Flowers on the Mersey

by June Francis

  ‘So thou’s back, is thee?’ grunted Hannah on opening the door.

  Rebekah looked at her with something akin to affection. ‘Thanks for the welcome. Is my aunt in?’

  ‘She’s in.’ Hannah thrust her face close to hers. ‘We’ve been managing fine without thee. So there’s no need for thee to be always showing thy face.’

  Rebekah drew back, not wanting anyone to look too closely at her. ‘I’ve come to take her out,’ she said promptly. ‘I thought we’d go to town and then for a trip in the country.’

  ‘Her knee’s bad,’ said Hannah, folding her arms across her thin breasts. ‘Got to rest it.’

  ‘You told me that she should keep on the move,’ retorted Rebekah, and pushing past the maid went up the lobby to steal her aunt from Hannah’s clutches.

  ‘This really is good of thee, Becky love,’ said Esther, holding on to her hat as her niece drove along a road in Formby-on-Sea which led to the coast. ‘I’ve never been this far out of Liverpool.’

  ‘I thought you’d enjoy it.’ Rebekah glanced at her. It was curiosity that had taken her in this direction and they would have to be turning back soon if Joshua’s meal was to be on the table by the time he returned home. She glanced about her, not sure what she was looking for, and then suddenly saw it. There was a set of imposing wrought iron gates and through them she could make out a large building. There was a notice which read ‘Asylum for Mentally Afflicted Gentlefolk’. She went a little further up the road and then turned round.

  Rebekah often thought of Emma in the weeks that followed, questioning what Amelia Green had said to her the day of the wedding, not only about Emma and her mother, but Joshua too. War unsettled men, she had said. Had war inflicted on her husband the peculiar fascination he had with pain? There were times when she did not know whether to be glad or sorry that the tweeny slept out and Janet’s room was so far from the large bright bedroom overlooking the park that she and Joshua shared.

  She did most of what he asked her without comment but she would not use the cat o’ nine tails. Something inside her would not allow her to vent her hatred in that way. Perhaps it was because she knew that was exactly what he wanted – for her to show passionate response to his mishandling of her. She suffered his calculated assault on her body without a struggle. Only once did he hit her with the whip and afterwards he astonished her by crying at the sight of her blood and saying he was sorry. She just could not understand him.

  There were evenings when they entertained some of his associates and he gave her money for a new dress, telling her just what he expected of her. She would go to Bold Street and buy a new gown, never spending the amount he gave her, and what was over she put away.

  If she stayed in, the days seemed endless. Her job had finished when she married but she still went to visit Mrs Dodd. ‘You don’t look well, girl,’ she said, staring at Rebekah. ‘Have you been caught?’

  ‘You mean, am I having a baby?’ she murmured, bobbing Lily on her knee. ‘No.’ She would have added, Thank God, but that would have meant explanations and she had no intention of telling anybody what she suffered at Joshua’s hands. Not even Edwina, who had been a VAD during the war and was now a member of the Red Cross. She was suggesting that Rebekah, who had been a junior member in Ireland, should come along to the meetings and be useful.

  In the end she agreed to go along, and life seemed very real and earnest during the weeks when spring turned to summer. Civil war was threatening in Ireland. Edwina and her father went on holiday. Her aunt also went away on some peace conference. Joshua mentioned that he might have to go to New York on business. She prayed that he would go but the days passed and he did not mention it again.

  One afternoon she was in town, having left the car at home because she wanted to save money on petrol, when she noticed that there was an Ethel M. Dell film on at the cinema. Earlier in the year Ethel had got engaged to a Colonel Savage. The paper had said that her books had made her a fortune. Rebekah wished that she could get her hands on her money so that she could leave Joshua.

  The film was guaranteed to melt the stoniest hearts and Rebekah came out of the cinema feeling a little better for it. She paused to pull on her gloves but a poke in the back caused her to stumble. A hand at her elbow prevented her from hitting the ground.

  ‘Are yer all right, luv?’

  It was a voice Rebekah recognised. ‘Joe?’ She turned and saw him with Brigid. Unexpectedly, tears filled her eyes.

  For a moment neither of the women spoke. Then Brigid said faintly, ‘Yer not going to cry, are yer? What have you got to cry about? Didn’t yer get just what yer wanted when yer married his lordship!’

