Hand-Me-Down Love

by Ransom, Jennifer

  “I think we need to get one of those tables,” she said. “Meredith said she was coming and this booth isn’t big enough.”

  Sean couldn’t believe his good luck. Meredith was coming to the bar and he was going to talk to her. He would make sure he talked to her if it was the last thing he ever did.

  The group moved to a round table that could seat at least eight, maybe ten, people. Sean kept his eye on the door while pretending to listen to what his co-workers were talking about. But he didn’t give a damn what they were talking about. He just wanted to see Meredith.

  “So, let’s keep the bitching down when she gets here,” Carol said. What was she talking about, Sean wondered. Bitching was what they did! It was the whole reason to meet at the bar. I guess they don’t want to scare her off, he thought. It was her first week, after all. He certainly didn’t want to scare her off. He wanted her to keep working at the bank so he could see her every single day.

  It seemed like an eternity went by, but Meredith did finally walk into the bar. Sean saw her step into the room, her blond hair hanging past her shoulders, a leather purse on her arm. Mark waved his arm at her and when she saw him she walked over to the table.

  “I’m sorry to get here so late,” she said, sitting down next to Mark. Dammit, he wanted her to sit next to him! But she could hardly do that since Carol was on one side of him and Janice on the other. Dammit! He was going to have to figure it out because Meredith was not leaving until he could talk to her.

  The waiter came over and Meredith ordered a margarita. “I guess I’m celebrating,” she said shyly. “My first week on the job.” When her drink came they all raised their glasses to Meredith’s first week. “To many more weeks,” Sean said. God, how stupid could he be.

  The evening took on a life of its own. Carol called her husband and said she’d be out late with her “people.” Janice didn’t have to call anyone and ordered another martini. Sean ordered appetizers of stuffed mushrooms and artichoke and spinach dip. He’d keep ordering appetizers if he had to, to keep the evening alive. Meanwhile, Mark was talking intently to Meredith and it was starting to piss Sean off.

  A band started setting up in the far end of the bar and Sean hoped the music would be decent. He recognized the band as one who played mostly cover songs ranging from the seventies through the present day, and it would be all right. They did a good job. He just needed for Mark to stop talking to Meredith.

  “I think this is my cue to leave,” Carol said. “If I get into this band, I’ll be getting home at two a.m. and my husband won’t be happy with that.” She got her purse and said, “See y’all Monday morning bright and early.”

  The band kicked off the evening with John Mellencamp’s “Cherry Bomb,” and Mark asked Meredith to dance. Sean was going to kill him. No, he was going to fire him! That’s how pissed he was. But Sean asked Janice to dance instead of killing Mark. The couples moved around the floor. Sean thought the dance would never end. He wanted to cut in on Mark, but didn’t know if people still did that and didn’t want to be that obvious. Besides, Janice was a sweet girl and didn’t deserve to be dumped like that on the dance floor.

  The song and their dancing became excruciating to Sean. Would it ever end? He had to find a way to dance with Meredith if it killed him. Finally, the song ended and they all sat back down. Sean ordered baskets of fried shrimp and oysters for everyone. This evening was not going to end without him talking to Meredith.

  While they waited on the food, the plaintive sounds of the Stones’ “Wild Horses” started from the band. Sean had already danced with Janice and he wasn’t letting his chance go by again. He saw Mark start to stand up, but he stood up first and asked Meredith to dance.

  “I thought we’d never get here,” she said as they started to dance. She laughed impishly, knowingly. As much as he had tried to play it cool, Sean realized he was completely transparent to Meredith. Probably to Janice and Mark too. He laughed. She laughed. They laughed as they danced close to each other. He never wanted to let her go.

  They danced every dance after that, and Mark and Janice joined them on the dance floor. But Sean never let Meredith dance with Mark again that night and Mark kept his distance. He knew not to go up against Sean. The band played until midnight and then the bar started its closing ritual. Sean didn’t want the night with Meredith to end.

