Dare to Surrender

by Jeanne St. James

  Once she got a hang of the rhythm, she relaxed even more, letting the sensations of having the two men at once rush over her. Though intimidating, it felt amazing at the same time. Grant curled over her as he began to thrust a little faster.

  He pressed his mouth to her ear. “So tight, honey. So fucking tight.” He slipped his hand around the front of her throat and put slight pressure to it.

  “Grant,” Eli’s warned in a low tone.

  “She’s fine, baby.”

  She met Eli’s gaze. “I’m fine. I like it.” Then she dropped her head even more to kiss him. Eli made a noise at the back of his throat and she captured it in her mouth, her tongue brushing with his. He slipped his fingers into her hair and held her to him as he deepened the kiss.

  As Grant’s fingers tightened on her neck, he grunted as he became more frenzied in his movements.

  Eli broke their kiss. “Grant.”

  “Baby... I’m not going to... last... Sorry.” With another grunt, Grant surged forward then stilled, his breathing harsh and rapid against her skin. Then he laid a line of kisses along her spine as he raised himself back up. “Sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to lose it like that... You’re just... Damn. I can’t wait to try this again.”

  I can’t wait to try this again.

  Which, once again, sounded like they planned on continuing whatever they had together.

  Grant slipped carefully from her. “I’m going to go get rid of this. I’ll be right back.”

  As soon as the bathroom door closed, Eli flipped the two of them over, so he was on top. “Now, we take care of you, ma chérie.”

  He began by moving slowly, the movements of his hips in tune with hers. With each stroke he hit the spot that made her cry out and get even wetter. Dropping his head, he sucked one of her peaked nipples into his mouth, his teeth scraping her skin.

  When he ground his pelvis against her clit, she squirmed and wrapped her legs around his hips, digging her heels into the back of his thighs.

  They moved as one, pushing, pulling, Eli driving himself harder against her.

  From a distance, she heard Grant come out from the bathroom, but her attention was quickly pulled back to Eli as he thrust over and over with a not-so-gentle, not-so-slow force that made her body jolt.

  She encouraged him by raking her nails over his shoulders and down his back, then sinking them into his powerful ass cheeks as they flexed with his movements.

  “Ma chérie, I cannot get enough of you. Not nearly enough.”

  “Me neither,” she whispered, holding on even tighter.

  She threw her head back and cried out as a climax ripped through her. Eli jackknifed his hips once more and ground against her as he came, his cock throbbing deep inside her, his breathing ragged as he shoved his face against her neck.

  As Liv turned her head to invite Grant to join them in the afterglow, her heart stopped.

  He was gone.

  Chapter 16

  Grant thought he was okay with it all, that he was fine with sharing Liv. And he was okay with sharing her. But maybe not so much when it came to sharing his husband.

  Coming out of the bathroom to see Eli on top of Liv as they had sex without him... In one way it excited him, in another it scared the shit out of him. But it hit him hard that he could possibly lose his husband. Eli would no longer be his alone, that this wasn’t a little “experiment” in their relationship. That Eli wanted to be with this woman.

  The possibility of Liv becoming a permanent part of their life might mean that Eli and Liv would continue to have sex at times without Grant.

  Eli had said they needed to lay down ground rules and working out those details would be absolutely necessary.

  As Grant stood at the railing of the back deck, looking out over the vast fields of well-manicured sod, he sucked in air through his nostrils in an attempt to settle his confusion.

  The glass slider opened behind him and he didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

  He knew.

  When Grant left the bedroom in a hurry, he only took the time to snag his jeans off the floor on his way out. Now, dark arms circled his bare waist and Eli pulled him against his chest. Normally, their skin to skin contact would be soothing. Right now, it wasn’t.

  “Mon amour,” Eli murmured, his mouth against Grant’s ear. “Je suis désolé si j'ai fait quelque chose de mal.”

  “You don’t need to be sorry, Elliott. You’ve done nothing wrong. I... It... Fuck.” Grant raked his fingers through his hair. “I came out of the bathroom, saw you two and it just... it scared me.”

  “Je suis désolé.”

  I’m sorry.

  “I am, too. I’m sorry I reacted like that. I think the reality of the two of you in that bed together, alone, without me... just...” He shook his head, then turned in Eli’s arms to face him. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  Eli remained quiet. Grant knew his husband well enough to know the man was disappointed.

  “You finished. I thought you wouldn’t mind us finishing, mon amour. I should’ve waited until you joined us again. My mistake.”

  “When I first stepped out of the bathroom, I saw you two caught up in each other and it excited me, I have to admit. But then, the jealousy and the fear crept in, Eli. I’m sorry, but it did. Watching the two of you have sex—”

  “Faire l'amour.”

  His gaze shot to Eli’s and his mouth opened. “What?”

  “Grant...”

  “You don’t make love to a stranger, Eli. You have sex with a stranger.”

  “Too harsh, mon cher mari. She’s not a stranger.”

  Grant closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm his out-of-control thoughts. “Right. You’re right. She’s not a stranger. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I want you to be completely honest with your feelings. I need you to be completely honest. If this is going to work—”

  “This,” Grant repeated, cutting him off. “Do you love her, Elliott?” His chest became tight, and his heart began to pound when Eli didn’t answer him at first. “Elliott...”

