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Page 20

by Rachel Lacey


  18

  The recoil—even though she’d prepared herself for it—knocked Jenn off-balance as her hands jerked upward. Almost as an afterthought, she registered the muffled roar of the blast. She stood there for a moment, staring at the gun in her hand, breathing in the scent of gunpowder.

  “Okay,” she said, raising her eyes to the target, which was still intact. “I missed.”

  “Wouldn’t expect you to hit it on your first shot,” Sam said, stepping up behind her. “You want to angle yourself more this way. Brace your left hand under your right. There you go. Now try again.”

  Jenn raised the gun, aimed carefully, and fired. Again her arms jerked uncomfortably, but this time, she was ready for it. And this time, a little hole appeared in the bottom of the target. She could feel herself grinning from ear to ear. “I hit it.”

  And then she did it again. By the time she’d finished, her target was riddled with holes, and she felt as if she’d grown about six inches since she’d walked through the front door of the Smithtown Gun Range two hours ago. As she stood staring at her decimated target, she felt invincible.

  “My wife is a total badass,” Cole said from behind her.

  “I am,” she agreed, still grinning as she handed the gun to him. “Now it’s your turn to show off.”

  She stood back and watched as Cole took his position. Like her, his first shot went wide, as did his second, and his third. His fourth landed square in the center of the target, and he crowed his victory with an enthusiastic whoop that earned a disapproving scowl from Sam.

  “Firing a gun is a very serious matter, Mr. Nix, not a cause for celebration.”

  “Sorry,” he answered, a gloating smile still on his face.

  Jenn covered her mouth to hide her own smile. By now, the sound of gunfire had become more like background noise. Her body felt loose and relaxed. She watched as Cole finished his round. He passed the gun back to Sam, then leaned in to whisper in Jenn’s ear. “The sight of you firing that gun was the hottest thing I’ve seen in a long damn time.”

  * * *

  Cole lifted his beer and tapped it against Jenn’s. “To conquering your fears.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” She lifted her tankard to her lips and took a long drink.

  “And looking totally badass while you’re at it,” he added.

  “It felt good,” she said quietly, staring into her beer.

  “I’m glad. You know, I wasn’t sure if this was the right move or not, but you just got right up there and did it. Kicked fear right in the ass.”

  “I just hope it lasts.” She looked up and met his eyes. “How do I know I won’t still freak out the next time I hear a loud noise?”

  “You don’t.” He took her hand across the table. “You very well might panic again, but that doesn’t in any way diminish what you accomplished tonight.”

  “I think I’ll go again,” she said with a nod. “Maybe I’ll go once a week for target practice until I’m sure I’m really over it.”

  “Whatever feels right to you. And if you want company, I’m happy to tag along.”

  “Did you notice no one at the gun range seemed to give a crap who you are?” she asked, a soft smile curling her lips. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a group of people less impressed with your status.”

  “Might have had something to do with my shooting skills,” he said with a wink, “or lack thereof.”

  The waitress arrived at their table then, setting dishes of hot, fragrant food in front of each of them. They’d come to one of his favorite Thai restaurants on Long Island, since they were already on this side of the river.

  “Yum,” Jenn said, looking down at her dish, a spicy concoction with chicken and vegetables.

  He’d gotten the pad thai, one of his favorites. He twirled noodles around his chopsticks. “I think we might need to role-play some good cop, bad cop tonight. What do you think?”

  “Who gets to be good cop?” she asked, her eyes gleaming in the soft lighting of the restaurant as she took a big bite of her meal.

  “You pick.”

  “Okay, then.” She took a sip of beer. “I’m feeling bad to the bone tonight, baby.”

  “Check, please,” he called, only half joking.

  They laughed and teased all the way through dinner and on the ride home. And once they were back inside the house, Jenn showed him just how bad she could be. By the time they’d finally worn each other out, it was well past midnight. He slept like the dead—deep and dreamless—and didn’t wake up until quarter past nine, by which time, Jenn’s side of the bed was long empty. He didn’t like when she left without saying goodbye, but he wasn’t exactly cut out for early mornings either.

