Dirty Talk

by Lauren Landish

  Kevin chuckles. “Seriously Kat, this is sad. I mean this guy? He looks like a total douchebag.”

  “Fuck you!” I hiss, feeling the flush paint my cheeks. Deep down, I don’t really care what Kevin thinks or says, but in the moment, with him sneering at me, it’s hard not to react or to fall into old habits. “You don’t get a say in who I see. You cheated on me, remember?”

  “Didn’t take you long to find some new dick,” Kevin replies, not taking the obvious hint to leave. He looks at Derrick, who’s coiled tight, ready to get up if need be, but is also letting me handle this myself for now. I appreciate that he knows I need to do this. He talks to Derrick, but Kevin’s eyes are on me, watching his barbs hit home. “Can I give you a tip, man? You don’t need to go through that much effort. She’s an easy fuck. Not that good, but easy.” He leans back, the pride at seeing the insecurities he’s brought up in me obvious in his eyes.

  Derrick’s heard enough and gets to his feet. For the first time, I see that he actually towers over Kevin by a couple inches.

  “Okay that’s it,” Derrick rumbles. “I’ve heard enough of this.”

  “Oh, I’m shaking in my boots,” Kevin drawls, wiggling his fingers. “Why don’t you sit back down, buddy? You don’t know who you’re talking to.”

  “Sure I do,” Derrick says, his voice dropping to threatening whisper. “You’re the two-pump chump piece of shit who couldn’t give Kat what she deserved. You took advantage of her, fucked around on her and lost her. Now you’ve probably figured out she was the best damn woman to walk into your life and you blew it. She figured out you’re worthless, and she deserves better.”

  “And you think you’re better?” Kevin says. He laughs, half turning away, but it’s a feint. His left hand flashes out, catching Derrick just above the eyebrow, and the fight’s on.

  It’s the first fight I’ve seen since a little push-shove thing in high school, and it’s nothing like the movies. Nobody gets involved to peel them apart, but at the same time it doesn’t last long. Kevin tries to follow up his punch with another, but Derrick grabs his arm and somehow pushes it across his body. Kevin’s thrown off-balance, and as he stumbles past, Derrick picks him up in a massive bear hug before slamming him to the floor of the bar.

  “That’s enough!” the bartender yells. “Don’t make me call the cops!”

  “Call them, I’m pressing charges,” Kevin whines from underneath Derrick. “He assaulted me.”

  “Boy, from where I’m sittin’, you threw the first punch and he defended himself from your shenanigans. Where I come from, you put money in the register, you gon’ get a receipt more often than not,” one of the bar patrons drawls. “Figure at least four more of us saw the same thing.”

  Kevin looks like he’s about to whine, but slumps down. Derrick gets up, and I notice he’s bleeding. I go to touch the wound as Kevin gets up, grabbing a tumbler off a nearby table, but one hard look from Derrick is all it takes, and he lets go of the weapon to leave the bar.

  “Are you okay?” Derrick asks, turning to look at me for the first time. “I’m sorry, I would have let you handle that, but he was being a bit too much of an asshole.”

  I feel oddly excited. I mean, Derrick just went Neanderthal. Why not clunk me on the head, and drag me back to his cave by the hair? But I’m turned on, power coursing through me not only in that I stood up to Kevin, but that Derrick had my back.

  I grab his head and pull him down into a deep kiss, our tongues swirling as I reward him for being there for me. “Let’s get out of here and get that cut looked at,” I whisper.

  I usher Derrick onto the couch, where I strip off my jacket. “Okay, let me get the alcohol,” I say, going to grab my kit.

  I come back, soaking a few cotton balls in alcohol. I dab at his cut, which is a lot deeper than I expected. “Damn,” Derrick says, inspecting it. “Got any tape?”

  “Uh . . . probably,” I say, looking in my kit. “Why?”

  “Learned from a friend,” Derrick says, taking the roll. He tears strips and carefully covers the cut with a narrow piece of gauze before taping his eyebrow back together. “Damn . . . could have done without this, but there was no way I was throwing the first punch.”

  “You let him hit you,” I whisper, running my finger through his hair just above his eyebrow. “Why?”

