A Mother by Nature

by Caroline Anderson

  Or maybe not. A shudder ran through him, and he lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes, his own filled with fire.

  ‘I want you,’ he said, his voice uneven. ‘Make love with me, Anna. I need you.’

  Adam’s honesty tore through her, and her arms wrapped around him and held him close to her heart. His head dropped against her shoulder, his lips pressed firmly against the soft skin of her throat, and he stood there for several seconds without moving. Then he lifted his head and gave her a crooked little smile.

  ‘We’ve got a dance to finish,’ he murmured, and peeled the gossamer tights away. He lifted her and laid her in the middle of the bed, and then he kissed her, every inch of her, his touch gentle and reverent, until she wanted to weep with longing.

  Finally, when she thought she’d die without him, he moved over her, his body trembling under her hands, and then he hesitated, poised over her, their eyes locked.

  ‘I love you,’ he said softly, and then her body welcomed him, and she knew she could never love anyone more than she loved this man…

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘I HAVE to go.’

  Anna opened her eyes and looked up into Adam’s sombre face. His eyes were troubled. ‘I know,’ she murmured.

  ‘I’m sorry. You know I’d stay if I could.’

  She nodded. ‘It’s all right, I do understand.’

  He kissed her, then levered himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

  She watched him as he stood up and walked to the door, retrieving his briefs on the way. ‘I have no idea where my clothes are,’ he said with a wry grin.

  ‘Just follow the trail,’ she suggested, and blew him a kiss.

  A few minutes later he reappeared, dressed, and came and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘I think I’ve found everything,’ he said. His eyes were still shadowed with regret. His head descended slowly, blocking out the mellow, golden glow of the candles, and his mouth touched hers. ‘I’ll see you on Monday morning. Look after yourself.’

  ‘You, too.’

  He ran lightly down the stairs, and then a moment later she heard the front door closing, then the sound of his car starting outside in the street. She looked at the bedside clock. It was three-fifteen. They’d been home less than two hours.

  She told herself she was being greedy, wanting more of him, but she missed him already. She lay down with her head where his had rested on the pillow and breathed deeply, inhaling the faint scent of his aftershave and something more individual, something just Adam.

  Her arms felt empty, but her heart was full. He loved her. He’d said so. That must surely be progress?

  She curled up on her side, tugging the quilt round her to keep her warm, and eventually she fell asleep.

  When she woke, the candles had burned right down, and the sun was shining through the crack in the curtains. She looked at her watch. Nine-thirty. Only six hours’ sleep, and yet she felt wonderful. She threw off the quilt, pulled on her robe and went downstairs, picking up the trail of discarded clothing as she went.

  Her toe hit something, and she looked down to see a small leather wallet on the floor. Adam’s. She bent and picked it up, hefting it in her hand. He’d need it today—he might go and fill the car up with petrol and then realise he didn’t have it, or spend hours searching for it.

  She’d take it round. It was no trouble, and it was a good excuse to see him again. She took a cup of tea with her to the bath, drank it while she soaked in the lovely hot water and then washed and dressed in record time.

  She left the house by ten, and arrived at Adam’s shortly afterwards. His car was the only one on the drive, so she turned in there and pulled up beside it. His parents must have gone. Good. She didn’t need an inquisition this morning, and she was sure he didn’t either.

  She hoped he was up. She tipped her head back and looked at the windows, and saw his curtains open. Good. She didn’t want to wake him if they were all still asleep, but she didn’t think it was likely. Children woke up revoltingly early, on the whole.

  She rang the doorbell, listening to it echoing down the hall, and a moment later the door swung open to reveal an elegant, grey-haired woman in her sixties. His mother. It must be. Oh, yipes. She thought they’d gone, as the car wasn’t there. She’d just assumed—

  ‘Can I help you, dear?’ the woman asked, and she conjured up a smile.

  ‘Yes. Is Adam in?’

  ‘He is—he’s in the garden with the children, building a bonfire. Hold on, I’ll get him.’

  She was about to turn away when Anna stopped her. ‘It’s all right—I’ve got his wallet. He dropped it in my house last night. Perhaps you could just give it to him?’

