by Green, Vicki
He smiles, the white of his teeth showing. “That’s okay. I think Angel suits you.”
I open my mouth to speak when footsteps sound near us.
“Sorry, Prie. Here’s your orders,” Tina says as she sets the plates down in front of us both. “Hi there.”
I look at him then back at Tina. “Oh, where are my manners. Nash Harris – This is Tina….” I look at her and frown. “I don’t think I know your last name.”
She sticks out her hand at Nash and smiles. “Brogdon. Tina Brogdon. Nice to meet you, Nash.” I have to hold in my laughter at her gushing. My eyes widen as he stands, taking her hand and bringing it up to his lips. I think she might faint.
“Very happy to meet you, Miss Tina Brogdon.”
He kisses the top of her hand and her eyes flutter. Oh, my! Either he’s a smooth talker or genuine. Really hard to tell. He sits back down, smiling up at her, and she doesn’t speak again, just turns and walks back to the counter.
“Seems like a nice girl.”
I blink rapidly, still mesmerized by the interaction. “Yes, she is.” I give him a smile. “So, you’re new here?”
He leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his broad chest. “Yup. My pa passed away a few months ago and….”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Nash.” My heart breaks for him.
“Thank you, Angel. Well, he’d made quite a life for us with his horse breedin’ so I came into quite a bit of money. Don’t mean to brag or nothin’, just how it is. So, I wanted a new life for myself and decided this town was perfect to begin again. My boys, ones who worked for my pa forever, are all movin’ up here around town in the next few weeks. One of them will be haulin’ up the horses we have and gettin’ them settled at our new place. I heard of this feller, Trevor MacKay, touched base with him on people boardin’ any that they buy from my breedin’.” My heart rate increases at his name. “He was right surprised and excited about the prospect. You know him?” I nod but that’s all I do. A lump has settled at the base of my throat and I can’t seem to swallow. “Well, that’s great!”
We talk for over an hour and I never did see Sadie. We talked about a ton of things, none of which were what happened to me or my family. Not sure I ever want to share that with another person, hard enough talking to Kathy about it. I was thankful he didn’t ask about my broken arm.
It’s dark outside by the time we leave. Nash walked me to my car door, making sure I was safe. Not sure I need that in this small town, not from what I’ve seen anyway, but I guess anything can happen anywhere.
When I get close to the turn off for home, I stare up ahead, wondering what Trevor is doing. My heart breaks a little wondering if he’s thinking about me at all. I turn off the road and when I get close to the house, I see Memphis’ truck in the drive. I pull into the garage and quickly get out, jogging into the house. I feel bad that I’m getting home so late but I don’t have a phone to call them. I hope they aren’t upset. Laughter fills the air from the dining room. I walk through the kitchen and stop in the doorway. Memphis and Sadie are at the table with Shiloh and Colby, eating dinner and talking.
“Oh, Prie! Get yourself a plate. There’s plenty and we didn’t sit down too long ago.” Shiloh smiles. Everyone stops talking and looks my way. I give a small smile back and go get a plate and silverware then walk back in and sit down next to her. “You must be starved. How did it go today?”
I pick up the spoon in the mashed potatoes and begin filling my plate. I am starving! “It was good. Sorry I’m late. I ended up at the coffee shop for a treat.”
I watch as she places her hand on mine, stopping my movements. “I’m so glad and don’t you worry. You’re a woman. I’m just a worrier. I know you can take care of yourself.” She looks at Colby, smiles and winks.
He shifts in his seat, winking back. “Tomorrow I would like you to go in to town a little early. I’ll give you some money for a phone. You need one, just in case of an emergency if for no other reason.” He gives me a smile, and I nod.
I start putting more potatoes on my plate and then start on loading it with peas. “I’m so happy to see you eating so well, Prie,” Sadie says. “You look so much heathier and I’m so proud of you for getting a job. I’m sorry I missed you at the shop but we went to a doctor’s appointment.” She looks as if she’s about to bust by the look of the smile on her face.
“Thank you. It’s great to see you.” Her smile grows. I stop, holding my plate up in the air and tilt my head. “What am I missing?” Her smile is contagious, and I find myself joining in.
