Dark Thoughts

by Cynthia Sax

  They exited the structure, strolled aimlessly around the Refuge.

  Zeb, the leader of the settlers, preached in front of the market. He told residents they were doomed to an afterlife of nothingness, his tirades on violence and the carrying of weapons annoying all but two of the passersby.

  Azalea, the young settler female, was more confused than irritated. She had been taught to abhor violence yet lusted after Hulagu, Kralj’s unwanted protégé.

  Sari, the breeding female, was too focused on Azalea to be annoyed by the settler leader’s speeches. She was certain her destiny was to protect the girl, to make amends for the death she’d caused, but she didn’t know how to do that.

  Kralj sympathized with her situation. He wanted his world to go back to normal and didn’t know how to accomplish that either.

  “Dita changes nothing.” He addressed one of Orol’s unspoken concerns. “You remain my second-in-command.”

  “She’s a female.” Orol raised his eyebrows. “Females tend to change everything.”

  “She won’t.” His relationship with Dita wouldn’t affect his routine within the settlement. “She’ll obey me.”

  “I hope, for your sake, she doesn’t,” the winged male muttered. “You need some disruption in your lifespan.”

  No, he didn’t need that. Disruption resulted in death.

  Orol didn’t understand that because he didn’t know the full extent of Kralj’s powers. The male hadn’t seen the carnage he could cause with one lapse of control.

  If Kralj had his way, he never would.

  He walked away, not addressing Orol’s comments.

  Chapter Eight

  Dita had spent her lifespan training, hunting, killing, always being active. She paced around the chamber, surveying her surroundings, looking for something to do.

  Other than the thresholds to the first chamber and to the cleansing chamber, there were no other points of entry, no doors to the exterior of the structure. The ceilings were high and open with no crawl space, the beams exposed. The walls were solid, designed to withstand a massive earthquake.

  Or contain her master’s considerable power.

  She opened one of the compartments hidden within the walls and her eyes widened with delight. Kralj had a wonderful collection of primitive weapons, the various killing, torturing and restraining devices originating from all over the universe, from multiple time periods.

  They were beautiful, unique, and practical. She spun blades in her hands. The daggers were perfectly balanced.

  Liking what Kralj had done in the first chamber, she arranged some of the weapons on the walls. The selection and arrangement took time. She wanted the battle gear to be decorative yet easy to reach, concentrating first on the wall behind the sleeping support.

  Assuming they’d be sharing that sleeping support, she allocated the portion closest to the exit to him. He hadn’t ended her lifespan. That deserved a reward. Dita would give her new master the first opportunity to kill invaders.

  She decorated that section of the wall with the larger, heavier weapons. Kralj was stronger than she was and could wield them.

  She modified the weapons she chose for herself, blackening the blades and hilts, adjusting them to better fit her hands. They were tested, a large shield positioned on the far wall as a target. Dita rolled and threw daggers, swung from the overhead beams and shot projectiles at the circle of metal, aiming for the center.

  Sweat dripped down her spine. A grin spread across her face. She ran and jumped and practiced removing the weapons from the wall, killing imaginary targets as she moved.

  Dita was hanging naked from a ceiling beam when Kralj returned. She punched holes in the embarrassingly inadequate shield with projectiles from the gun she’d found hidden under an ancient Earth helmet.

  Kralj stood on the threshold to the sleeping chamber, her body covering and weapons in his hands. He gazed at her and then at the shield. “I was told that was valuable.”

  “Valuable?” Dita snorted. “It doesn’t stop shit.”

  He shrugged, didn’t otherwise move, didn’t speak.

  “I survived my first planet rotation of incarceration.” She grinned at him.

  “It’s where you belong, where monsters like us should be.” His mouth was grimly set, his eyes bleak. “Locked up, unable to harm others.”

  He was in a pissy mood. “If you feel that way, handsome, I’m surprised you escaped from the Humanoid Alliance.” She couldn’t resist goading him. “They must have locked you up tight when you weren’t working for them.”

