Sleepless Nights

by Amanda Heath

  Barney clenches his fist and cracks his neck. “You be real careful how you talk to me. I won’t be disrespected by a lowlife like you.”

  Pop laughs again but this time his smile is evil. “I don’t much like how you think you run this town. Far’s I’m concerned I run this town. I got the cops in my pocket and I use money instead of threats, so they’re more likely to stay on my side. Even the citizens of this town think I run it. You know why?” Barney just stares at Pop and I’d find it funny if things weren’t so fuckin’ serious. “Because I don’t threaten the lives of the people. I don’t disturb their lives, killin’ their daughters and sellin’ drugs to their sons. In fact, the citizens paid me a million dollars to off you.”

  It got so silent you could hear a pin drop from a mile away. “Excuse me?” Barney seethes, steppin’ even closer to Pop.

  And that’s when it happens. A bullet flies between Pop and me, hittin’ Barney between the eyes. The other bosses get out of their seats and head towards us, drawin’ their guns. “Sit the fuck down!” Sage screams from behind us. And they all sit down.

  I turn to look at him and find him puttin’ his gun back behind his back. Guess little boy didn’t want to play with daddy anymore. “I thought I told you to wait,” Pop growls.

  “Yeah, well I was getting tired of the conversation. He wasn’t going to change anything and I’d rather be breathing than making the kind of money he was.” He walks around us and steps up to his father. “Old bastard didn’t even see it coming.”

  Pop sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well I trust you to handle them.” He points a finger at the other bosses. “Gotta get my boy back to his woman. You keep it clean around here and you won’t be hearin’ from me.”

  “That was the point,” Sage grumbles and moves onto the patio.

  Pop nods to us and we fall in behind him on the way to his truck. “That was awesome! I’ve been waitin’ my whole life for someone to blow a hole in that fucker’s face,” Ryan states, getting’ into the truck behind me.

  “You coulda told us Pop. I still wouldn’t have said anythin’.” I moan as I rub my shoulder against the seat causin’ more pain to shoot down my body.

  “You need to take a pain pill. You’re gonna suffer for days if you don’t,” Pop says instead of respondin’ to me. Asshole.

  ***

  Hours later when I’m sittin’ next to Ashley’s hospital bed, I still haven’t taken a pill. I honestly don’t want to. Somethin’ could still go wrong, like infection.

  I would still be a total mess if she hadn’t opened those beautiful blue eyes to look at me. “I had a dream,” she says, clutchin’ my hand as hard as she can.

  “What about?” I ask, bringin’ her hand up to kiss her knuckles.

  “I had a dream that we had a little girl with blonde hair and deep blue sea eyes. You rode up with her on the back of your bike and her eyes got wide. Then she said, ‘Momma, Daddy went really fast this time!’ and I slapped you upside the head.” The smile that graces her face stops my heart and restarts it all in the same second. Her eyes meet mine and I smile back.

  “All your dreams will come true, Glossy. I swear to you.” And I know they will. I’ll make her happy for the rest of her life, even if it kills me. It will be the best death any man could have. Dyin’ for the only woman he’ll ever love.

  Victor

  I feel like shit. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever felt this bad in my life. When Micah shot me, I hoped I would die. I mean, the people in my life would be way better off without me around.

  I look at Ashley lying in her hospital bed and it’s all I can do not to fall on the floor and cry. She’s in here because of me, because I couldn’t tell Talon no. I couldn’t just let it go. I couldn’t help him deal with his sister’s death like a normal friend. No, I had to run around killing bad people. At least the streets are going to be safer now. Talon showed up an hour ago and told me Uncle Barney was killed. My sister’s…ugh…lover killed him. Color me shocked at that one. Killed by his own son. And thankfully the Wrath’s got rid of Micah, but not before Ashley got hit.

  “Victor?” she mumbles while I’m not paying attention. I have a lot of drugs in my system. Plus, pain means nothing to me. I live and breathe pain even when I’m asleep. I only hope I never get shot again.

