Here/Now

by D. D. Lorenzo

  “If you guys don’t have anything to add,” Carter concluded, “I think the pizza’s calling my name.”

  As they adjourned, Cody followed behind them waiting for the promised crust. They were talking about sports and hunting when they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Carter shrugged and looked at them, puzzled. He wasn’t expecting anyone else.

  He was met with warm eyes and a beautiful smile when he opened the door.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by,” Aimee said shyly.

  Momentarily dumbstruck, he moved to the side so she could enter. “No, no,” he stammered. I don’t mind at all.”

  She walked past him and noticed his guests. Smiling at the men, she turned back to Carter. “I can see you’re busy. I just stopped by to give you this.” She held out a plastic container with a handle. “I was in a baking mood and I think I overdid it. I hope you like homemade pound cake. It’s my grandmother’s recipe.”

  She took a few backward steps toward the door as she turned to Marc and Fal. “I’m sorry for the interruption, gentlemen.”

  When she reached for the handle, Marcus interrupted. “You didn’t interrupt anything, sweetheart. Just a bunch of guys shooting the shit.” He held up his half-eaten food from the plate. “We were just having pizza. Why don’t you stay?”

  She looked at Carter.

  He placed his hand lightly on the low part of her back. “Yeah, Aim. Why don’t you stay? There’s plenty,” he said, inviting her back in.

  She was hesitant. “Okay, if you’re sure there’s enough.”

  Falcon pulled out a chair and Marc put a slice on her plate. “You wanna beer sweetheart?” he asked as he got up to refill the men.

  “Sure,” she answered, placing a napkin across her lap.

  She waited for a moment for Carter to introduce her. When he didn’t she took the matter into her own hands.

  “Hi. I’m Aimee,” she said, extending her hand.

  “Marc,” he reached across the table to shake it. Her delicate hand disappeared within his large one.

  Falcon returned from the kitchen and handed a bottle to her.

  “Falcon—Fal for short.” He wiped his hand on the side of his jeans before offering it to her.

  Cody had come from her bed and curled in a ball at Aimee’s feet. The men exchanged looks. .

  “It looks like Cody’s found a new friend,” Marc noticed.

  “Yep. She must really like you. She doesn’t do that for just anyone,” Falcon chimed in.

  Aimee turned to Carter, who hadn’t spoken much. “Since I didn’t hear from you, I ventured out on my own and found some nice places to eat. I would have waited for you, but since you didn’t call I assumed you were busy.”

  “About that, Aim…,” he fumbled, “I’m sorry. I’ve really been busy.”

  Both men shot him an inquiring look, which he ignored.

  “Me too,” she answered. “I lose track of time when I’m renovating. I’ll start on something at nine in the morning, and the next thing I know, it’s nine at night! The days all run together somehow once you’re engrossed in a project,” she laughed.

  Marcus cocked an inquisitive brow, dismissing Carter completely. “So, sweetheart. How is it that you know Carter? I don’t believe he’s ever mentioned you.”

  She immediately felt all eyes on her. Politely placing a hand over her mouth, she swallowed the pizza and the lump in her throat. “We’ve been friends for a few years now,” she answered. “I met him through his brother. We’re coworkers. I happened to be here during the funeral, so I helped out with the luncheon. We met again when his brother was in an accident. We got to know each other a little better then.”

  Now it was Falcon’s turn to throw Carter a look of disapproval. “Hmm. Wonder why he didn’t mention it.”

  Carter glared at them before turning toward Aimee. “Don’t pay attention to them. They’re like old women, getting all up in my business.”

  Aimee laughed at the three of them. “Honestly, guys. There’s nothing to tell,” she assured them.

  Deciding to put the matter to rest, they changed the topic. Carter knew better though. They only let the matter drop to make her more comfortable. Once she was gone they would grill him for information.

  When the conversation became a little more relaxed with everyday topics like sports and weather, Marc asked her if she was in Deep Creek for vacation.