  “Would you like to go to Bobby’s for a nightcap and some food?” he asked her on their last dance. He didn’t want Mark and Janice to be in on that. He needed alone time with Meredith.

  “You know, that sounds fun,” she said. “Let’s do it. We don’t have to work tomorrow, so why not?”

  Bobby’s stayed open very late, sometimes until four a.m. Sean led Meredith to a table and the waiter took their order. A few minutes later he brought martinis to the table and Sean ordered steaks a la Bobby with baked potato.

  “I can’t believe we’re eating again,” Meredith said as she took a sip of her martini.

  “I know,” Sean said. “But it’s been hours since we ate. Do you mind?”

  “Hell, no,” Meredith said emphatically. “I don’t mind at all. I’m actually hungry again.”

  Bobby’s was a completely different place from the rollicking bar they had been in all night. A lone black musician sat at a piano in one corner of the bar, playing jazz. Sometimes, he sang old classics, but mostly he played cool and romantic jazz. It was perfect, Sean thought.

  As they ate their steaks, Sean told Meredith about his upbringing in Atlanta, how he had walked a section of the Appalachian Trail after high school, how he had attended the University of Alabama business school majoring in finance.

  “My dad really wanted me to do that, but I really wanted to be a forest ranger or something outdoors. But he convinced me I’d never make a living with that, so I majored in finance and started working for South Bay Bank after I graduated.”

  Meredith told him that she had majored in creative writing at the University of South Alabama in Mobile. “Both of my parents graduated from there,” she said. “That’s where they met so it was natural for me to go there. I had no idea what to do with my degree when I got out. That’s why I started working at the bank. My father said I needed to work while I figured my life out.” She laughed a small laugh.

  “Sounds like you’re close to your father,” Sean said. “Does he live in Mobile?”

  “No, he lives in Bay Point. Do you know where that is?”

  “Isn’t it across the bridge on the bay?” Sean said. “I think I went there one day for some kind of festival.

  “That must have been the Oak Point Festival. It’s the town’s biggest event.”

  “Yeah, that was it. The Oak Point Festival.”

  “So, is that where you’re from?” Sean asked, wanting to know everything about Meredith.

  “Yes, that’s where I’m from. My mother’s family goes back generations in Oak Point. When she and my father got married, they decided to live there even though my father worked in Mobile. He commutes every day.”

  ”What does he do?” Sean asked, taking a sip of his martini.

  “He’s the president of a bank,” Meredith said, taking a sip of her drink.

  “Oh yeah?” Sean said. “Which bank is that?”

  “South Bay Bank,” she said, giving him another impish look.

  Sean spewed his drink and some of it hit Meredith. She picked up her napkin to wipe herself off, laughing the whole time.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. God, he was so stupid.

  “What is your last name?” he asked already knowing the answer.

  “Anderson,” she said sweetly.

  Sean just looked at her for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. He had already spit his drink on her. How much worse could this get?

  “I’m sorry, Sean,” Meredith said. “I thought you knew. But then I realized that you didn’t know, so I played along.”

  “No,” Sean said slowly. “I didn’t know that.”

&n
bsp; “Well, I hope it doesn’t make any difference to you,” Meredith said.

  “He is my boss, so I guess it’s got to make some difference to me.”

  Meredith stood up and came to his side of the table. “Let’s dance,” she said.

  They stood close together moving to the piano jazz. Meredith turned her face up to Sean’s and she kissed him. He kissed her back and forgot about who she was. She was who he wanted and it didn’t matter who her father was.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Meredith said. “I’ve got an apartment a few blocks over. Wanna come?”

  Inside Meredith’s apartment, they sat on the couch and started kissing again. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

  “Let’s go in the bedroom,” Meredith said. “It’s more comfortable in there.”

  Sean followed her to her bed and they fell on it still kissing. While grappling each other they managed to get most of their clothes off. They touched each other, rubbed each other, and then he was inside her and they were moving against each other. “Oh,” he said loudly as he came. Meredith echoed him as she came and then they collapsed in each other’s arms.

