by L. B. Dunbar
“What did Mom say?”
“Ice cream it is,” Gee says, and my dad laughs. It’s a sound I haven’t heard in a long time. “Hey Grandpa Jack, where can you learn about ice cream?”
“I don’t know, where?”
“Sundae school.”
My dad laughs harder, and tears burn in my eyes for some reason.
Take 24
Scene: The Hospital
[Gavin]
It’s the middle of the night when I hear rustling below me. Mum is hacking, and something crashes. I rush down the stairs to find my dad helping Mum into a sweater.
“What’s going on?” Mum’s on the couch, looking gray as goose feathers. Her body folds in half as she coughs.
“We’re heading to the hospital,” Dad commands as if telling Mum more than explaining the situation to me.
“I’ll go too,” I tell him and take the steps two at a time back to my room. I tug on a T-shirt and step into my shorts from last night. Slipping into flip-flops, I skip down the steps to see Dad struggling to help Mum stand.
“I got her,” I say, leaning forward to scoop her up. Dad doesn’t want to let her go, his arm still around her, but I look him square in the eye. We don’t have time for a standoff. We need the hospital.
“You drive,” I tell him as we head to the old truck. Slipping Mum between us, I pull her to me.
“Waited for you,” she says between coughs. “He’s so amazing.” I glance at Dad over Mum’s scarf covered head. I’m afraid to ask what she means.
“Call Karyn,” Dad strains. I reach for my phone and press her number in my contacts. No one answers, but I leave a message.
“Call Ethan,” Dad says next as stress vibrates off him, filling the cab of the truck.
Once we arrive at the emergency entrance, Mum is immediately taken, and Dad follows. I offer to park the truck for him, trembling as I pull into a spot. My head knows what my heart does not want to admit about this situation.
After being told Mum was taken to oncology, I finally find the floor to see Karyn outside Mum’s room. She’s dressed in scrubs, and it explains why she didn’t answer her phone.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“She has pneumonia again, but it’s more than that.” Karyn’s eyes meet mine, and without words, she says it all. I slip both hands into my hair and spin in a slow circle, blowing out a breath.
“This can’t be happening,” I mutter.
“Oh. Not convenient for you?” Karyn snarks. “Cancer’s a bitch.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I snap, hating my sister just a little. “Is E here yet?”
Karyn shakes her head, lifting her phone.
“I already called him.” She looks up at me, surprised.
When a nurse steps out of the room, Karyn knows her, and she tells us all she can. “They’re going to sedate her. Keep her as comfortable as they can.” The nurse reaches out and pats Karyn’s arm before stepping down the hall.
Ethan enters the hallway with Ella at his side. “What’s going on?”
Karyn gives him a look, and Ella curls into him, holding him without him reciprocating. He’s shocked.
We stand still, sharing stares with one another, knowing the inevitable is happening.
+ + +
We’re only allowed into Mum’s room a few at a time, so we take shifts during the remainder of the night. It’s clear she’s out of it, muttering incomprehensively while her head occasionally rolls on the pillow.
At one point, I need to excuse myself to call Joe. Ethan walks with me, needing some fresh air, and we step outside as I make the call.
“Gavin, where the hell are you?” He isn’t mad but frustrated.
“My mom’s in the hospital.”
“Fuck,” he groans through the phone. “Talk to me,” he says in the direct way he has. I quickly explain Mum’s cancer and where we are with it.
“What are you thinking?” Joe says.
When talk show hosts used to say, but there’s more, Joe, they had this moment in mind.
I lay out the rest of my shitshow life.
“She never fucking told you.” Joe whistles through the phone.
“Not one hint.” It angers me again to consider, but then I think of last night, her letting me into her body. Her fingers digging into my back as though she didn’t want to let me go any more than I want to release her.
