Give and Take (Ties That Bind Book 1)

by Claire Cullen

  He knelt in front of Sam again, resting hands on his knees. “We can do this, Sam. Together. That’s what relationships are, give and take. Let me be here for you, please.”

  Before he’d even finished the sentence, Sam had him in a bear hug. “I missed you.”

  “Missed you, too.”

  Within a day or two, Drew realized he was far from alone in his efforts to keep Sam afloat. Dropping him to work that first day, he wound exchanging numbers with Sam’s team leader, Tom, who text him Sam’s shifts for the week and asked Drew to figure out what days Sam would be at the hospital.

  Drew returned to the hospital that evening, bringing some food in for Molly who he’d met only briefly as they passed the waiting baton. She seemed grateful for the food and the company and was happy to pass on the timetable the family had drawn up. Drew sent it on to Tom, hoping it would do some good. He left as some of Theo’s friends arrived, knowing Molly was in good hands.

  After that, between Matt, Sam’s team, and Drew, there was a concerted effort to have someone with him whenever he kept vigil at the hospital. Drew stayed with him when he was there overnight, staying awake so Sam could get some sleep.

  Theo’s condition remained stable and the doctor declared there was ‘room for optimism’ after reviewing his latest scans.

  The day to wake Theo up dawned bright and full of hope. Drew had stayed over in Sam’s apartment and they shared a bed, Drew convincing Sam that with both their phones on the loudest setting, they couldn’t miss a call if one came.

  Sam’s father and sister joined them in the waiting room, and throughout the day, different people came and went, checking how he was getting on. As the day wore on, there was no news. A little after seven, Sam’s dad and Molly went for a walk to stretch their legs. They’d been gone fifteen minutes when a nurse came in search of the family.

  “Theo’s awake,” she said. “Would you like to go in and see him?”

  Sam got on the phone to his dad, and they turned back towards the hospital.

  “I should go in. If he’s awake, I don’t want him to be alone.” He turned to Drew. “Will you come with me? I don’t want to do this by myself.”

  “Of course.”

  They walked in side by side, and Drew could feel Sam practically vibrating with tension. He was afraid of what he’d find. Was this the brother he knew and loved, who’d he taken such care of when they were small? Or had he lost something, was he different, changed? Could he speak, move, remember who Sam was?

  As they got to the end of the bed, Drew grabbed Sam’s hand, squeezing tightly before letting go. He stayed by the nurse at the end of the bed, watching as Sam took a seat next to Theo and took his hand.

  “Theo? It’s Sam.”

  His brother’s eyes opened and he turned his head, smiling when he saw Sam.

  “Sammy, you’re here.”

  “Where else would I be?”

  “I did something stupid, didn’t I?”

  “If you mean you went after a puck with your head instead of your stick, then yeah. What do you remember?”

  Theo made a face. “Uh, playing with the guys. It was getting late. I took my helmet off and… aw crap, it’s all a blur after that. How long have I been out?”

  As he lay there, he squirmed, moving his toes under the sheets. Sam saw, his eyes taking in everything.

  “A while, Theo. You took a really bad blow to your head and they had to keep you under to let it heal. Nine days.”

  “Nine days? Did I miss my midterms?”

  “You can make it up. It could be another while before you’re up and about.”

  “Did I do any other damage?” Theo’s attention turned to his body, moving his hands and legs. “Everything feels okay.”

  “It was just your head. Now that you’re awake, they’ll do tests and make sure it’s all in working order.”

  Sam reached out, setting a hand on Theo’s shoulder, his composure slipping for a second.

  “Sam? Hey-”

  “Sorry, Theo. It’s just, we’ve been so worried. Having you here, up and talking.” He shook his head, lost for words.

  Theo set a hand over his, patting gently. “I’m really glad to be here. And to see you.”

  He glanced down at Drew curiously, then at the nurse, before leaning over to whisper in Sam’s ear. Drew couldn’t think what they’d be whispering about until Theo spoke a moment later.

