The Truth About My Scratches (The Carolina Killer Files #3)

by Kiersten Modglin

  I was leaving the room. He of all people should know that I had to leave. He’d done it. After all this time, all the practice of not doing it, he’d done it anyway. Not on purpose, no, he probably hadn’t even realized he’d done it, but he’d glanced at my neck and that was enough. I was out of the hospital before I knew what was happening. I paced in the parking lot, my breathing labored. And then, there was Brayden. He stood in the parking lot, drinking Starbucks and staring into space with that goofy grin on his face.

  “Hey!” He waved to me when he finally saw me, raising his cup in the air.

  I stopped, out of breath. “What are you doing here?”

  He handed me an extra cup I hadn’t noticed at first. “I came to see you. I heard about your dad. I thought you could probably use a friend.”

  I was going to remind him that he wasn’t my friend but I decided against it. That didn’t really matter at the moment. “You mean to tell me you’ve been waiting out here all night? Why didn’t you just come up?”

  He smiled. “Well, it occurred to me, after I got here I might add, that I don’t know your parents’ names to ask for the room number. In fact, I don’t even know your last name.” He took a sip of his coffee, and I felt obligated to take a drink of mine as well.

  I wanted to tell him that I didn’t drink coffee; that it tasted disgusting to me and that it stunted your growth, but instead I smiled and took a sip, feeling the warmth fill my tummy.

  “Well, you shouldn’t have waited. That’s just insane.”

  “Okay, that’s sort of like a ‘thank you’ but different.”

  “Oh, uh, thanks. I do mean thanks. I just hate that you had to wait.” I took another sip of my coffee, filling the silence.

  He smiled, grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. I flinched, without warning and without control. He held my hand, not seeming to notice. “You’re welcome, Jaicey. I’m glad I waited.”

  He took another drink. “So what happened? To your dad, I mean. Is everything okay? How is he?”

  “He’s—” I felt my throat catch before I could say more and chose to take a drink instead to mask it. I couldn’t look at him. Sadness filled me. It was too late. I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

  “Whoa. Jaicey? What is it?”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. I shook my head, closing my mouth. He lifted his hand, ready to place it on my cheek, but I ducked out of his way, putting my hands up defensively.

  “Look, I’m not even hurting you,” he said softly. “I won’t hurt you. I don’t know what happened to you, what made you so scared…but not everyone’s going to hurt you. I want to be able to touch you and not feel guilty for it.”

  I blinked. He was the first person who had ever stood up to me like that. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I’m sorry.” I shook his hand off.

  He let go of my hand and took a drink of his coffee, unaffected. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Go? Go where? I can’t go.”

  “Take a drive with me.” He held out his hand.

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I should really go back up to see my dad. I mean, thanks for the coffee and for coming, for staying. It’s just that, he needs me right now. I shouldn’t have even come down here.”

  “Take a drive with me.” He looked at me seriously. “I didn’t just propose marriage. It’s just a drive in a car with a friend. Just come with me.”

  I thought for a moment.

  “Besides,” he threw in, “that wasn’t actually a question. You don’t really have a choice.”

  He grabbed my arm, ignoring my cringe, and pulled me toward his car. It was parked pretty close to the building, so we didn’t have to walk far. I knew better than to think Mom would be mad about me leaving with him, if she even noticed. She had her “wife of the year” award to show for. Still, something bothered me.

  “Wait a second, how did you say you heard about my dad again?” I asked as I climbed into his car, realizing there was no one else who knew.

  “I didn’t.” He looked at me slyly. “I didn’t say, I mean. I was out driving around, and some idiot pulled out of their driveway in front of me going really fast. We almost smashed right into each other. So I followed them. I was going to give them a piece of my mind, you know, but they pulled into the hospital. The idiot was your mom. Then I saw a stretcher come out and get your dad. You looked so upset, all of you. I knew it had to be something bad. I figured you’d need someone to talk to.”

