Susanna's Christmas Wish

by Jerry S. Eicher

  The Belgians banged in their stall at the smell of oats.

  “Not today,” she told them. “Herman isn’t working. You can loaf around the field, but Bruce has to run into town.” They neighed as Susanna let them out into the pasture. Running across the lawn, she entered the house, pausing a moment to listen. Herman had been moaning when she left, but everything was quiet now. Taking off her coat, she peeked into the bedroom. Herman had the covers thrown off his sweating body. She rushed to his side. “Herman!” she called gently.

  He groaned and tried to sit up.

  “You’d better stay in bed awhile longer, Herman. I’m taking you to the doctor this morning.”

  He pushed her hand aside and swung his legs over the edge. “What’s going on? Why am I not up and dressed?”

  “You’re sick. And I don’t care what your mamm says or what you’re used to. You’re going to see the doctor today. You’re in danger of pneumonia because you’ve relapsed.”

  He groaned again, rubbing his eyes. “I had awful nightmares last night.”

  “I suppose you did.” She ran her hand over his forehead. “You were tossing and turning most of the time.”

  “Did I keep you awake?”

  “A little, but I’m okay.”

  He stared out the window at the light of dawn. “I kept hearing Mamm tell me to get out of bed and get into the fields. But it was cold and windy, there was snow blowing, and we couldn’t get the horses out of the barn. My head hurt so much I thought it would burst. And nothing worked. The straps on the harnesses were broken, the horses’ hooves were frozen to the barn floor, and they screamed in terror while we hung on to their halters. And we got nothing done. It was awful, Susanna.”

  “It was just a dream,” Susanna comforted, laying her hand on his forehead again.

  “You’re here this morning,” he said, as if that thought had just occurred to him. “But I’m still sick.”

  “It’s okay.” She held him tightly.

  “I acted kind of foolish yesterday, didn’t I?”

  Yah, she wanted to say. You certainly did. But she held back the words. Herman knew what he’d done without her rubbing it in. But it sure was nice he was admitting it so willingly. She figured a lot of husbands would have been too stubborn.

  “The doctor’s visit will cost me more than the money I saved working yesterday.”

  Again Susanna bit her lip to hold back the words. You could have stood up to your mamm yesterday when it would have done some gut, Herman. He had stood up to his mamm about the rumors floating around the community though. For this she was thankful. And that was probably the reason Iva had finally believed her side of the story.

  “Mamm didn’t do us much gut yesterday, did she?” Herman said.

  This time Susanna laughed, remembering Iva bustling around in her kitchen for most of the day. “At least your mamm left us plenty of baked goods.”

  Herman’s smile grew broad. “That’s Mamm for you. Always thinks she can make everything right by baking.”

  She could do much better by keeping that tongue in her mouth, Susanna almost said. Instead she said, “Your mamm was just trying to help.”

  “Next time I’m sending her the bill.” Herman tried to stand, tottering on his feet for a moment before sitting down again.

  “Just rest,” she told him. “I’ll get you something to eat, and then we can head out to the doctor.”

  “There’s got to be some way not to visit the doctor. He’s too expensive.”

  Susanna ignored the comment. “Do you think you can keep oatmeal down?”

  He nodded, saying nothing more about the doctor visit, and slid back under the covers

  Tucking him under the quilt again, Susanna left for the kitchen. The water soon boiled, and she pushed one of Iva’s pies aside to make room for the oatmeal bowl.

  She ought to feed Herman pie this morning so he could see for himself what his mamm had spent her day doing while he was getting sicker by the minute in the field. But that would be mean and serve no purpose. Plus, she would feel bad making Herman eat pie when he had a fever and needed nutritious food.

  With the oatmeal done, she carried the steaming bowl to the bedroom.

  Herman smiled when she entered and pulled himself to a sitting position.

  She spoon-fed him, and he didn’t object.

  “I think I’m well enough now that I don’t need to see the doctor,” he said, when the bowl was empty.