  The woman searched her face slowly, then smiled. ‘You must be Anna—come in, dear. Give it to him yourself, I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see you. I’ve just made a big pot of tea, actually. Perhaps you’ll join us, or are you a coffee person?’

  Anna found herself in the kitchen, clutching a couple of mugs and being ushered toward the table. ‘Sit down, I’ll get him. Adam? Adam, it’s for you. Anna.’

  He came in, and did a mild double take. ‘Hi—I thought you were on the phone.’

  ‘You dropped your wallet,’ she said, suddenly feeling guilty for allowing his mother to talk her into staying. ‘In the hall. I thought you’d want it. Your mother gave me a cup of tea.’

  ‘I can imagine,’ he said drily, and gave a wry grin. ‘Thanks for bringing my wallet round. It was good of you. I would have missed it later.’

  Adam hooked a chair out with his foot and sat down, cradling the mug in his hands. ‘I was just telling my father about Lissa’s stripping party,’ he said, not looking at all worried that she was there, ensconced uninvited in his breakfast room. ‘Do you think anyone would come?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Anna said instantly. ‘I’m sure they would, just out of curiosity. It’s a sort of alternative house-warming, isn’t it?’

  He laughed. ‘I suppose so—very alternative. I hardly know most of these people, though. Why would they bother?’

  ‘Because they’re nice? Because they like doing things to help and to make people welcome? Because they’ll do anything for a free meal? When were you thinking of?’

  He gave a short laugh. ‘I wasn’t, really. It sounds like bedlam. I’m not sure I can stand more than one room at a time in chaos.’

  Anna looked round her and raised an eyebrow. ‘Nothing on the walls is better than what’s there now—but you might need a crack-filling party to follow it!’

  ‘Don’t.’

  His mother entered the room behind him, trying hard to look casual and failing dismally. ‘Biscuit, anyone?’

  ‘No, thanks, I’ve only just had breakfast. Anna?’

  ‘I’d love one. I sort of forgot breakfast today.’ In my haste to get here. Oh, dear.

  ‘I’ll get them. More tea, Anna? Adam, do you want a top-up, darling?’

  ‘No, thanks,’ they said together, and their eyes locked and they smiled.

  ‘Stay for lunch,’ he said impulsively, and so she did, and they planned the stripping party, and finished building the bonfire, and before they knew what was going on it was night-time and she had to go.

  ‘Thank you for today,’ she said as he saw her off at the door. They were in the porch, in the space between the inner and outer doors, and although the doors had stained glass in them, the light in the porch wasn’t on and so they had an element of privacy.

  ‘It’s been a pleasure,’ he said, and, as if he couldn’t help himself, he lowered his head and kissed her. It was only a brief kiss, but there was enough heat bottled up in it to keep her warm all the way home.

  What had he been thinking about, asking Anna for lunch? She’d stayed all day, and it had been torture. He’d wanted to hold her, and touch her, and his mother’s eagle eyes had missed nothing.

  Neither had the children’s, and in the bath after she’d gone the boys were grilling him.

&n
bsp; ‘She’s nice—why can’t she come and live with us instead of Helle?’

  ‘Yes, why can’t she? I don’t like Helle.’

  ‘Yes, you do, Jasper,’ Adam said firmly, taking a flannel and scrubbing it over his grubby little hands.

  ‘I don’t. She’s not as nice as Anna.’

  Adam had to agree privately, but it didn’t make his life any easier. ‘She’s got a job,’ he told them, going back to the original issue while he lathered. ‘She can’t come and work for us.’

  ‘She could just stay.’

  ‘She’s got a house.’

  ‘We’ve got a house. I bet her house isn’t as big as our house.’

  No, Adam thought, but it’s warm and cosy and it’s a peaceful haven compared to this. He lifted Jasper out of the bath, wrapped him in a towel and gave Danny a helping hand out.

  ‘You could ask her,’ Danny persisted. ‘I bet you haven’t asked her.’

  ‘No, I haven’t and, what’s more, I’m not going to. Helle’s going anyway, remember, and we’re getting another au pair. She’s coming soon.’

