Lonesome Men

by Edward Kendrick

  While Rob got out plates, cups, and silverware, Darren took the bacon out of the pan, putting it on a platter, drained out most of the grease, and then poured the eggs into the pan before putting bread in the toaster. A few minutes later, the eggs joined the bacon on the platter, with the toast along one side. He set it on the kitchen table, got butter and jam, and smiled when Rob got the coffee pot to fill their cups.

  At least he’s not shy about carrying his own weight, so far. Let’s hope that continues.

  Breakfast was eaten in relative silence, each man wrapped up in his own thoughts. Once the dishes were in the dishwasher, Darren broached the subject of Rob’s filing a complaint against the men who had assaulted him.

  “Isn’t it a bit late in the day to do that?” Rob asked.

  “Better now than never,” Darren replied. “It’ll be on record, which means I won’t be the only one looking for them, once you’ve given us a decent description of what they look like.”

  “Like punks,” Rob spat out.

  Darren chuckled. “We’ll need a bit more than that. Why don’t you come in with me so we can get that taken care of before I have to go on duty?”

  While he didn’t look as if he liked the idea, Rob nodded, rubbing the arm that had been fractured—which was now healed. “I need socks,” he muttered, heading upstairs.

  He needs new clothes, period. But I’ll leave that up to him, if I can convince him to look for work. Maybe, with him living here, it’ll be easier. Darren hoped so, because having a job would go a long way to giving Rob a feeling he was back in control of his life.

  An hour later, Rob had done as Darren asked and filed a complaint, with a decent description of the men who had assaulted him.

  Then Darren had suggested Rob head back to the house, or if he felt he needed to panhandle, to the mall close to it. He used his phone to find out which bus would drop Rob off at the mall and told him how to get home from there. Before he could ask him, Rob said he had enough change for the bus, and that he’d see him in the morning.

  Because Zack was standing nearby, he’d overheard their exchange. As soon as Rob left, he said, “He’s living with you? Are you kidding?”

  “Nope. It’s called protective custody, until we catch the guys who beat him up.”

  “Uh-huh.” Zack shook his head. “More like you being a do-gooder and using that as an excuse. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  “I do, too,” Darren said under his breath as they headed for roll call.

  Chapter 4

  “Did they give you any hassle about using this as a safe house for me?” Rob asked as soon as Darren got home early Friday morning.

  Darren shrugged as he walked past Rob toward the kitchen.

  Rob grabbed his arm. “Were they okay with it?” he demanded.

  “What they don’t know won’t kill them,” Darren replied, looking at Rob’s hand wrapped around his bicep.

  Rob released him, saying tightly, “Don’t put your career in jeopardy for me. I’m not worth it.”

  “I think that’s my decision to make. As far as I’m concerned, you are worth it. Now, what do we want for dinner?”

  “Suddenly, I’m not hungry,” Rob replied angrily as he started toward the stairs.

  “Don’t do this, damn it. If they ask, and they won’t because no one knows you’re here, I’ll tell them I offered you a place to stay until you got on your feet.”

  “Like they’ll believe that,” Rob muttered, but he didn’t continue on upstairs. “No one?”

  “Well, no one except my partner, and he’ll keep it on the hush-hush.”

  “Okay, I guess. Sorry I blew up. I didn’t get back here until well after midnight, and then I didn’t sleep too well.” He grimaced. “I heard you drive up, which tells you something.”

  “That you’re still getting used to sleeping in a real bed and not having to worry about anyone bothering you.”

  “Pretty much. I did make some money, before a security guard at the mall politely suggested I leave.” Rob laughed dryly. “As least he was polite, which is more than I can say for some of the ones I’ve run into downtown.”

  “The ones down there are hired to chase off any Travelers, and they don’t seem to discriminate between them and the regulars. But then, unfortunately, neither do some of my fellow officers.”

  “Yeah. You’re the exception, I think,” Rob replied as he followed Darren into the kitchen. “Why don’t you go change out of your uniform while I make us dinner?”

