Flowers on the Mersey

by June Francis

‘Never a word. And there’s nothing in the Echo.’

  Rebekah gnawed her lower lip. ‘Open the back gate and I’ll go into the garden.’

  She wheeled the pram round and settled herself in a chair. As she fed David, she gazed unseeingly at the mermaid figurehead, wondering what the dismissal of the nurse meant. Was it money, or was there some deeper reason behind her being sent off?

  There was a sound at the french windows and she turned and saw Joshua. He lit a cheroot and came slowly towards her. ‘Nurse has gone.’

  ‘Janet told me.’

  She determined not to ask why but he answered her unspoken question. ‘I didn’t see why you needed help with the boy. You spend enough time with him yourself.’

  ‘That’s all right.’ She flashed him a smile. ‘I’ll manage. When I was on Outdoor Relief I saw women coping with five and six children without help.’

  ‘Slum children,’ he said disparagingly.

  Rebekah stared at him. ‘I thought you cared about the children and the work of the Seamen’s Orphanage?’

  His eyes narrowed against the smoke. ‘I was taught that it was my duty to show an interest. My father also told me that a man often has to grin and bear things.’

  ‘Men aren’t the only ones.’ she murmured.

  ‘What’s that mean?’ He scowled. ‘What have you to complain about?’

  ‘Did I complain?’

  ‘It sounded like a complaint.’ He looked disgruntled. ‘If anyone has cause for complaint, it’s me. You’re always cuddling that baby. He’ll be spoilt. It’s not good for children to be picked up all the time.’ He moved suddenly and wrenched David out of her arms. The child gave a startled whimper as he was dragged from her breast and she cried with pain and attempted to regain possession of him.

  ‘I’m feeding him,’ she said angrily. ‘Be careful of that cigar!’

  ‘You’re always feeding him,’ growled Joshua, pressing David against him and staring at her bared breast. ‘There’s never any time for me.’

  ‘You’d rather he starved?’ She pulled together the edges of her blouse.

  ‘Go on, cover yourself up! Never anything for me these days!’

  She looked away from him. ‘You wanted a baby.’

  ‘Yes, I did. But I didn’t expect it to take you over. Another woman would have been happy to leave it all to the nurse, but not you. You’re going to have to learn that I won’t put up with it forever. You can put him to bed now and give me some of your time. And by the way, I’ve moved his crib out of our room.’ He offered David to her then feigned dropping him as she put out her arms.

  She caught him quickly. ‘Why do you do that?’ she said in a seething voice. ‘One of these days—’

  ‘One of these days I might drop him, were you going to say?’ muttered Joshua, stubbing out his cheroot on the place the mermaid would have had a bottom if she did not have a tail. ‘Maybe not if you put him on the bottle and give me some of what he’s been getting.’

  She flushed. ‘I want to feed him myself. He’s my son!’

  ‘He might be yours but is he mine?’ Joshua lit another cheroot.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Rebekah’s voice was cool despite her heart’s beginning to race.

  ‘His eyes are changing colour. If I believed—’

  ‘Believed what?’

  ‘He doesn’t look like me.’

  ‘He’s only a baby.’ She placed David in his pram.

  ‘I’ve often heard people say “Doesn’t he look like his father?” of babies.’ His eyes glinted. ‘And there’s another thing. I don’t like you calling him David.’

  She was ready for that one. ‘I prefer it to Adam. Papa and I weren’t always on the best of terms.’

  ‘I suppose you prefer David because it’s the nearest you dare get to Daniel?’ he snapped.

  She stared at him, thinking how often she stopped on the brink of an argument. She did so now, saying in a controlled voice: ‘David was the Old Testament hero – and eventually a king. I thought it fitting.’

  His face reddened. ‘You’re pushing your luck, Rebekah. I know my Bible. I’m still king of this castle, not that child. It’s something you forget.’

  ‘How could I? You lord it over me whenever you can.’

  ‘I’m your husband! I have rights.’ He tossed his cheroot in a flower bed and before she could think of moving away, seized hold of her arms and thrust his face close to hers. ‘What were you doing in Ireland last summer? Why did you really go? Did you soothe any rebels’ brows? O’Neill’s for instance?’ It was so sudden that Rebekah could not think what to say for a moment. ‘Well?’ he demanded.

