Love Survives: The BWWM Interracial Romance Collection (Volume 1)

by Dez Burke

  ***

  Chevaine felt like she could barely breathe, so she left the river and went home. Somehow she felt distant from everything, as if she was not really there. Chevaine slept through the rest of the baptisms, the service under the tent, the fun day, and the night’s service.

  Her mother noticed she was missing but knew her daughter to be responsible, so paid little attention. Her father was not so quick to dismiss this. He found her asleep, so he stayed in the house to make sure she was okay. He knew something was wrong with his daughter but knew not what.

  It was a weekend and she had nowhere to go the following morning, so no one woke her when she did not come out of her room. It was past midday when Chevaine finally came out, not looking rested at all.

  “Chev, you okay?” It was her father who spoke. “You been sleepin’ from yesterday, wha’ happen?”

  “Just felt tired, Daddy,” she told him. He looked at her exhausted features and nodded his grey head.

  “You been working too hard,” he agreed immediately, “you need a vacation.”

  “I’ll be fine, Daddy, I just need some rest.”

  She spent the rest of the day trying to read but could not concentrate. Her mind would wander off to nowhere in particular. Grading her students’ papers seemed to work better but they took longer than they usually take to do.

  At mealtime, the food tasted like powder in her mouth and eating was a chore. Her mother did notice how she picked at her food and mentioned it. Chevaine told her mother that she wasn’t really hungry, so Mrs. Cameron dropped the matter.

  Monday came and Chevaine was not feeling any better. She was constantly tired, feeing down and sad. It was a good thing she didn’t have to go to the church office for she was sure she couldn’t handle seeing John. She went through the motions of teaching her class but her students noticed she wasn’t herself. They tried to cheer her up with wild flowers and mangoes which worked for a little while, but soon the hurt feelings came back. It reached the point where she wanted to go home really badly, so much that she almost did.

  She could barely get out of bed in the mornings but she kept telling herself that if she just got a little more sleep she would be fine. Cancelling her extra lessons was the only solution, she thought. She told the principal she was very tired and maybe after getting some rest she would be better, but weeks passed without any relief to her tired heart.

  ***

  John tried to get used to the new girl who seemed to spend more time on her cell phone than she did working. He tried to guide her with a gentle hand but it got to the point where he had to be doing her work as well as his. The only thing left to do was tell her to either start working or he would be forced to let her go.

  There was not one day which passed that he didn’t wonder about Chevaine. He hadn’t seen her since the day before the baptism and often wondered how she was doing. It wasn’t pride which kept him from asking after her but respect, for he thought that was what she wanted. The fact that she hadn’t even stopped by to check on the new girl was unlike her, so his only answer was that Chevaine must really not want to see him.

  He often wondered if it was something he did that had turned her against him. Was it that night of the storm? Was she disappointed in him for his moment of weakness? He stood by the office window and looked out over the lush greenery of Cotton Tree and wished he wasn’t there. He wished he hadn’t asked to be sent to Jamaica. He had once felt sure that this was where he was supposed to be, but the dreams he had were now nightmares. Before he was sent on this mission, he had recurring dreams of an island with warm people and sunny smiles that could light up any day. He saw himself settling on that island and being very happy. Now he knew it was just his own desires for adventures that led him here and not the will of the Lord.

  John closed his eyed and prayed, asking God to forgive his folly and to open his eyes to what he should do next. As soon as he opened his eyes he knew exactly what to do. He had no doubt this time and he headed to the telephone and closed his office door for privacy.

  ***

  “Oh God!”

  “Susan? You alright?” Robert asked his wife. They were in the back garden, he picking ackees and she removing the skins.

  “Di baby a come!”

  “You sure?” he questioned a little anxiously.

  “You don’t have to shout, you know,” she replied, her voice betraying her discomfort.

  Quickly, he bundled her in the car with the bags which were packed and waiting but before he could start the engine she called out to him, “Get Mrs. Cameron, di wata broke!”

  She managed to walk back to the house and laid on the bed awaiting help. In less than fifteen minutes, three women entered the house and bustled about. Susan noticed that Chevaine was not present. Chevaine had promised that she would be beside her should the baby be born at home.

  “Where’s Chevaine?” Susan asked Mrs. Cameron.

  “She’s not feeling well so I didn’t want to wake her.” It was past eleven in the morning and it was strange to Susan that Chevaine would be in bed, but if she wasn’t well then maybe it was for the best that she needed to rest.

  These women were very experienced in assisting a birthing and knew exactly what to do. Susan knew she was in good hands and there was nowhere she would rather have her baby than in her own bed, but her friend not being there bothered her. She began to worry, which sent up her blood pressure a bit.

  She didn’t know how she knew it, but Mrs. Boothe, who was sitting beside her wrist, told her to calm down or the birth might be difficult. “You can’t worry ‘bout nothin’ right now chile, just concentrate pon di baby,” she gently chided.