  “Ashes. How you feeling?” I lift my head and look at her under my lashes. She used to tell me how sexy I looked when I did that. I shouldn’t be trying to be sexy for her. But it would be funny if her husband walked in here and saw it.

  Ashley grins but it’s pained. “Like I got shot in the chest,” she tells me, using the remote of her bed to lift her upper body. “What are you doing here? You should be lying down.”

  I laugh softly because let’s face it, if I laughed for real I’d probably end up crying like a baby. “Always worried about everyone else. You’ll never change.”

  “I should hope not. Seems my husband likes me the way I am.” She looks at me, gauging my reaction, but I don’t give her one. After being shot and knowing there are other kinds of love out there, I feel nothing romantic towards Ashley. I don’t think I have in a long time. I was settling for her when I couldn’t have who I really wanted.

  “I remember a time when we shared everything that happened in our lives. Now we are covered in secrets neither of us will ever share.” And I hope one day I have that look of love on my face. The one she has when she talks about her husband. I want that but I know I’ll never have it with Ashley. I should have realized that a decade ago. We were never right for each other.

  Ashley looks away from me and I see a tear slip out of her eye. “I don’t think we’ll ever get back to who we were before we got together.”

  I limp until I’m right beside her bed. I reach down and grab her hand. “That’s okay Ashes. We don’t belong together. You and I both know that. I don’t think we ever did.”

  She nods and squeezes my hand. “I love him more than I ever did you,” she whispers, holding on to my hand hard.

  I choke back my feelings and hang on for dear life. “I met someone in Iraq.”

  She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. I always hated it when she cried and now I realize it’s because I always made her cry. She thought it made her weak, when in reality those tears were her freedom. She expressed herself when I could never do it. “You love her?”

  I nod. “I messed it up though. Think that’s why I wanted you back. I wanted to make up for how I treated you before I went to Iraq.”

  She gives me a smile. “What’s her name?”

  I swallow hard and look at the door. I see a pair of dark blue eyes looking back at me from the shadows. “Monica.” The eyes go up and down as he nods his head.

  “Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for in her,” she tells me.

  I look down at her and bend over her bed. I kiss her forehead and cup her face to look at me. “I already did. You keep that biker on his toes, you hear?”

  She sobs and I feel my own tears build in my eyes but I would never let them fall. “Is this goodbye?”

  I grit my teeth and nod. “You know I can’t come back around. I’ll have too many people after me, your husband included. But I’ll always have a place in my heart meant for you, Ashes. I’ll love you just as much as I always did. And I’ll think of you often and how happy you made me once upon a time.”

  “’Bye, Victor.” I place my forehead to hers before I quickly get up and limp out of her room. I pass Rage in the hallway but we don’t speak. We don’t fight. We don’t do anything, because I’m no longer a threat to Ashley.

  I’ve never been more free in my life than I am right now.

  Epilogue

  Ten years later…

  Damien

  I watch her runnin’ around, that hair flyin’ behind her back. She likes bein’ chased and we like to make her think she won’t be caught. But then we always do and we kiss her rose red cheeks.

  Cora Jewel Daniels w
as born four and a half years ago. You wouldn’t believe the look on Ashley’s face when she ran outta the bathroom with that little stick. I didn’t even know she was thinkin’ it. Lord knows I’d come inside her enough to get her pregnant a hundred times. But out of the blue, she just was.

  Rachel offered lots of time to surrogate but Ashley wanted to carry her baby herself. Not that she wouldn’t love a child from someone elses body, it’s just she wanted the whole experience.

  Though I think she rethought that when the morning sickness started. Or, after seven hours of labor and one hour of pushing, they had to do a C-section. Thankfully both Momma and baby were fine.

  I couldn’t tell you all the joy and happiness inside of my body at seein’ my baby girl for the first time. Her little face looked so much like Ashley but then she opened them eyes and looked right at me. Deep blue sea and that’s why we named her Cora.

  I was so happy to be a father. Even after Cora threw up on me tons, or the times she had an explosive diaper while sittin’ in my lap. Not even after she put my bike keys in the toilet when she was two or drew all the people in her family on the walls. That was a bitch to clean up.