  “Drew! It’s so good to see you. Aren’t you going to come up here and say hi? Long time no see, cousin.”

  Drew stepped up to the head of the bed, eying Theo with concern. They’d never met. He’d have remembered that. Theo tugged him in as if for a hug and whispered in his ear. “Nice to meet you, Drew. I didn’t want the nurse to kick you out when they realized I had no idea who you were. So you get the long lost cousin treatment.”

  Drew grinned. “It’s nice to meet you too, Theo. I’m so glad you’re awake and talking. Sam’s told me a lot about you.”

  Theo let go and Drew straightened up.

  “Dad and Molly are here, we’ll go let them in okay?” Sam said.

  “Sure,” Theo replied, yawning loudly. “Maybe tell them to hurry. I think they’ve got me on the good stuff, I’m not sure I’ll be awake much longer.”

  They stepped out, speaking briefly with Molly, Sam’s dad, and a few of Theo’s friends in the waiting room, passing on the good news.

  Drew, feeling the tension in Sam, his body still vibrating with energy, wrestled him into the family room and closed the door. Sam’s face crumpled as he sank onto the bed.

  “He’s okay.” He looked up at Drew, his eyes bright with tears. “He’s okay.”

  “Yeah, he is. He’s okay.”

  Sitting down next to him, he wrapped arms around Sam and just held him while he let out all the fear and pain of the previous week.

  Afterward, they took a walk through the hospital, down to the chapel, sitting side by side. Neither of them were religious, but there was something about the quiet, meditative feeling of the place that Drew liked. There was a purity of thought, of hope, that came with such silence.

  Later, they took a stroll outside, enjoying the cool breeze and the clear night’s sky with its scattering of stars.

  Drew stopped Sam and gestured upward.

  “Do you want to make a wish?”

  Sam’s hand found his cheek, urging his gaze away from the stars to meet his. He was shaking his head.

  “I don’t need to. Right here and now, I have everything I want.”

  Drew stepped closer, reaching for Sam, and they kissed.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  They climbed out of the cab and Sam paid the driver, turning to find Drew staring at the house in trepidation.

  “Not nervous, are you?” he asked.

  “Who, me? No. Besides, they’re your team. I like your team.”

  Of the two of them, Sam was probably the more nervous, but he was better at hiding it. Drew tended to show his emotions all too readily. It helped Sam read him better.

  “Come on, let’s not be late.”

  “I thought we were early.”

  “We were and then those works on Plaid Avenue delayed us.”

  They bickered good naturedly as they walked to the door. Sam rang the bell, hearing the sounds of people talking and laughing on the other side.

  Tom answered, a dishcloth thrown over his shoulder.

  “Gentlemen, you’re right on time. Come on out to the back.”

  They followed Tom through the house, saying a quick hello to his wife, Sandy, who was preparing the salad. Tom returned to the barbeque, nudging Warren out of the way.

  “I hope you like your meat well done,” he called over his shoulder while Warren muttered something about him being a perfectionist.

  They went to say hello to the rest of the team, who were spread out across the garden, some with their partners. Drew had met most of them before, the day they’d rescued him, and one time since, when he’d
joined them for drinks with Sam after work.

  Sam’s nerves abated after he went to grab them some drinks, coming back to find Drew and Warren thick as thieves discussing some new piece of tech. The discussion might as well have been in double Dutch for all the sense it made to him.

  Tom called him over and roped him into helping with the cooking.

  “Let the techies talk, Warren hardly ever gets the chance to speak with someone who actually knows what he’s talking about.”

  He could have said the same about Drew. Except for some online friends that he’d got back in contact with, Drew didn’t know a lot of people. Sam wouldn’t begrudge him a friend, even if that friend was his team mate.

  “How’s he settling in?” Tom asked.

  “Better than expected. There was a rough patch for a few weeks there, when the stress with Theo eased off and everything slowed down. But he’s got his consulting business up and running and he’s applied to college to start the next semester and finish his degree.”

