Autumn's Wish

by Bella Thorne

  I turn back to Mom. “I know I didn’t see you guys together for long, but I feel like he makes you happy. And I want you to be happy. Dad would too.”

  I don’t mean to get teary. I really want her to go on this date and not feel sad. But I am, and she is, too, and I’m kind of worried the date won’t actually happen. Then she pulls me in for a hug. “Thank you, Autumn,” she says. “I love you so much.”

  “Hey, how about me?” Erick calls from the couch. “I was cool with it right away.”

  “I love you, too, Erick,” Mom laughs. Then she turns to Glen, and the two of them smile at each other like embarrassed middle schoolers afraid to ask each other to dance. It’s sweet. Weird, but sweet.

  “I guess I should go get dressed,” Mom says.

  “Wouldn’t hear of it,” Glen says. “You look perfect the way you are.”

  Mom snorts, but Glen says he’s serious, and while they debate whether or not she’s fit for public consumption, I run up and grab the suitcase. As I thunk it downstairs, I tell Mom she should just go. Everything she needs is in the bag if she wants to change after the flight.

  “Flight?!” Mom echoes. “And a suitcase? Where exactly are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” I say. “You’ll be back tomorrow, and I’ll stay with Erick. Call and check as much as you want, but we’ll be fine. I promise.”

  Mom’s completely flustered and finds a gazillion reasons to object, but in the end she lets Glen escort her on his arm to the limousine. I watch through the window until the car is out of sight.

  “Sweet!” Erick says, leaping from the couch. “Party time!”

  I tell him we can’t have a party because I’m supposed to be responsible for him, but I do agree to drive him and a couple friends to the Aventura Mall and the movies. When we get home after, there’s a limo in front of the house.

  My heart sinks. Did Mom’s date fall apart? Is she back already?

  I run out of the car and up to the door…but someone’s sitting on the stoop. It’s a guy my age. He’s in jeans, a simple T-shirt, a baseball cap, and sunglasses, but none of that hides the fact that he’s insanely hot. He’s listening to his phone through earbuds. Behind the sunglasses I can see his eyes are closed, and he sings softly.

  “Kyler?” I say.

  “Kyler Leeds is on our stoop?” Erick gapes behind me. He pulls out his phone. “This will get me major girl cred.”

  I grab his phone before he can take a picture, then turn back to Kyler, who clearly has no idea we’re there. I lean closer and can totally hear the music. I laugh, then pull out one of his earbuds. “Are you seriously listening to your own songs?”

  “Course I am, it’s great music.”

  I scoff.

  Kyler shrugs. “Okay, if that’s how you feel. ’Cause I have my guitar in the car and I thought maybe I’d play something for you, but if you’re not into it—”

  “Omigod, seriously?!” I burst. “Of course I want you to play! Can I choose the song?”

  Kyler’s grinning at me and I grimace as I realize what he just did. “You suck,” I say.

  “That’s not what you really think,” he says.

  “So, Kyler,” Erick says, swaggering up to him. “I’ve got a pull-up bar in the house. Wanna see who can do the most reps? Maybe shoot a little video of me whupping your butt?”

  Kyler grins. “Why? You think girls’ll like it if you do?”

  “They will worship me,” Erick says.

  I’m about to tell Erick to shut up, but watching Kyler do pull-ups wouldn’t be so bad. Especially if he did them shirtless.

  “Sounds fun!” I say.

  “Sorry, we have other plans,” Kyler says. “I’m having a Christmas Eve Eve party at my beach house tonight, and I happen to know you’re both free. So hop in the limo and let’s go.”

  “To a rock star beach house party?” Erick asks. “Hell to the yes! Can I bring a friend?”

  “A girlfriend?” Kyler asks knowingly.

  “So she can drool all over you?” Erick asks. “No way! My friend Aaron.”

  “Sure,” Kyler says. “Call and tell him we’ll pick him up on the way.”

  “Sweet!” Erick runs to the limo and dives inside.

  “For real,” I check with Kyler. “A party at your house.”

  “Yeah,” he says, “How long you need to get ready?”

  I toss my hair over one shoulder. “You’re not going to be like Glen and say I’m gorgeous just the way I am?”