  “I’m a resident, actually,” she answered, “and I’m paying my dues by renovating an old house boat.”

  “So you, like, live on the lake?” he asked.

  “No. It’s hard to describe. It really is a boat that someone took out of the water, put on a lot, and turned into their home. If you drive along Clark Lohr Road you’ll be able to see it now that all the overgrowth is gone.”

  “It sounds kind of cool. I’d like to stop by to see it sometime,” Falcon said.

  “Of course!” she exclaimed. “I love company and I haven’t had much since moving up here, I mean, except for the time Carter stopped over, but nobody since then. You’re welcome anytime. You too, Marc.” She looked at Carter and playfully grinned. “Any friend of Carter’s is a friend of mine.”

  Although she was delighted at the prospect of widening her social circle, Carter was moderately fuming. He could tell his friends were flirting with her. In fact, they were just shy of hitting on her—and he didn’t like it.

  “Be careful, Aimee,” he warned. “They may look like nice guys, but they’re Neanderthals.”

  While she bent to give Cody a remnant of her pizza, Carter sat slightly behind her, giving both men daggered glares for the remainder of the conversation.

  Once she’d fed, petted, and kissed Cody on the head, Aimee began to clear the mess. Carter took the plates from her.

  “You don’t have to do that, Aim. I can take care of it.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t be silly. It’s just a few plates.” She turned to the other men. “If you guys would like some cake, I can put on a pot of coffee. I think I remember where everything is.”

  They looked at each other, disregarding Carter.

  “Sounds great, Aimee, but don’t go through any trouble for us,” Falcon said.

  “No trouble at all,” she called over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen.

  Once he heard water running in the kitchen, Carter confronted them both. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he seethed.

  They looked at him innocently.

  “We’re not doing anything, buddy. Just being nice to your friend,” Marc laughed.

  “Yeah. The one you never told us about… just being friendly,” Falcon repeated.

  They continued joking, further irritating Carter, and before long Aimee carried in a tray with the cake and four mugs of coffee. Marcus and Falcon dug in, while Carter played with the food.

  Falcon inhaled a piece. “Mmmmm. This tastes great! Beautiful and a good cook? Where’s Carter been hiding you?”

  She grinned. “I’m not sure about the good cook part, but I like to bake,” she said accepting the compliment.

  Marcus stared at Aimee for a moment, to the point where she self-consciously dabbed at the corners of her mouth.

  “What? Do I have cake on my face?” she asked, looking at him.

  “Not at all, sweetheart,” he answered, “but have we met before? You look really familiar.”

  “Yeah, you do,” Falcon chimed in.

  She blushed. “I don’t believe we’ve met anywhere other than, maybe, the funeral, if you were there.”

  Both nodded. Marc still looked puzzled. “No. It was somewhere else,” he said.

  Carter, now more than slightly irritated, interjected. “Didn’t you hear her say she’s a friend of my brother’s? She’s a model, idiot. Her pictures are plastered everywhere.”

  “Oh, hell! That’s it!” Marcus answered, slapping his knee enthusiastically. “I’ve seen you on TV! In a car commercial. First I noticed the c
ar, but then I noticed you! That ad kicks ass!” He turned to Falcon. “Don’t you remember? When we were watching the football game? You said how hot she was?”

  “Yeah, I do remember! I said she was much hotter than the dark- haired girl who used to be in that commercial.” He looked at Aimee. “That’s really you?”

  She shrugged innocently. “It’s me.”

  Both men looked at Carter.

  “No wonder you were keeping her hidden. Didn’t want any competition, huh?” Marc playfully accused.

  “That is—IF you’re single. Are you single, sweetheart?” Falcon added.

  “I am,” she answered.

  The situation was becoming uncomfortable. She could see Carter was disturbed by their behavior. It seemed like a good time to leave. She stood and grabbed her shoulder bag. “It was nice meeting you guys. I hope you liked the cake.”