  “And you’ve been here ever since? Brayden, that was nearly twelve hours ago!”

  “No, no. Of course not. I went home last night. And then I went by your house this morning, and when I realized you weren’t there I came straight to the hospital. Your van was still there. I would’ve left eventually, I guess. But I knew you had to come out at some point. As it turns out, I was right.”

  “Why would you do that? Why would you wait all that time?”

  “You know why, Jaicey. Because that’s what friends do. I figured you needed a friend.”

  “We’re not—”

  “We are friends. Or at least, I’m your friend. No matter what you do or say, that’s not changing. You can push me away as much as you think you want, but I’m not budging, okay?”

  “But why?” I asked stubbornly.

  “Because I said so.” He sighed. “Because everyone needs a friend, and because one day you’ll break and let me in, and on that day I’m going to be standing right here—still waiting. Probably old and decrepit by then, but still here.” He let out a laugh.

  I didn’t know what to say, and this time, when he grabbed my hand and squeezed it, I resisted pulling away. He held my hand as we drove for what seemed like an eternity. I was incredibly aware of the beads of sweat running between our palms, and I wanted nothing more than to let go, but I held on, for his sake. He had been a good friend to me, after all. When he finally let go, he pulled the car over onto the shoulder and stopped.

  “Uh, what are you doing?” I looked around, trying to figure out what he had planned. We were in the middle of nowhere, the highway stretching out for miles in front of us.

  “I’m stopping,” he said simply.

  “Well, yeah, I can see that. Can I ask why you are stopping?”

  “Because,” he said with a smirk, unbuckling his seat belt, “you are going to drive us home.”

  “What? What are you talking about? No! I can’t. Let’s just go home. I really don’t want to!” I screamed, but he was already out of the car and making his way to my door. I jumped up and pressed the lock down as fast as I could. He pounded on the window.

  “C’mon. Open up, Jaicey, now!” he demanded.

  I shook my head insistently, but he continued to pound on the window. “Open up, Jaicey. Open the door.”

  “Brayden, come on. Please don’t do this,” I begged him, panic setting in. “We are in the middle of the road.”

  “We’re hardly in the middle of the road. I pulled over.” He smiled, though we were clearly still partially in the lane.

  “Seriously.” I finally opened my door, frowning at him. “I don’t want to drive. Come on, let’s just go. Please.” My heart pounded in my chest. I was amazed he couldn’t hear it.

  He motioned toward the other side of the car. “Okay, let’s go. You first.”

  “No! I mean it. I told you I don’t drive. And I’ve never driven this car before. I don’t want to drive. Please, can we just go? I can drive. I just don’t want to, honest. Ple—”

  I stopped suddenly when I heard it, the roar of an engine behind us. I looked up and saw a green semi-truck coming down the road in our lane. I swallowed and looked at him. He stood unwavering as the truck grew closer. My throat was closing up, and I feared I couldn’t act fast enough to do anything. I was going to end up on one of those crime shows my grandpa always watched.

  The driver was honking at us, the sounds growing closer and closer, but there was nothing I could do. It was seconds away, and we were cl
early in the way.

  “Brayden! Please! Please!”

  I had no idea my heart could beat so fast. I thought quickly, leaping from the car, and landed on top of him just in time to see the truck wiz past us, honking, the driver cursing loudly out his window.

  I kept my face buried in his shirt until I felt him shaking. I looked up and saw that he was laughing hysterically. I didn’t know I was crying until saw the dark stains on his t-shirt. “You’ve got to be kidding me. What is wrong with you? Are you seriously laughing? Do you think this is funny?”

  “No,” he said through his laughter. “I, I mean, yeah. It is kind of funny. You should have seen your face.”

  I punched his stomach, making him double over. “It’s not funny! We could have died.”

  “That’s why it was funny. And we didn’t die now did we? Learn to live a little, Jaicey, gosh. What in the world do you have to be so afraid of?”

  “I’m not afraid. I’m cautious. God, I just don’t want to die,” I said to him forcefully, looking away from him as he continued to laugh at me.

