with his hand. He wiggled a little to get Sam’s attention. As if Sam’s focus could be anywhere else.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me on my hands and knees?” He wiggled again and Sam had to swallow hard at the image.

  “There’ll be plenty of time for that.”

  Drew huffed and Sam got the impression the other man thought he was going to go easy on him. Not a chance. He lifted Drew’s legs, helping him wrap them firmly around his waist, and leaned forward, guiding himself into Drew. Drew’s legs tightened around him as his eyes widened and the grin slowly fell from his face, his eyes on Sam’s.

  Drew felt tight but his body yielded slowly to the constant pressure of Sam pushing forward. Once he was in, he held fast, giving Drew a moment to catch his breath. Drew’s body tightened around him as Sam braced himself with his hands either side of Drew’s upper body. The position put them face to face, and Drew lifted his head, closing the distance between them to bring their lips together in a kiss before settling back on the bed.

  Pulling out until just the tip of his cock was inside Drew, Sam paused for a moment. Then, just when Drew was about to squirm with frustration, he thrust back inside in one smooth motion. Drew grunted, his legs tightening around Sam once more.

  “Like that, Sam. Just like that.”

  His words spurred Sam on, and he kept up a steady pace of thrusts, keeping his weight on his arms, Drew’s hands rubbing up and down his back. Sam lowered himself so he and Drew were nearly chest to chest, ducking his head into the hollow of Drew’s neck and pressing kisses against the soft skin there.

  Drew flexed his hips, drawing Sam’s attention back to the matter at hand, and changing the angle of his thrusts. On the next push of his body into Drew’s, Drew’s eyes went wide and he cried out, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle himself. Sam knew he had found his mark and worked hard to hit it again, and again, feeling Drew’s body tighten and spasm around him.

  “Yes, Sam. Yes, yes.” Drew kept up a constant murmured litany as Sam grew closer and closer to the edge. Drew’s cock lay between them, hard and hot, and Drew pleaded with him as Sam’s hand found it, stroking in time with his thrusts.

  Drew came first, his cry muffled, his head turned to the side. His body tightened around Sam, carrying him over the edge a moment later as white hot pleasure surged through him. As the orgasm washed over him, Sam let his body sink to lie on top of Drew, chest to chest, feeling Drew shuddering underneath him. They lay like that, getting their breath back, their bodies warm and glistening with sweat and come.

  Sam slipped out of Drew and eased Drew’s legs back down onto the bed before rolling off him so they lay side by side.

  Drew’s hand found his face, caressing it
lightly.

  “That was a good work out,” he joked, still a little out of breath.

  “I don’t know,” Sam threw back. “I think we could stand to do a little more practice.”

  Drew rolled onto his side, his body curling around Sam. “Cuddle first, practice later.”

  Tugging Drew closer, he nodded against him. “Sounds good to me.”

  He drifted off into a light sleep, waking only when his body started to complain about being both cold and sticky.

  It took a bit more effort to wake Drew, who was curled tightly against him, leaching warmth.

  “Hey, how about a nice hot shower?”

  “Only if it comes with my own personal shower attendant trained in hypothermia prevention.”

  Sam grinned. “I think that could be arranged.”

  Showering took twice as long as it should have, between kissing and exploring each other’s bodies. Drew’s hands found his scars again and Sam knew he’d be fielding questions over the next few days. Drew didn’t seem turned off by them. If anything, it was the opposite, as light fingers stroked them and his lips pressed careful kisses against them.

  Before they got out, Drew stopped Sam, turning him so they were face to face.

  “If you ever want to talk about…” His hand found a scar, brushing it lightly, “I’ll listen.”

  Sam nodded, taking Drew’s hand in his and pressing a kiss to the back of it. They had time. Maybe not a lot, but enough.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Two days and many more work outs later, Sam was called out for a meeting. Drew watched him go with trepidation, worrying that it meant he wasn’t coming back. An hour became two, then three. Lunchtime came and went and he ate despite his stomach being in knots.

  It was almost three in the afternoon when the door finally opened. He half-expected it to be Morton, rushing in like a bull in a china shop.

  A head of dark hair greeted him and he relaxed as the familiar figure of Sam stepped inside. He was on his feet and across the room in an instant.