  “You’re seeing the doctor, Herman. The office opens at eight, and if we get there early we won’t have to wait that long.”

  He groaned but looked resigned when she smiled at him.

  “I’ll eat some breakfast, and then we’ll be on our way.”

  He slid back down in bed and pulled the quilt up to his chin.

  Hurrying into the kitchen, Susanna prepared her own breakfast, sliding a piece of pie on a plate. Berry pie wasn’t exactly something that went with oatmeal, but Iva’s efforts shouldn’t go to waste. Susanna smiled at the thought. She was obviously a daughter-in-law Iva hadn’t anticipated having. Someone who took her son Herman out of the safe waters of the family harbor. Iva probably wished Herman had chosen someone like Millie Troyer for a frau. Millie was so meek she hardly spoke unless spoken to. And Herman could have gotten to Millie in time—if he’d wanted to. Millie hadn’t dated Jesse Byler until after Herman had taken Susanna home for the first time. Millie would certainly not have stood up to Iva…or wanted her family to have Englisha Christmas customs.

  Placing the dirty dishes on the counter, Susanna hurried back to the bedroom. She changed into a better dress and helped Herman get his Sunday pants and shirt on. He moaned most of the time but didn’t protest about going anymore.

  With Herman ensconced on the couch, she dashed to the barn to bring Bruce out and hitch him to the buggy. When she was done, she left the horse tied to the hitching post, found an extra buggy blanket near the grain bin and threw it on the buggy seat, and then went in to get Herman.

  She dressed him in two coats and pulled his wool hat on his head. He almost looked like he was enjoying the fussing. She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled. Herman followed her, and she held the front door open for him. In the yard she held his arm, but he seemed steady enough on his feet. He even climbed into the buggy by himself. Unsnapping Bruce’s tie rope, she threw it under the seat and joined Herman, making sure he had both buggy blankets tightly wound around him.

  “Let’s go!” she hollered to Bruce after she lifted the reins.

  Bruce lumbered down the driveway.

  Driving past Bishop Jacob’s place, there was no sign of anyone around. They must not be working outside today. Susanna noted the field beside the barn showed fresh signs of plowing, probably done yesterday.

  “They’re done,” Herman muttered.

  “I’m sorry,” Susanna said, glancing at him. “You’ll get your work done yet. Much faster than if you get pneumonia.”

  He coughed for the first time this morning and turned away to cough more.

  Alarm flashed across her face.

  Turning back, he looked at her. “I’m okay.”

  “After you have antibiotics in you, you’ll be okay.”

  “I agree,” he said. “Mamm isn’t right about everything.”

  What a relief! she wanted to shout, but she didn’t.

  “Maybe she’s also wrong about something else.”

  “Yah?” Susanna said absently, gently slapping the reins against Bruce’s back to hurry him along.

  “About Christmas with your family. I’ve seen how they were at Thanksgiving. They just enjoyed the day and were truly thankful to Da Hah.”

  Susanna took a deep breath. What was Herman saying? Iva had made it clear how much her family’s practice of Christmas was forbidden by the Waglers.

  “I’ve been thinking about this matter. Well, just overnight really. And yesterday out plowing in the field while feeling like I did. You’re so different from what
I’m used to.”

  “I suppose I am,” Susanna managed to say. “I’m working on accepting your family’s ways. And I’m falling in love with you more every day.” She smiled at him.

  Herman didn’t say anything for a while.

  “It’s true!” Susanna glanced at him with a sweet smile. “I think you’re quite a man.”

  “I don’t know about that,” he murmured. “You got a gut look at Mamm yesterday. And I’m sure the sight wasn’t all that pretty.”

  “She’s your mamm, Herman. I won’t say anything ill of her.”

  “You just take me to the doctor and mother me once she’s gone, is that it?”

  “I’m not planning to be like her. I’m your frau—not your mother.”

  He was silent again, and she gave him more of the buggy blankets as they drove through the edge of town. He shivered but shook his head when a worried look flashed across her face again. “I’m okay,” he repeated. “And I’m also thinking how wonderful a frau you make for me. It’s so different, and so…” He let the words hang.