  “Because you deserve to have someone take a punch for you,” Derrick says, his hand closing over mine and pulling me closer. “Besides, I heard somewhere that chicks dig scars.”

  I chuckle, and gently trace my fingertips along his forehead and down around his eye to his cheek. I’m checking for any tender spots, but mostly just marking him with my touch, appreciating that he was willing to sacrifice himself for me. I dip down, finding his lips with mine, hoping he feels the thank you I’m trying to communicate with my kisses. The fire we’ve been stoking for the last few days rages at my center, and I need to . . . worship him. This man, who isn’t showing me who I am, but is helping me actually discover who I am for myself, which feels even more important. I lower to my knees, my face level with the hardness already pressing against his jeans.

  “Kat, you don’t have to. What about our second date?” There’s a plea to his voice, and I know he’s trying his damndest to do the right thing. But I know that this is the right thing. It’s not some guidebook dating rule, arbitrary so everyone thinks you’re a ‘good girl’, this is just real and what I want. Using all the tips from the show today, and maybe a few tricks of my own, I take Derrick to the edge in minutes.

  “Damn it, Kat. Just like that . . . suck that cock, take me all in. Are you gonna swallow for me because I’m about to fill you up. Where do you want it?” I feel his balls pull tight, and I suck him in deep, leaving no doubt to my answer. I swallow down every drop, satisfaction humming through me.

  I lay my head on his thigh, tracing lines along his softening cock as he pants above me. I realize that I’m really falling for him, despite my misgivings and fears, and that’s both exciting and terrifying. He’s not just healing my heart like the casual rebound I though this might be, but he’s filling my heart with new hopes and dreams, which feels dangerous.

  Chapter 15

  Derrick

  I wake up in an increasingly familiar, comfortable tangle of arms and legs, opening my eyes to see again the increasingly familiar poster of Einstein with his tongue poking out that’s next to the closet. I stretch, feeling Kat’s breast shift to press against my ribs warmly. “Mmm, good morning.”

  “Mid-morning,” Kat yawns sleepily. “You better be glad that my job lets me do flex time, stud. Let’s get brunch.”

  I hum happily, turning over and kissing her forehead. “I don’t know about brunch, but I’ve got a nice sausage for you if you’re interested.”

  Kat chuckles, but reaches down and gives my cock a good morning stroke. “I’ve never thought of myself as sexually insatiable before meeting you. Now it’s like sex is as necessary as oxygen or high speed Wi-Fi.”

  I laugh and give her a kiss. I can feel it though, after the passionate heat of last night, both our bodies are taken care of for now, and we roll out of bed, getting ready for the day.

  “How’s the eye?” Kat asks as she quickly showers. “Oh, and if you don’t mind pink, I’ve got some disposable razors in the medicine cabinet. Gonna have to use soap though.”

  “Conditioner will do the trick,” I reply, finding a bottle and squeezing it out. “Did a show on grooming for lovemaking once, found out that conditioner is better for softening the hair and the skin than soap. As for the eye, not too bad, the tape held it together.”

  We swap places, and I wash carefully, avoiding my eye. When I get out, Kat’s already in her bedroom getting dressed. What I see stirs both my loins and something else as she pulls on a pair of her ever-present jeans, but instead of one of her normal shirts, she has on one of mine. “Where’d you get that?”

  “You left it the second night you came over,” Kat says, blush
ing. It’s adorable, my shirt practically swallows her to the point she could wear it like a dress if she wants. “Mind if I wear it?”

  “Looks better on you than it ever did on me,” I say, pulling her in close. “You’re beautiful, Katrina Snow. And you make me feel lucky to be part of your life.”

  We kiss tenderly while I pick her up, amazed at how far things have gone and glad at the same time. I set her down, looking at the way my shirt covers her, wrapping her up the way I’d like to, but knowing we need to get some food . . . fuel, whatever.

  She steps back, putzing with the oversized shirt, rolling the sleeves and tying it at the waist in an almost country-girl fashion, but when she’s done, I whistle. “Woman, you definitely make that shirt look better than I ever did. As far as I’m concerned, it’s yours. And I want to see you in that and nothing else very soon.”

