by Izzy Shows
"We can't do this. I can't do this," I said, though it was a struggle to get the words out. All I wanted to do was return to his arms, to feel his lips on mine again, but I knew I couldn't do that. If I went back to him now, I would never find the courage to walk away again.
And I had to walk away, even if it was the most painful thing I'd ever do.
"Of course we can," he said, a confused look on his face.
"No. No, we can't. You're a vampire, and I'm a blood mage, and this is wrong. Never mind anything else. It can't work."
"I don't care about any of that," he said, shaking his head. "I know I did, but I've changed my mind. It doesn't feel wrong; it feels more right than anything I've ever done in my life. I want you, Nina, and I'm not going to lose you again."
I closed my eyes, willing myself to have strength. It hurt so much to do this, but I knew it would hurt even more if I didn't.
"You already have, Grayson. You're engaged. Or mated, or whatever you want to call it."
"That doesn't matter."
"It does to me! Even if I was willing to ignore everything else, I'm not going to be second-best to anyone. I won't be your mistress. I can't."
"Nina, please." He took a step forward and captured my hand, his eyes pleading with me. "I could take care of you, give you a life of peace and happiness. We could be together. We could be happy. Why won't you let me give you that?"
I tugged my hand out of his and backed away.
"I can't." I shook my head, and to my horror, I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. "I can't do that. I won't."
He tried to protest. I'm sure he said something else, but I couldn't hear him over the sound of my heart pounding as I raced past him and out of the room.
29
Nina
My emotions threatened to consume me as I burst out of his room, my eyes brimming with unshed tears. It would take only two seconds to get to my room, but it felt like it was a thousand miles away. And somehow, that wasn't enough distance. I needed to get out of here, out of the castle.
I couldn't stay here, couldn't keep doing this, keep playing the thrall and the double agent and keeping up the lies. It hurt too much to be around Grayson, and I knew he wouldn't give up. He would never stop trying for me, and it was only a matter of time before he wore me down.
I wanted to be with him desperately. I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop my heart from breaking any more than I could stop it from beating.
And then someone shoved me against the wall. I looked around, disoriented, trying to bring the world into focus and make the tears that were blurring everything go away.
Where was I? I should have been going back to my room, but I didn't recognize the hall I was in.
Then I saw who was in front of me, and my heart plummeted.
Kati and Tomas.
"I really don't have time for this," I said, inching to the side. I needed to get away from them. There was something wrong here.
Danger! You're in danger! You have to get out of here!
I looked around for someone to help, but the corridor was empty. Everyone must still be down at the ball, or maybe turning in for the night. The sun would rise soon; the ball had taken up a large portion of the night.
Which begged the question, what was Tomas doing out here? I knew Kati was his thrall, but why would both of them be hanging around?
"I've been waiting to get you alone for quite a while now," Tomas snarled, taking a step toward me.
"What?"
"You've gotten away with a lot," Kati said. "I'm so sick of you getting everything I deserve. No matter what you do, everyone fawns all over you. Perfect little Nina. No more."
The eager look on Tomas' face and the hateful one on Kati's made my stomach churn.
They're going to hurt me.
I had to avoid this confrontation, because it was only going to end one of two ways: either Tomas was going to kill me, or I was going to kill him, and neither of those was a good option.
He lunged for me, wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed. Stars burst in front of my eyes as I clawed at his hands, gasping for air.
This was the most effective way to kill a blood mage, though I doubted he knew that. Stop the air flow, stop the mage--if we couldn't speak, we couldn't cast a spell. That was why we operated so well from a distance, why I always tried to keep my kills far away from me. I didn't want to risk them getting too close, didn't want to take the chance that they might get to me before I could kill them.
But all of that did me no good now. I needed to stop him. If only I could get a breath of air. But my vision was going dark, I was fighting for consciousness, and I was beginning to lose hope.
You're not just a blood mage! You're a hunter! Now, FIGHT!
It was as if I had somehow forgotten that this entire time--that I was more than just a blood mage. With the last of my energy, I brought my knee up hard to his groin and swung my fist twice as hard into his face, connecting with his cheekbone.
He howled and stumbled away from me. He clearly hadn't expected me to fight back.
"What the fuck? You never said she could fight!"
"She can't! She's just a thrall!"
I sucked in giant breaths of air, taking advantage of his momentary disorientation, knowing it was precious seconds I wouldn't get back. As soon as my vision cleared, I flew forward again, hitting and kicking him for everything I was worth.
He was damned strong, and he gave as good as he got, breaking my cheekbone and slamming a fist into my gut.
"I...don't...care what...you do, bitch. You're going to die."
I didn't waste time talking to him. He could say whatever he wanted. All I cared about was survival. He came at me again, and I launched myself into the air and flipped over backwards to put distance between us.
And then I began the chant. My lips flew quickly as I got the words out, bringing him down to the floor clutching his head as I destroyed the vessels in his brain over and over again, shredding them as quickly as he healed them. It was the only way to disable one of the supernatural, and it gave me the time I needed to get another chant out--the one that would desiccate him.
I changed the words of the chant, letting the spell come forth, and watched as his eyes bulged. Death was taking him, turning his blood to sludge so that his veins stood out from his skin, a sickening grayish color.
At last, he collapsed to the floor. Dead.
"You monster!" Kati shrieked. "You killed him! My poor Tomas! What am I going to do now?"
I backed away from her, the full impact of what had just happened hitting me. Kati had seen me use blood magic. She’d watched me kill someone. I was as good as dead now.
"You’re going to get what's coming to you now, bitch!" she snarled, and with that, she was gone, running away from me.