  Kyler lowers his head and looks at me over his sunglasses. I look down at my kickaround terry shorts and tank-with-bandeau.

  “I’ll need about an hour,” I say.

  “Got it.”

  Kyler heads for the limo while I unlock the front door. I wheel around before I go inside.

  “Oh! Can I invite Ames and Taylor?” I ask. “You’ve met them. They’re awesome. And they would die to go to a Kyler Leeds party.”

  “Sure,” Kyler says. “But if they stalk my house afterward, I’m moving.”

  “Noted.”

  I fly into the house, then call Taylor with my cell and Ames with the home line, then hold them both to my ear so I can tell them at the same time. We scream together for exactly three seconds, because we all have to jump immediately and get ready. I make a lightning-fast hour-long transformation in which I shower, blow-dry, flat-iron, product, makeup, and change into a simple but super-flattering red halter dress and heels. I fill Schmidt’s bowl with kibble and give him a goodbye pet before I fly out the door and join Erick and Kyler in the limo. They’re laughing and watching an action movie while they chow on sodas and popcorn, and they’re both highly amused by the acrobatics it takes me to climb into the limo while wearing a short, clingy dress.

  Once I’m in, we pick up our guests: first Aaron, then Taylor, then Amalita. I’m impressed with Tee and Ames. They keep the crazy freak-out to a minimum and really get along with Kyler. I’m sure it helps that they both look amazing, but they also have intelligent conversations with him that have nothing to do with how cute he is and how much they’d secretly like to marry him. Taylor talks to him about singing techniques and performing onstage, while Ames chats with him about the Miami Dolphins. I knew she watched a lot of football last year when she was dating our team’s star player, but apparently she got really into it and still keeps up.

  Kyler’s house is, of course, ridiculous. Hidden behind a gate so you’d never know it’s there, it is three stories right on the beach, lots of space, windows everywhere. The party is already raging when we get there. Dim lights, loud music, lots of people dancing. Aaron and Erick immediately run off, no doubt to hopelessly try picking up one of the supermodels in the room. Tee, Ames, and I are a little more intimidated, but Kyler drops us with Wade, who I recognize as a dancer from one of Kyler’s videos. Wade hugs us all right away, makes us completely comfortable, and takes us around to introduce us to everyone. We’re in the middle of a conversation when I notice someone on the dance floor.

  “Excuse me,” I say, and walk across the room to a tiny old woman in a chocolate-brown sweat suit. She stands directly in the glow of a red spotlight…and twerks.

  “Eddy?!” I cry.

  She spins around and gives me a huge hug. “Autumn! We were hoping you’d get here soon!”

  “We?”

  “You didn’t think Kyler would have a party without Zelda and me, did you? Now help me get her on the floor. She’s an old wet blanket.”

  Eddy gestures to Zelda. Kyler’s Mee-Maw is very close by, but I couldn’t see her before with all the spotlights. Now that I’m looking, I see she’s hunched deep in the pillows of a dark couch, her arms folded tightly over her chest.

  “Zelda!” Eddy yells. “Get up and dance with me!”

  “I will not,” Zelda says. “You look ridiculous. Autumn, tell your grandmother she looks ridiculous.”

  “You’re jealous,” Eddy says. “You wish you had moves like mine. I’m going to go out to the b
alcony and be with someone who appreciates me.” She links her arm through mine. “That’s you, carina.”

  She leads me outside and we find a free spot against the balcony rail. It might be Christmas Eve Eve, but it’s still seventy degrees and humid. A light breeze sweeps off the ocean and I turn so it can wash over my face.

  “Muy hermosa,” Eddy says, smiling. Then she moves closer and beckons so I’ll bend down to her. “And how are things with you and your mission?”

  “Pretty good, I think,” I say. “I did something today that I think will make a big difference.”

  Eddy widens her eyes, waiting for me to continue, but I feel weird about it. Eddy and my mom get along great, but still, Eddy’s my dad’s mother. She might not like the idea of his wife going out with someone new.

  “Querida.” Eddy pats my hand. “It’s okay. I know. Zelda told me what you did for your mother.”

  “And you don’t mind?” I ask.

