Perceived Love (A Finally Ever After Story)

by Viki Lyn

  Nate sat next to William and ran his hand down the strong back. “Don’t play the martyr with me. Come on, face me.”

  William rolled over. Pain showed in his eyes, and it took all of Nate’s control not to touch him again.

  “You never asked me why I’m here,” William said.

  “Okay. Why are you here?”

  William frowned. “I came to tell you to leave me alone.”

  “Then you wasted a trip. I wasn’t coming back.”

  William’s forehead wrinkled. “No?”

  For a second, Nate thought he’d heard disappointment in William’s voice. “I said what I had to say.” Nate picked up the damp towel he’d placed on the couch. “This should ease the pain. Go on, close your eyes.”

  William adjusted a throw pillow under his neck, crossed his arms, and closed his eyes. Nate shuddered at the image William presented—a pale corpse. He hoped William was here because a part of him believed in the premonition even though he’d never admit it. But Nate didn’t care if William believed him or not. He just wanted William safe.

  William sighed as Nate placed the towel behind his neck.

  “Ah, yeah, feels good.”

  Nate’s lust flared at that sexy voice. It always got to him and had gotten him in trouble on numerous occasions. When William wanted to fuck, he’d use that voice, and Nate would be on his hands and knees. Nate should be ashamed that he would still bend over for this guy, but it went beyond fucking. Even for William, who didn’t often express his emotions, he loved the aftermath of sex as much as Nate. They’d had their best conversations in bed.

  William opened his eyes and fumbled with the knot of his tie. “Help me with this, will you? It feels like a damn noose.”

  William collected ties by the dozen. He probably had hundreds all lined up in the closet, sorted by color and pattern. Nate had three ties total. His smile deepened when he thought how they were so different in style but how much they had connected mentally and physically. He was the psychic one, but William could read him better than any man alive. Or maybe it was because he had allowed William into his heart.

  Nate leaned in and slowly unknotted the tie. His knuckles brushed against William’s Adam’s apple, and the vein in his neck pulsed. He never thought he’d be this close to William again. It was intoxicating. There were plenty of places Nate would like to brush against. He purposely avoided eye contact; one look, and he’d lose his control.

  Nate smiled. “Nice. I especially like the brown mark.” He poked at the stain in the center of an embossed diamond shape. William must be out of sorts, because he never had a spot on him.

  “I spilled my coffee this morning.”

  Nate chuckled at William’s obvious annoyance. Nate liked to think that he had caused William to be off kilter. If so, then William cared for him more than…whoa. No way was Nate going down that thorny path. It would only hurt to think they could rekindle their relationship. It had burned down to the last cinder. There was nothing left to fan into flames.

  Nate pulled on the tie, the silk swishing against the stiff collar as it slid from William’s neck. Nate sucked in his bottom lip as he unbuttoned William’s shirt at the collar. He folded aside the edges, letting his hand rest for a moment on the bare skin that peeked through the vee. Musk emanated from William’s warm skin, and Nate couldn’t resist skimming the exposed chest hair. Nate could feel his cock reacting at being so close to a man he cared about.

  William propped himself by the elbows and intently gazed at Nate.

  Nate’s face burned at being observed, and he abruptly stood, but William grabbed his hand, pulling him back down.

  “Don’t go.”

  William held on. Tears stung the back of Nate’s eyes, but he refused to cry in front of his ex. He found his voice, barely. “Okay, but don’t talk. You need to rest.” He wasn’t ready for true confessions. Nate needed William to not say anything that he would take the wrong way.

  William complied. He repositioned on the couch, closed his eyes again, and soon was softly snoring, still gripping Nate’s hand.

  Nate listened to the outside world, feeling strangely detached. Constant chatter from pedestrians filtered through the blasting horns on the street. Despite all the activity San Francisco offered, he lived a quiet life. Some people would say lonely, but he had a full career, with several accolades and successes, and he had Lulu. He had proven he was good at his job, but it had cost him a love he’d never be able to replace. Too many empty years stretched between them. Yet, he didn’t let go of William’s hand.

