My Sexiest Mistake

by Kristin Hardy

  She took a deep breath and began again. “Okay, the truth is that I’ve always wanted to write, ever since I was little. I’ve been working toward doing it for a living for the last four years, so I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t plan to quit if the contract comes through. Or when.”

  “When?”

  She gave him a mischievous smile. “When. You were very effective at providing inspiration.”

  “I’m happy I could be of service,” he said dryly. The barkeep set their beers in front of them. “Does Barry know you might quit?” Cade asked, tossing down a bill.

  Ryan shook her head. “No one at Beckman Markham knows. The last thing I wanted to do was take a chance on losing one job before I was sure of the other. Until we…spent time together, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to finish the first book in the series, and the rest of the contract hinges on whether the editor likes it.” She lifted her beer and took a long drink, trying to ignore a quick spurt of uneasiness. Cade’s expression remained calm, though, giving her the courage to continue. “The thing is, all this came about before I got involved in the eTrain project. I know you and Patrick signed a contract based on a package deal, and I don’t want to compromise that.”

  Cade shrugged and took a drink of his beer. “Beckman Markham is the one on the contract, not you. You’re under no legal obligation.”

  She raised her chin. “I make good on my commitments.”

  He studied her for a long moment. “I meant what I said earlier. You’re a good writer. If it’s what you love and you have a chance to do it full-time, you’d be a fool to let the chance go by. Go for it. We’ll work it out some way.”

  Whatever reaction she’d expected from him, it hadn’t been that. Fairness, maybe. Not support. Ryan swallowed. “Why are you being so nice about this?”

  He centered his glass on the beer mat then looked at her soberly. “Don’t forget, I know what it’s like to work at a job that feels wrong. It eats away at you, you know that. Your heart’s in your writing.” He traced a finger down her cheek. “That’s what you should be doing.”

  His voice was husky and compelling, drawing her in. “I’ll consult or do whatever needs doing to build the eTrain product, you have my word.”

  “We’ll be fine, especially if you agree to make sure we have the notes and material we need to work off of. In the meantime, you have my word that I won’t say anything about it. Is it a deal?”

  Ryan stared at him in surprise and gratitude. “Absolutely.” She put out her hand to shake, but he raised it to brush his lips over her knuckles. A little shudder of heat raced up her arm.

  “Why did you do that?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know, it seemed appropriate. Why, would you rather I kissed you somewhere else?”

  She had a flash of herself standing at the window of the Copley Hotel, Cade on his knees in front of her. “Well, I—”

  “Hey, are you guys going to get out here, or should we order dinner on our own?” Leo asked from the bar’s arch-way.

  “We’re all set,” Cade said, taking her hand to walk her in to dinner.

  Helene leaned toward her as soon as she sat down. “Did I screw up in the cab?” she asked in an anxious undertone. “I wasn’t even thinking that it could be a problem for you, Ryan. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Helene, we talked about it.” She looked over at Cade and smiled. “Everything’s just fine.”

  THE REMAINS OF DINNER LAY scattered around them, and Ryan wasn’t sure her tongue would ever be the same. Fiery hot was a pallid descriptor for the blazing concoctions that had come out of the kitchen. And the company—the company had been warm and steady. Sitting around the table with Helene and Leo felt immensely cozy and natural. It wasn’t a date, Ryan reminded herself, but when Cade sent her a smoky glance, she felt the flutter in her stomach just the same.

  “Well, I’m going to step outside for a quick cigarette while we’re waiting to clear the tab,” Helene said, rising as the waiter carried off her credit card and a quietly efficient busboy began clearing their table.“You know those things are no good for you, doll,” Leo said. “How ’bout if I come outside and try to be a good influence.” He glanced at Cade and Ryan and winked. “You guys can keep yourselves entertained for a little while, can’t you?”

  Ryan turned to watch them go with a little sigh. “It’s like they’ve been together all their lives. Or in a previous life, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  She rolled her eyes then and flashed that quick, addictive smile that always got to him. The dim lighting of the restaurant added mystery to her eyes and shadows beneath her cheekbones. “They seem to suit each other,” Cade agreed. The way he was beginning to think she suited him, he thought.