She looks over at Memphis and then back at me. “Oh, nothing. Just had a really great doctor’s visit.” She looks over at Memphis with such love in her eyes and lays a hand on his arm. She looks back at me, her face glowing. “I’m now fifteen weeks along and we found out that we’re having a boy and a girl,” she squeals. Happiness envelopes me. “The doctor said sometimes it can be too early to tell but the ultrasound she did confirmed it. Both babies showed exactly what they have or don’t have.” She laughs and everyone laughs with her. I look at Memphis and can tell how proud he is.
“That’s so great, Sadie. Memphis. I’m so happy for you. Have you all given them names yet?”
She looks at Memphis and squeezes his hand. He clears his throat suddenly choked up as he looks into her eyes. “Jarrett and Evelyn. After my parents. Jared and Evie for short.”
“Such lovely names,” I whisper feeling choked up myself.
We have a great dinner, full of good food and companionship. After helping clean up, I’m exhausted. I take a quick shower then climb into bed. Laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling, I’m feeling so thankful for my life and my friends.
Chapter Eight
Trevor
It’s been a month and I haven’t been over to see Prie. To be honest, I’m scared. I’m afraid that when I see her I’ll want her so badly that it’ll hurt. Now, I’m a strong man, but love, that’s a different matter altogether. Love can hurt so bad you don’t think you can take it anymore. It can make you do and say crazy things. It pulls you in and sucks you dry but oh, what a way to go. Only girl I’ve ever loved turned out to be Prie’s sister and she was killed in an accident. Hattie took my heart, kept it safe. When she moved, I thought my life was over but Grammy told me I’d always remember her. Always. But after a few years and no contact, I pushed her deep into the recesses of my mind. I had to. I would have gone insane. Prie did give me somethin’ to hold on to. She told me Hattie had written me. That meant the world to me. It told me she did think of me, missed me. God, if only….
I’ve stayed busy. Fixin’ up the barn, plowin’ a field and plantin’ some vegetables, and even bought a few fruit trees plantin’ them close to the house. I’ve saved my money, tuckin’ it away, and have plenty to live on for a while. I got a call from this new feller, Nash Harris. He’s the one that moved into the farm down the road. He invited me over and showed me his land. Boy, howdy! It’s huge and real nice. Says he breeds horses, his pa taught him. His horses and men who work for him are comin’ in next week. Said when people buy them he will tell them they can board them with me. Mighty nice of him. Seems like a pretty good guy.
Hank brought over his filly last week. Been workin’ with her. She’s pretty smart. He’d gotten her from the next town over for his young daughter. He’s brought Jessica over a couple of times and I’ve been showin’ her how to ride. Nice girl, about nine years old. Says she wants to ride professionally one day.
Now, I’m headin’ into town, gotta get me a few things. I stop at the hardware store, loaded my truck up with some fencin’ and nails. I’ve been hard workin’ on the pastures, got one set up for horses. Buck’s filly, Storm, loves to run out there and graze by the pond. Was a perfect place to put it. Now, I’m workin’ on one for some cows, which I hope to get a couple soon. Chicke
ns? Yeah, I’m buildin’ a coop that runs inside and outside the barn. Got that idea from bein’ at Memphis’ house. Reminds me I need to stop by there on my way back. I’m missin’ my friends, although Colby’s been stoppin’ by regularly. He never says anythin’ about Prie, only that she’s doin’ good. I never ask either. I wanna know more but am afraid of what I’ll find out, I guess. The sun is shinin’ today, the air cool but not brisk. Spring’s comin’ soon, in a month or two. I’m ready for the warm weather. My stomach growls at that time, and I chuckle. After loadin’ up the last of the wirin’, I walk across the street to the coffee shop, suddenly gettin’ a hankerin’ for one of them pastries.
It’s busy when I walk inside, all the tables are full. There’s a few people in line so I wait my turn. “Trevor!” I turn and see Sadie walkin’ out of the back room. My heart swells seein’ her. I look down and see her hand layin’ on her swollen stomach. I’ve lost track how far along she is. She’s blessed to be havin’ two babies and bein’ with the man she loves. I envy her. Them.