  “Nate?” William removed the towel and sat up, his grasp on Nate slipping. William rubbed the back of his neck, his face unreadable. “How long have I been out?”

  “Not that long. Here, drink this.” Nate handed him the water, practically forcing it in William’s hand. “You drink too much coffee. You’re probably dehydrated.”

  “Hey, it’s a liquid.”

  “And you’re the scientist? Just drink it.”

  William smiled and unscrewed the top as he gulped down a third of the bottle. His bobbing Adam’s apple fascinated Nate, and he wanted to kiss it.

  “Are you here because of what I’ve told you?” Nate studied William closely, blocking off the urge to “read” him.

  “I’m not sure why I came.”

  “Well, that’s honest, at least.”

  “I don’t believe in that nonsense. You know that. It’s you I care about.” William violently screwed on the bottle top, ready to toss it. “I shouldn’t have come.”

  Nate grabbed the bottle and held William by the shoulder. “But you’re here.” He refused to let William go without some closure. No matter the outcome.

  William ran his hand through his hair. His gaze met Nate’s head on. “London was my ticket to getting over you. Thousands of miles between us should have done the trick. I even took a lover. It lasted until I moved back home. And I’m a real shit because I don’t miss him.” William laughed roughly. “Now look at me. We meet again, and I spill coffee all over myself, screw up my spreadsheets…I can’t think straight. I can’t leave it alone, or you.”

  It took all of Nate’s will to remain unaffected by William’s admittance. It didn’t change the fact that William didn’t respect his work. “Nothing’s changed between us. You still don’t believe in me.”

  “I may hate what you do but damn it, I loved you.” William grasped Nate and kissed him—hard and demanding. He didn’t let up, his taste overwhelming Nate, their tongues swirling in unison, and lust gripped Nate.

  Nate groaned in his mouth, unable to pull back. Far from resisting, he pushed into William and practically knocked him back down on the couch. He toppled over him, and William grabbed Nate’s arms to keep from falling. Full length on top of William, Nate rubbed their erections together.

  “Nate!”

  Desire ignited at the sound of his name. William’s mouth was warm and sexy as it sucked the air from Nate. It didn’t take long for their tongues to mesh. In so many ways, it was as if they never had parted.

  Nate sought out William’s zipper. Once he’d maneuvered to get to his objective, he unzipped the pants, slipping his hand inside William’s briefs.

  William gasped as Nate grasped his cock. “Oh God.”

  Stroking William brought back a rush of memories of how much he’d loved sex between them. William’s eyes were clear and bright as they conveyed what Nate believed—this would be for old time’s sake. That would have to be okay, because Nate didn’t want to be reasonable or sane.

  Nate stood and removed William’s clothes and shoes, leaving on just the shirt. Unbuttoning William’s shirt, he feasted on William’s defined chest. “You still work out.”

  William’s skin flushed. “Yeah, well, it relieves the stress.”

  “Yeah, right. Stress.” Nate smiled knowing William too well. William prided himself on being buff, but Nate didn’t mind; he’d benefit from all those reps pulled in the gym.

&nb
sp; “Now who has too many clothes on? Don’t I get to look?” William sat up and tugged at Nate’s jeans.

  Nate quickly stripped down to his boxers. He hesitated, looping his fingers around the waistband.

  William grinned. “Those need to go.”

  William’s smile melted Nate’s doubts, and he slipped them off fast, before he could come to his senses. Nate climbed back on William and pushed aside the dress shirt to get to his nipples, knowing how much William liked to be sucked. His skimmed his hand across William’s chest as he kept his gaze on William’s face to gauge his reaction. Nate tweaked a nub and smiled as William’s eyes widened. Taking his time, Nate sucked and licked, knowing soon, he’d have the man panting.

  William stroked Nate’s cheek, his other hand massaging the curve of his ass. Oh God, yeah. William’s touch on his skin left him trembling, and Nate wanted so much more. He wanted William inside of him. He had been the last man to fuck Nate in the ass and the only man Nate ever wanted in that way. His breath hitched as the reality of the situation came to light. He couldn’t do this for old time’s sake. It’d hurt too much—gut him until he bled to death.