  “The cake was awesome!” Falcon said.

  “Sweetie, you can come bake for me anytime,” Marcus winked at her suggestively.

  Stunned at Marc’s boldness, she smiled uncomfortably as she made her way toward the door. Carter told the guys he would be right back and walked her to her car.

  “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I showed up without calling and I could tell it got awkward in there.”

  “It’s not your fault. They’re being morons,” he said regretfully.

  “Still…” she looked into his eyes and he felt it again. He felt it whenever she was near. It was that pull toward her, like they were somehow connected.

  She didn’t finish the thought. Standing on her toes she lightly brushed his cheek with her lips. They left behind a warm tingle. “I promise. I’ll call next time.”

  “We’ll get together soon,” he said as he hugged her.

  “Right! I’ve heard that before!” she laughed as he opened the car door.

  “Be careful driving home.” He closed her door and waited until she drove off.

  Returning to the house, he closed the door behind him and took a deep breath. He blasted them. “What the hell was that?”

  Both Marcus and Falcon looked at him innocently.

  “Wasn’t nothing brother,” Marcus answered. “We were just being friendly.”

  Falcon joined in the fun and gave Carter a sly look.

  “Yeah? Well back off, assholes! She’s a nice girl!” he ordered.

  “Yep. ‘Nice’ would be one way to describe her,” Falcon commented. He moved his hands in a pattern to replicate a woman’s shapely curves.

  His temper flaring, Carter wanted to punch his smug face. “I said back off,” he warned.

  “Sure, sure…” they laughed. He was grinding his teeth like a snarling dog, which made them laugh harder. He didn’t like them discussing her, and he didn’t find their behavior amusing.

  Not one bit.

  It was something he never thought he’d need, not from his baby brother, but here he was, phone and pride in hand.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Dec. You got a minute?” he asked.

  It took much on Carter’s part to ask his brother for advice, after all he used to be everyone’s ‘go to’ person. Now he felt he had no other option, like he was backed into a corner. Of course, the only person responsible for it was himself.

  Declan heard an undertone of helplessness. “Actually, I’ve got a few minutes,” he answered. “What’s up?”

  There was no easy way to say it. “It’s Aimee.”

  Declan paused. “What do you mean ‘it’s Aimee’? Did you run into her and act like an ass again?”

  Carter laughed. “It would be easier if it were something like that.”

  “Then what?” Declan asked, his tone wary.

  “I’d like to take her out, but I’m a little out of practice,” he confessed.

  Declan thought the idea was great, but had reservations. “Why?” he asked.

  “Oh, I don’t know!” Carter answered sarcastically. “She’s beautiful, sweet, talented, a good cook…”

  “She’s not a good cook,” Declan interjected.

  “Bullshit! She brought a cake over here that was gone in a day, but that’s beside the point,” he countered.

  “Good baker; not so good cook, but okay, okay…” Declan laughed. “So what are your reservations? Spit it out!”

  “Because I know I’m not—but I feel like I am—cheating on Lacey,” he confessed. There! It’s finally out!

  Declan heard the turmoil in his brother’s voice. “You’re not cheating on Lacey. I know you loved her, but she’s been gone for awhile. Don’t you think she’d want you to move on?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered. “It just feels… weird, you know?”

  For a moment it was quiet on both ends. They could hear each other breathing. Then Declan spoke up.

  “I can’t give you an answer,” he advised, “but I can tell you what I think. Lacey was a person who loved life. She always seemed to live it—really live it. I think she was bubblier than any person I’ve ever known—about everything. She was always involved doing something and she made people feel good about themselves. You were married to her, for God’s sake! She wanted everybody to be happy! Why don’t you think she’d want you to be?”

