by Mary Smith
We make it to the hospital in record time. Alden jumps out, bolting into the emergency room and comes out with a nurse and a wheelchair. I’m able to get out and maneuver her into the wheelchair. I don’t want to take my eyes off her, but I do. We all run into the hospital, but another nurse stops us and orders us to move the car. As much as I hate it, I tell Alden to stay with Amara and I’ll move the car. He tosses me the keys.
My entire body is trembling worse than a leaf in the wind. I can’t stop it either. This is my Amara and her cancer might be back. It’s an issue I never thought I would have to deal with this since my mother’s death. I remember all the difficulties she went through and now my girlfriend will go through it.
Again.
I go back into the hospital, and it takes me a moment to find Alden. He’s pacing around in a circle.
“Where is she?”
“They’re evaluating her.” He’s pale.
“Can’t we go back?”
He shakes his head. “I called Mom too. She still has medical power of attorney for Amara.”
“Huh?”
“Mom makes all decisions over Amara’s health.” He explains.
“Oh.” Right now my brain isn’t working. I can’t think of anything but Amara.
We both are staring at the double doors. I don’t know what’s happening behind them, but I know she’s there. I need to be there with her. Every part of me is telling myself to bust down the doors and get to her. Standing here isn’t helping her. Then again I don’t know what I will do back there. The doctors and nurses can help her more. They’re the professionals.
I don’t know how long Alden and I pace outside the door but soon Elizabeth is rushing toward us with Baylor.
“What’s happening?” It’s the first time I’ve seen her rattled. She’s pale with worry and fright in her eyes.
“They’ve not come out yet,” I say.
Alden is clinging to Baylor, and it’s then I see the tears coming down his cheeks. I can’t lie in saying mine aren’t close to falling as well.
“Brockman.” A female calls out from a side door.
The four of us run over and follow the nurse in her bright blue scrubs down a long corridor and into a private waiting room. I remember these types of rooms. It’s where they deliver the bad news. I find the last string of strength I have left in my body and hold tight to it. I have to be strong for Amara.
I will be strong for her.
“The doctor will be here in a moment.” She gives a small smile before leaving us in the room. We all collapse in the chairs. I can still feel myself shaking, but I’m doing the best I can to hide it.
A few moments later an older man downing a white doctor’s coat comes in. His silvery white hair shines under the fluorescent lights.
“Brockman.” We nod.
He pulls up a chair closer to us.
We all stay, awaiting for whatever news he’s here to give us.
“Amara is still upset and I’m having a hard time understanding her.”
Elizabeth speaks up. “She believes her cancer has come back.” She goes on to tell him Amara’s medical history.
“What did she do last night?”
“We went to Concord for dinner and then came back to our apartment,” I answer.
“Could she be pregnant?”
The entire room says, “No.”
“Why not?”
“She has bad scarring on her tubes. She never had a cycle on her own. The doctors gave her birth control, which she takes every day to keep it coming.” Elizabeth explained.
He continues with his list of questions. Baylor adds in about Amara’s weight loss and lack of appetite. Neither of which I had noticed. Elizabeth speaks of a few small bruises on her legs. Also something I never saw or paid attention to. Alden comments about Amara’s frequent naps. I add in about her deep personal stress. Between Jack and her RN test, I know it’s all been weighing heavily on her.
“I’m going to run a few tests. I’ll be back soon.” He stands and leaves us alone in the room.
We fall into a deep silence as time ticks slowly by. We sit. We pace. We listen to each other breathing, but we don’t talk. The only real sound in the room is the hum of the lights above.
Almost two hours later, a nurse comes in and tells us Amara has been moved to a private room upstairs. After she gives us the directions on how to get there we quickly make our way to it.
As we step off the elevator and head down the hall, we’re greeted by the doctor coming out of her room.
“Is she okay?” Elizabeth questions.
“From all the tests I ran, there’s no cancer alerts.”
All four of us give a big sigh of relief.
“There’s a couple more to come back, but I believe they’ll be negative as well. After she calmed down and talked to me, I’m concluding she’s dehydrated and exhausted. She’s getting some fluids right now and seems much more relaxed. We’ll keep her for a few hours to ensure all the tests come back clear. I don’t see anything more serious.”
We all begin to thank him and then move past to get to Amara. She’s paler but looks much better than the last time I had eyes on her.
Normally, I would always respect everyone. However, right now, I practically push Alden out of my way to get to her. I grab Amara – gently – into my arms. I bury my face in the crook of her neck as the tears fall. I’m well aware she doesn’t have anything life threatening, but I still have to hold her.
I love her.
She’s mine.
“Nate, may we hug her now too?” Alden taps my shoulder with great force.
I pull back slightly and kiss her. “You okay?”
She nods and smiles. “I feel better.”
“Good.” I give her another kiss and let her go.
Everyone else comes around, hugging her and telling her how glad they are she’s okay.
“I’m sorry I scared you guys.” Amara wipes her cheeks free of the wet tears.
