Tiger Moths

by Sandra Grice

  “And Ka… Kayla?”

  Johnny turned back and met Ben’s eyes. “Was she there, Ben? Did you see her?

  “Yes, she was there, and we talked for a little while.”

  “How is she doing? How did she look?”

  “Johnny, I’m not going to lie to you, man. When you guys broke it off a couple of years ago she was pretty devastated. She went through a really tough time, and she said there were times when she didn’t think she was going to make it. But she did, and she finally moved on.”

  Johnny swallowed hard and fought back tears. “You know I really loved her. That’s why we broke it off, because we really loved each other. That hurt, Ben, and it took a long time for me too.”

  “But you’ve moved on too? You have, right, Johnny? I mean look around you, man.”

  “Sure, there have been other women, but none of them were Kayla, you know. But I’ve had to let her go. So yeah, I have moved on, Big Ben.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Johnny, ’cause I got some tough news for you. I wasn’t sure how you would take this, but here goes. Kayla told me she is getting married next month. Some guy from Georgia; he is the football coach at some small college down there.”

  Johnny exhaled slowly. He had not been ready for this news, and surprised himself by his own reaction. A huge void he did not know existed nudged at his heart. He could not breathe, and he did not want to think about Kayla being with someone else. He momentarily thought about Willie, and how much he did not even want Willie to be licking someone else’s face, or peeing on their leg. But he knew they had done the best they could. And in the end, letting each other go was the ultimate demonstration of their love. It was for the best, but it did not ease his heart at all. He looked out the window and shook his head back and forth.

  “Johnny, man, I didn’t come here tonight to bring you down. Look where you are in your life. You are at the top, just like you always said you would be. Sky’s the limit for you now. I saw those people out there. They are crazy about you. And I hear your music on the radio all the time. Your stuff is really, really good. Everyone I know loves it. I just told you about Kayla because I knew you would want to know, and I didn’t want you finding out from some reporter asking you how you felt about it.”

  Johnny looked back at Big Ben. He smiled and gave him a good-natured wink. “It’s okay, big guy. Thank you for telling me. You are right; this is the best way for me to find out. This gives me time to deal with it privately, you know, before the press asks me about it for about a thousand times. I can get my publicist to work a news release for me. Maybe that will reduce the number of times I have to answer the question. You know, I realize they are just doing their jobs and all, but the press can be horribly brutal. I just can’t believe how insensitive they are to personal matters. I know I can’t change them though, so I have just learned to deal with them a little better.”

  Johnny looked away again and continued, “I don’t think people have any idea about how stressful fame is. I hate that it takes away part of my freedom, but it’s not going to stop me from being who I am. I miss Kayla a lot, still. But she knew my dream was too big for her. I wanted her to be in it, but it just consumes me at times and that was not fair to her. It was eating me up, and she could see that. She really is an incredible person.”

  “I know, Johnny, but there will be other girls. Just look at that crowd tonight, and I can only imagine what your fan mail is like. Hey, if you have any really hot ones you can toss them over to me. I’m still a single guy with a lot to offer.” Big Ben let out a good-natured laugh.

  “What do you have to offer, you big ox?” Johnny laughed.

  “You’re kidding, right? I got a lot. Just look at these guns.” Ben flexed his impressive biceps.

  Johnny looked at him, sincerity edging his voice. “Ben, you’re a super guy. And yes, you do have a lot to offer. Me, I’ve got a lot of girls around, but it’s going to be a long time before I’m serious again, if ever. There are just things I have to do, and I want to share them with someone, I really do. But I have to be fair and honest, and right now I just don’t have enough to give.”

  “One thing about you, Johnny; you are honest, almost to a fault. It’ll work out, man, for both of us; it will just take some time. It will happen when it happens.”

  “You’re right.” Johnny’s smile returned and he looked up into Big Ben’s face. “So what’s up with you?”

  “Not much, between construction jobs right now. Life is good though.”

