by Mary Smith
Nathan’s left hand creeps up my side and he cups my breast over the dress. I arch my body toward his touch. I unbutton a couple of buttons on his shirt. Placing my palm on his bare chest, I can feel his heart racing. He squeezes me tighter.
“We need more room,” I say breathlessly. “Want to go to the bedroom?”
Nathan nods and rises up on his knees. I kick off my heels onto the floor. His eyes fall between my legs and he has a clear view of my lace thong. I mirror his position. The vixen inside continues to work on his shirt. Our eyes are locked tight on each other. Together we get his shirt off.
“Come.” He stands, taking my hand, and leads me down the hallway.
I’ve been in his room before but this time I’m shaking with excitement. Nathan’s room has bright white walls decorated with superhero artwork. He has two nightstands on either side of his bed and one dresser. His bed is large like mine with a black and gray comforter.
“Turn around,” he softly says and I do. He pulls my long, black hair into a ponytail and sweeps it to the side. He kisses my exposed neck, sending a shiver down my spine. Nathan slowly unzips the dress. I have to remember to breathe as he pulls the straps down and the dress falls away from me.
“Is this okay?” he whispers in my ear.
“Yes.” He softly trails his fingertips up and down my arms, kissing my neck.
“May I turn around?” I don’t know why I ask permission, but he tells me yes. I listen to my vixen and face him.
His shirt is already gone, and I brazenly drop to my knees. I can hear his breath catch. My hands shake as I begin to work on his belt. Once undone I pop his button and unzip his pants. I really have no clue if I’m doing this correctly, but I hope I am. I pull his pants down, and he toes out of his shoes kicking it all away. Hooking my thumbs in his waistband, I watch his face. He plays with my hair as I remove his boxer briefs.
By no means have I never seen a penis. Well, never in real life. However, I have watched porn and seen a variety of them. But seeing Nathan’s for the first time brings a mix of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, and the hope I can do this.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want.”
I answer him by grasping his penis. He’s about six inches or so long but thicker than I had originally imagined him to be. I stroke him a few times before I lick my lips and slowly suck on his tip. He moans and digs his fingers in my hair.
I pull back, stroke him some more, lick my lips and suck him again. This time I go a little deeper. I don’t want to gag, and I’m careful not to as I continue my method.
“Suck harder.” He moans and I do. He pulls my hair tighter, and it seems to make me wetter.
I don’t know how long I can keep this up, but my jaw begins to ache, and I momentarily stop to catch my breath and then go back at it.
“Stop. Amara.” Nathan’s face is screwed up tight.
“Are you close?” I try to catch my breath.
“Yes.” He picks me up and puts me on my feet.
“Turn around.”
I do. It takes him a few seconds to get my bra off, but soon I toss it to the side. Nathan guides me to face him and then moves me toward the bed. Together we get my thong off.
“Lay down.”
Trying to keep my breaths even and slow is harder than I thought it would be. I’m naked in front of Nathan. I move myself to the center of the bed, laying my head on a pillow. He covers me with his hot body and kisses me. He works his way down my neck to my breast. He sucks my nipple on the left and slightly bites. I hiss from the delicious pain. He licks over to the right side doing the same thing.
“Nathan.” I run my hands through his hair.
He kisses and nips down my stomach. I know where he’s heading and I tense up.
“Do you want me to stop?” He glances up.
“I’m not sure.”
He comes back to my face. “I won’t then. Can I… um… just touch you then?”
“Yes.” I relax.
He comes up and lays on his side and rubs my thigh softly. I open my legs, biting down on my bottom lip. As he gets closer to my core, I stop breathing. He rubs his fingers up and down my slit, and I melt into his touch.
“Yes.” Finally, I breathe.
He circles my clit and I gasp.
“Feel good?”
“Yes.” I moan, and he continues the same motion. “Faster.” I tell him. He complies, and I pull on my nipples.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” He bites on my earlobe. “Do it again.” He watches as I twist them. “I’m going to put a finger inside you.”
“Okay.” I keep my eyes locked on his.
Keeping his thumb on my clit, he easily slides in a finger, then after a bit, he inserts another.
“Fuck.” I lift my hips. It hurts, but nothing I can’t handle. He keeps working his thumb and the tension fills me. “Faster.” I can feel I’m close to my release. I grab hold of the comforter with one hand and the other on his thigh. “Nathan,” I yell grinding against his hand.
“Come for me. Come, Amara.”
I like this Nathan. It turns me on more and helps me get the release I want. We’re both breathless. I moan out loudly and squeeze my legs around his hand.
We’re both breathless.
“Do you want to continue?”
I nod. “I do, but I might bleed. Grab a towel.”
“Okay.” He jumps out of the bed and heads to the bathroom.
When he leaves, I get up and pull the blankets down. He comes back and we lay out the towel. I position myself on my back.
“Ouch!” I yell. “My hair.” Nathan pulls my hair as he gets on top of me.
“Sorry. Sorry.” He quickly sits up.
“It’s okay.”
We maneuver again until he’s between my legs. “How do I do this?”