  Chapter Fifteen

  As Sean walked the trail, tears came to his eyes sometimes when he remembered Meredith. He’d never met anyone like her. She was so full of life, laughing and joking all the time. He got used to her jokes, which were often dry and wicked. It took him a second to get them sometimes, but when he did, he roared with laughter. He fell in love with her hard and she fell in love with him.

  There were detour trails to spectacular views of the mountains, and Sean took them almost every time a sign pointed the way. On his third day hiking, he took one of the detour trails and sat on a rock overlooking the vista of mountains. Majestic was the only word to describe them. It was like he was on the edge of the world when he looked over the vast landscape of mountains as far as he could see. He was awed in their presence, as he had been when he had first viewed them as an eighteen-year-old.

  Sean took a photo of the view with his iPhone. He would send it to his mother and Marla when he had cell phone service again. He didn’t know when that would be. He pulled some beef jerky from his backpack and looked at the incredible mountains. He missed Meredith. He missed Marla. He missed both of them, but he would never see Meredith again. Marla might be waiting for him.

  Marla was still in college when Sean met her for the first time over at Bob and Cynthia’s. It was a supper visit and Marla had left soon after the meal to meet some friends in Mobile. The next time he saw her was at Thanksgiving. When Sean and Meredith announced their engagement, after the huge meal that Mrs. Anderson had cooked. Marla had jumped up from the table and hugged Meredith. She hugged Sean too. What a nice sister, he remembered thinking back then.

  Sean moved up and down the trail, stopping sometimes to fill his water bottles at the natural springs. Most nights he was able to stay in a shelter, but a few nights he put his tent up in a campground area.

  One afternoon, when Sean was thinking about making camp for the night, he heard a noise on the trail. He stopped, listening. There was a rustling noise up ahead. And then a black bear was on the trail, looking at him. It was February, but it was a warm February and black bears would come out of their sleep on warm days. Panicked, Sean tried to think back about everything he knew to do. Make a lot of noise, he remembered. He picked up rocks from the side the trail and beat them together, yelling at the top of his lungs at the same time. The bear looked at him, unmoving. Sean pulled off his backpack and opened the pocket that held his food. He grabbed packets of dehydrated fruit and ripped them open. The bear had not moved—yet. Sean threw the fruit to the ground as the bear began to lumber his way. He grabbed his backpack and went off the trail, deep into the woods.

  When he had moved a hundred feet, Sean looked back. The bear was eating the fruit he had dropped. He stayed where he was and a minute later the bear moved off into the woods on the other side of the trail.

  It seemed that every day on the trail, Sean thought about something different. He was thinking in themes, time periods, people. He reached the spot where he was going to finish the trail, the place he and his friends had ended their hike over a decade earlier. But he kept going. He had a lot more to think about, and he kept going. He had two weeks worth of food and he had been on the trail for a week.

  On his seventh day on the trail, he thought about Meredith getting sick and dying. He couldn’t stop his mind from recalling all of the painful details. Her chemo and radiation. Watching her rally earlier on, when he thought she was going to be all right. Then watching her decline. And finally, watching her die. He stopped on the path and wept. He cried out for Meredith as he sat on the lonely trail. He cried out for her, begged her to come back to him. Birds sang in the woods, but Meredith did not return to him.

  On his eighth day, Sean thought about Marla. Sweet Marla. He loved her, he knew that as sure as he knew anything. He loved her like he loved Meredith. He loved them both. But he knew they were different. Marla looked a lot like Meredith with her blond hair and her facial features. But her eyes were a golden color, not blue as the sky like Meredith’s. She was sweet like Meredith, but she was different. She didn’t have a biting sense of humor like Meredith, for one thing. But she did have a sense of humor and laughed a lot. She found humor in life, and Sean appreciated that about her. He did too, once upon a time.

  What did Meredith mean when she asked Marla to look after him? Was it just her dying wish or was it something more than that? Did she intend for Sean and Marla to get together, as they had? Did she know more than they knew?