“Man, that just sucks. But . . .” Joe hesitates. “You’re a dad, and that’s pretty cool.” Joe has kids, although I don’t remember their ages. “Look, I’ve got to say the timing of everything isn’t great, but cancer doesn’t care, am I right? And you just took those two weeks off, although one was for business, which I might add, paid off. We got a call from Bigflixs. They want to talk next week. It’d be great if you could be here, but I totally understand if it doesn’t work.”
Thank God, Joe is understanding.
“Bigflixs, you say.” My eyes meet Ethan’s. “I’ll get back to California as soon as I can.”
“Keep me posted on things. We’re moving forward with Juan.”
“Awesome,” I tell Joe, and we end with me promising to check in by the end of the week.
“Wow, Bigflixs,” Ethan says, whistling.
“I know. It’s amazing.” However, I don’t feel the thrill of it yet.
“So when you leavin’?” Ethan asks, his voice snarky and edgy.
“I don’t know. I’m waiting for Mum.”
“Waiting on Mum to do what?” Ethan’s irritation grows as he snaps at me, taunting me.
“E. Come on, don’t pick a fight with me. I need to see what happens.”
Ethan steps up to me, facing off. “You’re lucky you didn’t say what I thought you’d say.”
I almost laugh as he’s so wordy and convoluted, but I know what he means. Neither one of us wants to say out loud the truth of why we’re holding our breaths.
It hurts to admit, and I realize just a little bit how Britton felt. The truth is hard to say sometimes. Still, she’s not forgiven. Even though I entered her last night and being inside her felt amazing. I’m not certain I can forgive her, which sucks because there’s no one I want more right now.
“You should move home,” Ethan blurts, repeating what he told me at Jacob’s.
“Why?”
“Because they need you,” Ethan says, swiping a hand into his hair and holding it back at the top of his head. The move is so similar to my own, only his fingers tangle in the top of his while mine keep going. It’s a strange thing to consider at the moment.
“We all need you.” His voice cracks. I don’t want to see my brother cry. Not yet. We need to hold ourselves together.
“E,” I groan, stepping up to him, but he holds up his hands.
“If I had a kid, I’d be there for him, one-hundred percent. You need to be here for him, not across the country.”
“A lot is happening at once, man. I need to catch my breath.”
“Don’t run,” Ethan begs.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, shaking my head.
“Yet,” Ethan snaps, pausing on the word like a giant question mark.
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“You’ll leave and never look back, just like before. That’s why she didn’t tell you. You left her, too.” Ethan’s voice rises before he brushes past me, returning inside the hospital. Swiping both hands in my hair, I tip back my head.
“Fuck,” I groan out loud.
This is all about Mum, I tell myself. Ethan’s just afraid, as we all are.
Then I remember Gee’s question from the other day. How long will I live?
His asking almost broke me. More importantly, what will I do with the life I have left? What are my priorities—or, rather, who?
Gee is number one now.
Gee . . . and Britton.
Take 25
Scene: A Cottage Bedroom Again
[Britton]
“What
you’re saying is Gavin Scott is Gee’s father?” Jenna stares at me after asking for clarification while Henry leans over the counter, watching me.
“Yes.” Despite being my employees, they are my closest friends, and I needed to tell someone what’s happened. Now that the secret is free, I want to tell everyone just to get it over with. Jenna and Henry are a safe place to start, or so I thought, until Henry glares at me.
“And you never tried to find him again?” he asks.
“I had Patrick.”
“Did he not allow you to find Gavin?” Henry’s voice roughens.
“It wasn’t like that. There just wasn’t a need, but Patrick eventually did want me to find Gavin for Gee’s sake.” I wouldn’t say it was a deathbed wish of his, but Patrick was reasonable, and he believed Gee needed to know the truth eventually.
“So you’ve told Gavin now because you need him?”
“Henry,” Jenna softly warns. “Britton doesn’t need Gavin like that. She’s very independent.” I appreciate Jenna’s vote of confidence. I don’t need Gavin, but I do want him. The other night proved that I’m not ready to let him go, as I let him take me against his childhood bedroom door like we were teenagers again. He’s hurting, and I want to take his pain, especially because I’ve caused it.