“Sadie. Good to see you.” I give her a hug when she reaches me. She pulls back and smiles then takes my hand and starts pullin’ me towards the back room. I let her lead me, pushin’ through all the people. I’ve never been in the back. Nice. Clean. Smells heavenly. She takes me to a table and pulls out a chair. “You sit here and I’ll get your coffee.” She smiles and I nod my head in appreciation. She leaves the room but comes back shortly with a cup, settin’ it down on the table. “We’ve had such a mad rush that I asked Prie to help out.” Prie. My heart stills and I choke back my emotions. She walks over to the oven, bendin’ down to look inside, then takes an oven mitt, opens the door and pulls out the most amazin’ aroma filled pastry that I’ve ever seen or smelled. She sets the large bakin’ sheet down on the center workin’ table and grabs a plate, takin’ a spatula and scoopin’ one up. She turns and picks up a fork from a utensil cup and brings them over to me. I close my eyes, takin’ a deep breath. Heaven. I pick up the fork, cuttin’ into it and place the bite in my mouth. “That good, huh?” I open my eyes when I realize I’d just moaned out loud.
I smile and chew slowly, wantin’ to savor the taste. After I swallow I cut another bite, holdin’ it on my fork when I look at her. “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
She rocks on her feet, smilin’ big. “Thanks. Tina came up with it. Kind of a stroke of genius in her dreams. Ha.”
“Well, she’s outdone herself.” I place the bite in my mouth and almost moan again. I notice her hand lovingly on her stomach again and smile as I chew and swallow. “So, Colby told me the news. A boy and girl, huh?” Her smile widens. Her face radiant. “Jared and Evie. Good strong names.” She looks down at her protrudin’ stomach and then back into my eyes.
“Thank you. We can’t wait until they get here.”
I take another bite then a drink of my coffee, the combination almost euphoric. I look back at her and grin. “This is almost sinful. How are you feelin’? Everythin’ okay?”
She walks over and sits down beside me. “Yes. I’m doing very well. Thank you. And how about you? Everything good at the farm? What about your healing? You’re not overdoing it, are you?” I let out a chuckle and scratch the scruff on my chin.
“Darlin’. I’m doin’ good but thank ya.” Feelin’s overtake me. Couldn’t have a better friendship. Feelin’ so blessed. “Nah. I’m good. Just gettin’ everythin’ taken care of.”
Her face changes into sadness. “And how are you holding up without Prie there?” My heart lodges in my throat. Her look of sadness washin’ over me. “Trevor. I know she misses you. Why don’t you talk to her?”
I take the last bite and wash it down with the coffee. This is somethin’ I don’t want to talk about. Think about. I stand and lean over her, givin’ her a kiss on the top of her head. I look down into her sad eyes and smile. “Thank ya for the food and coffee.” I reach up and rub the soft skin on her cheek. “Sadie. I’m not good for her. She deserves the best and I’m just not it. It’s better that she finds that out now. She’s got so much life to live and I hear she’s doin’ so well. I’d just screw it up. I’ll talk to you soon. You take care of those youngin’s.” I give her another smile, knowin’ I need to get outta here before I break down. She gives me a sad smile, and I turn and walk outta the room, hopin’ I can get outta the shop unnoticed.
“Oh, my God! Trevor MacKay!” Shit! Busted!
I stop dead in my tracks, so close to the front door.
“Trevor! Don’t you dare leave without saying hello to me.” Tina.
Turning, I plaster on a smile. “Nice to see you, Tina.” I’m squeezed into a hug before I have time to think. I wrap my arms around her, givin’ her one back. Lookin’ over her shoulder, my heart stops when I look straight into Prie’s eyes. I stiffen. Tina takes a step back and gives me a knowin’ look.
“Did Sadie take care of you? I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying hi to me.” I see from the corner of my eye she’s poutin’. I can’t seem to take my eyes off of Prie. I watch as Prie fiddles with her fingers, somethin’ I’ve come to know she does when she’s nervous or frustrated. I’m hopin’ I have the same effect on her as she does on me. “Here. I brought you something.” Prie gives me a small smile and then looks at a customer and talks to them, breakin’ the spell she has me in. I look down at the small sack Tina’s shoving at me. I take it from her hand, openin’ it, and smell the goodness inside then look up at her, my smile growin’.
“Thank you, darlin’. That’s mighty kind of you. I had a bit of this heaven. You’re incredible.” I give her a one handed hug and she beams. “I gotta run now but will see you again soon.”
