Breed of Envy (The Breed Chronicles, #02)

by Jordan, Lanie

  Mom…well, after she joined and got used to the place, she seemed okay here. She didn’t have as many issues with it as I do. Her friends were her friends. She had a few people who she didn’t like and who didn’t like her, but I don’t think she had it as bad as I’m having it.

  Don’t know. Maybe she had more problems later on. She told me not to run from my problems, because it only delayed them and it never made them go away. I guess that’s true. Maybe.

  It’s not like I can really run away. I mean, if I did, where would I run to? Because right now, the answer is nowhere.

  I closed the journal with a sigh and put it back in its hole in the closet. It was time to find Linc and tell him what was going on. Hopefully, Tasha wouldn’t be around, otherwise I’d probably end up with another punch to the jaw. Linc wouldn’t hit me for being stupid, but I wouldn’t put it past Tasha. She’d have a fit when she learned about Shelly and that I hadn’t turned her over to Greene or kicked her butt.

  Considering I was still wondering why I hadn’t done either, I couldn’t blame her if she was pissed.

  I’ll find out soon enough, I thought, grabbing my ID and heading out to search for Linc and to, hopefully, avoid Tasha. (I’d been hit once today already, I didn’t want hit again so soon.)

  I went and knocked on Linc’s door but no one answered. Briefly, I considered just going back to my room, but I wasn’t a coward, damnit. I wasn’t going to hide in my room unless I wanted to. Or unless I had to, since I kinda really did want to.

  Instead of taking the elevators, I took the stairs down to the first level. I took them slowly, pausing before each landing to listen for any sounds of people coming up. And when I reached the bottom, I stuck my head out just far enough to look around. I spotted Eric the first time, walking toward the café court, and moved back quickly.

  What the heck are you doing? I chastised myself. I was being a coward, that’s what.

  Straightening my back, I took a deep breath and left the stairwell. As expected, most of the Prospects who saw me did their thing and glared or muttered angry curses at me. It stung, and I had to force myself not to make fists, but I kept my head up high. Shelly was standing with a group of P1s. She spotted me and shot me a nervous look. One of her friends saw me, too, and rolled her eyes in my direction. Shelley just shook her head and slapped her friend on the arm, then she started over to me. And here we go again.

  “You were right,” she said as soon as she reached me.

  “About?”

  “Rachel. She found me after I…” Her gaze went to her feet. “After.” She looked back up. I might’ve seen shame in her eyes, but I wasn’t sure. “She wasn’t happy. Apparently, she was expecting me to get my ass kicked and she’s angry that I didn’t. She knows I hit you. I told her.”

  I didn’t say anything for a minute, just raised an eyebrow curiously. “What do you want me to say?”

  “Nothing, I guess. I just figured you’d be happy to know my mission failed. You didn’t have to kick my ass. I have a feeling she’ll try it herself sooner or later.”

  “Are you looking for sympathy?”

  “I—maybe I was.” She laughed, then sighed. “Stupid, huh? I attacked you and when it didn’t go as planned, now I want you to feel sorry for me or something. Maybe you should tell the director. Maybe I’m not cut out to be here.”

  “I said I wouldn’t tell him and I won’t. But I’m not going to feel that sorry for you, either. You made your decisions. You knew they were stupid.”

  “Can I at least get some advice?”

  “On what? What to do with Rachel?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I’m not asking for your help with her. I just…I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, and I’m not saying that to be mean.” I didn’t like admitting that, but it was the truth. “I really don’t have the answers. Just decide what you want to do here, who you want to be here, and go for that. If you want to be like Rachel, then I’m sure you’ll find a way to do that. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

  Shelly grimaced. “I don’t want to be like her.”

  “Why not? You did, not even an hour ago. She’s got influence here.” I shrugged. “If you’re scared of the other Prospects, then you need to pick her side.”

  “That’s your advice?” Her tone pitched a note higher. “Really?”