  “They didn’t have the ability to lock me up.” His tone was arrogant. “And I escaped because they pushed me too far.” Kralj touched the scars on his face. “I don’t respond well to that.”

  He was threatening her, hinting that she was pushing him too far.

  Dita studied him. He needed to feed or fuck.

  She was willing to give him one or the other or both. “I like pushing you.”

  She somersaulted through the air and landed on his shoulders, her legs straddling his neck, her pussy pressing against his nape.

  “No.” He reached behind him, grabbed her by the right arm and flung her onto the sleeping support.

  She shrieked and bounced, more surprised that afraid. Kralj wouldn’t hurt her. Much.

  “Don’t touch me. My restraint is…frayed.” He set her body covering and weapons on the horizontal support closest to the wall.

  “That’s for your things, not mine.” She pointed out.

  He glared at her.

  “Master,” she added, trying to appease him.

  Kralj moved her things to the horizontal support she’d claimed. The body covering had been cleaned. The weapons had been polished. She suspected he was responsible for that.

  Dita set her gun aside. “If your restraint is frayed, then I really should touch you.” She reached out with her right foot, placing it on his leather-clad thigh.

  He shuddered and his eyes blazed. Her male was in a bad way.

  “I need your help with this, little one.” He turned away from her, facing the wall. “I lose control when you touch me.”

  “And that’s bad?”

  “That’s very bad.” He clenched his hands behind his back. “Beings die.”

  “But—”

  “Everyone dies.” Kralj turned toward her. “Good, bad, innocent, guilty, young, old. It doesn’t matter who they are and you want to know how they die?”

  “You rip out their throats.” She’d seen him kill.

  “I rip out their throats when I’m in control, when I allow my beast to feed. It can be sated. This cannot.” He tapped his scarred forehead. “This kills everyone. One uncontrolled thought and all structures are flattened, every being in this settlement, friend or foe, explodes.”

  Stars. She stared at him, impressed. He knew he had this ability because he’d done it. He’d killed entire settlements with one errant thought.

  “You don’t want to see that part of me.”

  He didn’t want that. She read that truth in his eyes. “You can’t hurt me.”

  “I can’t hurt you.” The severe set of his jaw eased. “But you and I would be the only survivors.”

  That was why the Refuge embraced the most violent beings on the planet, she realized. If he lost control, other beings, outsiders, would view that as a service. It would be a purge of the killers, the corrupt, the evil.

  “Focus on me as you did on the wall and in the alleyway.” She laid back on the sleeping support and spread her thighs, determined to help him. “No one died then.”

  Stone had rocked and the wind had howled but no lifespans had ended.

  “This isn’t a game.” Kralj showed his fangs, the hurt in his voice genuine.

  Her smile faded. She hadn’t meant to trivialize his pain. “Your monster has needs—it needs to eat and it needs to breed. Denying those needs will only make them stronger.”

  “My beast has those needs, not my monste
r.” He looked at her, his eyes dark and hungry.

  “Your beast has those needs,” Dita amended. “Tell me your rules.” She would try to adhere to them. “When you were with other females, how did you control yourself?”

  “My beast has never wanted another female.”

  He only lost control with her. Dita blinked, trying to wrap her mind around that concept. For much of her lifespan, she’d thought of herself as less feminine. He viewed her as more.

  That was because he didn’t know the truth. She skimmed her palm over the scar ranging from above her navel to her mons.

  “You can restrain me.” Being restrained scared her. Before she met Kralj, her last memory of being strapped down, unable to move was when the Assassin’s Guild had operated on her. But she’d submit to being restrained if it helped him. “That way, I won’t touch you.”

  “The restraints hurt you.” He retrieved them from one of the wall compartments.

  “You eased that pain.” His nanohumanics bubbled inside her. “Can I talk to you? Is that acceptable? Can I tell you how wet my pussy is, how ready I am to take your big cock?”