  Without warning, he immediately pressed his hand into my stomach and began tickling me. At first I was stiff, trying to push him away, but eventually I gave into laughter until my stomach burned, and I screamed, resting my face in his neck. As painful as it was for me to admit, he smelled good. Really good. I held my breath, trying not to breathe the scent of him in. Finally, I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the sky. We were quiet for a while, just staring up into space.

  He rolled over and looked at me, not saying a word, a small smile still on his lips. He looked from my lips to my eyes, then leaned a few inches closer to my face. His eyes were so calming; it was easy to forget about everything else while staring into them. He grew closer, and suddenly, I knew what was coming. I threw my hands up in defense. “So, um, we should probably get going. My parents will be wondering where I am.” I interrupted the almost-kiss, moving myself out from under him.

  He stared at me for a moment before recuperating, not a shred of embarrassment on his face. I, on the other hand, had to be nearly the color of a tomato.

  “Okay, fine. But come on then. If we’re leaving, you have to drive,” he said and stood up without saying another word.

  I tried to protest, but he tossed the keys at me and climbed into the passenger seat.

  Begrudgingly, I walked over to the driver’s side and opened the door. I was instantly reminded of how much taller than me he was, because the moment I slid into the seat, I had to scoot it up to the steering wheel as he snickered quietly from his side. I slid the key into the ignition, remembering this feeling. I stepped on the brake and slid the gearshift into drive, feeling my heart flutter. I stepped on the gas pedal. The car lurched forward with a start. Brayden laughed, obviously enjoying himself way too much.

  “Woo!” he cheered, throwing his arms into the air as if he were on a rollercoaster as we gained speed. “Look at you, driving like an old pro! I guess you weren’t lying after all.”

  I turned on my blinker, checking the lane and entering the highway smoothly. I stuck out my tongue, feeling a sense of happiness for the first time in what seemed like years. “I told you!” I could feel the grin on my face growing contagiously. In that moment, I felt it. I was letting him in. I was beginning to trust him; he had broken down a wall and for a split second that felt good. He laid his hand down, open—an invitation. I took my hand off of the wheel and placed it cautiously in his, my skin tingling as it touched his. He picked my hand up and pressed it to his mouth in a light kiss. I was completely out of my comfort zone, but I refused to shy away.

  Suddenly, I heard it: the quiet, painful cries of a young girl. I saw the speedometer hitting 70, but it wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t go fast enough. I felt my foot push the pedal harder, harder. My vision grew blurry, and everything in me hurt. I could smell the blood. I saw the headlights in my eyes, heard the honking horn, felt my whole body tense up. I heard her screams again, mixing with my own, heard the sickening crunch of metal on metal. Then came the explosion and the fire. It was everywhere, consuming my whole body, burning my hair and flesh. I felt my blood pouring from my body, soaking through my clothes. It was all I could do to move. I was in so much pain. My screams didn’t even sound human. Screaming. Screaming. Someone was screaming my name.

  “Jaicey! Jaicey!”

  I jerked my eyes open and slammed on the brakes. The tires squealed and I was brought back to reality. There was no fire, no flames. The only screaming was my own. I shook in fear, afraid of what had just happened. It was a dream so real and vivid I could still feel the heat of it on my skin.

  “Stop! Calm down! Stop! Stop!” He had unbuckled his seat belt and was out of the car before it had even completely stopped, running to my side. He jerked open my door and I fell out into his arms and onto my knees. He grasped my shoulders, shaking me, rubbing my head. “Oh God, what’s wrong? Please stop. Please. You’re scaring me. What happened? What was that?” His words tumbled out, making no real sense to either of us.

  I couldn’t speak, the vision still filling my head. I collapsed into his arms and shook in a cold sweat. My breath pounded out of me like I had just run a marathon. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. It had felt so real—all of it. Tears poured down my face, mixing with my sweat. I just knew I was going to die right then and there if my heart didn’t stop pounding so quickly.