  For a moment she was tempted to fling the truth in his face but common sense asserted itself. She had David’s safety to consider. ‘Is this some sick joke? You told me Daniel was dead. Has he suddenly come alive again?’

  For a moment he was silent, his anger digging into her upper arms, then he muttered. ‘Put the boy to bed. I want some of your attention for a change.’

  Rebekah did as she was told, dreading the hours ahead, but it was not as bad as she feared. A business acquaintance of Joshua’s called and the men talked shipping and the slump in trade while the level in a bottle of whisky fell. Rebekah slipped away to feed David and stayed in the nursery. She was still there, gazing out of the open window over the moonlit garden, when Joshua came and stood in the doorway.

  ‘Why aren’t you in bed? You should be in bed.’ His words were slurred.

  ‘I’m coming.’ Rebekah tried to inch past him but he took hold of her and pulled her close. Whisky fumes fanned her cheek and she recoiled. ‘How much have you drunk?’

  ‘Not enough not to know what to do with you. You should have had a drink with us, my sweet. The alcohol might make you more friendly.’

  ‘I didn’t want a drink,’ she murmured, trying to free herself. ‘But if it’s what makes you happy.’

  ‘I’m not happy.’ He swayed as he clung to her and said against her ear, ‘You could make me happy if you—’ He whispered a suggestion.

  ‘No!’ She tried to pull away but he kept hold of her.

  ‘You did it when we were first married! You did! You did!’ he cried petulantly.

  Anger stirred inside her. ‘Only because you forced me. I’m not doing it now! Now let me go before you wake the baby.’

  ‘Damn and blast the baby,’ he shouted, shaking her. ‘I’ve been patient, staying away from you, and now I want what’s my right!’

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ stuttered Rebekah. ‘Do you want to wake the whole neighbourhood?’

  ‘I damn well don’t care!’ He slapped her across the face.

  Her hand went to her cheek and there was a churning inside her. ‘Don’t you hit me!’

  ‘And how are you going to stop me?’ he sneered.

  She kicked his ankle and they began to struggle. He yelled insults at her and she screeched at him, not caring what she said but fighting like one demented, hating him for all he had put her through. The baby’s crying brought her back to her senses. ‘Now look what you’ve done,’ she panted. ‘Let me go to him.’

  ‘No! Let me!’ Joshua pushed her against the wall and went over the crib. He snatched up David and went over to the open window and held him out.

  Rebekah screamed and darted across the room, hovering around Joshua, terrified to touch him. ‘Don’t drop him! Please, don’t drop him!’

  He glanced over his shoulder and there was a triumphant look on his face. ‘What’ll you give me if I don’t?’

  She did not hesitate. ‘Anything!’

  ‘What I asked before?’

  She nodded.

  ‘Give me your word. I don’t trust you.’

  ‘I swear it.’

  He brought the baby in and gave him to Rebekah. David’s screams turned to whimpers as she hushed and rocked him.

  ‘Just put him in his crib,’ ordered Joshua, still smiling.

  Rebekah wondered if her hus
band was quite sane to do such a thing but was still too shocked to attempt further rebellion at the moment.

  She performed the act Joshua desired, disliking it and him. She vowed that it was for the last time. The risk to David in staying with Joshua was more than she could cope with. Tomorrow she would leave.

  The next morning, Janet asked if she was all right, looking with some concern at the bruising on her face. Rebekah did not want to involve her so she just answered that she felt a little unwell and asked her to do the shopping. With the maid out of the way she hoped that there would be nobody concerned enough about her to notice her leaving.

  It was no easy task choosing what to take. When she had left for Ireland it had been a simple matter of packing as suitcase for herself. Now she had all the baby’s paraphernalia to think about. She loaded her car. It was a struggle and she could not find room for the crib, but the rest she managed with the help of a couple of boys playing in the park. Then she sat in the driving seat a moment while the enormity of what she was doing overwhelmed her. Then, vividly, like something on a screen she pictured Joshua’s face as he held David out of the window and she drove off.

