Dirty Talk

by Lauren Landish

  “A deal Jerry and I have. Each season, we take one game check each and we get to invest it the way we want. He does it in real estate, and he’s made some good deals. But I do day trading. I’d like to squeeze out another three percent.”

  “Why’s that?” I ask, trying not to let on that her blithely playing with thousands of dollars makes me a little twitchy. I mean, my job doesn’t have me scraping to pay the bills anymore . . . but it’s not like I can drop money like this on a whim.

  “Whoever gets a bigger return . . . gets to be in charge of our anniversary celebration,“ Rachel says, giggling. “Last year, I won, and I think Jerry liked it. So this year I want to go whole hog. Leather, chains . . . he might be a football stud, but if I can get that three percent, he’s gonna be my little bitch.”

  I gawk, then laugh. “You should talk to my boyfriend, Derrick. He’ll-”

  “Oh, we all know Derrick,” Rachel whispers. “Half the players and wives listen in . . . congrats. That was one hell of an interview, girl! Now come on, game’s about to start.”

  We sit down, me in between Derrick and Daniel, who insists that I call him Dad. He’s still recovering from his heart attack, but he looks a lot stronger in just a few weeks, and we make up for his lack of strength with our own cheering.

  “You still don’t have any clue what’s going on, do you?” Derrick whispers as he leans over during one of the timeouts. “Didn’t get to read that book?”

  “I tried, but I’ve been kinda busy,” I deadpan. We both chuckle, although it’s not too dark a chuckle.

  It hasn’t been very easy, dealing with the aftermath. So far, Susannah’s trying to cover her ass, being as ‘cooperative’ as possible in the hopes that Derrick and I don’t go after her with a civil suit. But that’s not the hard part. While the Monday show after our getting back together had plenty of respectful, supportive callers and guests, Derrick’s had to deal with a little backlash from some of his female fans.

  There were a few emails from pearl-clutchers who didn’t appreciate that he called me his ‘dirty slut’ in our phone sex recordings, but he handled it with his usual aplomb that what consenting adults do and say in the privacy of their own sex lives isn’t up for judgement by folks who aren’t involved. I cringed a little when he reminded everyone that he hadn’t invited them into his dirty talk, but it seemed to shut the critics up.

  The other backlash was related to his appeal, at least partially, being because of his apparent ‘availability’ and he shattered quite a few fantasies when his girlfriend came on the air and we publicly said we love each other and were moving in together.

  We’ve both been a little bitter about people feeling entitled to an opinion about something that’s none of their business, and we’ve both dealt with trolls and perverts who’ve sent in daily requests to ‘see the Kitty Kat,’ along with their ‘suggestions’ as to what they’d do with me.

  Quincy, Derrick’s manager, has been pretty supportive. He worked with Derrick to make sure that the new producer, a married woman named Janet, is totally professional, and he’s done a good job of screening out the assholes and opportunists who’ve applied to be the new co-host.

  “Hey,” Derrick asks, leaning over, “you okay? Looked lost in thought? They still giving you problems at work?”

  I shake my head, smiling. “No. A few slimy comments, but nothing I can’t handle. If anything, your show’s become a big hit around the office actually.”

  Derrick laughs, our laughter being drowned out as a massive roar goes through the stadium. I look out, and most of the cheering fans are for the away team, so I guess it was bad for us. “Uh, what happened?”

  “Big punt return,” Daniel says, his eyes fixed on the field. “I’d say we’re going to give up at least a field goal, they’ve got first and ten on the twelve yard line.”

  I nod, half of what ‘Dad’ just said going straight over my head but I can see the position on the field, and I make sure to watch as the defense lines up. I memorized Jacob’s number, and jump out of my seat cheering as number ninety-two bum rushes through and tackles the quarterback for a big loss. “Go Jacob!”

  “Big sack!” Dad cheers, grinning. “That’s the way to collapse the pocket!”

  “Huh?” I ask, glancing at Derrick. “Uhm, I’m just glad I remembered who the quarterback was.”

  Derrick grins, leaning in. “I think after my lesson you can at least remember that much.”