  I was never more proud when she said her first word, which was Daddy. Or the first time she walked, which was right to me. Or the first time she repeated me and said a bad word. Ashley wasn’t happy about that one.

  I don’t even mind when she gets scared in the middle of the night and runs into our room, most of the time durin’ fuckin’ time. But I’d do anythin’ for that little girl; even stop tryin’ to get in her Mom’s pants.

  I didn’t think Ashley remembered what I promised her all those years ago in that hospital room. But just last week I pulled up to the curb with Cora on the back of my bike. Cora jumped off and told her Momma, “Momma, Daddy went really fast this time!” and Ashley burst into tears right after she slapped me upside the head.

  In case you were wonderin’, I never chased down Victor. I mean, I know where he is but now I can’t bring myself to kill him. Lookin’ at my little girl, and then seein’ pictures of Victor’s little girl, it woulda killed me to kill him.

  Sage took over the mob here in Dallas. He got married and had some kids of his own. He told me the other day he was so happy they were girls. He wouldn’t have to worry about them growin’ up to be bosses. He’s never said anythin’ but I think he mourns the loss of his brother. I know I would if anythin’ happened to Ryan. Even if Ryan was a psycho like Micah. There’s also a big clue since he named one of his daughters Micah.

  He runs the mob with an iron fist and we haven’t had a problem with sellin’ flesh or underage kids dyin’ of drug overdoses. Well, not from our groups. I think as long as you have this many people in one place, things are gonna get bad. We have smaller gangs who do the really bad shit but we’ve worked out territories with them. None of their shit affects ours.

  “Pop pop! Give me a piggy back ride!” Cora screams, now chasin’ my Pop around the front yard. He’s gettin’ old but he’s still fit and I’m happy. I might be VP but that doesn’t mean I don’t have big shoes to fill.

  “Baby girl, you’re gettin’ too big for that. You’re gonna break my back.” His grey hair is pulled back in his ponytail and those blue eyes sparkle down at my little girl.

  Well, until Diablo runs up. Diablo isn’t his real name, just his nickname. I guess Lola thinks it’s funny. James Marco Daniels was born six years ago in the middle of a thunderstorm. Pop had this huge smile on his face and said, “Just like his old man. Can’t even wait for the storm to finish.”

  “Cora you’re always hoggin’ Pawpaw! I want a turn!” he screams, stompin’ his foot.

  I hear a chuckle behind me and turn around to see my old lady. Her black hair shinin’ in the sun, those hips swingin’ and those tits bouncin’. “You take turns with your grandfather! You have to share him!”

  When she makes it to me, I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her temple. “Wait till Killian gets here. Life will be borderline insane out in the yard,” I whisper in her ear.

  Killian is my niece who’s eight years old. That’s all you’re gettin’ from me about her. Chutney wants a chance to tell you her story herself.

  “I haven’t seen that spitfire in months. I can’t wait till they get here.” I can. I don’t like my brother-in-law. At. All.

  I pull her in front of me and slam my lips to hers. “I wanna fuck you up against this car so bad,” I mutter into her neck as she becomes breathless. Tens years later and I can still get her goin’.

  “You’re so bad!” she laughs, breakin’ away from me. “I don’t have time for your bullshit right now. I have to get the house ready!” She gives me somethin’ to remember her by before leavin’. She lifts her skirt up while Pop has the kids occupied. I get a glimpse of naked ass.

  “You dirty woman you! Come back!” I holler while she just laughs at me.

  Yeah life can’t get any better.

  The End

  What’s next? Well Lola and Ryan of course.

  I haven’t named their book yet but keep a look out for it!

  About The Author

  I live in southern Arkansas with my husband and young daughter. There is also an insane Boston Terrier running around. I've always been a lone wolf and find my friends in books. I started writing at a young age and I haven't stopped since. Most days you can find me either glued to my laptop or my kindle. My first novel, This Beautiful Thing was an Amazon best seller for 11 weeks and a year later I'm still tickled to see people enjoy it. I may not be a huge seller but I have the best fans ever and I thank God everyday for every single one of them.

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