  Sean’s legs had grown strong on the hike. He no longer felt pains in his legs and shoulders. He could carry the backpack and walk the trail without pain. On the ninth day, he saw a wooden sign posted to a tree. McGinley’s Gap, it read. Hiker’s hostel, food, showers. Sean took the trail and a few miles later walked into the town in the valley of the mountains. Signs led him to the hostel, where he got a bed and unloaded his backpack. There were showers down the hall from the room areas and he stood in one for a long time, letting the warm water pour over him. He washed his hair and put his face in the water. When he got out and dried off he looked in the mirror. He hardly recognized himself. His hair was almost to his shoulders, but the most startling difference was the beard and mustache covering his face. The man looking back at him was a different man. He wasn’t sorry about that. He was a different man.

  He walked into the main hall of the hostel and there were a couple of wooly looking hikers standing around.

  “Hey,” a red-bearded man said to Sean when he walked in.

  “Hey,” Sean said, not at all sure about the etiquette on the trail.

  “There’s a buffet down the street. All you can eat. Wanna go with us?”

  An all-you-can-eat buffet was just exactly what Sean needed. He needed some company too after nine days on the trail only seeing the occasional hiker going the other direction. Sean walked with the fellow hikers down the street to the buffet. They filled their plates with fried chicken and spaghetti and vegetables and mashed potatoes with gravy and sat at a big table. All of the men started eating and no one spoke for a few minutes.

  “This is a lot better than that freeze-dried crap I’ve been eating for a week,” one of the men said. Sean held up his fried chicken leg as a salute. All of the men held up pieces of chicken in a toast. “To fried chicken,” they said.

  Everyone started talking after they had eaten a full plate of food and went back for another. The wooly brothers, as Sean was thinking of them in his head, said they had started the trail in Maine six months before. They were thru hikers, a feat very few accomplished. Sean was impressed at their tenacity.

  “We’ve only got about sixty miles to go when we hit Georgia, and then we’ve made the whole trail,” Gary, the one with red curly hair and a beard to match, said. Sean congratulated the men. He told them that he’d only gone a section of the t
rail, about sixty miles—as far as they had to go. The men exchanged stories about the trail, what they’d seen, what they’d experienced. Sean told them about meeting the bear. They all nodded in appreciation.

  “You did the right thing,” Rufus, a gray-headed man, said. “You don’t wanna mess with the bears. Just get outa their way.”

  The men walked back to the hostel after stuffing themselves and finishing the meal off with banana pudding and peach cobbler.

  “Nice to meet you,” Gary said. “Good luck to you.”

  “Good luck to y’all too,” Sean said. “And congratulations for making it through.”

  When he sat down on his bed, Sean sent his photos to his mother and Marla. He hadn’t had cell reception for the nine days he’d been on the trail and he knew his mother and Marla were worried about him. He called his mother, who cried when she heard his voice.

  “I’m fine, Mom. I don’t want you to worry. I’m fine.”

  “When are you coming back,” she asked him.

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “I went a lot further than I expected, but I’m not ready to leave yet.”

  After hanging up from his mother, he called Marla. Like his mother, she cried when she heard his voice.

  “It’s okay, Marla,” he said. “I’m okay. I sent you some photos I took on the trail. Did you get them?”

  “Yes,” she said, sniffling. “I got them. It looks like an amazing place.”

  “It is amazing,” he said. “The photos don’t really do it justice.”

  “Are you coming back?” Marla asked. “I miss you, Sean.”

  “I miss you too. You don’t know how much I miss you. But I don’t know when I’m coming back. I think I’ve still got some things to work out.”

  She didn’t say anything. “Marla?” Sean said. “Are you working things out too?”

  “I guess so,” she said. “I guess I’m thinking about things a lot. Is that what you mean?”

  “That’s what I mean,” he said. “Marla, I think about you all the time. I want to be there but I know I need to be clear about everything. We need to be clear.”