Forbidden Ballad - Rock My World

by Reese Summers

  “Come for me, baby,” he croons, “I want to see you fall apart beneath me.”

  That’s all I need to hear, and I’m shattering, quivering beneath him and moaning loudly. I don’t even realize that I’m saying his name again and again, until the pleasure has nearly swept me away.

  I stare into Leo’s eyes as I come, and I see a myriad of emotions pass through his gorgeous eyes. First, lust, wild, unbridled lust unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a man’s eyes. And then fear, though it’s quick. Then a look of triumph, and finally one of care.

  Leo cares for me. In this vulnerable moment of mine, I’m more certain of that than ever. Maybe I was never sure, but I know that now. He’s trying hard, and he honestly cares about me.

  He wraps me in his arms, rolling onto his back and pulling me onto his chest.

  “Carly, that was so unbelievably sexy. You have no idea,” he says, pushing a damp piece of hair off my face.

  “I’m sorry,” I manage to say, “It just felt so good.”

  He pulls back to look at me. “Are you apologizing for coming? Are you crazy?”

  I laugh shakily. “I feel bad. I didn’t mean for things to get that far. And I left you hanging…” I trail off. I’ve definitely left Leo with blue balls this time.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he murmurs. “I feel like you need a cigarette.”

  I laugh again.

  He runs his hands along my stomach and my thighs, before his hands slide around to cup my ass.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” He takes a deep breath. “Unless you plan on letting me fuck you, you better put your clothes back on.” His voice is carefully restrained, but I can tell it’s the last thing in the world he actually wants.

  “While this is very romantic,” I gesture to the room, “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

  He sighs. “I figured.”

  I’m not really sure how to respond, so I clamber off the bed and retrieve my dress from the floor. I slip it back on quickly and adjust it.

  “It’s a great dress, but I liked it better off,” he says woefully.

  I swat at him and toss him his shirt. He pulls it back over his head, and I take his hands and pull him off the bed.

  “Let’s go back out on the deck,” I say, dragging him out of the room. He gives one last look of longing around the room, clearly hoping for more, but I hold firm. He nods and follows me.

  ~~~

  “I’ll miss you!” I cry, throwing my arms around Quinn. She hugs me tightly.

  “I’ll miss you, too. Have so much fun! I promise to see the show when you come through New York.”

  I give her a final squeeze and walk towards my pile of suitcases.

  “Keep in touch!” she calls.

  “I will!”

  I sling the duffel bag across my chest, as well as the other small bag, and then grab the two handles of my suitcases, and slowly roll them behind me. Once I get out of the elevator downstairs, I see my car, and the driver jumps out quickly to load my bags.

  Leo was more than thoughtful in sending a car to take me out to the tour buses, and I was only sad that we couldn’t ride together. I didn’t need to be at the buses until one in the afternoon, but Leo had to be there earlier to talk with Mark.

  It was a glorious day in the city, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I watched the now-familiar buildings roll past me as we made our way out of Manhattan, and my stay seemed much longer than three weeks. We started Cobalt’s tour in Boston tomorrow night, and I knew things between Leo and I were going to slow down just as they seemed to be heating up.

  I know I had given Leo three dates to decide if I had wanted to pursue things further, and who was I kidding? Of course I wanted to take them farther. Amber had been a little distant the past few days, and when I pressed her about it, she refused to say. For some reason, I had a feeling that it had to do with Leo. I know she was close to the former back up singer, and I had wondered if she was upset that it was me going on tour and not her friend.

  I got lost in thought thinking about Leo and the tour, and before I knew it, we were pulling up to the huge parking lot in New Jersey where the tour was loading. There were a number of cars, trucks and buses. Feeling frightened, and out of place, I got out of the car and began collecting my luggage.

  The buses were lined up, and I knew that I was on Bus number Six, along with Amber and two of the make up girls. I found the bus, and began dragging my bags up the stairs.

  “Hey,” Amber said. She was standing on her tiptoes, stuffing a box of crackers into the cabinets.

  “Hi. This is great!” The bus was fully furnished inside with a small kitchen and living space. In the back, I could see two small doors.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. This bus has two bedrooms! You and I are in the one on the left, and Ginny and Mae Li are in the other one.”

  “Thanks!” I drag my bags to the back to start to unpack. There are two beds, almost like bunk beds, built into the wall and they have curtains across them. I take the lower one since Amber seems to have claimed the top one. I take to putting my stuff away, and before I’m finished, I feel the bus start to move.

  Damn. I was hoping to maybe see Leo. I’ll definitely see him tonight, but I didn’t want to wait that long.

  After I finish unpacking, I join Amber, Ginny and Mae Li out front, and we make ourselves sandwiches. The ride to Boston only takes a few hours, and before I know it, we’re at TD Garden. I glance out the window, and already see that stuff is being unloaded.

  We hop out to begin scoping the scene and then slip inside where we see that most of the set has already been built.

  “Get those girls in make up,” someone barks as they walk past us, and Ginny and Mae Li look confused.

  “We’re starting dress rehearsal in an hour.”

  “Shit,” Mae Li swears under her breath. “I didn’t know we were starting so soon.”

  We all hurry back to the bus, where Mae Li and Ginny grab their arsenal of makeup supplies, and Amber and I grab our few things. We find out way to our cramped dressing room, and the women set to work to make Amber and I beautiful.

  We have finally arrived.