  Not soon enough, though. Helle was starting to drive him mad. She often failed to come back after the weekend—like this weekend, for instance. She would probably turn up at eight tomorrow morning, after he wanted to be at the hospital, and it would be a logistical nightmare.

  He’d probably have to take the children round to his parents and leave them to drop them at school—which meant getting them up early, getting their snacks organised, finding all the things for their school bags. It was hell, and all because Helle couldn’t be bothered to come back when she was supposed to.

  ‘Skye?’ he called, sticking his head out of the bathroom door. ‘Your turn, darling.’

  ‘Coming.’

  He pulled Jasper’s pyjama top on over his head, cleaned his teeth, trundled him into the loo next door for a last visit and returned to Danny who was just rinsing out the toothpaste. ‘What about your hair? Want me to rub it dry?’

  He stood in front of Adam obediently, allowing him to towel it. Then, when it was dry enough for the night, he looked Adam straight in the eye and said, without warning, ‘I think you should ask her.’

  ‘Me, too,’ Jasper said, pulling up his pyjama trousers as he reappeared.

  ‘Ask who what?’ Skye said, coming into the overcrowded bathroom behind Jasper.

  ‘Nothing. Come on, boys, let Skye have her bath in peace.’

  He bundled them out of the room, went back in five minutes later and washed Skye’s hair for her, then helped her dry it and combed it carefully through.

  A mother’s job, he thought sadly, and swallowed the lump that came out of nowhere. Damn Lyn. Damn her, damn David, damn both of them.

  ‘Ouch!’

  ‘Sorry, darling,’ he said, instantly contrite. He had to stop himself from hugging her automatically, and instead stroked her head where he’d tugged a tangle. ‘I wasn’t concentrating.’ He finished her hair more carefully, then rinsed round the bath and hung up the damp towels while Skye cleaned her teeth.

  Ten minutes later they were all kissed and settled, and he poured himself a much-needed glass of wine and sat down in front of the television.

  It couldn’t hold his attention. All he could think about was Anna, and how she’d danced with him last night, and that he’d told her he loved her.

  He hadn’t meant to do that. He’d meant to keep it to himself, but he’d fouled up. She’d looked so lovely, her face delicately flushed with passion, her eyes soft, her touch so tender—it had cut through his defences, and dragged the truth from him. She’d deserved the truth, and he’d given it to her, but she deserved more than that.

  She deserved the follow-up, the next course, the icing on the cake, and he couldn’t give her that.

  No matter how much he might long to.

  Little Emily Parker was the worst case of brittle bone disease Anna had ever seen. She’d been immobilised in casts over the weekend, but now Adam was going to try and pin her leg. If successful, he would straighten and pin the other one by cutting the bone into little pieces, rearranging them in a straight line and putting a pin through them. ‘Like stringing beads on a knitting needle,’ he explained to them.

  ‘Will it be better then?’ Emily asked in her curiously flat voice. She was deaf as well, from the damage to the little bones in her inner ear, and it just compounded her problems.

  ‘I hope so,’ Adam told her honestly. ‘I’ll do my best, and I’m good at what I do, but I can still only do what I can. I will try for you, though. I think the arm would be better in a cast, though, for now. I don’t want to do too much to you at once.’

  ‘Thank you,’ her mother said. She sounded weary. No wonder, Anna thought. Emily had spent most of her six years in hospital for one thing or another, and her mother had been with her for most of it.

  She and Adam left Emily’s cot, and went back into the office. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked him, looking into his tired eyes. ‘You look a bit harassed this morning.’

  ‘Helle didn’t come back from her weekend. She’s back now—I just got her on the phone. I gave her hell. I expect she’ll have packed and gone by the time I get home. Oh, well. So be it. I must contact a nanny agency. The au pair people are taking for ever and I need some cover.’

  ‘What about the girls next door? Can they help out?’ Anna suggested.

  ‘Well, they can babysit occasionally, but not much more than that. I have to do something permanent—it’s no good going on like this. Helle’s just not reliable enough, and neither was the last one.’