  I blush, my body tingling as I think of our last minute ‘football lesson’ that turned into sex after Derrick had me bend over as the ‘center,’ and he got behind me for the snap. He gave my right cheek a swift smack and then smoothed it over with a grabbing caress, and feeling his strong hands on my ass triggered a need for something more than football knowledge. Apparently it was the same thing for him because we almost ended up late to pick up Daniel after finishing up our ‘lesson’. “I hope the real center and quarterback don’t end up like that.”

  “Who knows?” Derrick chuckles. “Come on, let’s keep watching.”

  The game’s first half goes well, and when halftime comes, it’s still close. “Time for some snacks,” Daniel says, getting up. Because of his heart attack, his diet is much stricter than it used to be, and he’s not allowed alcohol or fatty foods, but today he said he was taking a very rare exception and splurged on a small plateful of buffalo wings already. “I’m gonna grab some bites from the veggie tray. You guys want anything?”

  “They got any nachos back there?” Derrick asks. “Feeling like cheese.”

  Daniel nods and walks off slowly. I watch him go, then turn back to Derrick. “You sure he’s okay getting two plates?”

  “He’s fine, it’s just right over there and it’ll let him feel more independent. Besides, I had something else I wanted.”

  “Oh?” I ask, reading the low rumble in his voice. “What’s that?”

  “Like maybe I should have taken Jacob up on that cheerleader outfit offer,” he whispers in my ear. “Minus the panties.”

  My throat goes dry, and I look into Derrick’s eyes. “Behave yourself . . . and we’ll see what happens when we get home. For now though, I need a drink.”

  I get up and head to the back of the box, where Daniel is piling tortilla chips onto a big plate. “Here, let me help.”

  He looks over, then nods. “Is Derrick behaving himself?”

  “As much as he normally does,” I reply with a chuckle. “You know how he is.”

  “I do,” he says, glancing back. “It’s funny, but I guess he’s always been meant for that show of his. He’s always had a way with words, even when he was younger and wouldn’t say much unless he really knew you. He’s a little old-fashioned still though in some ways, hopefully that was me and his mom’s doing. He just needed a very special woman to complete him. I’m glad he’s found her now.”

  I blink, touched. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I wish his mother could’ve been here to see it. Vanessa would have liked you a lot.”

  I look up, wiping at my eyes. No raccoon eyes, no raccoon eyes . . . “I wish I could’ve met her,” I finally say, not trusting my emotions, “let’s get the rest of the grub, go enjoy the second half, and you can tell me what kind of woman she was.”

  The rest of the game goes well, and ends on a happy note as Jacob’s team gets a close win. “Nice . . . home playoff game next week,” Derrick says as we leave the stadium. “He’ll enjoy that.”

  I smile, putting my arm around his waist. I don’t know what exactly that means, but I loved being by Derrick’s side and knowing that he’s there for me just like I was there for him today. We’ve been tested, and though it wasn’t pretty, we withstood the potential hellfire.

  “You two go on, I’ll be fine,” Dad says when we reach the car. “I think after a game like that, I’m going to just go relax, and I’m sure for you two the evening is just starting. I’ll grab a taxi home and catch you later.”

  He flags
down a taxi as if it were nothing, and we watch him get in, leaving Derrick and I holding each other in the chilly wind. “So . . . how was your first football game?”

  I chuckle, and hug him. “I enjoyed our little practice game more, but it was fun just being there with you guys. So what are we going to do?”

  “I say we hit up Jacob’s after party,” he says. “I could use some adult supervision.”

  I laugh, and we get in his car, driving to a nearby nightclub. Walking in, I’m surprised to see a familiar face. “Elise?”

  She looks like a million bucks in a sparkly, tight-fitting club dress, and when she turns around, a huge grin breaks across her face. “Hey babe, why didn’t you tell me you were coming!?”

  “Kind of spur of the moment . . . but what are you doing here?” I ask. Derrick gives a nod to Elise, but before he can say anything, someone calls his name from across the room and he turns. “Go,” I tell him. “I’ll catch up in a minute. Tell Jacob good game for me.”