  A glimmer of boyish delight flickered in Johnny’s eyes. “How ’bout you come work on my crew. Like you said, you’ve got the guns and I need some help. Our road show just keeps getting bigger, and we have a great time on the road. What do you say, big guy; are you in?”

  Big Ben did not even think about it. “Sounds fun; why not? I’ll just go get my gear and meet you in your next town. It’s Atlanta, right?”

  “That’s right, our next success is Atlanta, and our boy here is going to have them rocking there just like he did here. Isn’t that right, Johnny?”

  Big Ben turned and saw an unfamiliar figure climbing the bus steps. He glanced back at Johnny. Before Johnny could say anything the stranger spoke again.

  “I don’t believe we have met. I’m Jason Crownfield, Johnny’s agent. How’d you like the concert? It’s Ben, isn’t it?”

  Ben reached over and shook Jason’s outstretched hand. “Yes, it is Ben, and I liked the concert just fine. Johnny’s come a long way since his college days.”

  “And he is just going to keep getting better and better. So, Ben, what’s this talk about Atlanta?”

  Johnny stepped closer to Ben. “I just hired Ben as part of the crew; he is going to start working at the Atlanta show.”

  “Oh, I see. Johnny, I thought we talked about these off-the-cuff decisions. We have certain procedures. Remember?”

  “Relax, Jason. I’ve known Ben for years. We were almost teammates. He is like family. Believe me, we don’t need any background checks for this guy. He’s cool.”

  Big Ben looked irritated. Johnny could tell he did not like the way Jason was trying to run the show. He knew Big Ben well enough to know what he was thinking - that this show was Johnny’s and that Jason was just a jerk trying to make money.

  Big Ben looked from Johnny to Jason. “I’m ready to lay him out for you, Johnny; you just say the word. This is your dream, man. You know I ain’t going to let nobody steal your dream from you. Especially some low life like this guy.”

  Jason avoided looking at Big Ben. Instead he turned directly to Johnny. “Johnny, you pay me to look out for your own good. I know he is your friend. But you have to understand that fame does something not just to you, but to your friends. You might as well get ready, because now that you are a star, you are going to have old friends coming out of the woodwork. Some of them you will not even know, but they will claim to know you. And I know how good-natured you are. You will invite anyone in because you never see the bigger picture. You never see that some people are bad. They don’t care about you. They want to do you harm. They want to get something on you so they can extort money, or they just want to freeload.”

  Big Ben’s face grew fiery red; he could contain his anger no more. “That’s it; I ain’t a freeloader. Nobody ever called me a freeloader, and I’m not about to let some guy like you start now. I knew Johnny way before you did, you no- count bum. If anybody is out to manipulate Johnny, it’s you.”

  Big Ben’s body vibrated with emotion. He clenched his fist and moved his imposing body closer to Jason, who himself was a big man. Johnny’s small frame was comically squeezed in between the two would-be opponents. Both were ready to square off to stake their claim over him. Johnny knew he had to act fast to avert disaster.

  He threw his towel in the air to get their attention. “All right, you guys, this is crazy, and it is not the way I am going to spend this evening. Jason, you are my agent and I appreciate that you look after me. You d
o a good job, but you will not dictate to me who I hire for my crew. I have friends that I trust, and this business is not going to change that. I understand what you are saying and I know that not everyone who approaches me has good intentions, but this man is not one of them. I don’t care if you do a background check or not, because it does not matter to me if you find out he has a police record. Big Ben is my friend, and nothing will change that.”

  Big Ben began smiling. “Well Johnny, truth is you and I both have a police record. You remember the time we painted the Tennessee Tech locker room pink? I knew we never should have let Buck go in there drunk. The guy got us busted. We would have got away with it if the bozo had not made so much noise.”

  Johnny laughed. “Yea, that was the last time we let Buck in on our excursions.”

  “Very well, Johnny. As long as you know that I am always looking out for you,” Jason interjected.

  “I know you are and I do appreciate all that you do and have done for me. Look, Ben, you need to understand that Jason here is the one who first signed me. He gave me a chance when no one else would. He understands the industry and has been there the whole way, helping me navigate through all of this. I depend on him for good advice about all kinds of stuff, so I really trust him too. It would really help me out if you two could get along, because I need you both.”