“Huh? Do I need to diagram it?”
“No.” He sounds nervous. “I mean should I just stick it in or go slow?”
“Oh… well…” I don’t know. “I think just stick it in.”
We both line up our hips. He rubs the tip of his penis against me and I try to relax. He starts to push in and I panic a bit.
“Go slow.” I blurt. “Go slow. It’ll hurt.”
“Okay.” He sounds as panicked as I am.
He continues to push and pull until we both feel the resistance.
“Now go hard.” My nails are digging into his bicep.
He grunts. Pulls back and then slams into me. I yelp and tears burn my eyes.
“I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
I have my eyes closed tight but the concern is clear in his tone. “Go slow until I tell you differently.” I beg.
“I promise.”
He begins to pull back and push in again. It hurts and burns, but I don’t want him to stop because I need to stretch out and get used to it.
“You look like you’re in pain.”
I open my eyes and realize he’s stopped moving.
“It hurts but not bad enough for you to stop.” I cup his face. “I’m okay. Keep going. Please.” I lift up and kiss his lips. My hips grind against him to give him encouragement to continue.
Finally, he does. Then he moves faster. I pull him down closer to me, and he puts his forehead on mine.
“Harder.” I all but beg and the pain slowly subsides.
Nathan moans and grunts, pushing more into me with force and speed. He’s clenching up tighter and I know he’s close. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. He gets louder saying my name over and over. Then he lets out my name at the loudest level and completely tightens up.
“Fuck.” He sits up a bit. “You didn’t finish.”
I giggle at his concern. “It’s okay. I enjoyed it.”
“And I hurt you.” He sadly adds.
“No… well, yes… but it was perfect. Now let’s clean up and see what else we can get into.” I kiss him and then hiss when he pulls out.
“Sorry.”
“Stop apol
ogizing. I’m fine.”
Nathan goes to the bathroom and comes back with a warm washcloth. He cleans me up and then grabs one of his t-shirts with a Captain America shield on it. He holds my hand as we make our way to the kitchen.
I can’t believe we actually did it. We’re no longer virgins. I had dreamt of this day for a long time, and even though I didn’t get off with him inside me, it was perfect.
We don’t talk much as we sip our water, but he’s holding me close to him.
He kisses my temple. “Let’s go back to bed.”
He guides me back to the bedroom where he already removed the towel. I slip into bed and he comes in behind me. With his arms around me, I’m encased in his warmth and feel safe.
Chapter Sixteen
Nathan
I wake up alone in my bed. I look around to see if she is just sitting on the side, but Amara is nowhere in the room. I’m still in my boxer briefs, and I slowly make my way to find her.
As I reach the end of the hallway, I can smell the breakfast. I stand and watch her moving about the kitchen. Her hair is up in one of her messy buns. She’s still in my Captain America t-shirt. There’s nothing sexier.
I carefully slip onto the bar stool and watch her finish up. When she turns around there’s a big smile on her face.
“You’re not quiet.” She informs me.
I chuckled. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”
She sets the plate down in front of me. “Coffee?”
“I can—”
“No, I’m up and I’ll get it.” She insists.
“Thank you,” I say as she pours a cup for me. “How did you sleep?’
“Amazingly.”
I watch her gently sit on the stool next to me. “Are you okay?”
“A little sore.”
“Really?” I grab her elbow and check her over.
“It’s fine. It happens.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I felt horrible. Maybe if I had more experience it would have been better for her.
“Hey.” She lays her hand over mine. “You didn’t hurt me. It couldn’t be helped. It’s what happens to a girl for her first time.” She leans over and kisses me. “I had an amazing time last night.”
“Me too.”
I really did. All through dinner, it was all I could think about. She and I had spent a lot of nights texting and I slowly liked her more and more. Until I fell in—
Buzz. Buzz.
“Are you expecting anyone?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
I go over and press the intercom button. “Hello?”
“It’s me. Open up.” Alden orders through the speaker.
I push the button to open the door and unlock the front door. When I turn around Amara is coming down the hall sliding into a pair of shorts.
“You’re as fast as the Flash.” I joke, sitting back down.
She giggles as Alden comes bounding in.
“Hello, all.” He announces himself.
“Hi, Aunt Amara. Hi, Nate.” Kace is running over to each of us, hugging our waists.
“Hey, Buddy. What are you doing?” Amara kisses the top of his head.
“I’m going to workout with Dad and Nate.”
I glance at Alden.
“Want to workout?” He smirks.
“Sure. I’ll get dressed.” I get up and get ready.
When I come back out Kace has eaten my breakfast. I smile at Amara, who hands me a bottle of water and two granola bars. It shows she cares about me too.
“I’ll make you something when you get back.”
I smile. “Thank you. Let’s go, guys.”
We all load up in Alden’s car and head over to the gym. Kace has a blast lifting the small weights. In between working my legs, I watch Alden showing Kace the correct form and stance. I hope someday I can do the same with my son.
My heart drops.
Amara can’t have children.