  She makes a pfft sound and waves the idea away. “I love your mother. My Reinaldo, he loved her more. He’d want her to be happy.” She narrows her eyes, as if she can peer inside me. “But I think you already know that, no?”

  I nod. “I think this is what he wanted me to do.”

  “Then es bueno.” She smiles impishly and nods to the chain around my neck. “And how does it turn out?”

  I smile back. I look around to make sure no one’s paying attention, then pull out the locket and open it. I have only two more jumps, but I don’t hesitate. I set the locket for the exact same September date of my first jump, three years in the future. With a last smile to Eddy, I squeeze the locket shut, then concentrate as I close my eyes.

  Everything is similar but completely different.

  I’m at a wedding—that’s obvious from the giant tiered cake next to me with the bride and groom on top—but it’s no stuffy ballroom with a bad DJ. This ballroom is open on every side, seamlessly pouring out to a beautiful green lawn and beach dotted by twinkly lights and tiki torches. A seven-piece band plays onstage, and couples twirl in beautiful gowns and tuxes. The song ends almost immediately, and the bandleader announces a toast from the maid of honor, the daughter of the bride, Autumn Falls.

  I remain standing as everyone files off the floor and see Future Me take the stage. The last time I saw Mom and Glen’s wedding, I looked horrible and I was such an emotionally shrunken mess I couldn’t even speak. Now I stand tall in a beautiful, sleeveless, soft-pink maid-of-honor dress. My hair is its natural orange and lustrous, not brown and lank. I look poised, together, and happy, and when I gaze out toward the head table, there’s nothing but joy in my eyes.

  “Mom…Glen…I’m so honored to speak here at your wedding.”

  The speech goes on, but I don’t want to stand and listen, I want to look around. I walk to the head table where Mom and Glen sit close. They hold hands as they listen to Future Me speak, and both their eyes fill with happy tears. There’s an empty seat next to Mom’s, which I guess is mine, and Erick’s in the seat next to that. He’s no longer fake-tan orange with bulging meathead muscles. He looks good, and I get a down-to-earth vibe from the curly-brown-haired girl next to him. I can tell by their pushed-together seats and the way she’s cuddled against his side that they’re together, but I get the feeling it’s a good match. For high school, at least.

  Hmmm. Erick has a date, but there’s just the one empty seat for me. No boyfriend. At least, that’s how it seems. Any good boyfriend would be with me at my mom’s wedding. If I were with J.J., he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

  Is J.J. even here?

  I look around the room. With everyone sitting, it’s easy to spot people I know. I see Eddy and Zelda, and Amanda with the Catches Falls gang. Then someone interrupts my toast by tapping a glass with their fork, and I see it’s Amalita. My heart pounds a little and I beeline for her table, wondering if I somehow messed things up and she’s going to make a scene, but she just wants Mom and Glen to kiss. When they do, she raises her glass of sparkling water to them, then sits back down.

  Ames is at a table with all my friends, and my heart lifts looking at them. Not just because they’re all there, but because they seem so right. Taylor’s with Drew, who’s perfectly alive and well. Jack’s with Ben, the guy I met in the future at the beach. Reenzie and Sean are both there with dates I don’t know, but they seem friendly and normal and great. Best of all, Jenna’s there, laughing and chatting with all my Aventura friends like they’ve known each other forever. And she’s with Simon, so I know she’s on track for life.

  They’re all so happy and excited, and their energy buoys me. I walk right into the middle of the table and stand there, like I’m a centerpiece, so I can soak up every one of their conversations….

  …but then suddenly I’m on the balcony with Eddy again.

  “You’re smiling,” Eddy says. “Is it good?”

  “It’s good,” I say. “Really good. Everybody I love is really happy.”

  Yet even as I say it, I feel my smile strain. I keep thinking about that single seat between Erick and my mom and the table of all my friends except J.J.

  I can’t help it. Tears well up in my eyes, and I feel like an idiot because I’m crying over something that never really happened. I never had happily-ever-after with J.J. for real. It was a possible future, that’s all. A fantasy.

  Is it crazy that I’ve never been happier than I was in a fantasy?

  Eddy looks concerned. “Querida, what is it?”

  I shake my head and blink away the tears. “I’m sorry. It’s good, really. I did everything I was supposed to. Peace and happiness, done.”