  ~~~

  I cross my legs at the table and Leo absentmindedly runs his fingers over my thigh. I don’t object. It feels incredible and this is the first time that I’ve been alone with Leo in a week.

  “I’m so sorry that we didn’t see each other much last week,” he apologizes for what feels like the one-millionth time.

  “Leo, it’s fine. I told you that already.”

  I was a little upset by it, but I refused to make an issue over it. I knew I was being high maintenance. The Cobalt tour had started, and it was a type of insanity that I had not prepared for. Nothing could have prepared me for it actually.

  The more I thought about it, it was probably best that I hadn’t seen Leo, because it had given me some time to adjust to being on tour with the biggest rock band in the world, and to get used to the panties and bras that were chucked onstage every night, and the countless women that tried to sneak back to Leo’s dressing room.

  The first two nights I had cried after I had gone to bed, thinking that I was not cut out for this. Leo and I had never declared we were anything official, and watching women throw themselves at him was hard to see. I had never seen Leo give any of the women a second glance, and I could only hope that he wasn’t doing anything that I didn’t know about.

  Of course, what right did I have to even think that because Leo and I were not exclusive. But I felt like we had an unspoken understanding that there was no one else while we were exploring things between one another.

  “But it had to be such a culture shock for you, and I wasn’t around.”

  “Leo, let it go.”

  My voice is harder than I intended, but he gets the message and leaves it alone. A few seconds later, the waiter brings our pizza out and Leo grins.

  “Wait till you try this. Best deep dish in Chi
cago.”

  I eagerly take a slice and dig in.

  Mmmmm.

  He’s right; it’s the best pizza I have ever had.

  “How did you find this place?” I ask, my mouth full.

  “Maddox actually. He’s from Chicago.”

  I nod and chew. We were in Chicago for the day before we did a show at night. We had tried spending the morning at Navy Pier, but the crowds following us had been so crazy that we finally gave up decided to have lunch at a pizza place Leo suggested.

  I was glad to finally have Leo to myself. I began to fear that maybe I had imagined everything; maybe we never had any chemistry and that I had fabricated the whole thing in my mind. It wouldn’t surprise me. I had literally gone off the deep end in the last month, and a psychotic break would have been expected.

  “Do you like the tour?” Leo asks, already done with his first slice and moving on to a second.

  “I do. It took a few nights to adjust to the crowds,” I shoot Leo a dirty look, “and the slutty dress I have to wear.”