  He showered, thawed out a breakfast sandwich, and took it and a cup of coffee into the living room, where he relaxed while he watched SportsCenter. He had a couple of hours until he was meeting the guys at the studio to jam and rehearse for their first live show next week. They’d booked the venues under the name Social Experiment, just for kicks and to fly under the radar. He always booked club gigs this way, but this year, he was even more glad for the anonymity. His name tended to attract a certain type of groupie, but he wasn’t that guy anymore.

  That had been Colton Nix, the King of Tiny Dix, and all the wild sex and drama that came along with it. He was ready for something new. He had a good thing going with Naveen and Tom, and they’d brought in another guitar player last week, a guy named Ricky who was a friend of Tom’s. They had a good vibe going, had even written a new song together last week.

  Maybe marrying Jenn had been an unintended first step toward a new phase in his career, a coming of age of sorts. He’d left behind his groupie-banging former self. Actually, he’d done it even before he’d met her, he just hadn’t known it yet. A new, more mature Colton Nix, or so he hoped. And he was excited to get the first reactions to his new music.

  A new album. A new sound. A tour.

  It was all good. Too good maybe? Would it last after he divorced Jenn, or would he revert back to his old self? The truth was, he couldn’t imagine doing any of this without her, and that scared the fuck out of him.

  * * *

  “So?” Kate asked as they rode back to her condo after a morning photo shoot in a park uptown. “How did it go? What was it like?”

  Jenn felt herself smiling. “It was good. I was scared shitless when we got there, but by the time we finished the class part, I’d gotten used to the sound of gunfire, and I was just…ready.”

  “So you fired the gun and everything?” Kate asked, her expression apprehensive.

  “And I demolished my target. Turns out I’m a better shot than Cole is.” She couldn’t help gloating a bit about that. The man was a crap shot, which she thought was totally fair, because no one should be good at everything.

  “I’m…well, I’m really proud of you,” Kate said. “Your methods are unconventional, but it sounds like it paid off, and that’s great.”

  “Yeah.” She nodded with a smile. “I’m going to go back once a week for some target shooting until I’ve totally worked this thing out of my system.”

  “That’s very badass of you,” Kate said with an amused smile. “I think I’m maybe a little jealous of your level of badass.”

  “Oh please.” Jenn rolled her eyes. “But it was good. It felt very empowering, which is exactly what I was hoping for.”

  “Whatever makes you feel empowered gets my stamp of approval.”

  “So where did Josh take you yesterday?” Jenn asked, settling back against the seat.

  “He rented this little private theater, the kind that has the fancy leather seats that recline, and we watched a double feature—that rom-com I’d been wanting to see and then an action flick to balance it out. They even served us dinner.”

  “That sounds amazing,” Jenn said.

  The car pulled up in front of Kate’s building. They both thanked Anton the driver and stepped out, ducking quickly inside the front door.
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  “That was lucky,” Kate said with a smile as they crossed the lobby together, headed for the elevators. It was the first time in weeks they’d entered the building without being stopped by paparazzi, wanting any kind of scoop they could get—Kate’s new music, the baby, there had even been a few questions about Jenn’s marriage to Cole, which she absolutely hated although Kate seemed to find it amusing.

  “So what’s new on the songwriting front?” Kate asked as they waited for the elevator, rubbing a hand absently over her belly. “And when do I get dibs on one of your songs?”

  Jenn felt her cheeks flaming. “Um, it’s going pretty well, I think. Cole and I have written a couple of songs together. He’s doing a few live shows at clubs over the next few weeks to try out some of his new music.”

  “Really? I didn’t hear anything about that.” Kate glanced over at her as the elevator dinged its arrival.

  “He made up a band name to keep the hype down.”

  “And he’ll be playing the songs you guys wrote together?” Kate asked.