  It wasn’t long before she felt her limbs give way and a tearing pain in her abdomen. Screaming, she gave one push, then another and another, then felt a release as she sensed the baby slide out of her. Momentarily, a wail sounded to confirm that it was okay.

  “You have a boy, God bless you,” Mrs. Cameron said, her wrinkled face creasing in a wonderful smile.

  When Chevaine heard about Susan’s baby she was very disappointed that she could not have been there. She tried to go see her but wanted to wait until she felt better, as it was bad luck to visit a newborn when you are ill.

  Susan was busy with her baby but something about Chevaine’s illness was just not right and it worried her. Having a young baby, she was not permitted to leave the house just yet, maybe for another week or two, except when they went to see the doctor to make sure she and the baby were passed as healthy. But Susan wanted to visit Chevaine very badly.

  It was getting harder for her to concentrate on anything or even get out of bed. When there was no school she slept until late and ate nothing much. She lost weight and her father started to worry that maybe she was taking on too much work at school. No one knew what was happening to Chevaine and John hadn’t seen her in over a month.

  He, too, was busy getting things in order. The building was almost ready and he was proud of that. He had had pictures taken of all the accomplishments along with the people he’d met, and put them together in albums. He wanted them to see their journey and remember where they started. He, too, wanted to have something to remember his journey from the day he arrived and every event thereafter. The idea was Chevaine’s and he thought it was a great thing to do.

  He presented the album to the church on the last Sunday in February, the same day that Susan’s baby was christened. The whole community turned to out celebrate. It was like a potluck day when everyone brought a dish they made for the occasion, a celebration of birth.

  The food was left in the kitchen of the new building, which now had a roof. The only work left to be done was the flooring, rendering of the walls, putting in the windows, and the painting. The christening done, John looked over at the congregation of happy faces with a somber expression.

  “Dear brethren. You have become a family to me. From the very first day I arrived here, you took me in, took care of me, and tre
ated me like your own. I have been greatly blessed to have experienced such a community as yours and this warms my heart.” He tried very hard to keep his voice clear.

  “Yeah!” someone said and the crowd cheered.

  “I love each and every one of you and no matter what, you will always be my family. For the past few months, I have wrestled with my own demons but now have found the answer.”

  “Trust God, brother, have faith!” came a response.

  “That’s exactly what I did. I trusted God and had faith that he would lead me in the right direction. Church I have some news…” He paused for a moment.

  “Tell us, Pastor,” someone else called. Excited whispers could be heard under the tent.

  “This will be my last day here as your pastor. I will be returning home tomorrow.”

  Chapter Six

  Staring out the window, Chevaine remembered the last few months of her life and wondered what really happened. As the memory of her heart break surfaced, she winced and shook her head, trying to forget the pain and looking forward to a new day.

  The day she found out that John had left was the breaking point for her. She had missed the service at church that Sunday. As she recalled, she had missed a lot of things. That day as she remembered it, Chevaine had spent the day in bed. Her energy was gone and it was very difficult for her even to get up. All she wanted was to cover her head with the sheets and sleep herself into oblivion.

  Her mom had prepared dinner before leaving for church but Chevaine hadn’t noticed. When Mrs. Cameron came home, Chevaine was still in bed and hadn’t even brushed her teeth. She was almost late for school the following morning and rushed out before her mom could get two words in. It was later that Monday afternoon when she came home and was having dinner that Mrs. Cameron told her about John’s decision to go back to Canada.

  “When is he leaving mom?”

  “He left this morning, he told us in church yesterday,” her mother replied. “I thought he would have come to say goodbye but he didn’t. He just left.”

  “Why did you expect him to do that?”

  “Because you said he loved you. He should have come say goodbye to you especially,” she said adamantly.

  “He thinks I don’t love him, Mommy. His heart is broken just like mine! I can’t stand this, I just wanna die!” Chevaine had tried to get up from the chair, but before she could take a step her world became black and she sank to the floor.

  Now, she spent her time looking out the window at nothing in particular. The sky was clear except for a few splashes of white clouds here and there. It was fair weather and it seemed so long since she had enjoyed anything, so she decided to try and enjoy this. But her mind went back to that day at the dinner table.

  It was only then that her parents realized that something was dreadfully wrong with Chevaine. She had no idea what was going on, but her dad had recounted the events to her. He told her that they had called the taxi to take her to the hospital, as the clinic was closed. He had helped her to come out of her unconscious state by placing a bottle of smelling salts under nose to awaken her.

  The conclusion was that Chevaine was suffering from depression and mental exhaustion. She was also becoming ill from not eating properly and was dehydrated. She spent two weeks in the hospital getting counseling and nutrition therapy. She eventually left the hospital better than she came in, but still broken hearted.

  Mrs. Cameron suffered her own issues of guilt and the realization that her stubborn nature made her almost lose her daughter. That same stubbornness made the community lose a good pastor and her a potential son-in-law.