  For the short term, anyway.

  “They do work, don’t they? I’m so happy for her. She’s been alone ever since I’ve known her.” She smiled again. “It’s so good to see her with someone. I hope it lasts for the long haul.”

  Cade finished the last of his water, then moved the glass around restlessly, watching the way the shadows fell on the soft curve of her neck. He knew how silky smooth the skin was there. “I don’t know. I’m not sure there is such a thing as the long haul.”

  Ryan propped her chin on her hand, studying him. “Why not? When a relationship is right, it lasts.”

  “Theoretically. But it seems like all I ever hear about are divorces. I’ve got one friend who’s happily married, but a whole string that are divorced. I bet it’s the same for you. Tell me one you know of that really works.”

  “My parents,” she said without missing a beat. “They’re like something out of a fairy tale. They fell in love at first sight, married after two weeks, and after thirty-six years they still take walks holding hands.”

  “So why aren’t you hooked up if it’s such a hot ticket?” His head tilted speculatively.

  Ryan flushed. “I could ask you the same question. Anyway, I’m a bad example. I told you before, guys don’t notice me.”

  “I don’t buy that one for a minute. I think if you wanted to be involved with someone, you’d be involved.” He picked up her hand and began rubbing his thumb idly over her fingertips.

  All the thoughts in her head scattered like a flock of startled birds. “What…do you mean? I’m open to being involved,” she managed.

  “Oh yeah?” He leaned forward. Too close, Ryan thought hazily. He was too close for her to think straight. “Then why is it that you spend all your time telling me hands off?” He kissed her fingertips and her body went liquid. “The only time you’ve let me touch you was at the beginning, when it was safe and controlled. When nothing could really happen.” His mouth brushed over her knuckles, his eyes riveted on hers. “I think a guy would have to be out of his mind not to want you. I don’t see all that many crazy guys walking around Boston. So I figure it must be your choice.” He drew closer to her, closer to her trembling lips. “So I have to ask myself, what does it take to get you to let go and just say yes. What does it take, Ryan,” he whispered hypnotically, leaning in to take her mouth.

  The chimes at the front door jingled as Helene and Leo came back in, laughing boisterously. “Hey you two,” Helene called, “We—oops. Looks like we came back in too soon, Leo.”

  Ryan jumped. “Oh, hi,” she said foolishly, her brain still mired in the heat from Cade’s mouth.

  “Well, it’s looking to me like you two could use some time alone,” Helene said, noticing Ryan’s flaming cheeks. She grabbed her credit card and signed the charge slip with a flourish. “It’s Cinderella time for all of us. Everybody out to the curb.”

  Helene hurried them out of the restaurant and before Ryan knew it, she and Cade were in a cab and waving goodbye. Cade leaned back against the seat and turned to watch Ryan. “Hyatt Midtown,” he said to the driver, without glancing away. His gaze on her was molten.

  Ryan watched Central Park flow past her windows, only as an excuse to look away from him. It
was too much, too much to feel. Then she felt his fingertips slide lightly along her jaw to the point of her chin, turning her to face him. His eyes were dark pools in the dim, shifting light of the cab. Streetlights strobed over his face, the contrast weirdly magnetic. She found herself leaning toward him without volition.

  “Why did you do that?” she asked.

  “I like to look at you,” he replied. And I want to taste you he thought.

  They reached the hotel sooner than she’d expected. Ryan stepped out almost as soon as the vehicle stopped, breathing in the night air to clear her mind while Cade paid the driver.

  Then Cade walked up behind her and took her arm to walk her into the hotel. She couldn’t stop the little shiver that ran through her. “All set,” he said. “Do you want to stop for a drink or go on up?” His question was weirdly intimate. Going upstairs to the rooms they shared, just as in another hotel at another time they had gone upstairs to make love.