  Jenn followed her into the elevator and punched the button for the eighth floor. “Yeah.”

  “Sorry I won’t be here to see that,” Kate said, the corner of her mouth hitching up in a smile.

  “Yeah, well…” Jenn felt herself smiling too. Somehow it was just now hitting her that Cole’s live shows represented yet another huge step for her, letting other people hear the songs she’d helped write. And maybe she’d rather have a crowd of strangers hear them first, to judge their reaction, before Kate, who, apart from being the top-selling female artist of the decade, was also a supremely talented songwriter.

  “You’re off the hook this time.” Kate led the way out of the elevator and across the hall to her condo. “But I want to hear your music. After I have this baby and go back in the studio, I want you to write something for me…or maybe we can write a song together.” She winked. “Although I bet songwriting goes a little differently when you and Cole do it…”

  “Possibly.” Jenn’s cheeks grew even hotter.

  “How are things with you guys?” Kate asked as she dropped her purse inside the front door and walked to the kitchen for a glass of water.

  “Good…hot,” she added, certain her cheeks must be bright red by now.

  “You’ve certainly settled into your roles of husband and wife.” Kate raised her eyebrows before taking a long drink.

  “I don’t know. We’ve gotten more comfortable with the terminology, but our relationship still feels so new. We’re still getting to know each other. And then there’s the whole impending divorce…”

  “You don’t have to get divorced,” Kate commented.

  “But we do.” Jenn walked to the window, looking down at Central Park, green and bustling with impending summer. “Because I’m not getting any younger, and I need to start looking for a real husband.”

  “What if that turns out to be Cole?”

  “It can’t. He’s not any of the things I want in a husband,” she said, shaking her head and wondering why her words felt so hollow. “And he doesn’t want a wife. He’s just playing along because I’m good for his image right now, but once our six months are up…”

  “Hmm.” Kate joined her at the window, a thoughtful look on her face. “I still think all those things could be subject to change if you guys have something worth fighting for.”

  “It’s an impossible situation,” Jenn murmured, watching as a bus drove by on Central Park West. “This is why people don’t get married the same day they meet. We can’t just let things run their natural course and then go our separate ways. Maybe we would have enjoyed a fun fling together if we hadn’t gotten married. Maybe it would have been lighthearted and fun, and we could have parted friends. And maybe we can still pull that off, but I don’t know…divorce complicates everything.”

  19

  Jenn sipped her beer and swallowed past the butterflies clogging her throat. In just a few minutes, Cole and his band would take the stage for their first club show. She was just watching tonight, but the thought of getting up there with them next time was already freaking her out. Except it also felt strangely…exhilarating.

  “I think word got out who Social Experiment really is,” Farrah murmured in her ear.

  It was true. The place was packed, and she’d heard there was a line outside, waiting and hoping to get in. A lot of the women in the crowd had that distinctive “Colton Nix Groupie” vibe, and she’d noticed several of them eyeing her, as if sizing up the competition. Jenn was here with Farrah, Lucy, and Casey, and she was nervously excited for her friends to see Cole play live for the first time.

  The lights dimmed, and the crowd screamed. Jenn was jostled from behind as they pressed in, trying to get closer to the stage. That all-too-familiar knot of tension grew in her chest, squeezing her lungs and causing her eyes to dart around the room, checking out the available exits for the hundredth time. Backstage, she reminded herself. The crowd would throng for the main exit in case of emergency, but she and her friends should run for the door leading to the backstage area.

  As her gaze fell on it, that backstage door opened. Naveen walked out first, followed by Tom, Ricky, and finally Cole. They strolled onto the stage, oozing swagger and sex appeal. Cole, Tom, and Ricky picked up their guitars while Naveen sat behind the drum set. Cole settled his favorite Gibson over his shoulders and reached for the microphone at the front of the stage. “Thanks so much for coming out to see us tonight.”

  The crowd screamed, pressing ever closer to the stage.

