Bridge of Doom

by George McCartney

  'Are the cops on the case?'

  'Obviously the store informs the police each time they’re hit. But they aren't terribly interested in investigating these kind of cases, apparently.'

  'Yeah, unfortunately that's true, Annie. Unless the shop-lifter is actually caught red-handed outside the shop in possession of tagged merchandise and there's supporting video evidence, which gives the cops an easy conviction when it comes to court. So what are they stealing?'

  'It's expensive handbags mainly. Sometimes fancy watches as well, but handbags seem to be their main thing. Presumably they've established a ready market for them. Probably selling them on eBay, if I was guessing.'

  'Okay, so how expensive are these bags?'

  'The full retail price can be anywhere between five hundred pounds and two grand, or more, so they definitely don't take any old rubbish. They're going straight for the big designer names that women see the celebs being photographed with. Givenchy, Mulberry and Yves Saint Laurent, you know.'

  'Not really, I've been re-using the same Tesco carrier bag ever since the shops started charging five pence for a new one. Seriously, that's an awful lot of dough for just one handbag. I don't get it, this obsession that some women have with handbags and shoes. My ex-wife was exactly the same and I remember towards the end of our marriage there was hardly any room left in the wardrobe for any of my stuff. Although, looking back on it, it was probably an extremely unsubtle hint that I was past my sell-by date and about to get the hook.’

  'It's just fashion, boss, and has absolutely nothing to do with practicality. Some women like to show off to other women. The logic is that, even if you've put on a few pounds and can't get into a fashionable new dress, or squeeze your buns into a pair of the latest must-have skinny jeans, you can still go out and buy a new bag or a pair of shoes to cheer yourself up. Okay, and before you go all morally superior on me, I agree that it's totally shallow and materialistic. But it's exactly the same thing that men do all the time, with their fancy cars and big expensive watches.'

  'Fair point, Annie. It's always interesting to get the female perspective on this kind of thing. But I can say with some certainty that, when they're considering how hot a woman is, most men don't give a shit about what kind of handbag she's carrying, or who designed her fancy shoes. That kind of stuff just doesn’t register with men.'

  'But I do remember a guy in the Royal Bar telling me once at closing time, that he really fancied getting hold of a tagged whore. At least that's what I thought he said. He was pretty pissed and slurring his speech, so I thought he meant he was heading off to see a local hooker, who was subject to a home detention curfew and had to wear one of those electronic ankle bracelets.'

  'Sorry? You've lost me again.'

  'What the drunk guy actually fancied wasn't the company of a lady of the night, it was one of those big Tag Heuer watches he was lusting after. You know, electronic tagging and a convicted prostitute. A tagged whore, geddit? Never mind, forget it.'

  'Actually, I do get it. It’s just not funny, boss.'

  'Please yourself. So I take it you would like me to get up off my arse and give you a hand on this one?'

  'Yes, that would be really great, if you're sure that you're ready to start work full-time again. I don't know nearly enough about how shoplifting gangs operate and I definitely need help. I must be missing something really obvious.'

  'Not a problem, Annie. Actually I’ve been feeling a bit better the last couple of days and I've always wanted to mince around one of these big department stores, with a tape measure draped around my shoulders. You know, just like Mr Humphries from Grace Brothers, saying, 'I'm free' and asking all the customers, 'are you being served?'

  'I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about,' said Annie, who was wondering if she still had the phone number handy for Jack's doctor.

  'No, of course you don't, you're a mere child. 'Are You Being Served' was a really popular television programme way back in the seventies and eighties. Ah, those were happy days, Annie. Half an hour of prime time television, packed full of smut and double entendres for all the family to enjoy. Of course, that was a much more innocent time and there was absolutely no swearing or nudity involved. All the filth was implied rather than smacking you right in the face like a wet kipper, the way programmes do nowadays. And part of the charm was that all of the characters in the show had their own little catch phrases, which they faithfully trotted out every week. Old Mrs Slocombe only had to wink and do one of her saucy pouts, then mention that she'd spent most of the previous evening at home stroking her pussy, and twenty million television viewers immediately convulsed and wet their drawers laughing. I believe you can still find most of the episodes on YouTube.'