  Nate scrambled off William and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to curb the onslaught of feelings for his ex-lover.

  “Nate?”

  “I still love you,” he said, shocked he’d admitted it out loud.

  William abruptly sat up.

  Nate felt exposed in so many ways. He bit into his lower lip and looked down at his bare feet.

  William laid his hand on Nate’s shoulder. “It’s the memories we can’t let go.”

  William had said we, so that meant he felt the same way. Nate turned to look at William. “How do you feel about me?”

  William’s eyes darted up then back. “I don’t know. I’m conflicted.”

  “About what?”

  “Scared that I won’t be able to let you go, but knowing I need to.”

  “So we agree this is the last time for us. That we need to go our separate ways.”

  “I can’t change how I feel about your choice of career.”

  Nate nodded, his throat raw. William was right, because his attitude toward Nate’s career hadn’t changed.

  “It’s okay if you want to stop.” William stroked Nate’s nape. “You feel nice like this. You always did.”

  Nate reached a decision and then for his jeans. He shook out his wallet and fished out a condom, tossing it to William. No going back now. It would hurt afterwards, but he wanted William too much to turn away.

  “I’m clean, but best to be safe.”

  A slow smile grew on William’s face. “You’re sure? It’s been a while for me, too. I’ve been tested since my last time. I’m negative.”

  “That was awkward.” Nate nervously chuckled, glad that was out of the way. He didn’t want to picture William fucking another guy, or worse, sick.

  “Ah…” William tilted his head. “Lube? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Oh, fuck. Forgot. That’s how long it’s been.” Luckily, he had a sample in his desk. He rattled through the paper clips, staples, and junk to find the tube crammed in the back of the drawer.

  Nate dropped the lube in his hand. “There, now we can christen the couch.”

  “You mean you haven’t done the dirty deed here?”

  “I keep it strictly professional.”

  “Then I’m glad I’m special.”

  “Boy, are you.”

  Nate didn’t want to imagine what would happen if his landlord found out he’d fucked in the office. What they were about to do wasn’t exactly professional behavior. But for William, Nate would break the rules. He kissed William and pushed aside his doubts.

  Chapter Five

  WILLIAM’S HANDS TREMBLED. He was nervous. More than anything, he wanted to please Nate, show him that he still had it. That Nate had been a fool to walk out on what they had shared together.

  God! He was an ass. It wasn’t Nate’s fault that their relationship had ended. No matter how he did the math, there was only one reason. It was his stubborn pride that had kept them apart. He’d never wanted someone as much as he wanted Nate, and that was a problem he couldn’t solve with a formula.

  William stood and motioned for Nate to lie down. “Scoot down so your legs are off the couch.” William liked being face to face, where he had access to Nate’s mouth, could read his lover’s reactions and see the visual pleasure on his face.

  Nate grinned as he slid down and let his legs dangle off the edge. “Like this?”

  Heat seared across William’s groin at Nate exposed. “Yeah, just like that.”

  Dimples bordered Nate’s expressive mouth, causing William’s heart to skip. He bent over and kissed one dimple, then the other. Taking in the beautiful face, his chest tightened. “I’ve missed you.”

  Nate caressed William’s cheek. “Will…”

  Shoving a cushion beneath Nate’s lower back, William ducked as Nate hooked his right foot over William’s left shoulder, exposing his tight hole. Nate grabbed the lube and squeezed a line down the length of his own cock and began jerking off. Blood rushed to William’s cock at the combined sight.

  “You like what you see?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Heat burned in William’s veins at the sight of Nate getting off. What a vision. Nate on his back, one leg lifted high, his balls splaying flat, stroking his dick. William pulled Nate forward by his hips, wanting to touch Nate.

  Nate groaned and readjusted his leg over William’s shoulder, bending his other leg outward. Nate had always been flexible, and William loved taking advantage where he could sink in deep.