  Jason cleared his throat. “Johnny is right. I never intended to imply that you were a freeloader. Welcome to the crew. Can we start over?”

  Big Ben was slow to respond to Jason’s overtures. But, for the good of the team, he finally relented. “Apology accepted. If you are the one that gave Johnny a chance, you can’t be all bad. I’m looking forward to being on the crew.”

  “All right, then!” Johnny pumped his fist in the air. “Jason, I know you have some business to take care of, so I’ll get with you later. Thanks, man.”

  Jason shook his head and headed to the door. “Let me know if you need anything,” he said, and pushed quickly through the door.

  “As for you, Big Ben, help yourself to a beer in the fridge. I’m going to get a quick shower, and then we can go out and grab a bite to eat. Cool?”

  “Cool with me, Johnny. You know you are still pretty tough for a little guy.”

  “Football was good preparation for this job and this life. I still take a lot of hard hits, some below the belt. But you know what? I actually found something that I love more than playing football, and the really good news is that this time I have the natural gifts for it. I love what I do.”

  “No, the really good news is that you don’t have big linemen out to cream you anymore. Seriously, Johnny, I’m really happy for you. And I’ll be one of your best crew members. That’s a fact, dude.”

  “Right, Big Ben. I’ve seen what a slacker you are on wind sprints.”

  “But you’ve also seen me in the weight room.”

  “Good point. Dinner is on me!”

  ISLAND MIRACLE

  GUAM– COURT DAY

  Dale awoke early the next morning with her stomach in knots. She had slept well, just not for long. Up at five, she had already showered and donned her neatly creased, blue dress uniform. Now she stood in front of the full-length mirror examining every detail of her perfectly tailored class “A” blues. Satisfied, she finished brushing her newly trimmed hair and drew in a deep breath. Everything was in place; now for the most important part of her morning: her prayer.

  “Thank You for the assurance that Your grace is sufficient. I am only Your vessel; please, Father, guide my heart and my mind today. May Your will be done. Please let Steven feel Your love today. He’s just a boy, just a scared innocent boy. And let Your love overcome all evil. Thank You for Your grace and wisdom. Thank You for the assurance that You will never leave nor forsake Your children. In Jesus’ most precious and holy name I pray, Amen.”

  Glancing at the clock, she decided she had just enough time to call home. She missed her parents and just needed to hear their voice. She dialed the numbers quickly and waited for the delayed ring.

  “Hi Dad, how’s it going?”

  “Like a lazy cat on a sunny day after dinner. We’re all just fat and happy around here. How’s my girl?”

  “I’m good. Just on the way to court. It’s that case I told you about with the young boy.”

  “Oh that’s right. That is today. The time change always throws me off. Sweetheart, just do your best and know that your mom and I will be praying for you. And we are praying for the boy and his family too. The Lord will provide. Your mom would tell you that too, but she just left to get her hair fixed.”

  “Oh yes, mom and her hair.” She laughed at the brief relief, and then continued. “Thanks Dad. I love you both.”

  “We love you too. Be good.”

  “You know I will. Talk to you soon.”

  The conversation was quick, but it provided her the encouragement she needed. Her dad never failed her, and she knew her heavenly Father never would either.

  She drove quickly to the courthouse and retrieved her briefcase from the front seat of her Guam Bomb. She went into the courtroom and laid all of her materials out on the prosecutor’s table. Her heart raced, but she gathered herself quickly.

  “Ready?” Captain Ruby Cox joined her at the counsel table.

  Captain Cox was younger than Dale, just learning the ropes. Ruby was good for her experience level, and would handle all the procedural pieces of the trial. She had been helpful when assisting in all of the interviews, but they still had nothing.

  “Ruby, we have to be ready. I’m still praying for a miracle.”

  “Me too, Dale. Me too. I saw Steven’s aunt in the hall. She’s not doing well. She’s a nervous wreck; looks like she hasn’t slept in a month. I can’t imagine what it has been like for her.”