  Leo gives me a sly grin. “I had nothing to do with that, but I’ve been meaning to thank the costume people.”

  I can’t help but laugh. Amber and I dressed in ridiculously short dresses, with tons of cut outs and sky-high heels. We’ve been assured that we look great onstage, but I feel like a streetwalker when I go out every night.

  “So,” I start shyly, “being serious here, how often can I expect to see you on this tour?”

  Leo puts his slice down and studies me. His hair is messy in just the right way, and my fingers twitch to touch him. His eyes are bright aquamarine today, and I’ve found myself staring at him even more than normal.

  “It shouldn’t be this crazy,” he says honestly. “It’s just the initial week or two. Things will calm down and then you and I should be able to get some time together every day or two.” He stops. “Unless you don’t want that.”

  “I do want that,” I say honestly, “but I know that you’re surrounded by women. I’m not an insecure person by nature, but my guard is up.” I don’t have to say Walker’s name because Leo knows. “I just don’t want to stop you if there are other things you want to do on tour.”

  “Meaning do I want to fuck other women?”

  I swallow hard and nod.

  “I’ve done that. I don’t mean to be crass, but I have. You’re a challenge and I like it. I’m hoping you’re not going to make me hold out much longer, and you’re killing me in that little skirt today, but we’re doing things on your terms.”

  I blush when he mentions my skirt. I worried it was too short, but then I didn’t care.

  “But if things change, tell me.” I say quietly. “I’d rather you tell me, then I find out the hard way.”

  “Carly,” he says, and his voice rings sincere. “I’m not going anywhere until you send me away.” He gives me a wry grin, “I’d say I’m pussy whipped but…”

  I slap his forearm and he smirks.

  We finish up lunch and just as we try to decide what to do next, Leo’s phone goes off.

  “Shit. I need to take this. It’s Mark.”

  He answers the phone and then I see his face change instantly.

  “What?”

  I look at him with alarm.

  “Well, what the hell are we going to do?” he growls, “We go on in five hours!”

  There’s silence as he listens to Mark.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Who are we going to find with this short of notice?”

  He looks at me. “Eden just had to leave and fly home for some family emergency.”

  Crap. Eden is the opening act and comprised of three brothers. If there was a family emergency, the entire band disappeared.

  Leo is still listening to Mark, but now he’s surveying me as if with new eyes. It makes me uncomfortable and I shift in my seat.

  “I guess,” Leo says slowly, “I never thought of that.”

  He’s quiet again and I can’t imagine what Mark is saying.

  “Yeah, yeah, I trust you if you’ve listened to it. Let me run it past her.” He takes the phone away from his ear and looks at me. “Mark thinks that you’re our best bet for opening the show tonight. He says that he’s listened to your CD and you’ve got a great voice.”

  I balk. “I can’t go on!” Panic consumes me.

  I can hear Mark yelling through the line. Leo brings the phone back to his ear and then after a few seconds hands it to me.

  “He wants to talk to you.”

  With shaky hands, I take the phone.

  “Hey Mark.”

  “Hey sweetie. I hate to do this to you because I’m sure you feel unprepared, but we need you to go on tonight. You’re the only one we have who can pull this off.”

  “What about Amber?” I ask lamely.

  “Come on, Carly! This is a huge opportunity for you. And let’s be honest, Amber can’t sing like you. I listened to your latest CD and you sing the shit out of your songs.”

  “You want me to sing my songs?”

  “Well, not exactly. I was thinking that you could do a few rock covers, and then a few of your own songs, but with a rock twist.”

  I gulp. “A twist? I’m so used to the way they are.”

  “I know. That’s why I need you to come back right this second, so we can run your stuff. I’ve already brought in a band and they’ve been working on two of your songs.”

  “Mark, I don’t know! Am I even allowed to sing my own music?”

  He laughs. “It’s your music, honey. And there’s no law saying you can’t sing it.”