  William pressed his knee on the couch to get better leverage. He licked the inside of Nate’s calf and, with his fingers, traced a path from Nate’s navel to his pelvis. Then he reversed direction, back and forth, getting reacquainted with Nate’s body.

  Nate gasped. “You’re a tease.”

  “I remembered how much you like this.” William caressed the inside of Nate’s thigh, stroking the skin.

  “Oh God, yeah…”

  “I love touching you.”

  Next, he focused on Nate’s balls, exposed and fair game for William’s teasing. He palmed the sac and massaged upward, then down. Keeping it up, William was driving Nate crazy, his groans getting louder and more erratic.

  Nate gasped. “Now!”

  William slipped on the condom and lubed his fingers. William’s skin buzzed with anticipation as he inserted a finger into Nate. The ring of muscle constricted, and he eased out slightly, then back in. Massaging the muscle, he kept up the motion until Nate relaxed. Then he pushed in a second finger and worked the muscle until Nate’s passage gave.

  Nate’s eyes fluttered half-closed. “God, put it in already.”

  William pulled out his fingers and breached Nate’s ass with easy, slow thrusts. Tightness and heat clutched his dick as he penetrated deeper. “Oh God, you feel amazing.”

  William paused and looked down at Nate. His heart tripped as love swelled in his chest. This went beyond fucking, beyond “once for old time’s sake.” William had lost track of how many times he’d wished for this. How many times when he’d fuck his London boyfriend and fantasized Nate under him. The reality was much more satisfying than his fantasies. What he’d had with Nate had been special and could never be duplicated. William had tried in London, and look where it had gotten him: back in Nate’s arms.

  Nate arched his back, growling. “Why did you stop?”

  William grinned at the murderous glare in Nate’s eyes. “What a nasty look.”

  Nate tweaked William’s nipple. “Don’t stop!”

  “Ouch,” he laughed.

  “You’re going too easy on me. Fuck that.”

  So much for gentle; he would listen to his lover. William struck fast, rocking forward so the tip of his cock hit Nate’s prostate. Nate’s eyes widened, and his groans excited William, passion exploding inside of him at Nate’s obvious pleasure. He
pumped fast, furious, without control. And Nate met him thrust for thrust, stroking his cock with the same wicked pace.

  Nate’s fierce grunts fueled William’s excitement. He was burning up, his cock swallowed by tightness and heat. He kept up the fast rhythm, lost in the sound of his slapping balls and the smells of sweat and musk.

  Oh God. He was so close.

  He shuddered from holding back. Then Nate shouted, his back arching, as if struck by lightning, his beautiful face contorted in sheer ecstasy. William couldn’t hold on any longer and let go. Sensation after sensation rolled over William as he stroked Nate’s hip. His orgasm peaked and ebbed, and he slumped over Nate, spent.

  Nate massaged William’s back. “That was…fuck…I’m not sure what that was.”

  William ran his hand through his hair. “Incredible comes to mind.”

  William held onto Nate, not wanting to let go. The warmth generated from their bodies pressed together held him captive. He listened as their heartbeats slowed into their regular rhythm. He could stay this way forever and be content.

  Nate’s cell phone rang, shocking the silence. Nate frowned at the disturbance. “Shit, I forgot to turn it off. It’s a text message.”

  William slid his soft cock out of Nate, holding the condom in place. He rolled it off and tied it off. “Where should I—?”

  “Floor. I’ll get it later.”

  It finally dawned on William that they had just fucked in Nate’s office with the door unlocked. It had been ages since he had done something that risky. A part of him was appalled at taking that chance, but secretly, he liked the idea someone spying on them, seeing Nate, naked, impaled and panting.

  “Ah, you didn’t lock the door, did you?”

  Nate shook his head. “Forgot.”

  William held back his smile, trying to look serious, but knowing Nate didn’t fall for it. “A client could have walked in.”

  Nate scratched his head. “Yeah, but they didn’t.” He untangled from William and tossed him the towel. Then he picked up his phone from the desk and read the message. “I’ll be damned. That was Mike. A regular client of mine. I forgot all about him. He’d texted he was on his way and was going to be late.” Nate glanced at the clock.