The Truth About My Scratches (The Carolina Killer Files #3)

by Kiersten Modglin

  She spoke after a while, letting me cool down first. “Is that really how you feel?”

  “Everything I’ve ever known is a lie. Now, out of nowhere, I remember what happened. What am I supposed to do with that? Where am I supposed to go from here?”

  “Wherever you want.” She smiled. “Jaicey, you go wherever you want. You do whatever you want. Isn’t that the point? Yes, you’ve got a long road ahead of you. Yes, it’s going to be hard. Yes, it’s going to hurt. Yes, you’re going to have setbacks and bad days, but the point is that you get to do anything. You get to be anyone. Aaron and Brayden Brown will never have that chance. Never. Their lives are over, Jaicey. You get the chance to build yours up again.”

  I thought about her words, tossing them around inside my head.

  “I’d like to ask you for another favor, if that’s okay?” she asked.

  “Okay.”

  “Would you come see me? I was thinking once a week, just to talk. No pressure. I want to make sure that we don’t regress back into old habits.”

  I raised my eyebrows doubtfully. “For how long?”

  “For however long you’d like. I tried to convince your parents that it was the right thing last time, but they insisted that you weren’t ready. You’ll be an adult soon, so it’s your decision now. I really think it could help you, but ultimately it’s up to you.”

  “My parents didn’t want me to talk to you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “After the first incident you had significant memory loss. I told them that it was normal after such severe trauma, and that I thought with time it would come back. They didn’t want to push you.”

  I nodded. “Can I have some time to think about it?”

  She smiled. “Of course.”

  She stood up, walking back to the door. “I’m going to let your parents back in now, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “If you need anything, anything at all, you call me.”

  “I will.”

  “Oh, and Jaicey?” she asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m really glad that you’re okay.”

  I smiled at her through the soreness of my face, trying to say thank you. She smiled back, opening the door. My parents flooded into the room. “Is she all right?”

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I answered, attempting to sit up.

  “Don’t sit up, sweetheart, not just yet. You’ll hurt yourself.”

  I lay back down. They came back over, both sitting on either side of me. Mom rubbed my scalp, where I could feel the gauze taped to my skin. “You poor thing.”

  “You guys knew all along?” I asked, tears welling to my eyes. “How could you keep it from me, Mom? How could you let me believe that nothing had happened?”

  Dad rubbed my arm. “We had no choice, Jaicey.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Honey,” my mom whispered. “Listen, after what happened, you have to understand. We thought that we had lost you. You were in a coma for months, with doctors telling us there was a good chance you’d never wake up. A good chance that we’d never see you again. So, seven months later, when you woke up, it was like a miracle. You’d come back to us after all. But, Jaicey, you weren’t the same. You were angry. You’d forgotten things, people…you were diagnosed with PTSD. Do you know what that is?”

  I did. “Yes.”

  “Honey, you couldn’t remember anything. You couldn’t tell us what had happened. You didn’t recognize your friends or Derek. It was like you’d just forgotten who you were. The police were able to arrest your teacher by running the plates on the car you’d been driving. Apparently, he’d owned some property near the lake, where they found him. They never told us where. We didn’t ask. Your doctor told us that you would regain your memory after time, or at least that’s what she believed. We started out taking you to sessions with Dr. Townsend, trying to get you to remember, but the sessions just upset you. We only cared that the man who had done this to you was locked up, and he was. We didn’t see a point in putting you through those sessions just to have you remember something that would only hurt you. After a few weeks, we decided it was best to keep you home with us. To let you heal, to let you remember in your own time, on your own terms, Jaicey. We were only doing what we thought was best for you. We love you so much. We just wanted to keep you safe and happy, no matter what the cost.”

  “Jaice,” my dad said, speaking up, “we didn’t want to lie to you. Not once. That was never the intention. We just wanted to keep you safe. The less you remembered, the less painful we believed your life would be. We wanted to spare you any sort of pain we could.”

  “If we’d have just known, if we’d have just asked. He took you to the lighthouse, Brayden…that was where your teacher had kept you, wasn’t it?” She said “your teacher” as if the words were taboo.

  I nodded cautiously.

  “Oh God.” My mother cried out, looking at my father. “We could have stopped this. We could have saved you.”

  I squeezed her fingers with my good hand. “It’s okay, Mom. It’s over. It’s all over.”

  She rubbed a piece of hair out of my eye, attempting to smile.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  Mom and Dad looked at each other, fear in their eyes, “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

  “I mean, how did I get out? Did you all come home? I didn’t fight back. I couldn’t do it anymore.” The question had haunted me since I’d regained consciousness, and now I needed to know.

  “Oh.” Dad frowned, sad tears in his eyes. “No, Jaicey. We didn’t come home. We were still here when you arrived. We watched them wheel you past us. We didn’t even know what had happened.”

  “But then I don’t understand. How can that be? How am I here right now? How am I alive?”

  My mom looked up to my dad, who smiled at me. “Actually, on that note, I don’t think we’re the right people to answer that. You have a few visitors that we’d like to let in, if that’s okay?”