  “Me either. That woman has had a lot on her for sure. What about Steven? How is he?”

  “I didn’t see him; he had gone to get something to drink. I hope he is doing better than Becky.”

  “Morning, ladies. How are we today?”

  Defense counsel Tom Redmon smiled brightly. His condescending attitude was palpable and nauseating. He winked at Dale and showed Airman Phillips his seat. He glanced back over to Dale, patted his briefcase, and gave Dale a “thumbs up” signal. His taunting made her soul sick.

  Every fiber in Dale wanted to walk over and knock that smirk off of Redmon’s face, and then lay into his client with a sledge hammer. She had never felt such rage. She did not like what was happening to her, and prayed for composure.

  She felt Ruby tap her arm. “Dale, don’t let him get to you. Like you told me, justice will prevail. In the end, evil will face the consequences.”

  Dale nodded in agreement. “Thanks, Ruby; you’re right. Thank you for reminding me that we have to believe that. I just pray the end is sooner, rather than later, for Airman Phillips and his cocky representation.”

  Dale pulled her thoughts together and directed her focus on the task at hand. She knew that this case was in the hands of God and that gave her peace. She pulled her thick binder from her briefcase and organized her paperwork. This would not be easy.

  “Dale!”

  She turned and saw Aunt Becky looking like she was ready to keel over at any minute. She was shaking and all the blood had drained from her face. Bags and dark circles had formed under her eyes, and her cheeks were sunken from weight loss. She looked like the walking dead.

  My gosh, look what evil has done to this poor woman.

  “Becky, what is it?” Dale grabbed her arm and walked her to a chair in the back of the courtroom. She wanted to ensure they were out of defense counsel’s hearing. Sitting her down, she asked Ruby to get some water. She patted Becky lightly on the back to calm her, and looked directly into her eyes.

  “It’s going to be all right, Becky. Now, just try to relax and breathe. Take your time, and tell me what is wrong.”

  Becky inhaled and exhaled, then took a sip of water. Her eyes moistene
d, but Dale’s presence was having a calming effect. “It’s Steven; I just don’t think he can do this. He is out in the car with the doors locked and his head covered. He is scared to death.”

  This was not good. In fact, from the prosecutor’s perspective, it could not get much worse. But Dale did not want to panic Becky any more. She put both hands on Becky’s shoulders and squared her around. With clarity and determination she took control. “Try not to worry. I will go talk with him. He has every right to feel like this. But your nephew is not a coward, and he will make it through this. Ruby, you stay here with Becky. I’ll be back before we start, and if not, go ahead with the prelim without me.”

  When Dale reached the car she found exactly what Becky had described. She tapped gently on the window and waited. Steven remained hidden under a sheet.

  “Steven, it’s me, Captain Grayson. I know this is hard for you. Can you pull that cover off and let me see you? I want to see how you are doing. I care about you.”

  Steven’s muffled voice came through the sheet. “How do I know you care about me? I thought Matt cared, and then look what he did to me! You don’t care, no one does. Why should I ever believe anything any of you ever tells me? Just leave me alone!”

  The cover never moved, but Dale’s heart did. How could anyone ever do this to a child? That monster in there has ruined this boy’s life. God, please, help this child. Remind him how much he is loved by You.

  “Steven, you have every right to doubt the motives of people after what you have been through. But know this in your heart, son: Jesus loves you so much. And you can always count on that love. No matter what happens, He will always be there for you. No one can ever take that away from you. What Matt did to you was so wrong that he must be punished. We have to make it so that he never hurts anyone else like he hurt you. Steven, you have to be brave, braver than you have ever been before. There are not very many people who have enough courage to stand up in court and face the attacker. So if you just can’t do it, I understand, but I think you can do it. I think you can, because God does not give us a heart of fear or timidity, but a heart of courage to face fear and evil through the strength of His love. He gives you enough courage to stand up to this guy, to stare him down, and tell him that this is it.”