by Green, Vicki
“That looks like a mighty uncomfortable couch.” She looks up at me from under those long lashes that some women would die to have and shrugs. “I…. Uh…. Have a fairly large bed on a rock hard mattress over here if you’d like to stretch out.” Her brows raise. “I don’t bite, ya know.” I watch as one corner of her mouth turns up just slightly. “Well, not most of the time.” Now the other side lifts a little.
She presses her full lips together and lowers her brows. “I’m okay.” My heart hurts a bit. “But…. Thank you.” That’s all I can ask.
My eyes grow tired, not takin’ much for me to feel exhausted right now. I let sleep take me, hopin’ I’ll awaken tomorrow.
A noise wakes me out of my slumber but I wasn’t sleepin’ so well anyway. I’m uncomfortable and pain is startin’ up again everywhere. I look over at Prie on the couch. She’s restless and whimperin’ in her sleep. Must be havin’ a nightmare, relivin’ the other night or could be other horrible times from her past.
I wince as I push myself up, movin’ my legs over the side of the bed. I have to stop for a minute, catchin’ my breath and grittin’ my teeth from the pain. When I feel like I can move again, I reach over and grab the IV stand at the side of the bed and pull it to me then stand. Again, I have to stop as I get a little light headed. Fuck, I can’t wait until I’m better. I hate not feelin’ like myself. I manage to take a few steps on unsure legs, the wound in my thigh makin’ me limp. Figures it would be the same leg that’s been hurt before from past fights with Mikael. Already had a slight limp when I walked anyway, now I’m sure that’ll be worse.
It takes me much longer to get over to the couch than it normally should. I stand there and look down at her. Her small body twitches as her eyes roll around underneath their lids. I turn and look back at my bed but know there’s no way I can get her over there, and then look back down at the small couch. Decision made, I struggle as I climb over her and finally nestle behind her. I have to stay still for a couple of minutes as pain radiates through me. Prolly wasn’t the smartest idea but she needs me right now. I pull the IV pole over closer and put my arm around her. Her body stills and she sighs in her slumber. I’m limited on what I can do right now, but at least I can do this much – hold her and comfort her the best I can. As the pain slowly dies down, I close my eyes and hope sleep finds me again.
Caprice
My eyes open slowly. Warmth envelopes me. That’s odd because that light blanket I put over me last night was not this warm. It’s hard to see in the darkness, the only light coming in from under the door. I look down and see an arm around me and follow a trail of tattoos until I tilt my head around and see Trevor sleeping soundly behind me. When did he get on the couch with me? He shouldn’t have gotten out of bed. He could have hurt himself, making his injuries worse. What was he thinking? I’m starting to learn that he’s just like that. Selfless, caring, always trying to help people. He makes me feel special and I don’t even know him that well. There’s just something about him. Something I can’t place. Thing is – I don’t deserve any kindness. I’m damaged beyond repair.
The door opens, light shining in from the hallway. A nurse walks in and looks at his empty bed, turns around abruptly in a panic but lets out a breath of relief when she sees us on the couch. “Lord Almighty. I swear he ‘bout gave me a heart attack,” she whispers. She shakes her head and a smile appears. “Guess we’re gonna have to figure out somethin’ so that he doesn’t climb outta bed again.”
My brows lower as I think about what she’s saying. “I’ll get up,” I whisper. I start to move but she stops me.
“Oh, no, honey. He’s actually gettin’ some good sleep. Stay put. I’m just gonna go see if I can get a bigger bed set up in here for him. Can’t have him doin’ this again. He could end up reinjurin’ himself or undoin’ the surgeon’s handiwork.” She winks at me, turns and leaves the room. Now I feel even worse. He really could have done some damage coming over here during the night. I’m surprised I didn’t feel him climbing over me but I was so exhausted. Still am.
“Good,” his rough voice sounds behind me. My body stiffens as I tilt my head back to try to look at him. There’s a smile on his face and I swear my whole insides just melted. How can I feel that way after what I’ve been through? I guess I am still a girl, yet I’m surprised by my feelings. “That’ll be much better.” I start to get up but his arm tightens around me. “Where ya goin’? I’m comfortable.”
I press my lips together, trying not to smile. He just seems to bring that out in me, just looking at me. It’s the only time I’ve smiled in so many years, I’d thought I’d forgotten how. “I…. I have to use the bathroom,” I whisper.
“Oh.” His eyes widen as he moves his arm away.
As I stand up, my legs feel unsteady from sleeping. I start to take a step but stop and turn my head. “You should get back in bed. If you wait, I’ll help you.” He looks up at me, his blue eyes shining in the dim light from the hallway.
“I’m fine right here, darlin’.” The white of his teeth show and something foreign flutters inside me.
I stumble a bit as I walk to the bathroom. After relieving myself and washing my hands, I look at my reflection in the small mirror. My face looks like someone took a baseball bat to it and along with the large dark bags underneath my eyes, I look worse than hell. I run my fingers through my long hair, needing a brush desperately to get through all the tangles. I let out a big sigh, give up, and walk out of the bathroom. I stop short when I see him lying in a bigger bed. When did all that happen? I didn’t hear anything. It’s not as big as a double bed or anything but it’s bigger than what he was in before.