  “I will,” he says, kissing me on the cheek.

  Derrick leaves with a wave, and Elise turns back to me. “So what are you doing in town?” I ask as she leads me over to a table where another woman is sitting. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” the woman, who honestly I would never expect to be sitting with Elise, says. She immediately ignores me though, gushing to Elise. “Check it, babe! I was talking with some of the girls, and you’d never believe what Christian K is up to.”

  “What?” Elise asks, and I suddenly get it without her explaining. She’s in town working. Guess a gossip columnist has to follow the gossip.

  The woman looks over at me and smiles, then back at Elise. “You sure your friend here is up to hear about it?”

  Elise sighs, and grimaces. “With that, I’m not sure even I want to know,” Elise says. “Why do the handsome ones have to be so fucked up?”

  Her friend laughs, sipping at her drink. “Well, if you don’t want to hear that, I’ve got an even better story to tell you.”

  The music’s starting to heat up, and we have to lean in close to hear. “What?”

  “You’re never gonna believe it.”

  Elise grabs her drink, downing half of it in a single gulp. “Okay, I’m ready. Spill it!”

  “Okay, well, check out across the room,” the girl says, gesturing. “See him?”

  I turn with Elise, seeing nothing until I recognize the guy at the bar. I almost missed it because his infamous hat is missing and the lights are landing on his bald head at all angles. “Is that?”

  “Yep,” the girl says. “Keith Perkins. You know, the country star?”

  Elise hums, nodding. “The one who’s been gathering the award? What’s he doing in a club like this?”

  “Who knows? He seems to be going incognito without the hat, and maybe there’s a little more to him than his public image says,” gossip girl quips. “Anyway . . . watch him.”

  We do, and while I only see a man who’s out having a good time, he seems to ignore all the women who hit on him, all of them beautiful. “Get my point?” the woman says.

  Elise nods. “Yeah . . . players gon’ play, but this one ain’t playin’ . . . interesting. Gotcha. Two more rounds on me.”

  “I think I’ll go see Derrick,” I whisper in Elise’s ear. “I’ll let you work, find your next scoop. Come see us with Jacob up in VIP when you get the chance?”

  “You got it,” Elise says, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Have fun, babe. And congrats on the win.”

  I go find Derrick, who’s toasting with Jacob. “To the future . . . well, I’m not gonna jinx you yet.”

  “Good, because I don’t need any jinxing,” Jacob says, chuckling. He clinks glasses with Derrick, then sees me. “Hey Kat. Enjoy the game?”

  “Had a ball,” I quip. “But I think it’s time to party.”

  And party we do. While we can’t go overboard, Jacob’s still got at least one more game and we have to drive home, we still enjoy ourselves. Jacob spends most of his time upstairs chatting with nearly every pretty woman who comes his way, but he’s still gentlemanly with them.

  I can see why Derrick likes him.

  “Hey, wanna dance?” Derrick asks me as his ears perk up. “I love this song.”

  I nod my head, taking his hand and swaying with him down the stairs as the DJ plays a remix of Rhianna’s Only Girl, and find a space on the dance floor. We’re dressed nowhere near as fancy as some of the club goers, where undone buttons and high hemlines seem to be the norm . . . but I don’t care as I sway with Derrick.

  Turning around, I grind against him, humming happily as I feel something start to swell. “Is that for me?”

  Derrick growls, lowering his lips to my ear. “I need you. Alone.”

  “Well,” I reply, reaching back and cupping his cheek, “tell Jacob bye and let’s get out of here.”

  The fresh air outside is brisk, but after the heat of the club, it’s refreshing. Walking back to the car, we pass a park, stopping to take in the lights and the large, full moon that’s peering down at us from over the trees. Suddenly, a fountain starts up, spraying into the air and underlit by deep red and blue lights, like something out of a Disney movie. “Wow,” I whisper, hugging against Derrick in the cold air, “it’s beautiful.”

  “It is,” Derrick agrees, hugging me tightly, his front pressing into my back. “Kat . . . thank you. For everything.”