  The suite suddenly seemed perilous, and yet she was weary of restaurants and bars. Besides, there was always her room. She could just say good-night, shut the door, and go to sleep. Liar, a voice in her head taunted her. If you go up there you know you’re going to do more than sleep.

  “Let’s go on up. We can have a drink there.” She walked to the elevators slightly ahead of him, utterly conscious of every motion of her body, of the swish of the miniskirt against her legs, and of Cade walking next to her.

  In the elevator, he slid his passkey into the slot, pushing the button for the concierge level. A slow, hot pulse of arousal ran through him. He wanted his hands in her hair, he wanted to feel her yielding body against him. The elevator carried them smoothly, silently upward to the top floor. When the doors opened, Cade gestured to Ryan to go first, resting his hand on the small of her back as she stepped through the door. They passed the empty concierge desk, the carpet muffling their steps as they headed down the hall.

  Cade opened the door into the dark living room of the suite. Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, Manhattan spread out in a jeweled panorama of light. Ryan caught her breath. “Oh, don’t turn the lights on, please. This is wonderful.”

  She crossed to the sliding glass doors and stepped out on the balcony, into the soft, balmy night air. The barest touch of a breeze brushed softly against her cheeks. And against her arms she felt the cool leaves from the planters, as she leaned on the railing and watched the slow-moving barges on the river. Then she heard Cade step behind her.

  He watched her for a moment, the moonlight glimmering on her hair. Then he moved just close enough to catch a hint of her scent. “Looks almost peaceful from up here, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s exquisite.” She turned to find his mouth disquietingly close. They had only to move a fraction to be touching. Ryan froze as the long beat of seconds passed.

  “The moonlight turns everything into magic.” Cade stepped over to gaze out across the city, then turned around to stare at her. She looked like a moon goddess, he thought, with her raven hair and pale skin. Her breasts rose and fell with her breath. He couldn’t help himself, he reached for her. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted to have my hands on you?” he asked softly. “I look at you and all I can think about is the Copley Hotel. I can’t get it out of my head, any of it. I remember exactly how it felt every time we touched.”

  His eyes were dark, his voice intense and compelling. Desire pulled at her, drawing her toward him until her palms were against his chest. For an instant, she held back, pushing herself away. Then she surrendered and slipped her arms around his neck. Her eyes closed and she fell into the kiss.

  His mouth was feverish and demanding, whirling her around though her back was pressed to the railing. Why had she been fighting this when it was everything she craved? One of his hands slid around to cup the nape of her neck, the other ran down the length of her back, molding her to him, and she plunged into all the sensations she’d tried so hard not to want. She moaned to feel the heat and the hardness of his body against her, to feel his arms pulling her tight, so tight. She felt like the desert after a rainstorm, all the desiccated parts of her pulsing with life and flowering at once. The slight coolness of the night breeze whisked around under her skirt. Then his hand was under the fabric, stroking the bare skin of her thighs, sliding over her lacy bikini bottoms.

  Desire throbbed through him as he felt her soft skin and the silky smoothness of the satin and lace. It wasn’t enough, he thought, driven to plunder. Her head fell back, her lips parted and he tasted her tempting, secret flavors. So sweet, so warm. Her mouth was alive under his, teasing a thousand nerve endings with the promise of more. It did nothing to sate him; the hunger only grew. Then he brushed his mouth across her cheek and down her neck, feasting on the delicate skin, inhaling her scent until it made him dizzy. It was amazing to feel her close again after waiting to touch her for so long. He could feel her fingers running through his hair, clutching his shoulders as his mouth moved lower, to the soft swell of her breasts.

  Ryan reeled, lost in the overpowering sensation. He opened the top of her sweater, then unsnapped the front of her bra to let her breasts tumble free. She gasped at the heat of his mouth on her, moaned as his tongue swirled and teased her, starting that slow, inexorable tightening in her belly. Dwelling on first one peak, then the other, he drove her higher and higher. His hands stroked the tender flesh, the roughness of his five o’clock shadow scraped against her. The contrast between the beard stubble and his mouth made her moan.