  “That’s great. And how’s Theo doing?”

  “Bounced right back like nothing happened. The doctor says he was really lucky.”

  “You were due a bit of luck right about then.”

  “Maybe. I think it’s taught all of us not to take things for granted.”

  “And you Sam, how are you doing?”

  Tom turned to face him, reading his expression carefully. There was no need, Sam couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. He grinned. “I’m doing great, Tom. Really great.”

  Once Drew made the decision to come clean to Logan, Sam knew it would have to be all or nothing. Drew talked it over with both him and Matt, and they convinced him that it might be better to break it to him one piece at a time.

  Sam was the one to make contact with Logan and set up the video-link. All Drew needed to do was be there, and be truthful.

  He gave Drew some privacy in the apartment, knowing he was starting with the piece of information that was most important to him, the thing he had always feared would lose him his brother. If that was the case, Logan wasn’t the man Sam thought he was.

  When he returned, the laptop was off and Drew was sitting on his bed. When he pressed him about how it had went, Drew told him Logan was like a fish out of water at first, mouth opening and closing before he repeated Drew’s words back at him a few times and then ended the call.

  Drew was upset but not surprised and took the attitude of ‘at least now I know’.

  Only it wasn’t over. When Logan called back a day later, Sam stayed nearby, listening in to the conversation.

  “Did Dad know?”

  “What?” Drew glanced over the screen and met Sam’s eyes before turning back to his brother.

  “When we were kids, did Dad know?”

  “I think maybe he guessed.”

  “Damn it. I thought all that stuff was just macho crap. I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry, Drew. I keep thinking of all those terrible things that we said in front of you. That’s not me, that’s not who I am. It just kept Dad off my back if he thought I was ‘one of the boys’. I don’t expect you to forgive me, not right away, but maybe one day?”

  Drew stole another look at Sam, who nodded encouragingly. If Logan was willing to offer an olive branch, they were well on their way to mending things between them.

  Drew came clean about the gambling after that, and then Russell and the whole mess that followed. And, finally, he opened up about him and Sam. All in all, it took about six phone calls over two weeks.

  Sam was really proud of Drew for plowing through. And proud of Logan for stepping up to the plate as his big brother. Logan wasn’t so happy when he realized Sam and Matt had known about everything while it was actually happening, but found it hard to fault their reasoning for not keeping him in the loop.

  After that, there was radio silence for a while. Drew thought it was a bad sign, Sam thought Logan was just processing. It was a lot of information to have landed on you at once. And years of childhood memories to re-frame.

  Sam arrived home on Drew’s birthday with a cake, a six-pack, and a bag of Drew’s favorite coffee beans.

  Drew was working away on his laptop.

  “Got a new client today,” he called over his shoulder.

  Sam stepped up behind him, resting hands on his shoulders and leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek.

  “Congratulations. Does that mean there’s no time for cake?”

  “I’ll be finished in a minute,” Drew promised. Sam decided to keep him to that promise, lowering his head to press slow kisses along Drew’s neck. Drew groaned and twisted, giving Sam better access. “You’re not playing fair.”

  A while later, work put away, they sat on the couch eating cake.

  “Logan didn’t email,” Drew said in between bites. “He always emails on my birthday, or before, if he knows he won’t be free.”

  “Maybe something came up. Maybe he’ll send it later.”

  “He’s back home on leave. I think he just doesn’t want to talk. I thought, after everything, he would-”

  There was a knock on the door.

  “That’s Matt, he said he’d join us for cake.”

  “And we started without him,” Drew said, looking guilty.

  “He won’t mind,” Sam replied, wiping a smudge of chocolate from Drew’s lips.

  Sam padded to the door while Drew went to get another plate.

  He ushered the new arrivals in, a little surprised to see three people on his doorstep and not one.

  “Drew,” he called as he turned.

  Drew had stopped dead beside the table, setting down the plate in his hands.

  “Logan?”