  “Thank you,” I reply softly, looking up to see him with a faraway look on his face. “Derrick? Penny for your thoughts?”

  “Hmm?” he asks. I giggle and snuggle against him, feeling his still stiff cock at my back. “Mmm this is such a romantic setup . . . you and me, alone, with the gorgeous fountain, but all I can think are dirty thoughts. I can’t help it, that’s what you do to me.”

  “Oh really?” I ask, giggling a little. I look back into his eyes, which are glowing red and blue, reflecting the fountain’s lights. “Tell me. I wanna hear every filthy thing.”

  Derrick lowers his voice to that sexy purr he knows drives me wild, a small smile dancing on his lips. “Like I want to get you back home, rip these clothes off you, and worship your body and fill your pussy so full you can’t walk right tomorrow.”

  I grin, turning around and pressing my breasts against his body. “You want to fill my pussy so full of what . . . your . . .long . . . thick . . . throbbing . . . cock?” I ask, drawing out the final word in that way that I know drives him crazy and reminds us both of just how far we’ve come. I reach down, running my hand over his bulging jeans, humming. “Seems that’s exactly what you want to do.”

  Derrick gasps and nods. “Then let’s go home. I think I owe you a nice, long massage tonight.”

  Epilogue

  Derrick

  The church looks beautiful, and the spring time air is warm, the scent of flowers wafting in from the trees outside. I feel a little cooped up in my suit, but that’s okay. Today isn’t about me.

  It’s not really about Kat either, although it’s a very big deal for her. With her sister happily married and our own relationship being on track, today’s sort of the capstone to her own circle of trust.

  It’s one more sign that fairy tales can happen. One night, after we made love, we laid in the dark and she explained a theory about happiness being an island in a sea of misery, comparing love to a small Styrofoam cup. I hadn’t really understood the whole significance of her theory, but I promised to make our island the biggest, happiest one I could and she smiled as she fell asleep in my arms. I decided that meant I was doing good. It’s a growing process for us both.

  Her whole life, she’s been betrayed by every man who she’s ever given her heart to. And while I’ve not been perfect, I don’t think any man is, the worst I’ve done over the past few months was forget to pick up Chinese takeout for dinner one night when she asked me to. Thankfully, the local spot down on the corner delivers in ten minutes flat.

  Still, she’s had a lifetime of insecurities and fears
to get over, and we’ve conquered them together. I finally knew she was totally over it when she unpacked her last bag and turned in her key for her old place. No need to worry about a place to go, or needing to leave because I’ve hurt her. Since then . . .

  “Hey,” Kat teases, looking so beautiful in her dress that I have a hard time taking my eyes off her. “You’re daydreaming.”

  “Can you blame me?” I ask, taking in her peach colored curves. We’re in the back, there’s still time before the ceremony starts, and I’m helping her with last-minute adjustments. “This sort of thing . . . let’s face it, I get off on this sort of stuff.”

  Kat smiles, and turns to snuggle against me. She’s not perfect, she’s flawed and there’s always going to be those little dark places in her heart. But they’re fading day by day in the light of our love, pure and never-ending. “You big softie.”

  “Hey, I did my cardio last night.” I tease back with a wink. “At least, you didn’t complain then.”

  Kat chuckles and hugs me tighter. “Okay, time to get ready. You’re sitting up front, right?”

  “Right,” I reply, giving her another squeeze. “In fact, if I want that prime seat . . . tell your mom to have fun today. And tell Jess that you’re a far hotter bridesmaid than she is.”

  Kat smiles, and pats my chest. “Go on, no need to kiss my . . . well, not right now at least.”

  I laugh and head into the sanctuary, settling into a seat in the second row on the bride’s side. I’ve come to know most of Kat’s family, and I’m sure I’d be accepted in the front row if I asked, but I guess I’m still sort of old-fashioned that way. Front row is for family only.

  The church fills up, and when the music starts I stand along with everyone else to turn and watch the procession. When Kat comes down the aisle my mouth goes dry she’s so stunning, even though I just saw her earlier. The sunlight streams through the high stained glass window behind her, making her hair glow with inner health and beauty, truly my angel.