  'That's really good to know,' said Annie, unconvincingly.

  'But kidding aside, I know shoplifting is a major problem for the shops. Even if a thief is caught in the act with the stolen goods, the law is so weak that repeat offenders usually get off with just a small fine and a slap on the wrist. It's actually quite a smart choice if you're a career criminal, because of the low risk of being sent to prison.'

  'So presumably the full-time shoplifting gangs take the odd pull and a fine in their stride, as simply part of the game. No worries, no sweat.'

  'Exactly, Annie. The published statistics for shoplifting are bad enough but the reality is actually much worse, because a lot of retailers have simply given up reporting thefts to the police. They know from past experience that the police often won't respond. They aren't interested, viewing it as a victimless crime. This is complete madness, of course, but it means that the onus is now on individual retailers to try and do everything they can themselves, to limit in-store theft. Most of the people doing this are pros, Annie, and they do it for a living. I'm prepared to bet right now that the gang we're after will be well dressed, respectable looking and, if challenged by store security, they’ll have a range of plausible excuses ready.'

  'So if they've effectively been abandoned by the police, how can the shops protect themselves?'

  'All the big retailers nationwide share information on known offenders and they also have local early warning systems, to alert neighbouring stores if they suspect that a gang is hitting their street or mall. This is big business and the top shoplifting gangs usually travel around all the big cities in rotation, so they don't get too well known in one location. They're also very good at changing their appearance to avoid detection. Okay, the returns obviously aren't as good as for drug dealing, but the flipside is that the risks are a lot less. The reality is that you would need to be a pretty prolific and incompetent shoplifter, to ever get any serious jail time.’

  'These guys don’t just wander in off the street and say, ‘oh that looks nice, I’ll have one of those.’ They’ll have done their homework in advance, by checking out the store's website, to keep up with the latest promotions and identify the high value, premium products they want to target. And if they’ve not hit a particular shop before, they'll do a recce beforehand to familiarise themselves with the store's layout, spot the cameras and clock the in-house security team. Although in some shops that’s not very difficult, to be honest. You just look for wee old guys, wearing dark coloured suits that look as if they were made for a giant. Anyway when the chosen day comes, there's no messing about and the pro gangs are ready to swing straight into action.'

  ‘I suppose it’s like anything else and the more prep and homework you do, the better chance you have of pulling it off.’

  'Exactly, Annie. And it's quite something, if you ever get a chance to watch video footage of the best shoplifting teams in action. It's almost like a well-choreographed dance routine, with up to five or six people involved. Everyone knows exactly what to do and they've rehearsed their moves until they've got it all off pat. When they first go into a store, there's often a bit of misdirection involved, to try and distract store security from the main event.'

  'What do you mean, misdirection?'


  'Okay then, let's say they're targeting a swanky upmarket store, just like the one you’re trying to help in Buchanan Street. A couple of the gang members go inside, dressed like complete scruff, carrying cans of beer and start messing about. They maybe shout and swear at each other, or abuse the staff, so they stand out like a sore thumb. The cameras and the store security team on the floor will immediately focus on them and try to shove them straight back out the front door as quickly as possible. Meanwhile a respectable looking, well-dressed member of the gang, the actual shoplifter, is casually wandering towards the high value goods they came for. These people are the stars of the gang and they frequently change their appearance and use disguises to avoid detection, but they always look the part so they can blend in. They often have carrier bags from other high end shops and, to the casual observer, they look comfortable and completely at home. Then in the blink of an eye, when he or she has done the business, you might think they would quickly head straight for the exit. But usually the lifter will leave the goods at a pre-arranged blind spot somewhere inside the store. Then, when the coast is clear, another gang member will remove, or neutralise, the security tags before physically carrying the stolen goods out of the shop.'