  “Well, I’m glad you approve.” Susanna squeezed his arm under the blankets.

  “Susanna, we’re going to Christmas at your mamm and daett’s place this year.”

  “Now I know your head is touched with the fever!” she exclaimed. And it was true. She wouldn’t hold him to something he said while he was obviously delirious.

  “I’m perfectly whole,” he defended, seeing the look on her face. He pulled the blankets tighter.

  “Here we are!” she said, stopping in front of the clinic. “Now let’s get you inside and fixed up before you get worse.”

  He groaned as he climbed down after she’d tied Bruce to a tree.

  All Susanna could think of was the tongue lashing or worse Iva would give the both of them if she ever heard what Herman had just said. Well, her lips were sealed. She’d never tell.

  Eighteen

  Susanna stood at the living room window and looked out over the open fields. This was almost too gut to be true. And yet there it was, right in front of her eyes. Bishop Jacob and his son-in-law, both with teams of Belgians, were helping Herman with the plowing. They lined up at the end of the field and began, each slightly behind and to the side of the other as black dirt spilled from under the plow blades.

  Herman was better this morning. He’d rested all last week and even stayed home from Sunday services again. That must have been what caused the outpouring of concern this morning. Herman’s continued absence—and she’d even stayed home on Sunday to be with him. She wasn’t going alone, she’d told Herman. Not this Sunday.

  The doctor had been adamant that Herman rest for the remainder of the week while the antibiotics did their work. He said dire consequences could result if Herman worked. Herman had groaned but listened. He stomped around the house as the end of the week moved closer and he was feeling better, but he stayed inside. Susanna had done the best she could to keep him occupied, but it wasn’t like Herman could do housework. And eating only lasted so long.

  His mamm’s pies were all gone. Susanna smiled. Iva’s work had saved her from having to bake last week, which had given her time to clean the house thoroughly. Why she did it, she wasn’t sure. But Christmastime was approaching, and she wanted a clean house even though it would be only Herman and her here on Christmas morning.

  Wouldn’t it be wonderful, she thought, if Herman really meant what he’d said about celebrating Christmas with her family? How perfect such a day would be. But it was completely out of the question. Herman had been affected by the fever on the way to the doctor’s office. He’d said nothing more about celebrating Christmas since then. And she wasn’t going to bring it up. A fuss would only spoil the joy that was growing between them. Yet the thought of the Christmas celebration wouldn’t go away. It kept coming back during the long evenings, especially the past week as they sat and drank hot chocolate.

  She’d finally decided that celebrating Christmas in a certain way was really only a silly notion. Sure, it would be absolutely wunderbah to spend the day like her family did, but there were other gut ways to spend the time too. And she and Herman would find them. Just like they were finding more and more love for each other. Herman couldn’t get enough of her kisses, now that he was feeling better. And she couldn’t get enough of his strong arms wrapped around her. This love was a great gift from Da Hah, and something for which they both gave much thanks.

  In the meantime, Susanna had better stop staring out of the window and get busy with her Monday-morning wash. If Bishop Jacob and his son-in-law came over to help Herman out of concern, then perhaps someone else would also be along soon—if she didn’t miss her guess. Herman’s mamm would have a hard time staying away since her son had missed another church service.

  Iva would stop in to give Herman a gut lecture, if nothing else. But it wouldn’t do any gut. Susanna had doctor’s orders that backed her stand of making Herman rest all week. She held back a giggle. Maybe she’d get another batch of pies out of the deal. The bread pantry was still well stocked from the bread Iva had baked last week. So she would get to tell Iva—if she showed up—no more bread.

  At least I have an interesting mother-in-law, Susanna thought as she went into the bedroom to gather up their dirty clothing. Herman hadn’t used quite as many pants and shirts last week, so maybe two batches of wash were all she had to hang out. Iva would think they’d been wearing the same clothes all week, which was partly true. At least Herman had because he wasn’t working.