  “Don’t play with me, Dita.” He hastily bound her wrists, tying her to the sleeping support. “I won’t be gentle with you.”

  “That’s what you said on the wall.” She spread her legs, allowing him to tie them in place. “You didn’t scare me then and you don’t scare me now.” She tested her restraints. They held. “Remove your garments for this fuck. I want to see all of you.”

  “I have more scars.” He kicked off his boots.

  “Your scars make me hot.” She gave him her most seductive smile. “Show them to me.”

  His rumble shook the walls.

  He was losing control.

  “Don’t send that sexy energy elsewhere, master.” She met his gaze. His beast gleamed in the depths of his eyes, arousingly savage. “Focus it all on me.”

  He shrugged out of his long coat. “I’ll give you all of me, whether you want it or not.”

  The leather fell to the floor. Angry red scars ran over one of his shoulders, down that arm. The rest of his body was tanned, muscular, lean, lickable.

  “I can take all of you.” She lifted her hips. “Don’t hold back.”

  “I won’t.” He stripped off his ass coverings. “I can’t, not with you.”

  His cock was hard. A bead of pre-cum glistened on his tip. He was as ready as she was.

  Kralj might be part humanoid, part beast, but he was all male, and in this moment, all hers. Her pussy dripped, her yearning for him increasing exponentially. She allowed her lust to show, openly admiring him, the breadth of his shoulders, the trimness of his hips, his warrior stance.

  “Only you would find this appealing.” He swept one of his hands over his marred face, shoulder, arm.

  “I don’t find you appealing.”

  His body stiffened.

  “That’s too weak a word for how I feel.” She looked him over, relishing his fit form. “You devastate my senses, make me forget who I am, what my purpose in this universe is. I want you on top of me, inside me, your cock in my pussy, your fangs in my neck.”

  His growl started soft, grew louder and louder and louder, until he sprang on her. Skin slapped against skin. Fangs dragged over her neck. Rigid shaft pressed against her bare mons.

  He clutched her shoulders and moved over her, nuzzling, rubbing, covering her with his muscle, his warmth, his scent.

  “Yes. Take me. Master me.” She moaned, undulating under him, pulling on her bindings. Her nipples brushed along his chest, the contact stimulating them.

  His cockhead bumped against her pussy lips, teasing her. He found her entrance and pushed deep, stretching her open, the fullness divine.

  As Kralj invaded her pussy, he claimed her neck. His fangs broke skin, sending pain shooting along her form. He sank into her flesh.

  She wiggled, struggling to be free, but not truly wanting that. Another rumble rolled up his chest. He sucked on her neck while he pounded into her pussy with his cock, his enthusiasm, strength, hardness exciting.

  Dita heated all over, her neck, breasts, hips, thighs. Her wrists and ankles burned. That pain accentuated her pleasure. For her, an assassin, a being who associated accomplishment with killing, worthiness with self-sacrifice, the hurt felt right. The bliss would be hard fought for, earned.

  Kralj took her again and again, plunging into her up to his base and retreating. The sleeping support rocked. The weapons on the walls rattled.

  He was still holding back.

  Dita licked the scars on his face and his head lifted, his gaze meeting hers. Blood dripped down his chin, his expression feral.

  “I want it all, Kralj.” She told him. “Give it to me.”

  “It’s yours.” He claimed her neck again, rutting into her, appeasing his inhuman appetites with her body, utilizing her unique gift, her untouchable mind to contain his great power.

  The wind in the chamber eased while the humming in her pussy escalated. Never had she been used like this, thoroughly, completely, his passion unrivalled.

  Kralj ravished her relentlessly, advancing, retreating, advancing, retreating. His muscles rippled. His chest heaved. Every third thrust, he swiveled his hips, grinding against her clit.

  Dita whimpered, dangerously close to fulfillment. Moisture streamed between her breasts. She didn’t know if it was sweat or blood. She didn’t care. It felt so good. She didn’t want him to ever stop.

  Then he did. Abruptly.