“We were all worried about you.” Her mother sits on the side of the bed. I’m toward the end, holding onto her calf. I have to touch her and keep my eyes on her. It’s keeping me calmer seeing she’s okay.
“I haven’t felt well for the past couple weeks, and I kept pushing it away. I thought the cancer had come back. I didn’t want to deal with it.” She confesses. “With Jack, fighting with Alden, the test, it’s everything. I don’t deal with stress well.” She hangs her head.
“Amara, you keep too much on the inside.” Elizabeth lifts her head up and pats her cheeks. “You have to let it go.”
“I know.” She nods sadly.
The doctor strolls into her room. “Just wanted to let you know all the tests came back negative. I’m going to order you finish the bag of fluids and then you’re going to go home and rest for the next three days. Okay?”
Before Amara can answer, we do it for her. There’s no way she’s doing anything for the next week. I don’t care what she says or if she argues with me. It’s not going to happen.
“I promise,” she’s able to finally say.
When the doctor leaves, Alden leans down to her and glares.
“Don’t.” She sighs and turns away.
He continues to stare at her as if he’s yelling at her through his eyes.
Her shoulders drop as does her head. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re barely eating, sleeping more and more, and it all concerns me.” He states firmly. “You have to remain healthy. For me. For Nate. For all those who care about you.”
“A lot has been happening the past couple months, Alden.” She fires back.
“And I’m sorry as well.” He grips her hand. “I never want to cause you pain.”
“I know.”
“We’re going to fight. We do, but I promise to… try… not to be so overprotective.”
“Wow.” She seems shocked. “Those are words I thought I’d never hear.”
This makes us laugh.
&
nbsp; “Thank you, Alden. I love you too.” They give each other another hug.
The nurses come in and out periodically checking on her and her stats. When the bag empties of its fluid, they remove the IV. Elizabeth takes her into the bathroom to help her change. Even though Amara insists she can do it on her own.
When she gets the discharge papers, she is pushed in the wheelchair to the front of the hospital. Her mother orders her to rest and she’ll come by tomorrow to check on her. I help her into the backseat of Alden’s car and make sure she’s in before getting in on the other side. Amara takes the middle seat and curls up to me as best she can with the seatbelt around her. I hold onto her and she stays close to me.
When Alden parks in front of our apartment building, I help her out of the car. I want to carry her to our place but refrain. I know she’ll get pissed if I do. Alden and Baylor both follow us. They love her as much as I do.
How do I tell her?
Do I blurt it out?
Do I create another romantic date?
Definitely can’t do it while we’re having sex. I’ve heard other guys say that’s a huge mistake.
The one thing I do know… I have to tell her. The problem is… does she love me?
“Amara, you’re taking this week off.” Baylor informs her.
“The doctor said—”
“Don’t care.” She cuts her off. “You need to rest. Period.”
I smirk at Baylor’s tone. Usually she uses it only on Alden.
“Fine.” Amara sighs.
Alden is standing close to me when he whispers, “You’re going to take care of her, right?” Before I could answer he continues, “If you don’t I’ll kill you.”
I give him a look of derision. “You know better.”
“Call me if anything happens.” He orders me, taking Baylor’s hand and telling Amara he loves her.
Once they’re gone, I bring Amara a glass of water. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m not.” She pats the seat next to her on the couch. “May we talk?”
I nod and sit down.
“I want to apologize for scaring you.”
“You did.” I tell her.
“I’m sorry,” she says again.
“Why didn’t you tell me you thought the cancer was back?” For a brief second, I almost don’t want to know the answer.
“I didn’t want to face it myself.”
“You could have talked to me about it.” I plead.
“Nathan.” She stares at me for a moment. “I know I could have confessed my fears to you, but I didn’t even want to say it out loud.”
I nod. “I can understand your feelings.”
She holds tightly to my hand. “I had much different places for us tonight.”
I laugh. I know her plans were the same as mine. Sex. “Well, none of that until you feel better.”
She curls up on my side. “Thank you.”
“I’ll always be there for you.” I kiss the top of her head.
“I’ll be there for you too.” She gazes up at me with her big eyes. “I was nervous to text you the first time.”
“I remember feeling the same way.” The memory came to me easily. “I was sitting on this couch feeling sorry for myself. My fingers were broken, and it had brought an uncertainty in my life.”
“I saw the game where you got hurt. I texted Greer Hopp, Edgar’s wife, for your number.”
“She is our den mother.” I joke, but it’s the truth. When a new Bear comes into town it’s Greer’s number they give you to get you settled.
“I wanted you to know it was going to be okay. Everyone gets hurt.”
“It helped.” I tell her. “And we started there.”
“We talked about movies.”
“Books.”
“Food.”
“Hockey.”
“Everything.” Her smile is genuine and real.
“And then Alden made me have dinner with you guys.”
“I stared at you the whole time.” She confesses.
“I know because I was staring at you too.”
She sits up a bit. “I texted you when I got home.”
“You told me how handsome I was.” I touch her cheek. “I told you you were beautiful.”
We stare at each other. Am I seeing love in her eyes? Or is it just the fact she cares for me?