  Kat looks at herself in the mirror, and gives me a grin. Reaching down, she unbuttons one more button, giving me a hint of her cleavage. “You make me feel sexy, and I want the world to know it. Now . . . pancakes!”

  We drive to a nearby restaurant, ordering complete brunch specials, and chat innocently while sipping our orange juice. Just after our plates arrive, I hear a voice call out my name. “Hey, D!”

  I turn, grinning as Jacob dominates the room, his massive presence almost making the tightly packed tables and booths melt away. “Jacob, I didn't even know you were in town.”

  “Yeah well, team’s got a long week with the Monday night game, so Coach gave us an extra day off. Who’s your friend?” Jacob asks, giving Kat his Sports Illustrated megawatt smile. “Jacob Knight, pleased to meet you.”

  “Jacob, this is my girlfriend, Katrina Snow. Kat, Jacob’s my old college roommate.”

  His eyes widen a little at me calling Kat my girlfriend, and I didn’t even mean to say it at first, it just sort of came out. But it feels right, and as the surprise melts away, I can see that Kat’s pleased as punch with the designation.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Kat says. “Join us for brunch?”

  “That little snack? We’re in the middle of the season, I need protein, so excuse me . . .” He motions to the waitress, who buzzes to the table, seemingly overjoyed to be asked to come over judging by the way she’s been eyeing Jacob. “Can I get a half-dozen eggs, scrambled, four slices of bacon, extra crispy, and a bowl of oatmeal with a touch of brown sugar.” The waitress nods absently in a trance as she stares at Jacob’s mouth before she snaps out of it and scurries off. Jacob laughs, looking back at us, “What do you think the chances are she’s going to get that right?”

  He settles in, and under the table I can feel Kat’s hand rest on my thigh. She gives me a squeeze, and when I look in her eyes, they’re full of emotion that I know we’ll talk about soon.

  For now though, Jacob’s full of energy and questions. “So where’d you get the shiner, man? Didn’t I teach you enough to avoid a beating?”

  “It’s not a shiner, it’s a cut. And that deflection move that you and I drilled for two summers came in handy,” I tell him. I fill him in on the incident with Kevin, Jacob’s face clouding at first before clearing.

  “So he did you right?” Jacob asks Kat, who smiles and nods. “Good. Because if he doesn’t, give me a call. I’ll show him a few moves that I haven’t taught him yet. I wouldn’t worry though, D’s a good man.”

  I watch as Jacob and Kat get to know each other, and I’m glad to see that they get along well. They’re total and complete opposites, the towering physical gladiator who makes his millions by terrorizing quarterbacks while she makes apps for smartphones and tablets, but it seems to be working. He’s gregarious and rarely stops talking, asking questions and giving her quieter approach a direction to keep the conversation rolling.

  “So you listen to Derrick’s show?” Kat asks in surprise. “Just didn’t think that’d happen. You’re sort of . . ..”

  “Big?” Jacob asks ironically, making Kat laugh. “Yeah well, if anything, that helps guys like me. I ain’t ashamed to admit it, I’ve used a few tips D’s said to help things along. Haven’t found the right girl yet, but that’s okay. I gotta say though,” he says as he stares Derrick down. “You’ve never called me up after a breakup to see if I was doing okay?” He fakes a sniffle, tracing a dry fingertip down his cheek like it’s a tear before grinning madly.

  I see Kat blush, and I know just what she’s thinking about. “You’re a big boy. I figure you know to pick up the phone if that’s what you need. No offense.”

  “None taken,” Jacob says. Kat gets up, and he rises like a gentleman. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” Kat giggles, charmed. “Just two cups of coffee and then OJ . . . ladies’ room is calling. Excuse me a moment.”

  Kat walks away, and Jacob turns back to me. “Seems like a good girl. She gets the stamp of approval.”

  I laugh. “Didn’t know I needed one, but thanks. Why’s that?”

  “Just seems like the girl for you, that’s all. Listen D, I’ve known you for almost a decade now. Everyone has a type that’s meant for them. Me . . . I need some kick ass chick who’s going to take no prisoners and probably butt heads with me right up until the point we’re tearing each other’s clothes off. You though, you’re the kind that needs someone that you just gel with. And while you two aren’t peas and carrots, you gel.”