  “What do you want me to say, Shelly? You’ve made it pretty clear already what kind of Prospect you want to be. I’m just telling you to go with what you want. I’m not going to tell you to be like me. I’m not exactly the perfect example, either.”

  She looked sad now, like she’d expected me to have the answers for her. I wish I did, but I honestly didn’t. I wasn’t sure how to handle Rachel myself, so how could I give Shelly advice? I mean, here I was, at the end of my second Phase, and pretty much everyone but Linc and Tasha hated me, or at least disliked me, though I couldn’t tell if there really was a difference.

  “I really don’t know why you’d think I have the answers. I mean, look at me,” I said with a laugh. “I’ve got more than half of the Prospects hating me, and I’m pretty sure I’m being generous with that.” I glanced over my shoulder, into the café court, and saw Linc and Tasha watching me. I pointed to them. “My only two true friends are over there. The teachers like me well enough, but that’s because I like my classes, and having teachers on your side isn’t exactly the best thing for you here, apparently. So I’m really not the person to ask for advice.”

  Shelly sighed. “You’re nicer than Rachel. That’s something.”

  I shrugged again. “Then aim for that. For being nicer than Rachel. If nothing else, it might keep you from getting yourself expelled.”

  She laughed. “Maybe I should just try for that then. To not get myself kicked out.”

  “You’ve been here, what? Almost a year now? You’ve managed to survive this long, so obviously you’re doing something right, or at least not wrong.”

  “Until today.”

  “Until today,” I agreed. “I don’t have the answers for you. But one thing I can tell you, talking to me right now probably isn’t going to do you any favors. Like I said, everyone pretty much hates me, so…”

  “I don’t care,” she said, straightening her shoulders and standing taller. “You didn’t try to get me kicked out or beat me up, and you could’ve done both easily. If they don’t like me because I don’t hate you, then what do I care?”

  “I’m not going to be the cause for more trouble for you. I meant what I said. Talking to me isn’t a good idea. You should just yell at me or something. At least then you and everyone else will share an enemy. The enemy of your enemy is your friend…or something. It’ll be a lot easier for you if you have at least something in common with them.”

  This time, her sigh was deep. Her eyes were locked on mine, like she was considering my words. “I tried that once. It didn’t really work for me.” She shrugged. “Maybe you’re not the best example, but you’re better than Rachel, so I’ll take it.”

  “What?”

  She shrugged again. “Well, I’m not looking up to Rachel. She’ll just get me kicked out. At least you’re decent. I figure I could do worse for a role model,” she said, smiling at me. Then she turned and walked away before I could respond.

  “Ah, hell,” I muttered.

  What the hell had just happened? I told her not to look up to me.

  Shaking my head, I went to meet up with Linc and Tasha. I shook my head the entire time, until I sat down with them.

  Linc raised an eyebrow. “Did we miss something?”

  “Apparently. She punched me earlier, to get on Rachel’s good side, then decided I was a better role model than Rachel since I didn’t beat her up or get her suspended.” I pointed a finger at Tasha. “You’re the one who started that role model business last Phase. I thought we decided you’d be the better one?”

  She scoffed at me. “Well, that was then and this is now. Yo
u’re definitely better suited for the job. I would’ve decked her skinny ass if she’d hit me.”

  “Hell,” I said again, lowering my head to the table. After a second, I rolled my head to the side and found Linc staring down at me. “Got something to add, Flyboy?”

  His head shook. “Nope.”

  “That’s your I’ve-got-something-to-say look,” I said.

  “Nah, I’m just thinking. This has been a…stressful year.”

  Tasha nodded vehemently. “It sure as hell has been. Glad it’s almost over. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.”

  “A year?” My eyes went wide. “Holy cow. I’ve been here a year.”

  “And three months,” Tasha added.

  “Well, huh.” Somehow, I hadn’t realized that it had been over a year since I’d joined. The year had crawled by in some parts, but then it seemed like I blinked and months had gone by. The Pond was, thankfully, nothing more than a distant memory.