  Rebekah blinked back the tears. ‘So you know about that?’

  ‘I saw it in the Echo, and I saw it coming anyway.’ Brigid squared her shoulders. ‘But there wasn’t any need for yer to leave Ma’s party the way you did without a word of explanation. Although our Pat told us what happened.’

  Rebekah’s expression froze. ‘Your Pat? I suppose that’s why you never answered my letter? You took his side.’

  ‘What letter?’ said Brigid, frowning.

  ‘The one I sent, saying that Pat was getting too serious and I didn’t want that. We’d agreed just to be friends. I supposed he gave his own version of the story so you weren’t prepared to believe mine.’

  Brigid exchanged glances with Joe, who shrugged. ‘Don’t look at me. I know nothing about it.’

  ‘I never received any letter,’ said Brigid earnestly. ‘I would have answered it if I had.’

  ‘Well, I sent one.’

  Brigid shook her head. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t answer it but I thought you’d finished with us because of his lordship.’

  Rebekah stared at her. ‘We were friends.’

  Joe’s glance took in Rebekah’s expression, then Brigid’s. ‘Listen, luv, I’ll go and have a pint over the road. I think you two have some talking to do. I’ll give yer a quarter of an hour and then meet you at the tram stop.’

  ‘All right.’ Brigid did not watch him go. Her gaze was fixed on Rebekah. ‘Yer can see why I believed our Pat. I knew that his lordship wanted you when we were in New York. When I read about the wedding, I was convinced yer’d chucked Pat and ended our friendship because of him.’

  ‘It’s not true!’ Rebekah cleared her throat.

  There was a short silence before Brigid said fiercely, ‘But yer married him! Where does that leave all yer talk about loving Daniel and never forgetting him?’

  ‘I haven’t forgotten him! But he’s dead.’

  Brigid’s eyes flashed. ‘He’s dead but our Veronica thought she saw him the other day.’

  ‘She couldn’t have,’ said Rebekah, feeling as if her heart had suddenly sunk into her stomach.

  ‘That’s what I said. But it’s funny all the same.’

  ‘I don’t find it funny.’ Rebekah suddenly could not bear being still and almost ran across the cobbled road to the tram stop. She turned and stared at Brigid who had followed her. ‘I’d like to believe it! If you’d said you’d seen him, I probably would, even though it’s impossible.’

  ‘I know.’ Brigid sighed. ‘I bumped into his brother the other day down at the Pierhead. After all this time I thought that queer. I asked him how he was and whether he’d been living in America. I said how sorry I was about Daniel being drowned and how upset you’d been at the time.’

  Rebekah’s expression barely concealed her emotions. ‘I’m surprised you spared a thought for me if you believed I’d just walk out without a word. Besides, you’d be wasting your time if you expected Shaun to weep for me. He hated me. So you probably made his day!’ She dug her fists deep into her jacket pockets. ‘What was he doing in Liverpool anyway?’

  Brigid shrugged. ‘I didn’t ask. I presumed he was over here seeing his cousins, but when I mentioned him to Maureen she said that she hadn’t seen hide nor tail of him.’

  ‘Probably up to no good,’ said Rebekah politely. ‘
Remember the telegraph wires being cut on the Wirral? They got Sinn Feiners for it? I bet he’s been up to something like that! Some Republicans are still at war with the British.’

  ‘You mean – he’s a terrorist and was making a quick getaway on the Irish ferry?’ Brigid’s voice rose to a squeak.

  Rebekah stared at her and the hurt that Brigid’s words had inflicted caused her to say, ‘He’s a troublemaker! And for all you know the police might have been watching him and now could be watching you!’

  Brigid’s mouth fell open and she crossed herself quickly, glancing about her. At the sight of a policeman standing on the other side of the road she darted behind Rebekah. It proved too much for her when she had had nothing to laugh at for ages, and she burst out laughing. ‘You idiot! Nobody’s going to arrest you!’

  For a moment Brigid did not move then she smiled. ‘You thing! Yer had me going then!’

  Rebekah’s eyes still wore a warm expression. ‘You hurt my feelings. I do still care for Daniel, but I wanted to please my father and I wanted children. It’s all right for you. There’s your Pat and your Kath and her kids. Then there’s your other sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles. I only have Aunt Esther.’

