Once a Cop

by Lisa Childs

  Holden appeared equally reluctant, his gaze intent on her face, his eyes turbulent with mixed emotions. “Why are you here?” he asked. “I thought you’d be resting this morning.”

  She touched her fingertips to the pink scarf she’d wrapped around her neck. Thankfully, scarves had become a fashion statement lately. “I’m fine.”

  “Did Kayla notice?” he asked with concern.

  She shook her head, her lips curving in a small smile. “She was happy I’m wearing this. She gave it to me for Valentine’s Day this year.”

  “She has good taste,” he said. “It’s pretty.” But his gaze was focused on her face, as if the appreciative gleam in his eyes was for her.

  She ignored the flip of her stomach. She couldn’t let herself be drawn back into this futile attraction, not when she knew he would never be able to accept her. “I have to go.” She glanced toward the hall leading to the chief’s office. “I don’t want to be late.”

  He nodded and stepped inside the waiting elevator. “I understand. Goodbye, Roberta.”

  She waited until the doors closed, hiding him from her sight before she managed to respond. “Goodbye.”

  “Hey, Rob,” a deep voice called out. “You’re here.”

  She turned and saw the watch commander leaning against the wall outside the chief’s office. Paddy O’Donnell’s perceptiveness was legendary in Lakewood; the man missed nothing. What had he seen of her exchange with Holden Thomas?

  She squared her shoulders, refusing to let thoughts of the man distract her any longer. She closed the short distance between the elevator and the chief’s office. “Yes, I’m here.”

  “We thought maybe you changed your mind about coming in so early.”

  Changed her mind? “I didn’t realize I had a choice.”

  “The intern didn’t let you pick the time that was most convenient for you?”

  Maybe he had. Robbie had only heard his first words, “The chief wants to see you.” She shrugged. “This is fine. I was up anyway to get Kayla off to school.”

  “Come in,” he invited, stepping back so she could pass through the doorway.

  The chief sat behind his desk. Kent Terlecki stood next to him, in front of the windows that overlooked the city, with the lake in the distance. They both turned at her entrance. The chief scanned her face and eyed the scarf that covered her neck.

  O’Donnell offered an explanation for her delayed arrival. “She ran into the reverend by the elevator.”

  Chief Archer planted his palms on his desk, rose from his chair and uttered a profound sigh of relief. “Thank God you’re all right, Roberta.”

  She suppressed her own sigh of relief. He wouldn’t be so happy to see her if he was going to fire her. Right?

  But before she could completely relax, he pointed a finger and admonished her, “You’re damn lucky you’re alive after that crazy stunt you pulled.”

  The chief was a big man, closer to seven feet tall than six, with a bellow that could rattle windows. Roberta locked her knees so that she wouldn’t cower or grovel for forgiveness. She just nodded. “You’re right.”

  “It’s my fault,” Kent said as he pulled out a chair for Robbie. “I shouldn’t have left her there.”

  “You had to,” she reminded him. “I didn’t have to run after that kid on my own.”

  “Yes, you did.” The chief chuckled and settled back into his chair. “I’ve known you a long time, Roberta Meyers. You did. You couldn’t let him go. It’s not in you to let an assailant get away.”

  She dropped into the chair. “I wish I had that kind of control,” she admitted, “but we all know that more of them get away than we’d like.”

  “If one gets away, it’s too many,” the chief said.

  The other two men nodded in agreement. Archer addressed them. “Hey, guys, I’d like to talk to Officer Meyers alone.”

  “Sure,” Kent said, and he paused beside Robbie’s chair and squeezed her shoulder. “I really am sorry.”

  She patted his hand. “You have nothing to be sorry about. But thanks.”

  “Rob,” Paddy said, “I won’t be seeing you at roll call, so take care of yourself.”

  Before she could ask the watch commander what he meant—and why the heck she wouldn’t be at roll call—he and Kent headed out the door. She waited, but the chief said nothing. He just leaned back in his chair and studied her, his brow furrowed.

  After a few long moments Robbie reminded him, “You wanted to talk to me, which usually implies that you’re going to say something.”

  He chuckled at her sassiness. “I was just thinking…”

  “About what?”

  “About the first time I saw you.”

  Heat rushed to her face. “I wish you would forget about that.”

  The chief grinned, the skin around his pale blue eyes crinkling at the corners. Salt wound through the black pepper of his thick, short hair, but he wasn’t all that old—just old enough to be her father. If only he had been.

  “I can’t,” he said, shaking his head. “That image haunts me—how I found you and Joelly Standish in that dark alley…” He shuddered. “That’s what I thought of when I heard what happened yesterday, because then, too, you could have been killed.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not,” he said, his voice edging closer to the bellow he sometimes used for effect. “You can sell this tough act to everyone else, but not me. I’ve known you too long, girl.”

  Her lips twitched in a smile. “You knew me at my worst.”

  “Desperate and scared to death,” he remembered. “I still glimpse that girl sometimes, when you drop the wall you’ve built around yourself.”