  Tasha batted her eyelashes at me. “Our little girl is a year old,” she said dramatically, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. “My, how the time flies.”

  I slapped her hands away when she made a grab for my face and laughed. “You guys realize that after next Phase, you’ll be in line for the treatments, if you want them.”

  “Don’t remind me,” Tasha said.

  “You don’t want them?”

  She shrugged. “Haven’t really decided yet. I mean, the director hasn’t exactly been that forthcoming about them or what they involve. Science and genes and all that stuff? So not my strong suit.”

  “Shelly—the girl who hit me—asked me about them. If they hurt.”

  Tasha’s eyebrow shot up. “Before or after she punched you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Before. But the point is, I didn’t have the answer.”

  “That’s what I mean!” She jabbed a finger at me. “What if they’re seriously painful? What if they have to knock us out, cut us open, and mess with—”

  “Our innards?” I supplied.

  “Exactly!” She jabbed her finger again. “I love this place and all, but no one is cutting me open unless I’m dead or dying. No, wait.” She shook her head. “Not even then. Especially not then.”

  I tried—and failed—to fight a chuckle.

  Linc looked at us both. One of his eyebrows arched. “Actually, from what I’ve heard, I don’t think they’re that painful. Not exactly pleasant, but I think it’s fair to say we’ve all had worse.”

  “How do you know?” Tasha asked Linc.

  He shrugged. “I’ve talked to some of the agents about it. They won’t talk about them much, but they told me it wasn’t too horrible of an experience.”

  Like Tasha, my science knowledge was limited. Doc tried explaining things sometimes, but my brain could only handle so much blood and science talk before it threatened to explode. Especially now that my DNA was some hot commodity and she felt compelled to try to explain things I didn’t need to know. I mean, I had funky DNA that caused this or made me that. What else did I need to know? As long as I was healthy, I was happy.

  Someone walked by the table and muttered ‘demon’ under their breath. I sighed. Okay, so I’ll settle for just being healthy and marginally happy.

  “Keep walking, kid,” Tasha snapped. “Just keep walking. You don’t want on my bad side.”

  “You have a good one?” I asked sweetly.

  Tasha laughed and smiled. Immediately, I felt better. “I don’t suppose you’d know a thing about it,” she said, “seeing as you’ve never been on it.”

  “Man, I love you guys,” I said with feeling. I really, truly did. I got up from the chair, gave Tasha a big hug, and then I went to Linc and did the same thing. But I added a quick kiss on his cheek. When I retook my seat, they were both giving me weird looks. “What?”

  “Are you having a moment?” Linc asked.

  Tasha nodded, like she was agreeing with Linc’s question. “You’re not really a hugger.”

  “Well, whatever. I wanted ’em, so I took ‘em. Deal with it.” I let out a breath and gave a quick nod. “Moment is over.”

  “Hold on a second.” Tasha crossed her arms over her chest. “Why’d he get a hug? I’m the one who defended your demony honor. He didn’t do anything but sit there and look Linc-like. Plus, he got a kiss.” She shook her head sadly. “I see how it is.”

  Linc put his hands behind his head, relaxed back into his chair. “It’s part of my charm.”

  Tasha scoffed at him and started rattling off again. I just sat back and smiled at them, half-listening as they bickered back and forth. Maybe I didn’t have a lot of friends right now, but as long as I had Linc and Tasha, things would be okay. They’d make sure of it.

  *~*~*

  My good mood only lasted a few more hours, until Director Greene sent someone to find me.

  When I went to his office as directed, he gave me a dark look that had my insides running cold. He didn’t usually give me that look unless I’d done something really stupid (say, let a demon escape), and as far as I knew, I hadn’t. So for once, I was completely baffled. I mean, he knew about me hitting Rachel already, so unless he changed his mind about the suspension/expulsion thing…

  I tried not to frown as I sat down in front of him. “You wanted to see me?”