  Scratching her head, Annie said, 'so, if I’m sitting up there in the security office, watching all these different picture feeds, coming in real time from multiple cameras on different floors, I suppose the trick is knowing what to actually concentrate on, because it’s physically impossible to keep an eye on everything.'

  'Spot on, Annie, you've sussed it in one. It's actually more of an art than a science and the best people doing that job sometimes just follow their instincts and ignore the obvious. If there's some minor disturbance, like the aforementioned scruff kicking off on the ground floor, there's a better than even chance that there's something much more interesting happening in another part of the store.’

  'The best shoplifters never appear nervous and they'll happily chat away to sales staff and completely ignore the security cameras, just like any innocent customer. Of course, the pros know exactly where the cameras are located and will also have memorised where the best blind spots are in the store. And you have to remember that these blind spots aren't necessarily in the most obvious places. It might be an area where the cameras can still see a person's head and shoulders, but the serious action is actually taking place below that level, out of sight.'

  Annie sighed in frustration, 'so that makes it even more difficult to spot them. Apart from the time I've spent on the sales floor, I've also wasted God knows how many hours, sitting here in the office reviewing video footage of days when the most recent thefts occurred. And I’ve found absolutely nothing, zilch. So how on earth will we ever catch them? Nothing's been said so far, but I'm pretty sure the store is starting to wonder if the money we're charging is worth it.'

  'Don't worry, kiddo, sometimes on this type of job you just have to keep plugging away, until you get a lucky break. What’s certain is that something is happening inside that store in plain sight and everybody has missed it so far. I’ll keep working on the video footage, because sometimes all it takes is a fresh eye, you know.'

  'Absolutely, that would be great.'

  'By the way, just so that I can keep the guys at the Royal Bar fully up to speed on what to get their wives for Christmas, what's the latest hot handbag?'

  ‘You’re asking the wrong person. I've been using the same scruffy courier bag since my first year at college, but as far as I know there are several really big sellers at the moment. Although the manager did mention that the store is preparing for a major promotion in two days' time, to tie in with a magazine and internet advertising campaign. It’s for an expensive new range of bags by a hip Italian designer, called Max Bellendi.'

  Jack laughed out loud. Puzzled, Annie asked, 'what's funny?'

  'Sorry, it's the name … you know, Max Bellendi. He sounds like a Latin porn star. It just appeals to my smutty schoolboy sense of humour. Please go on.'

  Ignoring her partner, Annie continued, 'so the launch will certainly attract the attention of the local fashionistas, the women with more money than sense, and maybe the shoplifters as well. If I was guessing, I'd say there's a good chance they'll put in an appearance, because the latest, hottest bags will always be easiest ones to sell on for the biggest prices.'

  'That does make sense, so how about if we both spend the entire day in the store on the day of the launch and maybe the following day as well. If nothing happens by then, I think it's probably only fair to ask the store if they want us to continue with the job, or we can just wrap things up and tiptoe away. Sometimes jobs are like that, Annie. You do your best, of course, but if it doesn't pan out for one reason or another, you just get out of Dodge and go straight on to the next one. As long as we get paid, that's all that matters.'

  'Thanks for the briefing, boss,’ said Annie. ‘I feel much better about things now you've explained how shoplifting gangs actually operate. I didn't realise that so much preparation and thought went into it.'

  'You better believe it. And that applies on both sides of the fence. It's a real battle of wits, because the shoplifters keep coming up with new tricks and scams to exploit any weakness in store security. It's almost like a war, or a duel.'

  'In this case, I suppose you could say it's like handbags at ten paces.'

  'Yes, very good, Annie. Best not to give up the day job just yet.'