  Tears stung Robbie’s eyes, but she blinked them back. “You have known me too long.” She forced a smile. “And too well…”

  “That’s how I know you’re not fine,” he said, pointing his finger at her again. “And that’s why you’re going to take a few days off.”

  “You’re suspending me?” It was better than straight out being fired, but not much. “Am I in trouble for using excessive force?”

  The chief snorted. “You should have shot the little bastard. It would have been justified.” His voice trembled as he added, “He could have killed you.”

  “I’m—”

  “Don’t!” he warned, shaking his finger at her. “Don’t lie to me, Roberta. Not again.”

  Heat, hotter this time, rushed to her face. “You knew…”

  “That you were the one trying to sell the drugs?” He nodded. “Yeah, I knew.”

  “But I let Joelly take the blame.” And even though nearly ten years had passed, it still nagged at Roberta that she’d been such a coward. But Joelly had convinced her that the authorities would take away her baby the minute it was born if she had a record.

  “She insisted,” Chief Archer reminded her. “And we both know there’s no talking that little girl out of whatever she sets her mind to.”

  Robbie laughed. “Ain’t that the truth. You think her father will ever figure that out?”

  Frank Archer shook his head. “Joel Standish? He’d have to think about someone other than himself for once.”

  “He’s not that bad,” Robbie said in his defense. “He took me in when my own parents wouldn’t let me come home.” The chief had called them; she suspected he’d even made a personal visit to argue on her behalf. But because it had been too late for her to get an abortion, they hadn’t wanted her back. She shrugged off the pain—she’d made peace with the fact that she had no relationship with her parents.

  And she refused to think about the other relationship she was being denied, the one with the man who didn’t want her as she was. Instead, she forced her mind back to the mayor and laughed. “Of course, Joelly didn’t give him much choice. She swore she’d run away again if he didn’t let me come live with them.”

  Regret filled the chief’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry because no one
wanted me?” She shrugged. “I’m used to it.” But she couldn’t deny that it still hurt like hell.

  “No. Sorry because I didn’t bring you to live with me and my wife,” Frank Archer said. “I wanted to.”

  “That’s sweet,” she said, “but you don’t have to say that. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”

  “I’m not. I regret, every day, that we didn’t foster you. But my wife had gotten sick…” He flinched as if the pain of her loss was physical. “She still wanted us to become foster parents, but we wouldn’t have gotten approved—not with her cancer.” He sighed. “She beat it, though. That time…”

  Seeing how much pain he was still in over the loss of his wife made Robbie think it was better, safer, never to fall in love.

  “Go home,” the chief told her.

  She suspected that at the moment he just wanted to be alone. “I can’t miss any of my shifts,” she said. “We’re already short-staffed.”

  “Is that why you agreed to work the vice unit?”

  She nodded. “And because I’m best suited to it.”

  “You’re a very effective decoy,” he responded. “Reverend Thomas would even swear to that.”

  “You need me out there,” she said.

  “I need you one hundred percent.” He gestured toward her throat. “While the scarf’s pretty, it can’t hide the fact that you’re hurt. You need to take it easy. No argument.”

  “It’s just that I feel guilty taking time off when everyone else is working doubles.”

  His jaw clenched in frustration. “I have to talk some sense into the city council. I need more officers.”

  “Joelly and I are going to work on her dad at his ball.”

  “If anyone can get through to him, it’s his daughter.” He stood up and came around his desk. “So what’s it going to take to get through to you?”

  She sighed and rose to her feet. “I’ll follow your orders.” She smiled. “I was a wreck about coming down here. I was worried you were going to fire me.”

  He shook his head. “You know I need you too much.” He held up a hand to prevent another argument about taking time off. “But I can spare you for a few days, and I’ll be surprised if you manage to stay away that long. This job means too much to you. I could never take it away from you.”

  While she knew it wasn’t very professional, she couldn’t hold back and she threw her arms around the chief. At least someone accepted her for who she was.

  HOLDEN CLOSED his eyes, forcing Robbie’s face from his mind. He had to forget about her. He opened them again and focused on Meredith, sitting across the booth from him at a diner around the corner from her office. “Sorry about yesterday,” he said, “about bailing on our picnic.”

  “I understand,” she said with an easy smile. “You had visitors from the police department. It’s important to have them involved in the shelter.” She reached across the table and patted his hand.

  “You heard about what happened?”

  She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  He fisted his hand. “But he was dealing drugs in my shelter. He never should have been there.” He closed his eyes again, and behind his lids flashed the image of those hands around Robbie’s throat.

  “I’ve been conned a time or ten. You can’t let it get to you. You can’t let it change you.” Meredith squeezed, then released his fingers. “You’re doing so much good.”

  “I need to do better.” He sighed. “At a lot of things. Not only did I bail on our lunch, but I promised I’d call you for dinner. And I never called.”

  “You were busy,” she excused Holden. “And I’m sure you were concerned about Robbie. How is she?”

  “Fine, or so she insists.”

  Meredith laughed. “That’s Robbie for you. You’d never guess from her small size how tough she is.”

  He touched his fingers to his cheek, where the bruise had faded. “She’s tough. But one day she’ll take on more than she can handle.”