  He looked at his watch and sighed. ‘I suppose I ought to go and scrub and start my list. I’ve got the two-year-old with spina bifida for closure of the spinal tract, and little Emily, and the two fractures that have come in overnight that need my attention. I’ll see you later—are you in tonight?’

  She would have cancelled almost anything. As it was, there was nothing to cancel. ‘Yes, I’m free,’ she told him. ‘Come round, if you’ve still got an au pair.’

  He snorted softly. ‘On second thoughts, don’t hold your breath. I might ring you instead.’

  He did, to tell her that Helle had still been there when he’d got home, but was only going to work the week.

  ‘What about the phone bill?’ Anna asked, knowing how soft he was. ‘Are you going to hold her to that?’

  ‘I don’t suppose so,’ he admitted. ‘It was an attempt to persuade her to stay for a while, but it’s not been very effective. I’ve tried an agency, but they can’t do anything before next week at the earliest.’

  ‘If I can help at all, just ask me,’ Anna offered, but he didn’t take her up on it. Still, the offer had been made. ‘How was the op on Emily?’ she asked. ‘I had to leave before you came back to the ward.’

  ‘OK. Not as bad as I thought. I did both legs, and I left her arm in a cast. I just hope the ends of the bone are strong enough to stand the strain. That’s the danger, of course. Still, there’s only so much I can do. The spinal tract case was easier than I thought, but one of the fractures was a monster. You’ll meet him tomorrow—he’ll be with us for a while. How was Damian today?’

  ‘Bored,’ she said with a smile that he must have heard in her voice. ‘I’ve got a girl in on work experience who wants to be a doctor—I’m going to get her to entertain him and find ways of making his life more interesting. It should help her make up her mind one way or the other.’

  Adam chuckled, a low, sexy sound that unsettled her, and she shifted her position on the bed and wished he was there with her.

  They talked for nearly another hour, saying nothing much, just enjoying the sound of each other’s voices, and then finally he sighed. ‘I have to go. I can hear one of the boys up. I’ll see you tomorrow. Think of me while you curl up all alone in your bed.’

  Hah! As if she needed telling! She lay back against the pillows and sighed softly. Give him time, she said to herself for the millionth time. He’ll come rou
nd. Josh said so.

  Josh was an expert in persuasion. He’d moved his caravan onto Lissa’s drive and camped outside her house when she’d been pregnant with their first baby. Eventually she’d surrendered. Maybe Adam would give in, too, if she waited long enough.

  ‘Whose idea was this?’ Adam asked himself, standing in the middle of the hall while his house was systematically stripped from floor to ceiling. The boys’ room, Skye’s room and the sitting room were all on the agenda, and the party seemed to have divided into three camps.

  There were the sober, serious types, mostly talking shop and arguing about surgical techniques. They seemed to be in the sitting room, and from his position in the hall Adam began to wonder just how serious they were. They certainly weren’t all that sober as the party wore on, and he hardly dared go in there.

  Upstairs, the women had split up and taken some of the children each. The boys seemed to be in the boys’ room, and the girls in Skye’s. Anna was with Skye, and Allie was in there keeping her company and helping. Lissa and Sarah were in the boys’ room, and they had by far the hardest job, Adam could tell.

  He stuck his head round the door and winced. All the boys’ things were piled in the middle of the room, and all round the sides the wallpaper was yielding to their endeavours—except that they were all short, and so the paper was only off on the bottom half.

  ‘I thought you were good at this?’ he said to Lissa with a grin.

  ‘I am—I’m wonderful! Look behind the door.’

  He looked, and found the wall clear. ‘Fantastic!’ he murmured. ‘I’m amazed. So much order out of so much chaos!’

  ‘Of course. Ben, stop that, please! Sorry, he’s getting a bit hyper.’

  ‘Maybe it’s time for a break,’ Adam suggested, mindful of the ordered-in pizza keeping hot in the oven. Afterwards, he was to wonder about his choice of words, but at the time it seemed logical.

  ‘Right, everyone, downstairs,’ Lissa ordered, and they whooped and skidded towards the door.

  ‘Hey, steady, chaps,’ Adam said, but he was ignored. Pizza was way up the list, long before listening to adults.