  “You cook?”

  Rob nodded, grinning. “Remember? One of my jobs when I got back to the city was as a short-order cook. I was pretty damned good at it but…” He shook his head.

  “Your temper got the best of you, you said.”

  “Yeah. It still does sometimes, but not near as bad as back then. Anyway, get your ass upstairs so I can cook in peace.”

  Darren laughed, and did. By the time he’d showered and put on jeans and a T-shirt he could smell something delicious wafting up the stairs. It made his mouth water.

  “Whatever you’re cooking is making me drool,” Darren said when he walked into the kitchen.

  “Hamburger Stroganoff. Amazingly, you had everything I needed, including sour cream and cream cheese.”

  “I did? I mean, yeah, I guess. The sour cream was for baked potatoes. The cream cheese? Hell if I remember.”

  “Well, it hadn’t gone past the ‘sell-by’ date, so it’s still good.” Rob stirred the mixture in the pan, then checked the noodles. Deeming them ready, he dumped them into a large serving bowl and poured the Stroganoff over them. While he was doing that, Darren set the table.

  “Do you ever eat in the dining room?” Rob asked.

  “Rarely. Even when my son lived here, we generally ate in the kitchen. It’s easier.”

  “I never asked, but I presume you’re divorced,” Rob said as they sat down.

  Darren nodded. “She’s remarried, since then.” He went on to explain why Jesse had ended up living with him.

  “How can someone not want kids in their life?” Rob muttered as he filled his plate. His expression darkened.

  “It happens. In this case I’m not complaining. I got Jesse full-time after she met the guy, decided to cede to his wishes, and then married him.”

  “I got the army,” Rob said under his breath.

  “Because the same thing happened to you?”

  Rob shrugged. “Not really.” He looked at Darren. “I told you I came from a large family. A good one, until…Okay, maybe you figured it out already. Maybe not. I’m gay.” He said it defiantly.

  “I did. I take it when you told them, they weren’t happy.”

  “Not even. They didn’t kick me out, but they sure didn’t treat me like they wanted me around anymore. I was old enough at that point, so I enlisted. The rest…well, you know what happened.”

  “I do. By the way, I don’t give a damn about you being gay.” Darren smiled wryly. “If I did, I’d be in deep shit, since I am, too.”

  “Fuck. Are you serious? But you were married!”

  Darren nodded. “I was in denial for way too long. When I finally came to terms with it…” He chuckled. “My wife said she figured it out even before I did. The divorce was amiable, and I ended up with Jesse in the end, so it all worked out.”

  “He accepts it? Or does he know?”

  “He knows, and has no problem with it. Now, if he’d quit trying to set me up with someone.”

  Rob laughed. “I think you might have solved that problem. Or will have, once he finds out I’ve moved in.” Again his expression darkened. “At least for the time being, until you all catch those punks.”

  “Longer than that,” Darren replied. “They’ll go to trial, hopefully. Until they end up in prison, you won’t really be safe. We talked about that.”

  “Yeah, we did.” Rob went silent, turning his attention to dinner, so Darren did the same.

  * * * *

  He’s ga
y. Never would have figured that in a million years. Rob took another bite of his Stroganoff. Guess it disproves the idea all cops are straight and homophobic. Hell, I know all of them aren’t, but still…He looked at Darren under half-closed eyelids, dropping his gaze when he realized Darren was watching him. He’s already wondering if he made a wise decision, asking me to stay here.

  “You’re a good cook,” Darren commented a bit later, as he finished off the last bite of his meal.

  “Practice, although it’s been forever since I’ve had a chance to prove it,” Rob replied.

  “You’ll get your chance, now that you’re here. I’ll share the cooking chores with you. I can deal with breakfasts without killing anyone. Dinners? Eh.”

  “Not true,” Rob retorted. “That stew was damned good. Still, yeah, sure. I don’t mind as long as I’ve got something to work with.”

  “Then we’ll go shopping next Monday and you can pick out what you need.”