  Chapter 23

  On the first day of the in-store promotional event, for the latest collection of designer handbags by Max Bellendi, Annie left her car in the large multi-storey car park adjacent to the John Lewis store. Then she walked with Jack downhill, past the Royal Concert Hall and the statue of the late Donald Dewar, complete with obligatory traffic cone on his head, towards the Buchanan Street shopping precinct.

  Halfway down Buchanan Street Annie paused and said, ‘where we’re standing right now is actually the centre of Glasgow’s style mile. You know, the shopping area for all the latest must-have fashions.’

  ‘Style mile … really? That’s strange, I’ve stayed in Glasgow all my life and I’ve never heard of it.’

  ‘For someone who’s usually sharp and totally on-message about the latest gear, you do surprise me,’ said Annie, stifling a snigger. ‘Anyway, the style mile runs from Sauchiehall Street, down Buchanan Street to where we are now, and then turns left along Argyle Street. They say, if you can’t find what you want here, boss, it doesn’t exist.’

  ‘Well I can tell you right now, they definitely don’t have what I want,’ said Jack sourly.

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘At my age, it’s quite a long depressing list, Annie. Starting with a cure for sore feet at one end of my body and progressing to a remedy for thinning hair at the other end, with all points in between affected to a greater or lesser degree by decrepitude. But let’s not bother with that now. Tell me more about this store we’re going to.’

  'The store manager was telling me yesterday that the cost of retail space per square foot in this street is second only to London.'

  'I can believe that, Annie. Because Glaswegians have always loved having all the latest fashionable gear and the flashier the better. The problem is that some of them don't like paying for the stuff.'

  As they paused on the opposite side of the pedestrian precinct, observing the impressive glass and chrome façade of the store, Jack said, 'it's not what you'd call understated, is it? Okay, I fully appreciate that I'm not part of their target demographic group. But to me the overall look screams out that only people with loads of money and not much taste are welcome in there.'

  'That does just about cover it, yes. And although I worked in the store for four months, I've only ever been in once as a customer. This place is way above my pay grade and they don't sell Doc Martens. So that’s a deal breaker for me, right there.'

  'Okay, tell me all about their security set-up.'

  'The store claims it has a pretty sophistic
ated security system, with a wireless network of CCTV cameras covering every floor. There are five floors in the building and at least twenty cameras on each floor, so you would need an army of people in the security office to be able to watch all of the screens all of the time. Actually there are normally only two security staff monitoring the live feeds from the various cameras at any one time. They’re in constant touch with a small team of plain clothes store detectives, operating inside the building, and also two uniformed staff covering the front door. The manager told me their new CCTV system has facial recognition capability, which can automatically cross-reference images with a database of convicted shoplifters and their known associates. I don't know exactly how it all works but, apparently, it can also detect any suspicious behaviour and automatically alert security if it's spotted a potential shoplifter.’

  'That sounds damn clever,' said Jack. 'If it works. But I mean, how do you define suspicious behaviour? A woman could be just rummaging around in her shopping bag, looking for her purse, or maybe she's actually using a pair of pliers to try and remove a security tag. I reckon it's hard for a piece of software to tell the difference. My guess is they get loads of false alarms.'

  'Anyway they've had this expensive new system up and running for over a year and the store security manager seems to think it's been a worthwhile upgrade. Their year on year losses from shoplifting were actually down twenty per cent, until this big spike of thefts came along in the last three months, when they've started losing expensive handbags and watches on a regular basis.'

  'Look I'm not knocking all of this new technology, Annie. Even if it only works some of the time, it's obviously a useful tool to have. I'm just saying that human nature always comes into it and, as time goes on, the tendency will be for the security guys to relax and start over-relying on the new system, instead of concentrating the way they should be. I mean the fact that they've had to call us in confirms that. I'm assuming they've stepped up their security measures and endlessly reviewed the video tapes, but the truth is they still don't seem to have a clue how these thefts are being carried out. Okay, tell me about security at the entrance to the store.’