I’ll never have a son to teach how to skate or play in the park. I rub my chin thinking of all the aspects. The thoughts of being a father don’t cross my mind often, but today it does.
Am I okay with not having kids?
I stare longer at Alden and Kace. Alden isn’t his father by blood but loves Kace as if he was his own. I can see the love and respect coming from Kace’s face. He loves Alden as if he’s his real dad.
I can be like Alden. There are many kids who need good homes. Plus I’m twenty-two and still playing hockey. There’s a lot of time to think about this later. Right now, I want to spend more time with Amara. I want to experience everything with her.
As Kace runs off to get some water I go over to Alden. “Having fun?”
“Yes.” He grins. “Kace seems to be enjoying his time as well.”
“It does.” I take a deep breath. “May I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Does it bother you that Kace isn’t naturally yours?”
He stares at me for a second with a perplexed look. “Is this about my sister?”
“I’d like to talk to my friend and not my girlfriend’s brother.”
“I don’t know the difference.” He crosses his arms. “Spill it.”
I quickly rush out what I’m feeling right now. I feel worse saying the words out loud.
“Nathan, if you truly have these issues then you need to break up with Amara now before you two have sex and/or fall in love.”
I hang my head.
“Fuck. You had sex with her?”
“Last night.”
He groans.
“And I do love her.” I lift my head.
“If you love her as much as I love Baylor, then the kids part shouldn’t matter. But if it does – really does – then you need to think long and hard about this. You’ll have to leave her.”
Kace comes back ready to go into the weight room and one thing weighs on my mind.
Kids.
When I come back to the apartment, I find Amara on the couch… asleep. She looks peaceful curled up with her arms tucked under her chin. I kneel down next to her and just stare.
I love her.
Deep down I have since the night Alden made me have dinner with him and his family. Her kindness. Her smile. Her laugh. It all melts my heart. Kids won’t make or break us. It’ll be our love and respect for each other. I don’t know if she loves me. I can guess and say she does, but the words haven’t come up.
I cover her up and leave her be. I go to my room and change my bedding. I hate the clean sheets I put on don’t smell like Amara, but I hope it’ll change soon. I want her in my bed again. Having sex with her is an eye opener. She gave me the greatest gift and I gave her mine. I lay down on the bed and turn on my TV. I flip through the channels but end up on the PHL channel watching news updates. The draft is tomorrow and everyone is buzzing. I listen to their analysis of the upcoming draftees. Even though I’m twenty-two these kids look much younger than me even though there’s only a few years difference. Some of them seem faster and stronger. I’ve never had self-doubt until the day of my first professional hockey game. Then I realized how inexperienced I had been up to that point.
Now I have to be better than last season.
I close my eyes and try to push the thought of failure away. It’s hard. There’s a lot of great goalies out there the Bears can pick from. I know I’m good but there’s more to it. I broke three fingers last season, not to mention messing up the playoffs. It’s like a monkey on my back, and I need to get it off. I just need to get to training camp and prove to Coach Long and the staff I am worth it. They’ve gambled on me before and I believe I showed them I can do it. I just need to get there.
I hear an odd noise causing me to open my eyes. I listen and hear it again. It sounds like someone throwing up. I quickly get out of bed and go out into the hall.
“Nathan.” I hear Amara’s voice. It sounds far away.
I rush to the bathroom and see her hugging the toilet, throwing up. I
kneel down to her, pulling her hair back. “What’s wrong?”
“Call… Alden… now.” She’s struggling with her words and breathing. “Hurry.”
I run back to my bedroom to grab my phone. My hands shake as I find Alden in my contacts.
“Hey, Nate,” he answers.
“Get to my place now.” I practically scream and I tell him the code to the building.
“What’s wrong?” I can hear the panic in his voice.
“It’s Amara. She’s sick.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
He ends the call and I go back to Amara. She’s now in a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably. I pull her up and into my lap. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?’
“Hunmbdondoainurh.” She cries into my chest.
“Baby, I can’t understand you.” I try to make her look at me, but she won’t budge.
She cries harder, and I can’t get her to calm down. I kiss the top of her head, and I can feel her burning up. I think she may have a fever. Amara still won’t look up, so I continue to rock her with the hope she calms down.
Amara pushes off of me and begins to throw up again. I get a wet washcloth to help cool her down. She continues to cry and be sick. I feel helpless. I want to help her in some way, but I can’t do anything.
When she stops throwing up she leans back into my arms. Her body is still hot and now shaking. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong?”
“My worst nightmare.” She sobs.
I hear our front door open and Alden appears in the bathroom.
“What the hell?” He falls to his knees in front of her.
“Hospital.” Her breath is ragged. “It’s back.”
He takes her face in his hands. “What’s going on?” He’s firm with her.
“I think the cancer’s back.” Large tears stream down her cheeks faster.
“Nathan, pick her up. We’re going to the hospital.”
I do as he says and pick her up in my arms. She weighs nothing to me right now.
I sit in the backseat with her wrapped tightly against me. I don’t care if we get pulled over. Letting her go isn’t an option.