  Rebekah arrived at Brigid’s home just before noon, not expecting to find her friend in but hoping her sister might be there. Not that she had ever been able to get close to Kath.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind but could I come in and wait for Brigid?’ Despite all her efforts, Rebekah’s voice trembled.

  Kath frowned. ‘I suppose yer’d better.’

  Rebekah felt the colour rise in her cheeks. ‘If you’d rather I didn’t – I could come back.’

  ‘No. Come in.’ Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinised Rebekah’s face. ‘You look like yer’ve been in the wars but I’m not going to ask questions. I’m doing the ironing. Our Brigid’ll sort yer out.’ Her glance passed over the loaded car. ‘I’ll help yer with the pram and then yer can take it round the back with the baby in.’ Rebekah thanked her, hoping that Brigid would not be long.

  The children came in first and Veronica fussed over the baby. Brigid was soon after them. ‘What is it, Becky luv? I didn’t expect to see yer this soon.’ She looped her handbag over the door knob and pulled off her gloves. ‘Come in the other room and tell me what happened?’

  Rebekah told her.

  Brigid’s mouth tightened. ‘The pig! What are yer going to do? Mam’ll say that there’s a place here as long as yer need it, but it’s not what yer used to and I won’t always be here.’ She toyed with a button on her dress. ‘Joe and I have decided to get married at the end of July.’

  Rebekah smiled. ‘I’m glad for you both. And I’m not planning on staying for ever. Just until I find my feet. I’d have gone to Aunt Esther’s only that would be the first place Joshua would look for me. After that it would be Edwina’s.’

  ‘He won’t think of coming here?’ said Brigid.

  Rebekah hesitated. ‘I don’t think he knows that I’m still friends with you.’

  ‘Hmmph! You never know. You’ll have to be careful.’

  That night David slept in a drawer while Rebekah shared Brigid’s double bed. It took some time for Rebekah to sleep as her mind was trying to formulate plans for hers and David’s future. The trouble was that there was a great big ‘if’ over the weeks and months ahead.

  The next few days Rebekah discovered what hard work it really was looking after a baby without nurse’s help. Dealing with nappies and wet bedding with no running hot water was a never-ending chore, although there was a certain satisfaction in seeing the washing blowing on the line in the yard despite the smuts it collected. But it was not all work, and she enjoyed taking David for his walk. She was often stopped by women in the street who, talking nonsense to her son, made comments about his dark curls. In return he favoured a few with a toothless smile.

  Ma Maisie doled her out a share of the household tasks and often asked Rebekah to do the shopping. She had some money of her own and would sometimes buy a special treat for the supper table as well as contributing to expenses. It was while shopping that she came out of a shop about a week after leaving Joshua to find the pram with David in it missing. She tried not to panic, but after scouring the road, shops and sidestreets, her anxiety was pitiful. She ran home to Kath and poured out what had happened. She alerted the neighbours and they joined the search but came back empty-handed.

  The local bobby was informed and asked Rebekah some pertinent questions about her married status. When she said that she had left her husband, he proved to be unsympathetic. ‘Maybe you should go home, Missus,’ he said, closing his book. ‘Perhaps the little lad’s there.’

  The idea that Joshua might have snatched David had been at the back of her mind since she had discovered him missing but the thought of returning to his house had caused her to search every other avenue first. Now she had to face facts. Somehow her husband had guessed where she was hiding. Fearing that he might do something to David and not waiting for Brigid to come home, Rebekah got in the car and drove to her former home.

  Joshua opened the door to her. ‘I want my son,’ she demanded, burning flags of colour high on her cheeks. ‘What have you done with him?’

  His mouth curved in a smile that did not affect the chill light in his eyes. ‘Rebekah! I was expecting you. Do come in?’

  ‘I don’t want to come in. I want David!’

  He scowled. ‘I’m not having a wrangling match with you on the doorstep for the neighbours and passers-by to listen to. Haven’t you embarrassed me enough, leaving me the way you did? I won’t tell you anything unless you come inside. No! Come round the back first.’

  Rebekah glared but accompanied him. ‘Is David out in the garden in his pram?’