  As she teetered on the edge of orgasm, Kralj pulled out, roaring his release. The shield above the sleeping support dented, the clang of metal bending echoing in the chamber. He bathed her stomach with his cum, his face contorted with an ecstasy only he felt.

  “You-you monster.” She glared at him, furious, her body, mind, heart aching with his betrayal. “I was close to coming.”

  “That was why I withdrew.” He collapsed next to her. Sexual satisfaction, something she certainly wasn’t feeling, softened his normally stark features. “If you had come, I would have also.” He cupped her mons, the action half-hearted. “I’ll finish you off.”

  “Don’t you dare finish me off.” She squirmed, unable to escape him. Because he’d fuckin’ restrained her. The bastard. “Did you know you were going to pull that stunt? Was that why you tied me up?”

  “You volunteered to be tied up.” His tone was dry.

  He was right. She had volunteered.

  Because she had been thinking of him, of his control issues.

  He clearly hadn’t been thinking of her. Dita glowered at him

  “Don’t look at me that way, little one.” Kralj stroked her, giving her his fingers when she wanted his cock. Her arousal returned but her irritation didn’t go away.

  “You can’t get me pregnant.” She suspected that was his reason for stopping.

  He pushed two of his fingers inside her and she inhaled sharply. “I might have already done that but I won’t take any additional chances.” He pumped her slowly.

  She struggled to focus on their conversation. “You haven’t already done that because—”

  “You don’t know I haven’t done that.” He rolled off the sleeping support and stood, taking his fingers away from her also, denying her satisfaction yet again. “I won’t bring another monster like me into this universe. If I had the strength I would rid it of me.”

  “Then I’m glad you don’t have that strength.” She’d known him for mere planet rotations and couldn’t contemplate a universe without him in it. “I can’t get pregnant, Kralj.”

  If she wanted an orgasm, she had to share that secret.

  “I was designed to be super potent.” He paced back and forth. The air swirled around him. “Even if that part of you is damaged in some way, my nanohumanics could heal you.”

  “They can’t heal what isn’t there.”

  He stopped, turned, looked at her. “What are you saying?”

  “First, release
me.” She wouldn’t have the most brutal conversation of her lifespan while she was tied up, unable to escape his judgment.

  Kralj hesitated for a moment. She felt his gaze on her downturned face but she refused to look upward, to meet it.

  He complied, freeing her from the bindings.

  Dita moved away from him, not allowing him to ease the redness around her wrists and ankles. She needed to put distance between them, to safeguard a portion of herself.

  “You say your beast wants me.” She touched the long scar on her stomach. “I doubt that’s true because animals can tell when a female is fertile and I’m not.”

  “You don’t know—”

  “I do know that.” She snapped, tired of his pushback, of his arrogant belief that he could fix everything. He couldn’t fix her. She was too badly broken. “I won’t be fertile. Ever. I’m not normal.” That dream of hers would never become a reality. “I’m not even a true female. There’s nothing for your nanohumanics to mend. The Assassin’s Guild removed that part of me.”

  He didn’t say anything.

  What was there to say? Dita hugged herself. She was a freak.

  “They did that to ensure I remained focused, dedicated to the craft.” They hadn’t given her a choice. The planet rotation she celebrated twelve solar cycles, they’d operated on her.

  Once she’d realized what was happening, she’d fought her fellow Guild members. She was unsuccessful. There were too many of them. She hadn’t been the skilled assassin she was now.

  They’d quashed her efforts easily, strapped her to a horizontal support, gave her prolongers so she would be conscious the entire time they took her apart.

  That experience left a scar on her stomach and an even deeper one on her mind. The Guild removed not only the part of her that had made her female but the part of her that had made her human. On that planet rotation, she became a monster, destined to be alone.

  “I’m not your female or anyone else’s.” That sense of belonging was a fantasy also, unobtainable for a female like her. “The Assassin’s Guild made me what I am, the only thing I will ever be—a killer, an assassin.”