“What about Gavin’s need to know?” Henry defends, drilling the painful screw deeper. I recognize I’ve done wrong. I hurt Gavin, and I’ve kept someone important from Gee. However, none of what happened was done maliciously.
“I’ve apologized to Gavin. We’ve discussed our original misunderstanding and my lack of ability to find him. Now, we need time to heal and move forward.”
“That real estate lady has been here again, upping her offer,” Henry says as if he didn’t hear me. His tone is filled with anger. “If you need money, you should sell.”
Rebecca Sterling made another production of showing up this morning. It just so happens she appeared hours after I’d opened the tax bill, balanced my finances, and wondered what the hell I’m doing thinking I can pull this off—be a single mother, work full-time running a business, and own property I can hardly afford to live on.
“I’m not selling.” The money sounds tempting, but it’s not, and the more I tell myself that, the more I’ll believe it. I’m not leaving my house. I’m not giving up the land that Gee and I love. I’m not moving. It’s something I considered for all of three seconds when I think about Gee being separated from Gavin. He had a ton of questions after leaving the Scott farm, and I don’t have any answers for him yet.
When can I see him?
Where does he live?
Will he come to visit me?
How much time will he spend with me?
Can he come to Cooperstown?
Gavin also called me this morning to tell me his mom isn’t doing well, and they are at the hospital. I hate to think about what this means, so I didn’t ask anything other than offering myself.
“I’m here for whatever you need.” I don’t even know that he’d want my help. Sure, we had sex again like those two lust-crazed teens, but it was only out of anger and regret that Gavin pressed me up against the door and filled me as only he can do. I sigh with the thought. I’ve been playing it on repeat all day, and I need to get my libido in check. Last night wasn’t anything more than one more mistake between Gavin and me.
However, the way he touches me. The way we kiss. The way we come together. There’s just nothing like it.
“Well, I’m happy for Gee. He lost one dad to gain another. This will be good for him. Every little boy needs a man in his life.”
Henry glares at Jenna before turning back to me. “How is Gavin taking this?” His concern for Gavin is justified, overwhelming, and a bit disconcerting.
“He’s been taking the news . . . slowly. We had dinner with his parents last night, and things went well.” His mother and father were very accepting of Gee, and that’s really all I can ask for from them, especially as we all live in the same town together. It’s a small town, and I’m certain news will spread quickly of Gee’s real parentage. “However, his mom’s in the hospital today, and he has other things on his mind.”
“What’s happening with Sarah?” Jenna asks, and I tell her what I know.
“That’s too bad,” Henry adds, lowering his head. “He’s had a lot to take in lately.” Henry’s been hurt in the past, and it’s evident by how adamant he is in giving a male perspective. I reflect on all that’s happened for Gavin in the past two weeks. He’s returned home after years of absence. He announces this production company and a new career. He finds out he’s a father, and his mother is deathly ill. Like everyone, he’s only human, and I wonder when he’ll break because we all do at some point.
It had been so difficult to accept my pregnancy at twenty-three and single. It has also been hard to accept that Patrick could love me and my child, who wasn’t his, but nothing could prepare me for his death so early in our marriage. His loss was a big breaking point for me, and when Leo died within the next year, I struggled with how truly alone I’d be. Just Gee and me.
But I’m not really.
I have my cousin, Duke, as my friend, and Theo, his child, now under my roof. I have Jenna, Henry, and my business. Putting one foot in front of the other is the goal with my business and getting that damn tax bill paid down. Finally, I had Gavin’s family for Gee. I believe his mother and father genuinely want to know my son, their grandchild, and this will be good for Gee as he essentially doesn’t have grandparents. As for Gavin, I won’t rely on him for me, but I am hopeful he’ll be here for Gee in some capacity. However, deep down, I wish we could somehow be together. I wish we could be here for one another, but I need to think of Gee and Gavin’s relationship first. I want Gavin to forgive me, but I’m not certain that will be enough. I want Gavin to love me, and that is more than I could ask of him.