  “Peas and carrots?” I ask, smirking. “Let me guess, Forrest Gump on the last cross country flight?”

  “Besides,” Jacob continues, not getting thrown off at all, “you like her too. I can see it in your eyes and not just that cut over your eyebrow. She’s doing something to you man. And in my opinion, it’s a good something.”

  “Yeah well, I gotta take my time. The asshole ex we told you about isn’t the only guy who’s treated her like shit in the past. So I plan to just treat her right, go slow, and treat her with the respect that I don’t think any other man has ever given her and we’ll see what happens.”

  Jacob nods sagely. “Well said, brother. Might not be a complex game plan, but it’s a solid one. Hey, I can get you another ticket for the game if you want to bring her with your dad.”

  “Fuck yeah!” I reply, grinning. “You’re the best, man.”

  “I can get you one of the cheerleader outfits for her too . . . if the Love Whisperer is into that.”

  I close my eyes, imagining Kat in a cheerleader outfit, not a bad idea, but maybe later. “Probably not a safe idea for now. But thanks for the offer.”

  Chapter 16

  Kat

  I feel giggly and light as I wrap up my coding for the evening, knowing that I’m rocking this new app and am right on target for my deadline. I kick back in my cubicle, pulling out my phone. “I can miss Derrick’s show for one night,” I say to myself. “Besides, I can get the real deal any time I want now. So . . ..”

  I hit speed dial, glad that I have most of the office to myself.

  After just two rings, the call’s picked up. “Hey babe, how’s life in the silicon world?”

  I smile, sounds like Elise is doing better. “Not bad, how’s life in the dirt sheets?”

  “Same as always, dirty and I can only tell half of it,” Elise says. “Gimme some good news, I can use some after the shit I listened to today.”

  “Well . . .” I say, drawing it out, “you won't believe what happened last night.”

  I tell Elise about my night out that turned into a night of passion with Derrick, leaving out my nude ‘swallow’ pic, glossing over most of my day and really starting the story after Derrick picked me up and we went to the bar.

  “That local place we’ve been to?” Elise asks. “Fancy.”

  I chuckle at the sarcasm, and continue. “Derrick didn’t mind. Actually, it was going great, we’d gotten our tapas order in and were sharing more about ourselves. Derrick was flirting with me pretty hardcore, but I liked it.”

  “You seem to like everything he does,” Elise says, but there’s not too much jealousy t
here. “At least tell me he’s hung like a peanut so I don’t have to kill you.”

  “Sorry, you’re just gonna have to kill me,” I joke back. “But, you’ll love him too when you hear what happened next. Kevin showed up.”

  “That son of a bitch,” Elise growls. “Bastard better be glad I wasn’t there, I’d have castrated him with a broken beer bottle.”

  I don’t doubt it, and that’s why I love her so damn much. “Derrick wasn’t too happy either. But he was so fucking awesome. First, he let me handle it, just having my back. But when Kevin crossed the line . . . Derrick handed him his ass.”

  “Is that so?” Elise comments, impressed. “Well then babe, I’m starting to like Derrick more and more. Anyone who stands up for my girl is worth a thank you grope.”

  “Uh huh, hands off my man. This morning we went to brunch and he introduced me to Jacob Knight . . . as his girlfriend.”

  “Jacob Knight the football stud?” Elise says, whistling. “Phew, that’s a lot of man there. I’ve heard rumors about him too. Let’s just say the man knows his way around the field, in football and with women.”

  “Maybe, but he was a total gentleman with me. As we were leaving, he even said he’d get me a ticket to join Derrick and his father for an upcoming game. I’m . . .I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m excited to go to a football game!”

  “Sounds like you’d be excited to go to a demolition derby if it was with Derrick,” Elise says. “Maybe he can use that sexy radio voice to tell you all the plays step by detailed step . . .” She mimics a sultry seductress tone, “the tight end grabs the ball, tugging it close to his body, and letting loose a burst of speed as he thrusts toward the end zone. Touchdown. Oh my . . . the celebratory champagne seems to have spilled all over his sweaty body. Bubbles popping . . . everywhere.”