  “I don’t know,” Eli said softly. “I tried not to think about it because I know it’s so soon. Can it be possible to love someone we’ve only just met not two weeks ago?”

  “We fell in love almost immediately,” Grant reminded him.

  “We did. You’re right.”

  “It wasn’t instant, but it was quick. We knew, Eli. We knew.”

  “Yes, we did.”

  “So, for you, is it the same with her as it was with me? Do you know?” Grant laid his palm over Eli’s heart, not missing that it pounded furiously. “Do you know in here?”

  Eli covered Grant’s hand with his own. “You know I’d never want to hurt you. I never want anyone or anything to come between us. My vow to you was to be with you forever. Don’t ever think anything differently. You’re my husband and I’ll love you forever.”

  Grant waited for the “but.”

  Eli’s fingers tightened over his, and his hand along Grant’s back moved slowly up and down his bare skin.

  Eli finally continued, “But I do think that love is there. It’s blooming and becoming stronger by the day. However, I will heed your wishes. I won’t risk anything and everything we have. I want you to love her, too. I want her to love us. I want us to become as one and don’t want her to leave us once she’s safe. I don’t want the three of us to be over when that happens. But if you say no, that isn’t what you want, I will listen. If you simply need more time, I’ll give you that, just say the word.”

  Grant pulled his hand from under Eli’s and cupped his jaw. “I love you, Elliott. You’re my husband. I’ve loved you like no one else before you and if anything happened to you, I’d never find anyone to love just as completely. You’re my everything. You said we needed to figure out what we want before we even approach Liv. But... I’m not sure of what that is. Do I like having sex with Liv? Yes. I more than like it. Do I love the
three of us having sex? Absolutely. But, again, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that one day you might love her more. Is that a reasonable fear? I think so.”

  “I understand your fear, but, mon amour, my heart’s big enough for both of you. And just like having children, do you love one more than the other? Or both just as much?”

  “Some parents love one of their kids more than the others. They just don’t admit it,” Grant said, a smile curling his lips.

  Eli chuckled. “You’re probably right. But I also want to say that your heart,” Eli pressed his index finger over Grant’s heart, “is big enough for both Olivia and me, also. Again, if you’ll feel better that it’s only the three of us together when we make love, then I have no problem with that. At least in the beginning, until you’re more comfortable.”

  “What if I’m never comfortable with it just being you and her when I’m not around?”

  “Then you aren’t, and we’ll respect your wishes.”

  “You’re speaking for her now? Do you even know what she wants?”

  Eli shook his head. “No, I don’t. So this whole conversation may be moot.”

  Grant brushed his thumb over Eli’s full, dark lips and Eli kissed it. “I’ll tell you what, let’s get through this weekend. I think I want to watch the two of you together again—”

  Eli’s brows shot up. “Without you?”

  “Well, I can join in afterward, but I’d like to sit back and watch and figure out what I’m feeling when I do see the two of you together alone.”

  “Okay, and what else?”

  “And then I’ll see how I feel after Sunday, then once we know this mess is all cleaned up, we can approach Liv and see how she feels. You never know, she may be sick of us after this long weekend locked up in this house together.”

  Eli chuckled again. “Very true, mon amour. Dealing with two very bossy males may very well make her run for the hills.”

  “Or a faraway sod field.”

  “Hmm. We might have to explore the farm somewhat this weekend.”

  “I actually heard that they have a St. Andrews Cross in the basement.”

  Eli cocked an eyebrow toward him. “Really.”

  Grant smiled. “Really. I doubt they’d mind if we knocked the dust off the thing this weekend.”

  “Are you volunteering to be strapped to it?”

  Grant laughed. “Not me, no.” Then he sobered quickly when he wondered if Liv waited in bed for them confused by his quick departure. “We should get back to Liv.”

  Eli dropped his lips to his and kissed him briefly. “Yes, we should.”

  “I have an idea... How about we go back in there and you sit in the corner of the bedroom and watch Liv and me? This way we figure out if being one on one with her is okay with both of us.”

  Eli pressed his lips to Grant’s ear again, his voice low and husky. “That’s a wicked idea, mon amour. I think I’ll enjoy watching the two of you together. I’ll struggle to sit in a seat and do nothing.”

  “Who said you had to do nothing?”

  Eli straightened and laughed. “Very true.”

  “And how hot will that be if we watch you pleasuring yourself as we have sex.”

  “That could be very hot.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?”

  “Lead the way, mon amour. Olivia’s probably waiting for us impatiently. We shouldn’t keep her waiting any longer.”

  Liv sat in the large bed, chewing on her bottom lip. Eli had rushed out after Grant as soon as they noticed he was gone. And now she wondered what was going on between the two. But she wanted to give them some privacy. They were married, for crissake, she didn’t need to be in the middle of their business.

  Dread gnawed at her insides. She wondered if Grant had considered her and Eli having sex without him as cheating. Even if it was only for a few minutes and they were in no way hiding it? They were only finishing what they’d started.