  Rob had a sudden thought and voiced it. “Are you trying to get me back in practice so I can find a job at a restaurant?” He wasn’t certain if he liked the idea, if that was the case. He didn’t need someone trying to run his life.

  “Caught me,” Darren replied, grinning. “Not really, though. When it comes to a point where you might decide to look for a job, however, it won’t hurt that you’ve brushed up on your skills.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” If I stick around…If he wants me to, then I guess I’ll have to get a real job. What are the chances that’ll happen, though? Slim to none. He’s a do-gooder and I’m his latest project. Not an idea that made Rob happy, but the truth, he figured.

  “If we want dessert, there’s ice cream in the freezer,” Darren said as he began clearing the table.

  “I’ll pass, but go ahead,” Rob replied, getting up to help. He joked, “I wouldn’t want to destroy my boyish figure.”

  “I suspect it will take a lot more than ice cream to do that,” Darren told him. “Now me…” He patted his stomach.

  “You don’t have anything to worry about, but if you’re not going to have some, then go to bed. I can handle the dishes.”

  “If you say so.”

  Rob watched Darren leave the kitchen then began rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Since it wasn’t full, he decided to wait until Darren woke up to run it. When he finished, he went into the living room and found Darren watching a morning newscast.

  “Hot and sunny, and I get to sleep the day away,” Darren commented when Rob took a seat in the armchair. “Story of my life, except on my days off.”

  “Mondays and…?”

  “Right now that’s it, because of guys taking vacations. Starting next week, I’ll be back on my regular schedule, meaning I’m off Monday’s and Thursdays.”

  “Do you always work graveyard?”

  Darren nodded. “By choice. I don’t have a family at home now, like a lot of the other guys, so I don’t mind it.”

  “Doesn’t do much for your social life, I bet.”

  “What social life?” Darren rolled his eyes. “Dinner with my son and his girlfriend is about the extent of it. Not that I care that that’s it, these days. What social life I used to have sort of ended when Jesse came to live with me and I got used to being a homebody. I did meet someone, after that happened, but it didn’t work out. The guy couldn’t handle my being a cop. Since then…” He shrugged.

  “Now, you’ve got me for when you want someone to talk to. At least for the time being.”

  “Yep.” Darren smiled at him before returning his attention to the TV.

  They continued watching the news show, all three hours of it, occasionally talking about some of the stories. Rob wondered if this was Darren’s usual routine, before going to bed. Probably. That or reading, or maybe working in the yard. He said he shops and cleans house on his days off.

  After the program was over, Darren got up. “Feel free to keep watching, if you want,” he said as he started upstairs. “I’ll see you this evening before I leave for work.”

  Rob nodded. He wasn’t tired, despite not having slept much before Darren got home. So I have two choices. Sit here, zoning out on TV until exhaustion sets in, or go out and make a few pennies to contribute to our expenses.

  He decided going out was the better alternative. Not to the mall, though. I don’t want to run into that security guard. He might not be quite so polite next time. Then he realized it was undoubtedly too early for the mall to be open, anyway.

  He thought about changing clothes to look less respectable, and laughed. No matter what I wear, I’m not going to look like I’m a businessman on my way to work. He did go up to get his backpack, however. It added to the ‘I’m needy and could use some spare change’ look he was going for.

  Letting himself out of the house, after disarming and re-arming the security, he made his way to Oxford Avenue, which was only a few blocks away. He found a spot close to a couple of restaurants and a coffee shop that he thought would work. Given that it was lunch hour by then, he was right. There were plenty of people going to and from the restaurants, some of whom made it a point to drop spare change in his cup. Others, of course, looked at him in disgust. But they didn’t make disparaging comments, unlike some of the folks who had passed by him when he panhandled downtown.

  While he sat, smiling at and thanking those people who contributed to his ‘welfare’, he considered what Darren had said. I’ve avoided even thinking about becoming, what? A productive member of society? Yeah. I’ve avoided it for so long, has it become a habit to resist the idea of getting an honest job? Not that I can. Not looking like this. He glanced down at what he was wearing, which had definitely seen better days.