  I nodded, staring at the door as my dad approached it and pulled it open dramatically. He disappeared for a few seconds as we sat in silence, and reappeared with Mallory and Derek by his side. I gasped.

  Mallory had tears streaming down her painted up face. Her hair had fallen from its formal style. She rushed toward me, her face red from crying. “Jaicey!” she called as she ran into the room, holding her arms out and falling onto my chest in sobs. Her touch hurt me, but I couldn’t bear to pull away. She squeezed my shoulders, her whole body shaking. “Oh God, Jaicey. We were so worried about you. Oh God, Oh God.” She stood up, wiping her tears away and looking at me. “How are you?” She turned to my mom before I could answer. “How is she? What did the doctors say? Is she going to be all right?” And then back to me. “Are you going to be all right?”

  “Yes,” my mom and I answered in unison.

  “She’s going to be fine,” my mom told her.

  “Thanks to you.” My dad spoke up, patting Mallory on the shoulder.

  My jaw dropped. “You? Mal, it was you? You saved me?”

  She smiled, her face beautiful even through her tear-stained makeup. “Not me. Derek. I called nine-one-one, but he saved you, Jaice. It was all him.”

  I looked up to Derek, who had been standing back near the door, still looking unsure. “You?”

  He took a step forward apprehensively, then stopped. He cleared his throat. I noticed his eyes were swollen and bloodshot and he had a new cut on his lip. “Yeah, it was no big deal.”

  “No big deal?” Mallory turned to him. “Tell her what you did! Tell her, Derek.”

  He stood firm, though he looked unsure of himself. “I’m just so glad you are okay.”

  “Jaicey, he saved your life! We pulled up to your house tonight and heard screams. Derek looked in your window. He saw what was happening to you.” Tears began to pour down her cheeks even though she was smiling. “He ran back to our limo and told me to call nine-one-one. Without even
waiting for the police, he busted in the door and knocked him out. Just like that. He just pummeled him. It was like a movie or something. I couldn’t even believe it.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” Derek said, his face turning red.

  “Yes it was. Of course it was. Oh, Jaice, it was so heroic. He broke in your window and I heard his screams. Brayden, of course, not Derek. And then Tyler and Alex came in and helped him tie him down until the police got there. It was just the most exciting thing. He was just amazing, Jaicey. So amazing. We all went into action. We found you on the floor. The police showed up. It was the scariest thing that’s ever happened. Oh, I’m just so glad that you’re okay.” She smiled at Derek dotingly.

  “Enough, Mallory. She’s tired. She doesn’t need to hear all of this.” Derek shifted awkwardly by the bed.

  Mom sat with tears in her eyes, confirming the story. My dad patted Derek on the back, not saying a word. Derek stood in the background, refusing to make eye contact with me.

  “Mom? Dad?” I asked, “Mal? Could I have a second alone?”

  “Of course,” they all agreed happily, each patting me on the head as they made their way toward the door. Mom kissed my forehead. I watched Derek grab a hold of the door handle. “Wait,” I called out to him.

  They all turned back to me. “Stay.” I stared at Derek, seeing him finally look me in the eye for the first time all evening. “Please.”

  He nodded, graciously stepping back and letting each of the others leave from the room. He lingered by the door once it was shut.

  “Is that true? What she said? That you saved me? That you broke into my house and attacked Brayden?”

  “Well, it didn’t happen like she said.”

  “How did it happen then?” I asked him softly, watching him pace around the room, staying far from my bed.

  “It wasn’t heroic, Jaice. I mean, he punched me as often as I punched him. I was just lucky I caught him by surprise quick enough to knock the knife from his hand. If Tyler and Alex hadn’t been there, I don’t even know if I would’ve gotten him down. The police were there just as soon as we were trying to tie him up. It wasn’t some heroic effort. We were just dumb kids getting in the cops’ way.”

  “You broke into my house?”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t—”

  I interrupted him. “You took on Brayden when he had a knife?”

  “I knocked the knife away. I didn’t even see it until I was already in the house. It was stupid, I know. I could just hear you screaming and I wasn’t thinking.” He looked at me seriously then.

  “You attacked him? You knocked him out?”

  “I hit him, yes, and he hit me right back.” He pointed to the cut on his lip. “I was only able to take him down with Alex and Tyler’s help. The cops said I should have waited for them. It was stupid, I know.”

  “I would’ve been dead,” I whispered, hating the way it sounded out loud.

  “What?” he asked, taking a step closer.

  “I would have been dead, Derek. I would have been dead if you’d waited. You saved my life.”

  “No,” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes. “No. No, I didn’t.”

  “You did.” I nodded. “You saved me.”

  “I did?” he asked, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

  “Why? Why would you do that?”

  “You honestly have to ask?” He smiled, taking a step toward my bed.

  “You love me?” I asked, my voice cracking.

  He nodded, unable to speak.

  “And I love you?” I asked again, feeling the tears begin to fall.

  He nodded again. “Yes, Jaicey. Yes, we love each other very much. I’ve always loved you. Since you were six years old, running around covered in dirt in my back yard.” He walked to my bed. We stared at each other as minutes, hours, and years seemed to pass by, each of us speechless, tears flowing freely. He held out his hand, ready to touch my face, but stopped. “Is this okay?” he asked, wanting permission to touch me.