I stared down at my hands in horror, unable to move. I just killed a vampire out in the open, with a witness. The vampires were going to kill me now. I didn't have any hope of making it out of this alive.
That forced back into motion. I ran through the halls, finding my way at last back to my room, where I slammed the door and locked it quickly. I darted into my bedroom and stripped, then changed into my hunting gear. One sleeve was still ruined, but it would have to do.
Then, without so much as a thought, I was out the window and flying across the grounds, running full-out. I didn't have a second to waste. Kati was going to spread word of my crime, and I needed to be as far away as possible by the time the sun rose.
I didn't know where I was going, but I was gone. Conall wouldn't take me back--he hadn’t taken me in before, when I'd come to him after the vampires had found me out, and he certainly wouldn't take me now. I was on my own.
The streets. I have to survive on the streets.
I had always thought I wouldn't be able to do it, that the vampires would kill me on my first night. But I was going to have to try.
Because I would be damned if anyone was ever goi
ng to own me again.
30
Grayson
I was distracted as the Council came to order, sitting down in our assigned places. An emergency session had been called, which was highly irregular--we were all still in our formal attire from the ball.
It had only been an hour ago that Nina had left my rooms, and I had been trying to find her when the call went out. I hadn't wanted to answer, hadn't wanted to come, but I knew I couldn't refuse. How would it look if the King didn't show up for a Council meeting?
Damn my responsibilities. Every second that goes by is another second that Nina spends assuring herself that she made the right decision. I need to get to her and make her see reason.
It didn't make sense that she would spurn my offer. Why couldn't she see that we could be together forever? I had taken a mate, as the Council had demanded, and that put me in a position of greater power. They no longer had anything they could hold over my head. They couldn't demand anything of me now, and they couldn't stop me from doing whatever I wanted to do.
I could disband the entire Council if I saw fit, and I was tempted to do just that.
"Send the thrall in," Grimaldi said, sinking back in his chair. "We're ready for her now."
I didn't see why we were holding session for a thrall, but she had been making quite the scene, demanding that she be heard.
"Kati, thrall of Lord Tomas," the guard said as she entered.
I narrowed my eyes. Tomas had been up to no good for quite a while now. What was she doing here?
She walked in trembling from head to toe, her eyes hooded and frightened.
"What is it, thrall?" Isaiah spoke first, cutting to the core of the matter.
She darted her gaze from him to the others and back to him again.
"It's my lord. He's dead. Nina killed him," she whispered.
There was complete silence, and my heart froze. Nina had done what?
"I'm sorry. I must have misheard you," Grimaldi said, leaning forward. "Could you repeat yourself?"
Kati swiped at her eyes to clear the tears brimming there. "Nina, the King's thrall, killed my lord. We were preparing for bed when she came in through the window, dressed all in black. My lord tried to tell you that he'd seen her like that before, but...she started speaking a strange language, and my lord fell to his knees. He died almost instantly, and then she was gone. I don't think she even knew I was there. I was so scared, so horrified, I couldn't move or speak."
"Get out," I said immediately, without thinking. "Remove yourself."
She didn't hesitate. She scampered out of the room without another word. There was one thing that everyone understood--you did not question your King.
My heart was beating erratically in my chest, and my breath came in gasps. The Council had broken into an uproar, but I couldn't hear a word of it.
How could this happen?
It's just like I found her in that man's room before I knew what she was. She described it just like that. Nina is still hunting...
And then it all made sense. —Her messing with the Council papers, the information she'd reported that didn't quite ring true, and her lying about being enthralled--it was all because she was still working for the wolves. Still hunting.
She hadn't changed at all. She was still playing me.
You don't mean anything to me.
Hadn't she said as much? Hadn't she told me in no uncertain terms that she didn't care about me?
Gods, it hurt. It was as if someone had reached into my chest and yanked out my heart. How could she do this to me?
What sort of heartless monster was she that she could play with me like this? All I had wanted was to spend my life with her, and she'd been toying with me, playing me for a fool, this entire time.
"My King!"
Someone--I couldn't tell who--was demanding my attention, and I forced myself to focus.
"What?" I snapped, not caring to hide my emotions now.
"Nina must be brought in immediately. We have to handle this. Guards! Find the thrall!"
They didn't wait for me to give the order, didn't clear it with me first, and panic seized of me.
No, they can't. I need time. I have to...I need to process this, decide what to do. I can't handle this right now.
My thoughts flew wild in my mind, and anger and panic coursed through me in equal measures. The guard disappeared, and the Council was again in chaos. They were shouting to each other, uncaring for their own emotions even as I had been uncaring of mine.
I had to decide what to do, had to figure this out before they made their decision. What did I want done?
She hurt me. I can't think. I can't handle this pain.
It was all-encompassing. There was no word to describe what I felt in that moment, no way to give meaning to the hurt in my chest.
How could she do this to me?
"My lords." The guard had returned. His face was white with fear. "The thrall is missing. She's not in her rooms. She's not in the castle."
Gone. She was gone.
Why did that hurt more than her betrayal?
She left me.
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Also by Izzy Shows
The Codex Blair Series
Grave Mistake
Blood Hunt
The Fallen’s Crime
Dark Descent
Wild Game
Grim Fate
High Stakes
The Fallen Hunter
Ruled by Blood
Blood Captive: Origin
Blood Huntress
Blood Slave
Blood Exile
Space Mage
Provoked
Enslaved
About the Author
Izzy Shows writes urban fantasy novels for adults, and much more in her spare time. She’s also an avid LARPer and enjoys storytelling in all art forms. She can be a little cooky, and really enjoys talking about her works, writing in general, or all things fantasy. To learn more about her you can follow her on twitter or check out her website.
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