  One night sleeping in a decent bed, a couple of real meals in a house, not a diner, and I’m suddenly thinking about job hunting? Am I getting soft in the head? What happens when he tells me it’s time for me to move on? He knew the answer to that, or at least part of it. If it happened, and he was sure it would, if he did have a job he could afford a cheap place to stay. Because by then, the idea of going back to the streets won’t look so good. I’m not getting any younger. Maybe…

  He thanked a man who had dropped a couple of dollars into his cup, and then counted what he’d made so far. It wasn’t much, and he did owe it to Darren to give it all to him. But if I stopped over there, on the way home…He was looking at a near-new shop half a block away, across the street.

  Then he snorted softly. “New duds won’t get me a job, even if I want one. I don’t have any references, to start with. Even cheap diners would want something to say I know what I’m doing.”

  What if I did find someone who’d hire me? If things got stressful, and they can, and I blow up again like I used to, or like I did with Darren this morning, I’d be out on my ear. Yeah, forget that idea.

  He stayed where he was for a while longer, until the foot traffic slowed as people went back to work. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he moved down a few blocks, closer to some small shops, a grocery store, and a couple of gas stations.

  The pickings were leaner, since it was early afternoon. Still, he made a few dollars more. He did better as the afternoon progressed and more of what he figured were locals who lived in the area stopped by the shops. By four, he was definitely feeling his lack of sleep. It didn’t stop him from impulsively crossing the street to the near-new shop. When he left, he had a pair of decent jeans and a button-down shirt. Even after purchasing them, he had enough money to give Darren to make him feel as if he was holding up his end of the bargain—to pay something in rent. It’s only day one, well, day two if I count what I made last night. By the end of the week, I’ll really be contributing a share of what it’s costing him to feed me.

  That idea made him feel better. “Now if my buying new clothes means I’ll actually get my ass in gear and at least see if one of those restaurants could use me,” he said under his breath. A decision he was far from making at that point, but it w
as lurking in the back of his mind.

  As soon as he returned to the house, he hung up his new clothes, took a shower, and then went down to the kitchen to see if there was something he could make them for dinner. Or more like breakfast, all things considered. He was staring into the fridge when he heard Darren coming down the stairs.

  * * * *

  “I hope my showering didn’t wake you,” Rob said when Darren came into the kitchen late that Friday afternoon.

  “Nope. I sleep like the dead, meaning it’s a good thing I’ve got a persistent alarm clock,” Darren replied. “Did you get some sleep?”

  Rob shook his head, then took a handful of bills from his pocket, handing them to Darren. “Take this, before I go wild and spend it on something useless,” he said with a small grin. “The first payment on my rent.”

  “Rob, you don’t have to,” Darren protested.

  “Yeah, I do. That was the deal.” He returned his attention to the eggs and sausage he’d taken out. “Scrambled or fried.”

  “If we’re going to keep to the deal—” Darren made finger quotes, “—then move over. I’m the breakfast cook.”

  Rob moved, leaning against the counter as he watched Darren turn the eggs into an omelet, adding some tomato and cheese. As he did, he realized something. Not that he hadn’t before but…He’s a good man. He’s also—and this had never struck home before—not bad looking. Not a fashion model, but still a good looking man for his age. He smiled to himself. Like I’m one to talk. I’m almost as old as him.

  He came out of his reverie when Darren said something about setting the table. With a nod, Rob did, while wondering if there was more to his thoughts about Darren’s looks than just noticing them. If knowing that Darren was gay had anything to do with it. Naw. Why would it matter? It’s not like I plan on exploring the fact we both are. He’d send me packing in a heartbeat if I even tried. Who’d want to hook up with a loser?

  Grabbing the coffee pot, he poured them each a cup. By that time, Darren had breakfast on the table and they sat down to eat.

  “So what are your plans for tonight?” Darren asked.