  “Yes,” I said, closing my eyes as his hand made contact with my cheek. His hand was warm and soft, familiar. He leaned down to sit on my bed, careful not to obstruct any wires or IVs.

  “Do you remember everything?”

  I opened my eyes. “Everything.”

  “You remember me? You remember us?”

  “Especially you, especially us.”

  He leaned into me, his face growing closer to mine. I watched his lips approaching, his eyes locking with mine. Our lips touched in slow motion, familiar and yet new all at once. Our kiss was amazing and beautiful, full of love and forgiveness and understanding. He moved his hand to my head, running his fingers slowly through my hair. He pulled back from our kiss before I was ready for it to end, my heartbeat dancing in my chest. He kissed my cheek, where I knew a bruise must be; my nose where it was swollen and sore; and then he stared at my neck. I didn’t flinch as he ran his lips along every single scar, kissing each as he went.

  I flashed back to Brayden, him telling me he could never love a scarred, ugly face like mine, then stared at Derek, more handsome and breathtaking than Brayden could ever be.

  “Are you sure about this, Derek?” I asked. “I’m not like I used to be. I’m scarred, for lack of a better word, and I don’t just mean here.” I touched my neck.

  He stared at me, love filling his eyes, his head cocked to the side as if I were being ridiculous. He kissed me again, this time more quickly, but it still took my breath away. “Are you kidding? I’ve always been sure about us, Jaicey. You’re beautiful. You’re the most amazing girl I know. I love you.”

  I kissed him back then, wrapping my arms around his neck. The passion that filled our kiss had us both breathless and I felt our tears running down each other’s cheeks, meeting and joining. As our kiss ended, he laid his head on my chest.

  “I’ve missed you.” He sighed nervously.

  “Derek?” I asked, suddenly realizing something.

  “Yeah?” He sat up and looked at me.

  “There’s still something I’m confused about.”

  He held my hand. “What is it, Jaice? Ask me anything.”

  “How did you know to come? Why were you at my house? How did you know I was in danger?”

  He smiled at me, kissing my nose. “I didn’t, actually. It turned out to be good luck. I was just coming to get you to go to prom.”

  “What?” I asked in-between his kisses. “How can that be? I told you I was going to prom with Brayden.”

  “I know that.” He kissed me again.

  I put my hands to his chest, stopping his kisses momentarily. “I told you that I wouldn’t go with you.”

  “I know that too.” He smirked.

  “So, then why were you there?”

  “I told you,” he insisted. “I was coming to pick you up for prom.”

  I stared at him, my eyebrows raised. I was desperately trying to understand.

  “Jaicey Paige Thomas, we have been talking about going to senior prom together since we were old enough to know what a prom was. We said we were going to show our grandchildren our prom pictures and tell them about how strong our love was, how it got us through everything.” He took my hand from his chest and kissed it. “Did you really think there was any way in hell that I was going to let you go to prom with anyone but me?”

  I smiled at him, overwhelmed with how good loving him felt.

  “Besides,” he threw in, “I knew you’d have to change your mind once you saw how dashing I looked in my tux.” He adjusted his collar cockily and grinned at me. Oh, how I’d missed that grin.

  “Hey.” I leaned up and kissed him. “I guess you’re right. I’m so sorry you missed it, you and Mallory too. Where are the others? You said Tyler and Alex were with you all?”

  “They’re all out in the waiting room.”

  “All of you? Mal and Tyler and Alex and Alyssa?”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “And they’re all going to be mad if I keep keeping
you all to myself. Not that I don’t enjoy it.”

  “Oh, no. I didn’t want you all to miss prom. What time is it? Did you already miss it? You can’t miss prom just because of me. You have to leave, go. Enjoy the night.”

  “Shhh.” He squeezed my hand gently. “Jaice. It’s four in the morning. Prom is over.”

  “Oh no.” I closed my eyes, covering my face with my hands. I felt awful. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. “I ruined this night for all of you.”

  “No.” He pulled my hands down. “No. He ruined it for everyone, Jaicey, not you. We’re all here because we want to be here. We wanted to stay with you and make sure that you were going to be okay. We’re your friends, Jaicey, and we’ve missed you. God, we’ve all missed you so much. We weren’t leaving here without you, and we weren’t going to prom unless we were all together. We agreed.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.” He smiled.

  “Can I see them?” I asked.

  “Well, you’d better. They’re all dying to see you. In fact, I don’t think they were going to give you a choice after a while.” He smiled, standing up.

  “Wait, Derek.”

  “Yeah?” He stopped.

  “Can I clean myself up a bit?” I asked.

  “Babe, you look fine.”

  I cringed, realizing I could feel my blood drying on my face. “Please?”

  “All right.” He gave in. “Hang on a second.” He pressed the “Call Nurse” button on my bed, and within seconds, a nurse was at my door.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked, looking frazzled.

  I smiled sheepishly. “I want to wash my face. Can I do that?”

  She frowned. “I don’t know. You aren’t really supposed to be up.”

  “We can help her,” Derek offered. “At least let her get some of the blood off of her face.”