  For a moment Brigid was silent. ‘Veronica misses you. Why don’t yer come round some time? Our Pat’s home at the moment, but he left Green’s and does long trips to Australia now. He’ll be sailing in a day or so.’

  Rebekah’s expression softened. ‘Thanks. Perhaps I will.’

  ‘Do yer love his lordship?’ asked Brigid tentatively.

  ‘Don’t ask daft questions.’

  Brigid burst out, ‘Are you happy?’

  ‘I’m as miserable as sin. If he pops off, I won’t grieve.’

  Brigid stared at her. ‘Yer terrible!’ She started to laugh.

  ‘Aren’t I just?’ Rebekah’s laugh was hollow. ‘I want to leave him.’

  ‘Yer what?’ The laughter died on Brigid’s face.

  ‘You heard me. He’s a real – monster.’

  ‘What d’yer mean, he’s a monster?’

  Rebekah shrugged. ‘I can’t tell you everything now. Joe’ll be back in a minute.’

  Brigid scrutinised her face. ‘We’ll have to meet again,’ she said. ‘Soon.’

  Rebekah nodded. ‘When does Joe go back?’

  ‘In a couple of days. We can meet on Friday. I have a half day.’

  ‘Right.’ Rebekah freed a shaky breath. ‘You can’t know how glad I am that I went to see Ethel M. Dell.’

  ‘I do,’ said Brigid, and hugged her. ‘Here’s yer tram. I’ll meet yer outside the new Palladium on West Derby Road at one.’

  Rebekah nodded and caught the tram. Her mood was buoyant as she travelled home.

  Joshua was there before her and her spirits sank at the sour expression on his face as he looked up from his newspaper. ‘You’re late.’

  ‘I went to Cooper’s in town to get that special cheese you like.’ Impulsively she put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. ‘How are things in the shipyards now that the engineers have returned to work? Will you be getting that ship converted?’

  ‘Probably.’ He looked at her, an arrested expression on his face, then folded the newspaper and put his arm round her waist, squeezing it. ‘That trip I mentioned to New York – I’ve got to go in a couple of days. I could be away for a few weeks.’

  For a moment Rebekah could not speak for joy but she schooled herself not to show her true feelings. ‘I’d go with you but I think I’d find it too upsetting still,’ she said, infusing a touch of regret in her voice. ‘It’s only now that I can think of Mama and Papa without it hurting. Memories would come flooding back and we don’t want that, do we, just when I think I might be forgetting the past.’

  ‘You’re talking about O’Neill?’ He pulled her against him and frowned into her eyes.

  ‘Who?’ she said lightly.

  Joshua smiled. ‘I told you I’d make you forget him.’ He stroked her shoulder, and his fingers wandered over her breast. ‘He could never give you all what you have here with me.’

  ‘No.’ She forced herself to press her lips against his. ‘You aren’t too angry at me staying at home?’

  ‘I understand. Although you’ll have to make up for it tonight. Perhaps tonight will be the night. I would have thought you’d have started having a baby by now.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  A disgruntled expression settled over his face and she kissed him quickly, knowing that it was going to be difficult because she had a period.

  Rebekah closed the door and her dancing footsteps echoed round the hall as she spun round and round with Moggy in her arms. ‘He’s gone! He’s gone!’ she whispered in the cat’s flickering ear. ‘And he won’t be back for weeks!’ Perhaps she should leave him now before she did start having his baby? She had saved forty pounds and Joshua had left her money to live on. She could get a job. Any job! And if she pawned a few things that would bring in extra money. The white fox furs could go. They reminded her of that honeymoon in Chester. She thought of how Joshua had spoken of his hatred for Daniel and then shook her head to rid herself of the memory, considering instead how Veronica had believed that she had seen Daniel. Perhaps she had mistaken him for Shaun? They were brothers after all and Shaun might have grown more like Daniel over the last couple of years. She would mention that, and about pawning the furs, to Brigid whom she was meeting in an hour’s time.

  Brigid shook her head uncomprehendingly and stroked the white fox furs. ‘I know men can be cruel, but to hit you and want to beat you … I don’t understand it.’