  As she sat at her daughter’s bedside in the hospital, Mrs. Cameron made a decision that she would rather lose her daughter to a white man from another country, one she knew next to nothing about, than see her like that. She looked at her daughter, hoping it was not too late, her heart filled with regret for her actions.

  As Chevaine’s mind came back to the present, she felt a jolt and realized the time was approaching when her new life would officially start. Either she would get what she wanted or she would start searching for something new.

  The next thing she knew, all the passengers were retrieving their luggage and getting off the plane one by one. The chilled air greeted her as she descended the steps. There wasn’t much difference between this airport and the one from which she had departed except that this one was huge.

  “So this is America!” she exclaimed to herself in a whisper.

  The John F. Kennedy airport was very busy, bustling with people getting on or off several air carriers. As Chevaine walked through the airport building, she realized the place was different from her local airport in Jamaica. There was security personal everywhere with dogs, batons, or guns. A shuttle was waiting to take her to Columbia University, which was only thirty minutes away. Leaving behind her home community was very difficult, but a new chapter was ready to begin.

  Her shuttle took her directly to the Columbia University where she would be pursuing her Master’s degree in education. She also hoped that she could complete her doctoral studies there as well. The apartment she would share had her own private bedroom, only sharing the common areas. This was more than enough for Chevaine, though she would have much preferred a studio type accommodation.

  It took her a while to find her apartment even with the campus map she was given with her package. Other students were quite helpful in guiding her and she was grateful that she had a few days before starting classes so she could get familiar with the premises. As soon as she was settled, Chevaine called home.

  “Hi, Mommy,” she said as soon as her mother picked up the phone. Mrs. Cameron was pleased to hear a hint of excitement in her daughter’s voice. She had spent the last few months trying to make up to her the pain she had caused. Secretly, she hoped that her plan would work.

  “Is everything alright?”

  “Yes, Mommy. I’m in my bedroom now and it’s very comfortable.”

  “You see anybody you know yet?” Mrs. Cameron asked.

  “Mommy, I may never see anybody I know. Remember, this is my first time in America!” Chevaine chuckled and thought her mom silly for asking such a question.

  “You never know who might see. The world is not as big as you think,” her mother replied.

  “Love you, Mommy, talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Love you, too, my baby girl.”

  They said their goodbyes and Chevaine got into unpacking her cases after which she decided to tour the campus. Even though she would be fixing most of her own meals she wanted to know where the campus restaurants were for she was already feeling hungry.

  She also wanted to call Susan when she returned from her walk. The two had gotten really close over the last few months. Susan had been her rock and the only one she could talk to. She hadn’t told Susan who her love interest was but she did explain the situation. Besides, she knew in her heart that Susan already knew.

  She spent the next few days getting to know the campus grounds so that when her classes started it would be easier on her. She made a few new friends and was even asked out on dates. She was surprised that there were so many people close to her own age attending the college. Chevaine had been certain that she would have been amongst the oldest set of college students on campus and was apprehensive in the beginning, but as she interacted with many of the other students she began to relax. She was not interested in dating and turned down a few offers.

  The months went by really quickly and she was settling into her program really well. Attending Columbia University was a dream of hers and her parents had worked really hard to be able to pay part her tuition. The balance was paid for by a company which was willing to sponsor her so long as she came back to Jamaica to teach when she was done. It was an easy decision to make because Chevaine had never planned on living anywhere else.

  Her busy days were filled with lectures and study groups. She hardly had time to see this section of New York. She was thi
nking of taking the weekend to do some exploring as a means of relaxation, so she was on her way to the library to complete an assignment early, which would free her Saturday for the excursion. Her head was cast down, reading from her text, when all of a sudden she collided with someone, her books falling to the floor.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized, bending to pick up her books.

  “Chevaine?” His voice was unmistakable. She could never forget those smooth rich tones which usually made her heart skip a beat whenever she heard him speak. This time her heart stopped, or so it felt to her. Looking up, her eyes connected with those beautiful blue eyes she yearned to see.

  “John?” Her voice came out in a whisper for she could hardly believe that he was actually there. Somehow, she felt as if she was dreaming.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Was this a coincidence?” he asked himself, not wanting to know the answer. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and sweater. It was fall, so the weather called for warm clothing. She smelled of raspberries and remembered she told him she used raspberry shampoo.

  “I-I-I–,” Chevaine could not find the words.

  He so badly wanted to pull her into his arms but he resisted as the memory of his departure from Jamaica and the circumstances which preceded it surfaced. John helped her pick up the books which had fallen and as he saw their titles it dawned on him that she was attending school there.

  “You go to school here?” he asked, somewhat disappointed that she hadn’t come in search of him.

  “Uh-huh,” she replied. Chevaine tried to still her heartbeat as her pulse raced.

  “Oh.” His disappointment sounded in his voice.

  “It was my mom’s idea. She thought it was time I pursued my dream. She basically arranged the whole thing herself,” Chevaine informed John.