  ‘You’ll see,’ he said.

  She saw all right. No pram but he had chopped off the head of Andromeda. ‘Is this another sick joke of yours?’ she demanded after several seconds. ‘Where is my baby?’

  You don’t like it? I think she looks better. Come and have a drink and I will explain all.’ He took her elbow and hustled her inside and into the sitting room. ‘Do sit down.’ He pushed her on the sofa and went over to the drinks cabinet. ‘A brandy for your nerves?’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with my nerves.’ she retorted, clasping her hands tightly to stop herself from hitting him.

  ‘A cup of tea, then?’ He rang the bell and a maid entered and took his order. She glanced curiously at Rebekah.

  ‘Where’s Janet?’ asked Rebekah as soon as she was out of the room.

  ‘I decided to dispense with her services.’ He opened a cigar box and offered it to her, sighing heavily when she shook her head. ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured. ‘I forgot that you didn’t. I suppose the tea will help to calm you down.’

  ‘Seeing my son will calm me down.’ She rose her feet. ‘Is he upstairs? I’ll go to him.’

  Joshua blocked her way. ‘A waste of time. He’s not there.’

  ‘Let me see.’ She tried to go round him but he only moved with her.

  ‘Believe me, Rebekah, he isn’t in the house!’ His tone was emphatic.

  She stared at him. ‘How did you find him? Where is he? What have you done to him?’

  ‘A letter from your common friend inside one of your books.’ He exhaled a fragrant cloud. ‘The boy’s in a safe place. An orphanage actually.’

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ she stammered. ‘Why would you—’

  Joshua smiled. ‘Why indeed? But don’t you think his father might still be alive? Or perhaps he’s really dead now?’

  Rebekah was silent.

  Joshua’s left eyelid twitched rapidly and the cheroot smouldered between his lips as he spoke jerkily. ‘You might say his father is very much alive. That I am the father! I would like to believe you, my dear, but—’ He cleared his throat. ‘I’m going to Ireland. Someone in that Godforsaken village must have seen something. I have a photograph of O’Neill. Money talks. If he was there—’ He paused expectantly. ‘You could save me a jou
rney, Rebekah.’

  ‘And you could tell me the truth.’ She was trying her hardest to keep calm. ‘Where is my baby?’

  Joshua’s fist curled and it was obvious that he was struggling for control as much as she was. ‘The truth, my sweet, my love, is that you are an adulteress and as such must pay for your sins. Your son, as I said, is in an orphanage.’

  Before she could speak there was a knock on the door and Joshua answered it, taking the cup from the maid, shutting the door and turning the key in the lock as Rebekah moved towards the door.

  ‘Joshua, you’re crazy!’ She clenched her fists. ‘Unlock that door. This isn’t Victorian times, you know! Let me out!’

  He smiled and pocketed the key. ‘I’m the king of the castle, remember? You should think before you act.’

  She moistened her mouth. ‘Joshua, you can’t keep me here.’

  He said quietly. ‘Drink your tea. I’m going to have a brandy.’

  ‘Dear God,’ she cried, ‘I don’t want tea! I don’t want brandy! I want my son!’

  ‘The good Lord would agree with what I’m doing,’ said her husband, pouring out a generous measure of spirit. ‘You’re a wicked woman. Drink your tea before it gets cold.’

  ‘You hypocrite! What about you and your prostitutes?’

  ‘It’s different for men.’

  Her eyes glittered. ‘The old excuse! Will you tell me where David is?’

  ‘I might if you calm down and drink your tea.’

  She stared at him and then sat down, picking up her cup. ‘Well?’

  ‘Well what?’ He swirled the brandy, watching her.

  ‘Where’s David?’ Her mouth was dry so she drank the tea.

  ‘I’ve told you – I’m not going to have him back here, Rebekah. I’ll tell people that he died and that grief turned your brain.’

  Suddenly she could not believe that it was all happening. It must be a nightmare. She stared at him as he took a large mouthful of brandy. ‘I loved you once, Rebekah. We could have been happy but you turned against me.’

  She was starting to feel strange and hysteria rose inside her. ‘You caused me to turn against you! You were cruel and you lied to me.’