  “Don’t worry about Robbie,” Meredith said softly. “She can take care of herself. She’s been doing it for a long time.”

  “You really know her,” he realized with surprise. Meredith was probably only five or six years older than Robbie, and she couldn’t have been her social worker back when Robbie had been living on the streets. He wished she had been, because there was still so much he didn’t know about Robbie’s past, including how she’d gotten off the streets when his sister had never managed to for long. “How do you know her? Just through the police department?”

  “Robbie is a social worker’s best friend. She goes the extra mile with runaways to make sure we’re not returning them to an abusive home.” Her brown eyes glowed with admiration. “She has some kind of sixth sense about them. She can figure out which ones have run away just over something stupid, like a strict curfew or a forbidden boyfriend, and which ones had no choice.” She tapped her fingers on the table. “You really need her at the shelter.”

  “She’s too busy…with her job and Kayla.”

  Meredith laughed. “She reminds me of you.”

  And maybe that was the problem. He and Robbie were too much alike. Holly needed someone who would have more time for her.

  “I don’t want to talk about Robbie,” he said. He didn’t even want to think about her. “I want to talk about us.”

  “Holden—”

  “I got an invitation to a ball at the mayor’s mansion,” he said, shaking his head, still surprised his name had been included on the guest list. “I’d like you to go with me.”

  She narrowed her eyes and studied him. “Are you sure I’m the woman you want to invite?”

  “Wh-what do you mean?”

  “I saw the way you and Robbie looked at each other yesterday. Something’s going on between you two.”

  His friend was pretty and smart. If only he was attracted to her the way he was to Roberta Meyers.

  He shook his head. “We would never work.” Robbie probably thought he was crazy, asking her to quit her job when they hardly knew each other. And because they hardly knew each other, she would be easy to forget. He would forget all about her.

  “And you suddenly think, after all these years we’ve known each other, that we will?” Meredith asked with a smile that gently mocked him.

  “You think I’m nuts.”

  “I think you’re scared.” She sighed. “And after my disastrous marriage and divorce, I certainly don’t blame you.”

  She understood him—maybe better than he understood himself. She was the right woman for him. She had to be.

  “I want you to think about this for a bit,” she encouraged him, “make sure I’m the woman you want to take.” Maybe she understood him too well.

  KAYLA’S HEAD bobbed back and forth. “Hey,” she murmured in sleepy protest.

  Holly nudged her shoulder again. “Wake up. Mrs. Groom is going to yell at you,” she warned.

  Kayla rubbed a hand over her eyes, wiping the sleep from them. Then she looked at their teacher, with her hair as black and frizzy as a witch’s wig. She was standing at the chalkboard in front of the room and she wasn’t looking at them. Yet. To keep it that way, Kayla whispered back, “I was up late last night.”

  “Why? Did you have a bad dream?” Holly’s voice quavered as she asked the question—she must have had some really bad dreams of her own. Losing her mother had to have been the worst nightmare ever, but it had been real, not a dream.

  Kayla gave Holly a nudge now. “No bad dream,” she told her friend. “I was over at Aunt JoJo’s apartment and when I came home to sleep in my own bed I found your uncle with my mom.”

  “So Uncle Holden was with your mom last night. Yes!” Holly squealed, which earned a glare from Mrs. Groom.

  Kayla had hoped they were together, but she’d still been surprised when she’d opened the door and found her mom and Mr. Thomas in each other’s arms. “Yup, they were together.”

  “On a date?” Holly asked.

 
; “I don’t know. But I walked in on them kissing.”

  Holly clapped her hands. This time Mrs. Groom yelled her usual warning: “Don’t make me separate you two again!”

  Kayla had never gotten yelled at before Holly had started coming to her school. She smiled, secretly happy that she wasn’t the class mouse anymore. But because she didn’t want Mrs. Groom to have a stroke yelling at them again, she waited until the old lady got busy with some other kids before she turned back to her friend.

  “They kissed,” Holly said, her eyes widening. “And you thought it was going to be hard to get them together.”

  “It will be hard,” Kayla warned the other girl. “I pretended to be asleep, but I listened at my door. They were talking quiet, though, so I didn’t hear everything. But they did say something about it never working and that they needed to stay away from each other.”

  “They’re not going to be able to stay away from each other,” Holly insisted. “They’re going to see each other because Uncle Holden is in the Police Academy.”

  “Citizens’ Police Academy,” Kayla automatically corrected her friend. “My mom doesn’t have to teach anything for a couple more weeks, though.”

  “Well, we can’t let them go two weeks before they see each other again,” Holly said, shaking her head. “I think it’s time for another sleepover. This time, my house. And you will have a bad dream.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’ll think of some way to get your mom back over and get them to kiss again.” Holly trembled with excitement. “And then they’ll fall in love and get married.”

  Kayla smiled at her friend’s optimism. Holly hadn’t overheard the conversation she had, though. Her mom and Mr. Thomas seemed pretty determined to stay away from each other. But then she remembered the way they’d been kissing when she walked in—as if they were in some movie about people falling in love—and hope fluttered to life.