  I think back to my last conversation with Stanley. Did he say I wasn’t allowed to sing my own music? I don’t think so.

  I glance at Leo, and he nods at me encouragingly. I take a deep breath and steel myself.

  “Okay, Mark. We’ll be there soon.”

  I hand the phone back to Leo and they talk quickly before he hangs up. Leo leaves a wad of bills on the table and we hurry from the restaurant. We get into the car that we’ve been using all day and that’s when I start to freak out.

  “I don’t know if I can do this! I’m not ready!”

  “You’ll do great!”

  His phone dings and he opens an email.

  “Here look over this list of songs. Come up with three that you would be comfortable with singing.”

  I freak out more when I see the list. They are all female rock songs. At first, I feel like I don’t know any of them, but once I calm down, I realize that I know a lot of the songs. I try to relax and decide on three songs that will work best. I finally choose songs by Kelly Clarkson, Pink and Alanis Morisette. They’re all songs that I know well, and I know I can sing them.

  Leo calls Mark back to give him my choices and then we sit in silence for the rest of the ride. Leo reaches out and takes my hand.

  “What if I suck?” I whisper, as we’re getting out of the car.

  “You won’t. Do you want me to come out there while you rehearse?”

  The thought turns my stomach. I don’t want Leo to hear me as I try to muddle through this music.

  I pale and shake my head. “No thank you.”

  He nods and gives me a tight squeeze.

  “Knock ‘em dead, baby,” he teases, before leaving me at the arena door and heading back to his bus.

  I hurry inside and find Mark.

  “Good!” he calls out when he sees me. “Let’s get started!”

  He introduces me to the band, and I forget their names almost instantly because I’m so nervous.

  We start muddling through the music, and I’m surprised by how quickly I’m able to get the rock songs down.

  My songs are a different story. It’s difficult because I’m so used to singing the songs with a bit of twang, but the rock vibe of the accompaniment helps me figure out how to change my style.

  We run through everything a few times, before Mark stops us.

  “I think we’ve got it,” he says, “I don’t want you to blow out
your voice.”

  I nod. Right. I have to open the show and sing back up.

  I think I might vomit.

  Mark gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Why don’t you head back to Wardrobe and let them pick you out something. You’ll have a few minutes to run backstage and change before you need to be out for Cobalt.”

  I nod, still dazed, and make my way to wardrobe. I quickly pull out my phone and call Quinn.

  “Hey!” she exclaims. “How are you?”

  “Holy crap, Quinn, I’m freaking out. Our opening act left today and I have to fill in and open the entire show.”

  “Oh my god! Are you serious? That’s unbelievable, Carly!”

  “But I’m freaking out. Like, seriously freaking out!”

  “I’m sure you are, but this is amazing. This is huge!”

  I nod even though Quinn can’t see me. “What if I screw up though?”

  “Carly, you’re not going to screw up,” she says sternly. “Really! You were in a band for almost five years. You’ve played tons of live shows. If there’s anything you know how to do, it’s sing. Just go out there and be yourself and sing the crap out of the songs.”

  “Right, right, I can do this.” I know that I’m trying to convince myself.

  “You can do this. Oh my god,” she gushes again, “I want to hear all about it when you’re finished!”

  I’m just outside the door for wardrobe. “Okay, okay. I’ve got to go now though. Thanks for the quick pep talk.”

  “Anytime! Love you!”

  I hang up and head into wardrobe. Fifteen minutes later, I’m leaving with a dress that is both sexy but not as slutty as my Cobalt dress. In fact, I’m really happy with the choice. It’s a deep plum shade, with a sexy sheer panel on the waist, but isn’t so short that my ass practically hangs out.

  My call is earlier now, so I head back for hair and makeup. I sip at water, feeling like I’m going to get sick the entire time. I know that Leo will be listening and probably watching from the wings and the butterflies in my stomach are almost more than I can handle. I just need to get out on the stage and focus on nothing but the music.