  She didn’t want to be the reason for turmoil in their relationship. It was bad enough that the whole Dean mess was causing a hassle for all of them.

  She would never want to be considered the “other woman,” because she wasn’t like that. She would never knowingly do something so hurtful to someone. And she appreciated everything that they’d done for her so far. Especially when, prior to moving into the bedroom, Eli and Grant had given her an update on the Dean situation...

  “There’s some good news, the DA doesn’t appear to be on the take. So we slipped the information to her anonymously and also leaked it to a female detective in the precinct where Peggy lived. We can only hope that the women have a serious dislike of Dean like most women do.”

  “So now what?” she’d asked Eli.

  His answer had been simply, “We wait.”

  “This waiting’s killing me,” she’d replied.

  Eli had shaken his head. “No, what will kill you is Dean. Waiting is just inconvenient, ma chérie.”

  He was right.

  But now as she waited for them to return, or at least Eli, she wondered if she should go back to the room she’d been staying in since arriving at the farm. Maybe it would be best to give the two men alone time to work out whatever was going on with Grant.

  Or maybe they’d decide to leave the farm and head back home. Grant might no longer want to be with her. Or, possibly, no longer wanted Eli to be with her.

  Suddenly her chest tightened and her stomach churned.

  If that was true...

  Never in her life had she needed anyone. She was used to being by herself, doing things on her own. But now...

  Damn. Things had changed. The thought of not spending another minute, another second with both Eli and Grant, of not seeing their faces, not hearing their voices, of not touching them, was...

  Devastating.

  So, she had to make whatever was wrong with Grant right. She needed to make him see that she wouldn’t destroy their marriage or hinder the men’s relationship.

  That was never the intent.

  She didn’t even want either one of them more than the other. She looked at Eli and Grant as two halves of a whole. She...

  Holy shit.

  She loved them equally.

  Her mind spun as she dug deep to see if that was true, if that was what she really felt.

  How could it be love?

  Impossible.

  The only other person she’d ever loved was her brother. And even that had been screwed up after she left him so long ago.

  So maybe she didn’t understand how she felt. Maybe what she thought was love was actually more like lust.

  That had to be it.

  Because it was impossible to fall in love with one man in such a short amount of time, but two?

  Never.

  As Eli came back into the bedroom, his face not revealing anything, her heart skipped a beat. Then a rush of relief went through her as Grant followed closely behind.

  Eli didn’t approach the bed, but Grant did. He sat on the edge of the mattress wearing only a pair of jeans, the top button unfastened. She let her gaze roam over his muscular, but lean chest, the light dusting of hair over his pecs, his broad shoulders, then she raised her gaze to his face and waited.

  “I’m sorry, Liv.”

  Her heart flipped due to panic once more. He was about to give her bad news. They were over. He couldn’t take the three of them being together. He didn’t want her touching his husband...

  “I shouldn’t have left. I just needed some air and to figure out what I was feeling.”

  He wasn’t the only one. “I understand. While you both were gone I did a little thinking, too.”

  A noise came from where Eli sat in the chair tucked into a corner of the room. She wondered why he remained so far away. Was it possible that he didn’t agree with what Grant wanted? Which was to possibly break things off?

  “And what did you come up with?” Grant asked softly.

  “Maybe I should hear what you have to say first.”
<
br />   Grant shook his head. “I know what Eli wants. I need to hear what you want of out this. Out of us.”

  “Maybe not the same as you,” she began but hesitated when he frowned, studying her face.

  “So you don’t want to take this any further?” he asked softly.

  Liv’s gaze hit his, then slid to Eli’s, whose face remained a blank mask. “What?”

  Grant reached out and grabbed her hands, sandwiching them between his warm, much larger ones. “Honey, what do you want from us?”

  “Grant,” came the low warning from the corner of the room.

  His head twisted toward Eli and they shared a look. “I know I’m not doing this in the order you wanted, baby, but I need to hear it from her.”

  “What do you need to hear from me?” she asked. Because at this point, she was willing to tell him almost anything to keep them in her life.

  Which surprised the hell out of her.

  “I guess I need to hear that you want us both. That you don’t just want to be with Eli.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Did it seem like I did? If so, I’m sorry.”

  Grant shook his head and squeezed her fingers reassuringly. “No, you never gave any indication of that. Please, just humor me because I need to hear it.”

  Liv moved onto her knees and closer to Grant. When he released her hands, she reached out to trace her fingers over his cheek. She let them fall to his chest, flattening out her palms. “Of course, I want you, Grant. Just as much as Eli. I want both of you. I was just thinking how the two of you are two halves of a whole. And I’m the lucky one to get the complete package. That’s...”

  “What?” he prodded.

  “That’s as long as you two want me, also. I mean, I know you want me sexually, but the rest...”

  “The rest?” Eli asked from across the room.

  Shit. She didn’t know how to broach the subject.

  She swept a hand between them all. “The rest. More than sex.”

  “A relationship?”

  “Yes,” she answered softly.

  “Commitment?”

  “Yes, that too.”

  “Love?”

  “Possibly. If you two could open your hearts to me, I think I would like that.”