  He patted my back, rocking me back and forth and pressing his lips to my forehead. “What is it?”

  I shook my head, still unable to speak. I never wanted to speak again. Never wanted to feel that way again. My throat felt raw, as if I’d swallowed shards of glass.

  “Jaicey, please tell me what happened.” His voice was shaking, his breath warm in my hair.

  “I don’t know. I really don’t know.” I shook my head, repeating the words over and over again through my tears. “Please just take me home,” I forced myself to finally say in the calmest voice I could muster.

  He nodded, pressing our bodies together and allowing me to calm down. “Of course,” he promised.

  When I finally stopped shaking, he picked me up like a baby and carried me to the passenger’s side. I stayed nuzzled up to him until I was safely tucked down in the seat. I had never noticed how strong he was until that moment. He bore my weight effortlessly. He buckled me in with care, kissing my forehead once more without a word to acknowledge my flinch.

  Once he was back to his side and buckled in, he spoke to me softly. “Are you sure that you’re okay? I really think I should take you back to the hospital. A doctor should see you.”

  “I’m fine, thank you. Just take me home. Please,” I said, then pulled my knees to my chest and forced myself to think of nothing at all until I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 5

  Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at all. Other times, sleep consumed me and kept me for its own. When I finally woke up, I felt as though I had slept for days, years maybe. Of course, my clock shone brightly on the nightstand, reminding me of my inability to sleep past 4:04 a.m. I was lying in my bed with the covers tangled all around me, drenched in sweat, my hair sticking to me. I sat up, feeling the weight of the morning in my head. In my sleep-fogged state, the light from the streetlamp outside made me feel like I was like looking directly into the sun. I dragged my feet out from under the covers and slid out of bed.

  I walked slowly into the kitchen to find Dad sitting at the table, staring at his hands. He looked up anxiously as I entered the room.

  “Jaicey!” He stood up to meet me, shoving his chair back. “Oh, Jaicey! Thank God. We were so worried about you.” He held out his arms to wrap me in a hug. I approached him slowly, willing myself to remain calm. How much did he know? I couldn’t even remember coming home. It was as if my brain had shut down entirely.

  “I’m fine, Dad,” I mumbled into his chest. “Where’s Mom?”

  “Oh, she hasn’t gotten out of bed yet,” he said. I had to remind
myself that normal people didn’t wake up as early as I did.

  “Why are you up, Dad? It’s early.” I pulled back from him, staring at his face. I wondered if he’d been sick again.

  “I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

  He sat back down and patted the seat next to him. I sat stiffly.

  “So, what happened yesterday with that boy exactly? Your mother and I don’t know him,” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

  “I don’t know, Dad. He was just giving me a ride home.” I wasn’t exactly sure what Brayden had told them. After all, I’d only known him for a few weeks, but I already knew him to be an unnecessarily open guy. I really hoped he hadn’t told them I’d been driving. “It’s no big deal, honestly. He’s just a guy.”

  Dad threw his hands up, surrendering. “Whoa, slow down. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I think it’s great that you’re back to hanging out with friends again. I’ve just never seen you with him before.”

  “Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, he’s new this year. We’ve kind of been hanging out at school I guess. We have a lot of the same classes. We aren’t really friends though. I don’t even know him that well.”

  He smiled. “Well, he seems like a nice boy. He was so scared when he brought you home. You should’ve seen him. He carried you in all by himself. He really seems to care about you, Jaice.”

  “Yeah, well, I mean, he doesn’t know me all that well.” I couldn’t look at him anymore, the past day’s events rolling over me. I’d made myself look so stupid. It was mortifying to imagine what he must think of me.

  “Your mom really liked him,” he said, nudging me playfully with his elbow.

  I nodded.

  “Just promise me you’ll be careful, okay? And bring him around once in a while, if you’re going to start dating.”

  “We aren’t dating, Dad.” I stared at him, horrified by the very idea.