  Carter hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

  Declan heard it all in his brother’s tone; the unasked questions, the unspoken grief, and the unaddressed turmoil. He wasn’t sure what to say. How do you convince someone that it’s okay to be a little selfish and grab some happiness when it comes your way? He wasn’t a shrink, but after listening and watching his brother deal with it, he saw grief as a very different monster. Survivors were its victim. It sucked joy, happiness, and fun from your life until there was nothing left but a shell. It lived in the dark, and it wanted you to live there too. He was afraid his brother could go down that slippery slope—and he wasn’t quite sure how to stop him, so he reached out to the only person he knew who could.

  Aria.

  They both suspected Carter was depressed and grieving. Concerned, they discussed how they could help long before this phone call, but because he had never reached out to them they felt their hands were tied. This was the opening they’d hoped for. It was now or never.

  “Carter?” she softly said.

  What was his brother thinking? “Hi Aria. Where’d Declan go?” he asked.

  “If it’s okay, I wanted to talk to you for a minute. Don’t be mad at him. I asked for the phone. I could hear you two because I was standing next to him. Would you mind if I put in my two cents?” she asked.

  Resigned at this point, he expected no answers. “Sure, sweetie. Go ahead.”

  “First, I have a question,” she said.

  Great… just great.

  “Would you hold someone under water, knowing they couldn’t breathe?”

  “Depends on how bad they pissed me off,” he laughed, not knowing where she was going with this.

  “Oh my God. Shut up,” she laughed. “Now seriously, if you knew a person was good, really good, and did all the right things, but they had one disadvantage, they couldn’t swim, would you hold their head under water?”

  “No,” he answered.

  “Good!” she paused. “Do you think Lacey would?”

  “Hell no,” he answered again.

  “Yeah. So I have to ask you, why are you trying to drown yourself?”

  “I know how to swim,” he said dismissively.

  “But you don’t know how to grieve,” she said emphatically. “Listen to me for just a minute. Life doesn’t come with a book of instructions and I’m not going to bore you with advice. I’m sure as hell not going to give you a lecture and I’m not even going to ask you questions about Aimee. I’m just going to say something you already know; Lacey was a ‘grab life by the balls’ kind of girl. She didn’t just like life, she loooooved it. If she thought you were locking her memory away in an ivory tower, along with your heart, honestly, I believe she’d kick your ass.” She paused for a m
oment. “I know you’re not used to me talking to you like this, but if we’re talking about the same woman, then I think she would want you to move on and be happy.”

  He knew she was right. Lacey would never begrudge happiness to anyone—and she would kick his ass if she saw him like this.

  “I believe you, but I can’t get over the feeling I’m leaving her behind—and I don’t want to forget her,” he said.

  “Then don’t,” she said. “You would hurt her memory more by closing yourself off. She would want you to live your life—not keep mourning her death.”

  Somehow, her last comment made it click. Aria made him remember he was still living. He had shut himself off because he was no longer the person he used to be, and he didn’t think being himself was good enough to move on. It was time to leave the pity party he’d been giving himself.

  “Thanks. I think I get it,” he said.

  “No problem,” she laughed. “Now give the girl a call!”

  A week had gone by since his conversation with Declan and Aria and now he found himself standing at Aimee’s front door. He thought it would have been harder, pushing himself to go on a date, but he was pleasantly surprised to find he felt good about it. He was really looking forward to spending an evening with her. It had been so long since he’d gone out with a woman other than his wife that he second- guessed a few of his choices, relying instead on the more traditional route. Wearing a suit, bringing flowers, and picking a nice restaurant would never go out of style—and now he was here, knocking on her door. Before he had another minute to think, she answered.

  His eyes widened and “wow” was the only word he could think of. She wore a skin hugging, light blue dress which accentuated her curves in the best possible way. Her long blonde hair cascaded in soft curls around her face and down her back. When she looked at him, he thought the color of her eyes were warmer than he noticed, and the gold specks in them sparkled. She was so sexy and beautiful he felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He swallowed hard.