  “Yes. Did you have something you wanted to tell me?”

  I scratched my head. “I don’t think so?”

  “Your…conversation with Miss. Young.”

  “Oh! That.”

  “Yes. That.” He leaned back in his chair, kept that hard gaze fixed on mine. “Did we not have this discussion earlier today, Miss Hall?”

  “You told me not to punch anyone and I didn’t! If she said I did—”

  “No, Miss Hall. But she punched you. I told you that behavior wasn’t going to be tolerated.”

  Crap. It’d been really naive—and downright stupid—to think/hope he wouldn’t find out about that. “I did the same thing,” I answered. “If you kick her out for it, then you might as well boot me out, too, because I won’t last another Phase with everyone thinking I’m getting people kicked out. Even if they ignored it, I can’t stay here with that kind of guilt on my head.”

  “The guilt would lie with them, Miss Hall, and not with you. You are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own.”

  “Maybe it should be that way, but I’d feel the guilt.” I sighed. “And if you kick her out for doing something I did, what’s that going to tell the other Prospects? What’s that going to tell Eric? That I do get special treatment. I don’t want it. I just want to be here and do what I came here to do.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “That’s your reasoning? That it will prove Mr. Reynolds’s point?”

  “Yes. No. Not exactly.” I sighed again. “Look, you asked me to set an example, so I tried doing that. The girl—Shelly—did something really stupid for an even stupider reason. But she did it to me, so I should be the upset party here.”

  “How exactly is letting someone punch you in the face setting an example?”

  “Because she did it to fit in, I think, or because she was scared she wouldn’t if she didn’t. It was a stupid reason, and I’m the first to admit it. But…I understand it.”

  “I’m still failing to see how that was supposed to set an example.”

  I let out a deep breath. “Because I think she was set up. And please don’t ask me to tell you who. I will, but I don’t want to.”

  He gave a brief nod. “For now, I’ll say the name isn’t an issue. But what exactly is your theory?”

  “That she was set up to either get suspended for hitting me, or to get her butt kicked for hitting me.”

  “By you, presumably?”

  “Yeah. In which case, I probably would’ve been suspended, too. So it was really a double set-up.” When he didn’t say anything, I kept talking. “I wanted to hit her back. I really did. She…manipulated me, or maybe I was just stupid and believed her becaus
e I wanted to,” I added, more to myself. “The point is, I didn’t hit her. I told her I would tell you and that scared her enough that I think she learned her lesson.”

  He still didn’t say anything, only continued to stare at me.

  “Look, you told me to do this. You told me to set an example. I assumed you wanted me to set a good one. How can I do that if, when people do something stupid, I just turn them over to you? How can I set any kind of example if I have to have you or someone else solve my problems? I can take a punch to the jaw. I had one coming.”

  The side of his lip twitched. “Your logic is…very convoluted and very confusing, Miss Hall.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Let’s assume, for the time being, that I take no action against Miss Young. What happens if, as you said, she is set up again? If she attacks you again?”

  “Then I’ll personally drag her butt in here.”

  He chuckled. “I believe you would.”

  “I would, and I told her that.” Or something similar. I didn’t need to mention the fact that I’d threatened to drag her in unconscious, did I? “I’m different. You say it, Doc says it, everyone says it. I can’t hide that anymore. I don’t like it, but it is what it is. And everyone has a point. Some of them have a good reason to dislike me, maybe. I am part demon,” I said carefully, trying not to cringe as I said the words, “and everyone here has issues with demons. Added to that, they all know about the baby demon, which probably just added fuel to a fire that was ready to burn anyway.”

  “Yes, that situation was rather…unusual.”

  “You can say that again.” I sighed again. “I keep saying I don’t want special treatment, and I really don’t, but if you meant what you said earlier and want me to give them someone to look up to, then I need help. They’re never going to trust or like me if I complain every time someone does something stupid.”