  Cole caught Jenn’s eye and winked. She grinned back at him. He looked ridiculously handsome and sexy up there, and honestly, she couldn’t have been prouder to be his wife at that moment.

  Naveen tapped out a rhythm on the drums, and they launched into one of the new songs they’d been working on together, an energetic jam called “Take Me for a Ride.” She began to move to the beat, grooving and singing along, aware that she was the only one here apart from the band who knew the words and not giving a single damn.

  Cole moved around behind the microphone stand, dancing in that somewhat dorky but one hundred percent infectious way that was as distinctively “him” as his rich, throaty voice. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. She’d heard him sing many times now, been serenaded at home and even in bed. She’d seen him perform his duet with Kate before a live audience. But this…this was different somehow. The energy, the vibe that he was putting out up there was absolutely magnetic. She felt herself leaning in, desperate to absorb every note.

  When the song ended, she added her voice to the cheers and applause from the crowd. Cole met her gaze and then leaned down to plant a quick kiss on her lips. “My wife, ladies and gentlemen,” he said as he straightened, gesturing toward her.

  Jenn felt every eyeball in the club riveted to her for a few dizzying seconds before the next song began to play, and suddenly she was forgotten because this was “King of Manhattan,” and if there was anyone here who hadn’t realized yet who was up onstage, they knew now. She heard the hum of a hundred voices singing along with Cole as he belted through the first verse.

  Her lips were still warm from his kiss, her heart racing with the energy and adrenaline of the show, and for the first time since Las Vegas, she felt completely relaxed during a live show. Finally. She gulped the rest of her beer and set the glass on a table against the wall so that she could dance more freely. She, Farrah, and Lucy hip-checked each other as they moved to the beat, laughing.

  About halfway through the set, she recognized the opening bars of “Coast to Coast,” and a tingle went down her spine. This was it. A song she helped write, being performed in front of a live audience for the first time. She hadn’t mentioned this fact to her friends, so the moment was hers alone. Hers and Cole’s.

  He looked right at her as he began to sing. “Alone in bed, I think of you…”

  Everything seemed to melt away but Cole’s voice, the guitar in his hands, and the mu
sic they’d created. She listened mesmerized, almost frozen in place as she heard her lyrics leave his mouth.

  “The farther apart we are, the closer I feel to you,” he sang. “And whenever we’re together, baby, I know you feel it too.”

  Farrah bumped into her, and the trance broke. The noise of the crowd crashed over her, the way they moved to the beat, the way they watched Cole and the rest of the band with enthusiastic smiles on their faces. They liked it.

  Jenn felt like all the energy of the stage lights was radiating out from inside her.

  They like my music.

  When the song ended, Cole winked at her before launching into an old hit. To her left, a busty blonde lifted her tank top, flashing her tits at him. Cole turned away, walking to the far side of the stage as he began to sing. Jenn gave the woman her best death-ray glare, but this was something that happened at all his shows.

  Women flung themselves at him every night, and how long would it be before he fell back into old habits? She knew he would never cheat, but at some point, his eye would stray. He’d get bored playing the happily married man and wish for the freedom to enjoy the affection of other women.

  That would be the day their faux marriage ended, and she ought to prepare herself for it. But watching him up there right now, she couldn’t help indulging in the fantasy that he was hers, and for tonight, at least, it was true.

  Cole and the guys played about fifteen songs in total, a mixture of old and new, and Jenn felt like a full-fledged Colton Nix groupie by the end of the night. He was amazing, and she couldn’t get enough. He made eye contact throughout the night, sometimes winking at her or singing a particularly romantic or sexy line directly to her.

  “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Jenn MacDonald?” Lucy asked as they made their way backstage after the show.

  “I have no idea what you mean,” she said, aware she was still grinning like a fool.

  “Lucy’s right. You two are so smitten with each other, it’s actually kind of disgusting,” Farrah said, but she was smiling too. “I had no idea my nerdy, checklist-loving friend was hiding this super-sappy romantic side.”

 

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