  “Then?”

  “I think I got it right for everyone except me. I saw a future that felt so right, and I wanted it so badly…but instead I just messed it up.” I sniff and tell Eddy, “Maybe Daddy knew. Maybe he gave me these gifts so I could at least make other people happy, since I’m really bad at doing it for myself.”

  Eddy rubs my arm. “No. No, carina. You have the power to spread happiness, yes. But you’re also meant to be happy. I feel it, and your father felt it too.”

  “But I’ve seen how things end up,” I say. “It doesn’t work out for me. Not the way it could’ve.”

  “It doesn’t work out yet,” Eddy says. “Is the locket all done?”

  “No. I have one more jump,” I admit. “But, Eddy, I’ve tried everything.”

  “Ah!” Eddy says, her eyes lighting up. “But have you tried nothing?”

  “Huh?”

  “Sometimes you don’t have to move mountains to change your future,” Eddy says. “Push too hard, and you can knock things over. Be true to yourself and follow your heart. Then things come to you.”

  “Eddy, you don’t understand. I did follow my heart—”

  Eddy cuts me off with a snort. “That video? Hah! That wasn’t your heart. That was your anxious brain!”

  I can’t believe it. “You saw the video?!”

  “Everyone saw the video! The staff showed it to us on the big screen during movie night. You were a huge hit!”

  “Fine. Then you know. J.J.’s perfect for me and I terrified him out of my life.”

  “Impossible!” Eddy bursts out. “If he’s really perfect, you can’t scare him away. If you can, then what you saw in the future was just a perfect moment, not a perfect life.”

  “I guess,” I admit. “But how do I know for sure?”

  “You follow your patient heart, not your anxious brain. What is truly meant to be will be. Que sera sera.”

  It’s the same advice I got from Amalita, but it somehow sounds wiser coming from my grandmother, even if a second later she hears the music kick up and shouts, “A rumba! We dance!”

  With a surprisingly strong grip for a tiny old woman, she yanks me back inside to the dance floor, but I quickly slip away. If it were up to me, I’d go home now and think about what Eddy said, but I could never do that to Ames and Taylor. We hang out all night, and in the end I’m gla
d we do. With them it’s easy to forget the ache in my heart and have a great time—especially when Taylor and I get the joy of watching Ames turn down an NBA star flat.

  That night, after Kyler has the limo drive us all home, I promise myself I’ll take Eddy’s advice. Even though I’ve had a peek into the future, I can’t live there, because it just makes me crazy. I used the locket well. I made changes in all my friends’ and family members’ lives. Now I just have to be patient and wait for my true future to come to me. Up in my room, I take the locket off. “Thank you, Daddy,” I say to the zemi. “Thanks for letting me help. I love you.”

  I curl the locket into a silver heart-shaped jewelry box that sits in my bookcase. It’s a gift Dad gave me when I was five and I thought it was the most special thing in the universe. It’ll make a good home for the zemi.

  The next day, Erick and I both sleep in until the middle of the afternoon, when Mom and Glen burst through the door. We troop downstairs and see they’re both seriously glowing with happiness.

  “You think you had a good night?” Erick asks them. “Aaron and I danced with supermodels!”

  Clearly, Mom wants to know everything, so we swap stories. I’m blown away by Mom and Glen’s—Kyler went way beyond what he said he’d do. The two of them had some crazy oceanfront suite, with ridiculously decadent meals and spa treatments. He even arranged for a guitar player to serenade them at dinner—with a Kyler Leeds song, of course.

  “It was all heavenly,” Mom finishes as we all sit together on the couch, “but the best part was just spending the time with Glen.” She looks up at him as she says it, and I’m not surprised to see that same dopey-eyed gaze between them that I’ve now seen at two of their weddings. Then she turns to me and Erick. “Thank you. Both of you.”

  Glen gets up to go home once we’ve all swapped stories. Erick invites him to come back tomorrow, but Glen says he won’t. He says he’s taken enough of our mom’s time, and we deserve to have Christmas as just the family, which I think is pretty cool of him. I still grab a Sharpie after he leaves and draw a big smiley face on a big round Christmas tree ball, then say, “Look! It’s Glen!” but I’m cool with him nonetheless.