  She wanted to feel him against her, craved it, Ryan thought feverishly as she unbuttoned his shirt with shaking fingers. She pulled it apart and ran her palms up his smooth, hard chest. Then she sank against him, her breasts crushed into the heat of his skin.

  Cade groaned and fisted his hand in her hair, fastening his mouth on hers. He wanted her, he wanted her there and then. He needed to be a part of her, to bury himself deep inside of her until neither of them knew where one body started and the other left off. He sank down to the floor of the balcony, pulling her with him, and slid his hand under the edge of her lacy briefs to find her wet and ready. It brought him to the edge of control. Thinking only of tasting her, he reached over to pull them off.

  And suddenly light spilled onto one side of the balcony. They both jumped as a burst of music and voices floated across from the suite next door. “Wow, great place to have people over for drinks,” a woman’s nasally voice said. “It’s really romantic up here.”

  Or it was before you came along, Cade thought with a groan, rolling onto his back.

  Ryan sat up hastily, fastening her bra and sweater before he could reach her. She shook her head like she’d been doused with water. “I must be out of my mind,” she muttered, getting to her feet and heading toward the sliding glass doors.

  “They couldn’t see us.” Cade said mildly, following her inside.

  “What, are you kidding?” she asked, turning on a lamp. “Who cares about those people next door? This is New York. With my luck, someone was out there with a telephoto lens taking shots for the Internet that my mother will find by accident when she’s surfing the Web.”

  Before she knew what he was doing, Cade pulled her close for a quick kiss. “You’re cute when you’re provincial,” he whispered, releasing her before she could scratch, like a bad-tempered cat.

  She glowered at him. “Don’t even start with me.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who said leave the lights off.” He stepped toward her.

  Ryan backed up until she’d put the couch between them. “Oh no, you, keep your distance.” The man was lethal within a five-foot range. She was better off staying across the room from him. Hell, who was she trying to kid. Across the room wasn’t enough. Out of the building wouldn’t be enough.

  “Don’t start with that.” He shook his head. “You were into it as much as I was and you still are. Don’t even try to stand there and tell me you haven’t been thinking about this ever since we saw each other again.” He star
ted toward her, but she stepped nimbly to the other side of an end table.

  “Of course I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve been trying to ignore it, which, I might add, you’ve been making as difficult as possible.” She gave a huff of frustration at his unrepentant look. “All I’m trying to do is get some work done and not spend every moment thinking about sex.” That would have been a lot easier, of course, if he’d buttoned up his shirt, she thought, dragging her eyes up from the smooth, hard planes of his belly.

  “We’re already spending every moment thinking about sex,” he threw back at her. “I say the only thing that makes sense is to take our clothes off and make love with each other until we completely get it out of our systems.” He stepped toward her. “Want me to demonstrate?”

  She backed up a pace. “I don’t want to sleep with you just to scratch an itch,” she said hotly.

  “Honey, scratching an itch is how we got into this whole thing in the first place.”

  “That’s exactly my point,” she snapped. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed before we do anything stupid.”

  “And you know you’ll be thinking about it all night,” he shot back at her, heading for the minibar and a brandy that might help him sleep.

  “In your dreams, Douglas.”

  “No.” His smile fed the slow flame she couldn’t extinguish. “In yours.”

  IT DIDN’T HELP HER disposition the next morning that the man was right. She felt virtuous for having stuck to her principles, but she’d have felt better if she’d gotten some sleep. Convincing herself that playtime was over hadn’t been the same thing as convincing her body. The only small bit of satisfaction she gained was from hearing Cade’s bed creak as he tossed and turned also.

  She wasn’t about to tempt fate—or herself—by spending another night in the suite, Ryan thought, considering ways and means of getting home. Cade was up; she’d heard him moving about while she was showering and getting dressed. Now she took a deep breath and walked into the living room where the aroma of coffee beckoned to her.“Good morning,” he said, leaning against the kitchenette counter with mug in hand. “Sleep well?”