“Come here, darlin’,” he says as he pats the mattress. Should I? He smiles. “’Member? I don’t bite. Much.” He chuckles low and deep but keeps staring into my eyes. My heart begins to race. I did feel so much more secure in his arms during the night. He seemed to help keep my nightmares at bay. I start chewing on my lower lip, my fingers tangling together, which is hard with my left arm in a cast. His brows lower and concern mars his gorgeous face. “Don’t be afraid, Prie. I wouldn’t ever hurt you.”
My heart breaks some with his words and the way he’s looking at me but somehow I believe him. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been so kind to me. From what I’ve learned he’s really helped Shiloh out too, over the years, always been there for her. Now I feel bad. I walk over slowly and watch him pull the covers back. He winces with his movements so I move a little faster and climb onto the bed, scared I’m gonna hurt him with all the jostling. I finally get situated and have to turn on my right side due to my cast, which makes me face him. I feel uncomfortable, not really being in the bed itself but being so close to him. I close my eyes tight, reopening them quickly when I feel his arm move around me. He almost picks me up to move me even closer, and I have no choice but to lay my head on his chest. I look up at him and see his eyes are closed, wincing in pain. “I’m hurting you,” I whisper so low that I almost can’t hear myself.
One of his eyes opens just a crack and looks down at me. “No, darlin’. You’re not the one hurtin’ me.” I feel his hand on my head, stroking down my long tangled hair and back. “This is more comfortable with you this way than how we were before. Just give me a sec to calm myself down from movin’.” The corner of his full lips turns up into a small smile. It worries me that my head is just below his wound. Still, it feels awkward with my casted arm. I don’t want to put unnecessary weight anywhere on him but I’m unsure where to put it. “You won’t hurt me, Prie. Here.” He takes my arm and lays it down on his stomach. “There. That’s better.”
I look up and scrunch my face. “Doesn’t that hurt with the weight of my cast there?”
He chuckles and my arm actually moves with his stomach. “Darlin’, I may be a bit slower with my injuries but I’m still fairly tough.” I bite my lip and look down, trying not to l
augh. When I look back up, his eyes are closed and not long after, I hear his light breathing. I yawn, seeing him in peaceful slumber makes me tired. My eyes start closing of their own accord and I snuggle my head into his chest, lightly. Darkness surrounds me and with the feeling of his arm around me it makes me more comfortable and secure than I care to admit.
“She needs food and water – lots of water.” My brows lower, my head moving with the vibrations of his rough voice.
“I’ll get that and I brought her some clothes and bathroom things. I’m sure she’d like to take a bath. We’ll have to be careful of her arm. I’m not sure if she likes to read but I brought a few books from Colby’s library too.” Her voice sounds familiar but I can’t place it.
I open my eyes slowly and see Sadie standing next to the bed, pulling things out of a sack that’s sitting on the table over us. My heart beats a little faster, although I’m not sure why I feel this way. She’s really a nice person. I just don’t know her very well. I try to sit up but find it difficult with my casted arm, the other pinned underneath me. As I start to raise, Trevor’s strong hand grasps my upper arm and helps me the rest of the way. Even in his weakened condition he’s still so strong.
“Careful, Darlin’.” His voice alone sends unfamiliar feelings through me not to mention what his touch is doing to me. My eyes snap up to his as goose bumps spread across the skin of my arm. I could get lost in those baby blues. My heart begins to beat way too fast. What am I thinking? How can I possibly be having anything remotely close to these kind of feelings? I must have broken more than my arm. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.
Before I was taken by the Mikael, I’d never had sex. Never known the feel of a man’s touch. This man didn’t show me any love, no affection that I always saw Dad give to Mom. He told me how men were all evil and that I’d best accept that. He said to always do what they say, never question. From what I saw, what he did, I stopped talking. Stopped feeling. Stopped praying.
“Caprice? Would you like to take a bath? I could help you, if you’d like.” My eyes look up at Sadie. She smiles at me and makes me feel other things. Like compassion and caring. I’m just not sure how to deal with all the emotions that are beginning to overwhelm me. Sweet doesn’t begin to describe her. She’s so thoughtful and without knowing her completely yet, I feel like I could really like her. Can I expose myself to her that way? What I lived through is embarrassing enough but to have someone other than that doctor see what’s hidden beneath my clothes? Whatever she feels about me might change. How could it not? “I don’t have to though, if you’re not comfortable. I can get a nurse to help you.” She continues to smile. The look in her eyes is of gentleness, kindness.
Someone I don’t know at all would help me? “No! I….” I look down and find I’m fidgeting with the fingers on my casted hand. I stop myself and look back up at her. “That would be very nice if you’d like to help me. Thank you.” Her smile grows even more. What I wouldn’t give to be strong. I used to be – so long ago. I so want to get back to being that girl.
“I brought you some things. I’ll just take them into the bathroom and get things ready, then I’ll come help you.” She grabs the things she’d set on the table and practically waltzes into the bathroom. I purse my lips, trying to hide my smile, one that wants to come out so badly. I turn and look at Trevor, seeing the big smile on his face and twinkle in his eyes. He continues to smile and gently nods towards the bathroom. I nod and climb off the bed and walk to the bathroom slowly.