I’m so angry.
I should hate you.
If pinning me against a door and hammering into me is his expression of hate, I’m curious what love would look like from him. Then I recall all the innocent touches between us since his return. The way he’s been pursuing me and telling me at every turn how he’s missed me. There’s also the look in his eyes when he looks at me and the way we come together. As he said, it’s what we do. We’re drawn to one another. I don’t know how to process Gavin’s feelings, but I recognize my own.
I want to love him.
+ + +
Once the bandage of telling Jenna and Henry is removed, and the shop is closed, I head home. Gee has another game, and it’s a good distraction. Tom Carter isn’t present, and his absence concerns me. I want to call Gavin to check in on him, but I also don’t want to be a nuisance. He needs to be with his family. He needs the time to regroup and reconnect with them just as much as he’ll need to build a relationship with Gee.
I explained to Gee where Gavin is and why he’ll miss the game. Gee understands, but he’s somber on the field. Holden is here, but he’s quiet as well. Being cousins gives them a new bond, but I don’t think it will change the boys’ friendship, and I don’t even know if Holden knows about his new cousin.
Holden’s older sister brought him to the game, and when the game finishes, I offer to take both boys for pizza. They brighten up a bit at the prospect. After a quick check-in with Karyn, Holden comes with us.
“My grandma is your grandma?” Holden clarifies, and I’m hoping that Karyn and Tom know the truth by now because Gee isn’t hiding it, and I’m won’t ask him to.
“Yes,” Gee confirms, glancing up at me.
“Does that make you my aunt?” Holden asks, and I nod.
“Aunt Britton.” I’m not technically part of the family as Gavin’s wife or anything, but Holden can call me Aunt to make things easier. Theo already does the same even though he’s technically my cousin’s son.
“That’s so cool,” Holden says, smiling over at Gee, and I’m relieved how easily a twelve-year-old can accept a famil
y change. Gee and he high-five, and that’s that. They move on to a discussion of their video game plans for the evening.
That night, I’m sitting in bed, trying to read, when a brief knock comes to the sliding glass door of my room. I quickly scramble out from under the summer blanket and rush to the door, knowing who it is before looking behind the curtain. As I slide open the door, a sigh of relief rushes out, but it’s immediately filled with concern.
“Is everything alright?”
Gavin steps into my room, looking lost and uncertain. He swipes a hand through his hair, a telltale sign he’s anxious. “I didn’t know where to go.”
“What happened?” I ask, taking his wrist and guiding him to sit on the edge of my bed.
“I’m supposed to be home for a shower and some sleep, but I can’t close my eyes.” He closes them for a second, but I know it’s only in pain. The ache of uncertainty. The fear of the inevitable.
Slipping an arm around him, I tug him to me, just holding him without speaking. My chin rests on his head as I pull him to my chest. My heart hammers while it also breaks for him.
“Brit,”—his voice cracks—“I just need you.”
“Whatever you want,” I tell him, and his head lifts. His eyes meet mine for only a second before his mouth crashes against my lips. Instantly, I’m on my back, and Gavin is over me, shoving up my sleep shirt, palm covering one breast. I groan against his mouth while his hand squeezes harder. His fingers come together and pinch the already hard nipple, tugging at it.
“Brit,” he moans as he moves to my jaw and his palm releases me, skimming down my middle, pausing to massage my belly. His child was in there. His child caused those marks on my skin. His fingers trace over them a second before dipping lower, slipping inside my underwear, and sliding into me. “God, I can’t stop thinking about you, wanting you.”
“We need to be quiet,” I warn him as Gee is only on the other side of the bathroom. Gavin nods before trapping my mouth with his again.