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” she whispers.
The pad of my thumb runs over her bottom lip. “I do.”
“I do too. I know we’ve only been on one official date––”
“Even though we’ve only gone out once, I think we’re more than just a couple.” I cut her off so I can express my feelings. It’s now or ever. “You’re my girlfriend and today I was scared. When you were on the floor, I was helpless. When you thought your cancer was back, I was helpless. But with all those terrifying emotions what stood out the most was… love. You have become my girlfriend, but you were my friend first. You stuck with me and I want to be by your side for a super long time. I love you, Amara Brockman.”
A slow, single tear rolls down her cheek. “I had been worried about handing my heart over to someone. Yes, I wanted to lose my virginity before I was a hundred, but my heart, respect, and love needed to go to someone who was worthy of me, my ambitions and all my flaws.” She clears her throat. “It’s you. You are the one I love.”
She moves and straddles my lap. I can’t lie when I say I instantly grow hard for her. Her sexiness overwhelms me. She cups my face and kisses me. I grip her hips hard as she rocks against me.
I know where this is leading and I pull away. “We can’t do this. Not right now.”
“Please.” She kisses my cheek. “Please.” Then right below my ear. “Please.” Then down my neck. Her hands begin to work on my belt. Suddenly my dick is out and she’s stroking me harder and harder. I lose all control as I yank off her leggings. The need to touch her and be inside her is all I can think about. She stands and together we get her out of her clothes and me out of mine.
Amara straddles me again and grabs my dick tightly. She positions me at her opening and slowly sits down. My eyes roll back in my head. Her tightness hugs me like nothing I ever felt. It was tight last night, but this is… different. I stare at her as she does me.
The difference is our declaration of love.
We love each other.
She rides me harder, and I’m going to make sure she finishes first. I try to think of anything but blowing inside her. Mainly it’s hockey stats until I feel her growing closer. The expression on her face is saying she’s there.
“Nathan.”
I begin to pound into her as hard and fast as I can. I want us to reach the climax together.
And we do.
We yell out at the same time and her wetness runs down my dick onto my thigh. I pull her to my lips and kiss the hell out of her… until we’re both breathless.
“I love you,” I manage to say.
“I love you too.” She smiles
This is going to be a great relationship.
Chapter Seventeen
Amara
I wake up in Nathan’s bed with a big smile on my face. I’m in another shirt of his, and it’s soft. I don’t want to get out of bed, but Nathan isn’t in it. I want to find him.
He’s sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Today is draft day and I know lots of Bears are nervous about today.
“Good morning.” I greet him happily. After we declared our love – and had great sex – we watched M*A*S*H on TV and then went to bed. It was a perfect night.
“Morning,” he says in a monotone voice.
“It’s going to be okay.”
He nods. “Alden, Baylor, and Kace are coming over. I ordered pizzas.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost two.”
My jaw drops. “Seriously?” I slept over fourteen hours. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that long. Ever.
“I didn’t want
to wake you.”
I’m still shocked at the time. I tell him I’ll get ready before everyone comes over. I feel better than yesterday. As I let the warm water in the shower cascade over me, I relive yesterday in my mind. When I woke up to the urge of throwing up, all I thought of was when I was ill before and the fear overwhelmed me. I couldn’t stop the emotions. Soon it consumed me. But Nathan never left me and in the end, he told me he loved me.
My breakdown is almost worth it.
I wear a pair of capris and a simple t-shirt. I pull my hair into a ponytail and opt not to put on my full makeup regimen. I slap on lip gloss and go back out to Nathan. My brother and family are here. Kace runs up to me with his arms wide.
“Are you feeling better, Aunt Amara?”
“Much better.” I kiss the top of his head.
Alden hugs me next but doesn’t say anything. I know he’s still worried. I love him for it. It shows how much he cares.
I grab a couple slices of pizza and sit in between Nathan’s leg on the floor while he’s on the couch eating. He protests because he thinks I should be up next to him, but Kace is next to me and I love hanging out with my nephew.
The PHL network is already talking about who is going where and who could be traded. No one mentions Nathan’s name, but they do say Bas’ name. We all knew it was a possibility. Another name mentioned is Vance Pemberton. I’d hate to see him leave as well, but we know how life in the PHL is.
Everyone is talking about the potential draftees coming up. They all seem talented and eager to get on the ice to prove themselves. As the draft begins, we all watch on pins and needles. Nathan is holding tightly to his phone.
We are all concentrating on the TV that we jump when the door buzzer goes off. Alden jumps up to answer, and it’s Teo.
“Hey, man.” Nathan stands to greet him. Teo looks tired, but his beautiful daughter, Klara, is bouncing in his arms. I go to grab her. I just love this little girl. She’s so full of energy. I put her down, and she’s running all over the place. Baylor gets the diaper bag, and we finally get her to sit on the floor and play with her toys.
“How are you doing?” I hear Alden ask Teo.
“Okay. We just got back yesterday. Thanks for keeping an eye on the house, Nate,” Teo says.
“Not a problem. Where’s Nova?”