  “Happy Birthday.”

  His brother was standing in the doorway, with Matt and a woman he distantly recognized as his brother’s girlfriend, Haley. It felt like an ambush.

  Drew glanced at Sam. “Did you know?”

  “No one knew,” Logan said quickly. “Not even Matt, we just met him outside. Drew, this is Haley. Haley, my brother Drew.”

  He’d seen one or two pictures but she wasn’t quite what he’d expected. She smiled warmly.

  “Hi, Drew. It’s nice to meet you. It’s partly my fault we’re here. I pushed Logan to come see you now that everything is out in the open.”

  He shouldn’t have been surprised that Logan had shared the fact that he was gay with his girlfriend, but he was. He’d thought his brother was ashamed.

  “Why don’t you all come in and sit down. We’ll have coffee and cake,” Sam said.

  Drew busied himself making the coffee, taking as long as he could, while Sam cut the cake and passed plates around.

  Finally, knowing he couldn’t dawdle any longer, he took a seat next to Sam.

  “I’m not sure I understand why you’re here,” he blurted out a moment later. Sam set a steadying hand on his arm.

  “You’re my brother, Drew. There’s been so much distance between us that didn’t need to be there. If only I’d looked a bit deeper, tried a bit harder. You were in real trouble and you felt you couldn’t come to me.” Logan sounded torn up about it, guilt heavy in his voice.

  “But I did come to you. And you got me to Sam, and Sam… Sam saved me.”

  “If I’d known, there’s so much more I could have done.”

  “That isn’t all on you. I kept a lot from you.”

  “I can’t blame you for that,” Logan said bitterly. “The kind of person you thought I was, you think I am…”

  “You did what you had to, to survive. Sam told me that joining the army was your escape, not your dream. I couldn’t see that because Dad was so proud of you and so happy to use that as a stick to beat me with.”

  Logan snorted. “Yeah, he left a lot to be desired as a father. But I didn’t come here to talk about him. For you and me, that’s a conversation for another day.” But one they needed to have, eventually. “I’m here to talk about family.”

  “But you just said…�
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  “Family being me and Haley. You and Sam,” he added with a smile.

  “I don’t follow-” he started to say. Sam squeezed his hand. “Hear him out, alright?”

  “Maybe this is something I should say?” Haley interrupted. “I’ve never had much by way of family. My parents died when I was a baby, I was raised by my great aunt and she passed away before I turned twenty. When it comes to family, for me, Logan is it. I’d been pushing him for years about mending fences with you. I just didn’t understand what the problem was. Now that you and he have started talking again, I’d really like to take the chance to get to know you, too.”

  It was then Drew noticed the ring on her finger.

  “You’re engaged?”

  She blushed and all but hid her hand as every eye turned to it. “As of this morning, he proposed in the arrival’s hall.”

  “Now that we’re starting a family of our own, Haley and I don’t want our children to grow up how she did or how we did. We think, we hope, we can do better. For their sake. For all of our sakes.”

  “When are you due?” Matt asked and Haley blushed again, her hand going to her stomach. “Logan had a week of leave in Germany four months ago, so I flew over to see him. I’m due at the end of June next year.”

  “Congratulations,” Matt replied and Sam echoed him.

  Sam nudged him but Drew couldn’t get a word out.

  There was an awkward silence before Haley spoke again. “I’m sorry, Drew. We shouldn’t have turned up like this and sprung this on you. Logan wanted to take it more slowly, but he’s only home for a few weeks and then back out again. By the time he comes back, the baby will be born…”

  Drew could see a hint of desperation, of loneliness, in her voice. And recalled Sam talking about his childhood, his Dad away, and his Mom trying to cope alone, with three kids and an illness that was eating away at her.

  “No, I’m really glad you’re here.” He had to force the words a little. They’d come more naturally with time, he was sure of that. “And I’m so happy for you both.”

  Haley broke into a smile, her hand holding Logan’s.

  “You’re going to be an uncle,” Logan said.