  Iva could think what she wanted. Before long there might be a bobbli on the way! Not that she showed any signs yet, but hopefully it would happen. And likely many more after that. Then there would be plenty of wash on the line for Iva to see.

  Susanna took the hamper into the basement and started the gas motor on the second pull. I’m getting gut with this motor, she thought. The one at home had its own quirks, just like this one did. Here you had to pull the choke halfway out instead of all the way like she used to with mamm and daett’s motor.

  With the roar of the motor in her ear, Susanna laughed. Herman wasn’t quite like a motor, but she was getting to know his little quirks too. Let his mamm think what she wished, but Herman had blossomed under her care. The doctor’s antibiotics had helped, but so had her doting.

  And she was gut at it. What a wunderbah feeling. This was something she’d never felt with Matthew. Doting on Matthew was hard to imagine. Herman seemed to grow stronger by it. She could feel it in how he held her in the evenings and in the strength of his smile. Herman’s mamm might think spoiling a man made him weak, but it wasn’t true in Herman’s case. Susanna’s loving care made him stronger. She had plenty of proof of that.

  Susanna finished running the first load through the wringer and started the next before going outside. She was hanging the last piece on the line when Iva came driving down the lane. Susanna started toward the barn to help her unhitch, and then she stopped. Last time Iva made her do all of the work, so this time it was Iva’s turn. Yet Iva was Herman’s mamm…but a person could only take so much. And with all the lectures she’d received from Iva’s sharp tongue about Herman being babied last week, it might be best to postpone such moments. At least until she could gather herself together to face the onslaught.

  Without looking at Iva parked beside the barn, Susanna turned and marched to the basement. A quick glance at the last moment showed Iva staring after her, mouth dropped open, probably from shock. Susanna suppressed a giggle and quickly closed the basement door behind her. It really wasn’t funny, but Iva was only getting her own medicine. Susanna would deal with the consequences later.

  Susanna’s heart sank when she came back out with the last load of wash. Herman was standing beside the now-unhitched buggy, in deep conversation with his mamm. Behind him his team of Belgians stood alongside the fencerow waiting for him. Bishop Jacob and his son-in-law were still plowing.

  Obviously Herman had stopped his work to help his mamm wi
th her horse. Maybe she should rush over and apologize, Susanna thought. But no matter. Iva would have plenty to say to her later.

  Sure enough, she wasn’t even done hanging the last piece of wash before Iva marched over.

  “Gut morning,” Susanna said, trying to sound sweet.

  “Don’t you believe in making your kinfolk welcome around here?” Iva demanded, skipping the morning’s greeting. “At least my son has the decency to come help his poor mother unhitch her horse. My poor bones ache enough in the morning without having to do all the work myself.”

  “I’m sorry,” Susanna said. And she did feel just a little sorry, now that she thought about Iva’s arthritis. “Is it very bad?”

  “Ach,” Iva said, “it comes and goes, and one shouldn’t complain. Do you need help with the next load of wash?”

  “I’m done,” Susanna said.

  “This is all the wash you have? What was Herman doing all last week?”

  “He was in bed,” Susanna said, “by doctor’s orders. He got a pretty bad setback from being out all day with a fever. You know…the last time you were here.”

  “Well, it was gut to see him working that day,” Iva said, obviously not very repentant. “At least Bishop Jacob and his son-in-law are out this morning helping. It was getting way late in the year for fall plowing, and with an early winter threatening. We can be very thankful to Da Hah for the wunderbah help the community is to each other.”

  “Yah,” Susanna agreed, “this is true.”

  Behind Iva, Susanna saw Herman walking toward them. She hadn’t noticed he was still around. What did Herman have to say that was so important it couldn’t wait until lunchtime?

  Herman cleared his throat, and Iva whirled around. “Now don’t you go sneaking up on me like that. I’m too old a woman for such sudden starts.”

  “Sorry, Mamm,” Herman said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”