“Thank you!” Her smile is huge as she turns and walks back to the counter. I look back, one last time, not able to help myself, and my blood boils. Nash is standin’ at the counter. Prie’s head tilts back with her laughter. I’ve never seen anythin’ more beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her laugh full out. Somethin’ I missed out on. She looks at him, talkin’ a mile a minute. She’s changed, more free, more relaxed. I’ve missed it. She’s moved on. I’m overcome with sadness, guilt, but I did this to myself. I let her go. It’s what I thought I wanted to help her have a good life. I turn and walk out the door, feelin’ beaten, alone. I walk across the street, my feet draggin’ with my emotions.
I get home with too much time to think. I pour every hurt feelin’, every defeat and decision I’ve made into workin’ on the fencin’ for the second pasture. By afternoon, I’m covered in sweat, the sun beatin’ down on me. I walk back towards the house, almost to the deck when I see her. She’s standin’ over at the area where I’ve planted the vegetables, lookin’ down at them. My heart skips a beat. My breath catches in my throat. Suddenly, I’m unable to move as I take in her beauty. She grew up too fast, forced to. Through my eyes she’s become a woman, somethin’ else I missed in my decision to let her go. As if she senses me, her head turns, her eyes sparklin’ in the sunlight. She smiles, shyly, but doesn’t move. Another decision made, I start walkin’ towards her. By the time I get close enough to touch her, she’s turned fully to me. “Hello, sweetheart.” I try to give her a grin but I feel frozen, not believin’ she’s actually here.
She shivers as she takes a deep breath. “Hi, Trevor.”
I look down feelin’ ashamed, but when I look back up into her eyes all I feel is cared for. “I’m sorry that I….”
“No!” She stops me. “Don’t be sorry about anything. You were right to have me leave. I’m actually better for it. I found my wings, my drive to get better. It was hard….” She looks down, pushin’ around a rock in the grass with her foot. When she looks back up, her beauty hits me hard again. She’s grown up. “I got my driver’s license and a job. I’m saving up my money to get a car. I’m doing well, Trevor, and it’s all thanks to you.”
I look do
wn feelin’ all kinds of shy. Not like me. I just can’t look into her eyes. She makes me want to grab her, hold her in my arms and not let go. “It wasn’t me, Darlin’.” I finally manage to look back up. Her eyes soften – burnin’ into my soul. “It’s all you. I’m so damn proud of you.” I swallow hard at her smile. My emotions are all over the place. I want to hold her but push her away at the same time.
She starts pullin’ at her fingers, and my heart feels heavy. “Well. I just wanted to stop by and say hi.” She looks around. Her long blonde hair blows in the breeze around her. It’s gotten longer. My fingers itch to wind themselves into those strands, feel the softness again. “You’ve gotten a lot done.” She looks back at me, her smile so beautiful I want to capture it, savor it. “I have to get to work now,” she says as she starts walkin’ backwards. For the first time, I notice her cast is gone, remindin’ me how much I’ve missed. I’ve missed her. “Maybe I’ll see you again, soon.” She turns, lookin’ over her shoulder as she walks off. Walkin’ outta my life. I watch as she gets near the side of my house, wantin’ to run after her, tell her I love her. I freeze, my heart beatin’ so hard. She walks out of my vision.
I don’t know how long I stand here, unable to move. I love her. Not Hattie. Her. After my dream of Hattie that night, wakin’ up and lookin’ down at Prie, I think I knew then but pushed it back. How could I love someone my whole life and then fall in love with someone else? But I knew. I knew as I kissed her, touched her soft skin. I knew when I looked deeply into her eyes, ones that looked back at me with hope, longin’, want, and need. She’d wanted me as much as I wanted her. Then I destroyed it. I pushed her away, makin’ it out to be somethin’ she did but it wasn’t. It was me who couldn’t own up to my feelin’s, makin’ her think it was her fault. It was better that she left, better for her, even though it ‘bout destroyed me. She deserves so much happiness, to live a good life, find what suits her. She needed to become stronger, heal outside but within as well. She must be doin’ that by the looks of her. She’s changed already. She seems more confident, whole. I’m sure she’s not one hundred percent inside, but I could tell she’s come such a long way. She needs to be the young woman she was supposed to be. By God, she’s doin’ that and more. I need to let her go again, make myself work so hard that I don’t think about her. Not sure I can do that.