  Rebekah tucked her arm in Brigid’s. ‘I haven’t told you the half of it, and I’m not going to,’ she said lightly. ‘But you do see why I want to leave him?’

  ‘Yes. Although – don’t you think he’ll come after you? The law would be on his side, you know? He could make you go back and he’d be mad at yer, wouldn’t he?’

  ‘I know.’ Rebekah felt cold and sweaty at the thought. ‘That’s why I have to get away now, before he comes back. Can you pawn the furs for me?’

  ‘Of course I can.’ Brigid smiled and her voice was deliberately cheerful. ‘I’ll take them to Ol’ Solly. He’ll give you a good price. He’s an old Jew but he’s fair. Mam always swore by him in the old days.’

  ‘Good.’ Rebekah placed the furs back in the brown paper bag and they began to walk.

  There was a short silence before Brigid said, ‘Yer know that yer welcome to come and stay with us. The only thing is, he might find you.’

  ‘I know. It’s the same with Aunt Esther.’ She cleared her throat. ‘I could go to Ireland. I doubt if Joshua would follow me there because he hates the plate. He hates Daniel! One of the reasons he married me was because he thought it would hurt Daniel. Ridiculous, when he’s dead.’

  Brigid dropped her gaze to the pavement. ‘Is he, though?’ Her voice sounded strained.

  Rebekah stared at her. ‘Are you saying that you believe Veronica? Because it could have been Shaun she saw.’

  ‘It’s not just Veronica.’ Brigid lifted her head. ‘It’s our Pat. He says Daniel’s alive.’

  For several moments Rebekah could not speak while the words penetrated like sharp knives into her brain. Suddenly she was reliving that terrible time after the disaster. It had seemed incredible that Daniel could be dead and she had not believed it. But Shaun had said he was. Why should he lie to her? Why? An hysterical laugh burst inside her. Why! Shaun had wanted to break up her relationship with Daniel! And Joshua? She stared at Brigid and her fury exploded into words. ‘He lied to me! Joshua must have known Daniel was alive! I could kill him – kill him.’ Her fists clenched. ‘If I had that Cat now I’d—’

  ‘Shhh!’ Brigid dragged on her arm. ‘I shouldn’t have told you like that.’

  Rebekah turned on her. ‘When did Pat tell you?’

  ‘Yesterday. I told him about seeing yer and just that yer were unhappy – that his lordship was a
bit of a monster. Then I spoke about how besotted yer’d been about Daniel on the ship, and how his death had really broken you up. I mentioned what Veronica had said.’ She bit her upper lip. ‘He laughed and muttered something about yer making your bed and having to lie on it. That he didn’t believe yer cared about anybody but yerself, and that Daniel and him were just pawns in some game you’d played. That he’d seen Daniel last winter in some port or other.’

  ‘He did?’ croaked Rebekah. ‘Did he say whether Daniel mentioned me?’

  ‘He didn’t speak to him. Just caught sight of him in a pub.’

  ‘Oh God!’ Rebekah suddenly felt faint. ‘Perhaps Pat was imagining things.’

  ‘He seemed pretty definite. What are you going to do?’

  Rebekah pulled herself together and was silent for a few seconds. ‘You can find out if Daniel is still alive by asking his cousin or aunt. I-I don’t mean to sound unkind but I wouldn’t put it past your Pat just to make it all up so that you could tell me and hurt me. Does that make sense? Or do I sound completely crazy?’

  ‘I don’t think our Pat’s lying.’

  Rebekah nodded. ‘Then ask Daniel’s cousin for the truth. She might not have wanted to tell you that Shaun had visited. He’s a known rebel. For all we know, Daniel might have been there as well.’

  Brigid’s eyes narrowed. ‘Yer mean she could have thought I’d betray him to the police?’

  ‘Yes!’

  Brigid’s cheeks puffed and then she blew out a breath. ‘That could be it – and yer see what this means? It could have been him that Veronica saw.’

  ‘Yes!’ Rebekah’s lips quivered. ‘Oh, Brigid, I’ve got to see him.’

  ‘He mightn’t want to have anything to do with yer when he knows about his lordship,’ said Brigid reluctantly.

  ‘And he might! He loved me! He’ll understand,’ she stammered. ‘I thought he was dead, and he must believe I’m dead or he’d have come looking for me.’