I get inside and close the door behind me. It’s really a small room with just enough room for two people to squeeze by each other. “Here. I have everything ready.” She smiles and I start to pull up on the hem of my shirt but stop. She turns her back to me. “I won’t look. Just let me know if you need any help.” I feel a little better as I struggle to remove my shirt then my bra. I don’t look down at myself or in the mirror. I stopped doing that a long time ago. I lean down and pull off my yoga pants and panties. I’m thankful that she let me borrow these as I have nothing to my name. I look over at the inviting water and step inside the tub. I take a deep breath because I know it’s time to show someone what I’ve been hiding. No one has ever seen me this way, except the doctors here, and even though I’d rather no one ever did, I’m glad it’s Sadie that will be seeing it. She’s already helped me so much and I’m glad that I’m feeling a little more comfortable with her. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be completely comfortable with anyone ever again.
“I’m ready,” I whisper.
She turns, a smile already on her beautiful face. She kneels down beside the tub and takes the washcloth and soap in her hands. Once she’s gotten a good lather I lean forward, pulling my long blonde hair over my shoulder, my eyes closing so I don’t see her reaction. I feel warm water covering my back, and I hear nothing but the sounds of her washing. I open my eyes and peek up at her, seeing no change in her face. She looks down as she cleans me, but then her eyes look at me briefly. “So much pain he caused. So much strife.” I swallow hard at her words. She takes the cloth and dips it in the water, rinsing it out and lathering more soap. She looks at me with sadness but no pity. “I’ve had my own dealings with someone who wanted me dead but luckily Colby saved me and my Memphis from him. I know I didn’t suffer anything remotely close to you and Shiloh have but I’m always here if you want to talk. When Shiloh first came here and after learning what she’d been through, was still going through, we became really good friends. It seemed to help her to talk to me and I’m thankful for that.” I move my casted arm out of the way as she takes a small plastic cup, filling it with water and pouring it over my head. Then she takes the shampoo and I feel like I could fall asleep as she washes my hair. “Everyone’s different in how they deal with things but sometimes talking to someone, especially one who has been through a similar situation, really helps.” She rinses out the shampoo from my hair and I look up at her, my eyes full of tears. She smiles. “Shiloh’s a great listener too and she dealt with him for a lot longer than you did, honey. She’s one of the best people I know.” I nod and give her a small smile, feeling better after getting clean. Maybe at some point I can get clean inside.
She gives me some privacy and I put on the clean bra, long sleeved t-shirt, panties, and yoga pants she brought. She told me they are Shiloh’s and even though she isn’t very large, they still swallow me. They are both so nice to do this for me. They didn’t have to. Maybe she’s right about talking to her or Shiloh. I hope someday I can. I’m not sure that’s possible. I want to do something, though. Something to help me be me again. Once I was happy. I had a loving life and all that it brought me. I had a loving family, people who cared about me. Once I had a life. He took all that from me. Not just the people I loved with my whole heart but he took what I once was. I hope I can be strong again one day and take that back.
Chapter Two
Trevor
The nurse came in while Prie was taking her bath and changed the dressing on my chest and thigh. Wasn’t too bad considerin’ she first gave me a shot for pain. I told her she needed to bring in food and a lot of water for Prie and she said she was already on it. I got really worried when the girls finally came outta the bathroom. Prie’s eyes looked like she’d been cryin’ but Sadie winked at me and smiled so I felt a bit better. I know Sadie and Shiloh have gotten really close, and I also know Sadie really helped Shiloh open up about her past. I’m sure that Shiloh didn’t tell her everythin’, hell I’m not even sure I know everythin’, but enough to help her deal with things a bit better, knowin’ she had someone she could talk to. I hope Prie can feel that way at some point. Know it would help her too.
Prie walks over and sits on the couch while Sadie comes to me and kisses my cheek. Nice woman. “I’m gonna go over and visit with Shiloh for a bit, then I need to get home. The weather is really bad outside so Memphis is picking me up. I’m sure he’ll s
top by before we leave.” I give her a smile. She leans in close and whispers, “She’s a sweet girl. It’s going to take her a long time to become the person she’s meant to be. I’m so glad she has you to look out for her. You know we’ll help in any way possible.”
Damn good people, her and Memphis. Doesn’t seem to take much for me to get teary eyed lately. I blame the pain meds. I grasp her upper arms and raise up a bit to give her a kiss on her cheek which makes me wince a little. “Thank you for all ya’ll do. You’re very special people.”
Her smile is sweet as she stands back up. She tells Prie goodbye and starts to walk outta the room when a nurse walks in carryin’ a tray of food.
“It’s not the best food in town, but it’ll pass,” she says as she sets it down on the round table by the couch. She picks up a bowl and a glass of water and brings them over to me, setting them down on the table over my bed. “You, my friend, get a liquid breakfast.” She smiles at me as she gives me a wink. “Better be glad you even get this, so soon after surgery. Doc thinks you’re doing well enough to warrant it.”
