Braving The Risk

by Trent Russell

  Even Tara seemed to realize this, and her expression softened as well. “That was pretty cool the way you shot Cyrus,” she quickly added.

  The trio then fell silent until Carl reached the edge of the grassy field. There was a small ravine, not very deep, but it would do for quick disposal of the bodies. Ilario, Kronish, and Mayfield already lay there, facedown.

  Before Carl and Tara could offload the bodies, Whitney walked around until she hovered over Ilario. Then she angrily spat onto the back of his head. She slowly backed up as Carl and Tara dumped the three corpses on top of the three already down there.

  “So, what do you want to do now?” Carl’s eyes met Whitney’s. “How about coming with us? There’s an army base I’m aiming for. There may be food and supplies there.”

  Whitney shook her head. “Look, I already was planning to bug out to my place. I’m going to load up and go from there.”

  “Is it far? If you’re walking back into the city, it’s going to be very dangerous,” Carl said.

  “It’s in the ‘burbs. A couple of miles from here. I probably could get there if I left now. I already scooped some snacks to get me there,” Whitney said.

  “You sure?” Tara asked. “I know what it’s like to be out there alone, or even with another person, and it’s not pretty.”

  “Trust me,” Whitney said, “you don’t want me with you, and I don’t think those people in there do either. I mean, some of them maybe saw me with Cyrus and John and Scott. So, I’m probably screwed if I stay here or go with you.”

  “I could tell them to back off and leave you alone,” Carl said. “We all should be in this together.”

  Whitney chuckled. “Thanks, Captain America, but I really do better by myself. No offense. Thanks for offering the help, but I really don’t want to be reminded of what I went through, and staying with you guys would do that.” She grasped her arms and pulled them tight.

  Carl and Tara ultimately acquiesced to Whitney. She bid them farewell, then hurried off across the grassy field in the direction of the suburbs.

  Carl leaned over Shyanne. The little girl was nestled on the mall bench, a blanket covering her. Dozens of survivors slept on the floor in the mall corridor or in the food court, able to take advantage of the higher ceiling and better air flow. “Comfy?” he asked.

  “Yep!” she said, pulling the blanket taut.

  “I’m very proud of you,” Carl said. “You were very brave, and you didn’t let yourself get flustered by Jason or any of his goons.” Then he sighed. “It scared the hell out of me, though.”

  Shyanne laughed. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Tara wanted me to thank you for saving Michael also. She would have told you, but she’s completely spent.”

  “She wants to be with Michael,” Shyanne said.

  “She does. But it’s going to be hard for her because Michael’s not himself. He got hurt really badly. Right now, he doesn’t seem able to talk very much,” Carl explained.

  A round of coughing drew their attention. Preston reclined near the water fountain. The man tossed and turned on the floor. It seemed he had not been able to settle down in his slumber.

  “Is Mister Preston going to be okay?” Shyanne asked.

  “I’m sure he is,” Carl said, although he said it with some concern. He realized that both of his adult friends from the start of this journey were nursing their own hurt. Although they had won the day, there still was a lot of pain to work through as they continued their search for a new haven.

  A short time later, once Shyanne had dropped off to sleep, Carl approached Preston. The man still was awake, sweat dripping down the sides of his head.

  “You could have slept on one of the beds in Kelly’s Boutique or Marianne’s,” Carl said.

  “I left those for the families and the kids like Ricardo. They need a soft bed more than I do. I’m sure they were happy finally to sleep somewhere other than that sealed-off second floor.” Preston grimaced before continuing. “Besides, it’s too hot in those stores. Hell, it’s too hot in here, but at least it’s a bit cooler.”

  Carl nodded. “I guess it still takes a while for the body to get used to not having the air conditioning blowing on you at night. I had to live out in the desert, so I barely notice it now.”

  “Lucky for you.” Preston rolled onto his back. “Did you ever find Ron or Drake?”

  “Naah. I think they fled. Our search parties covered this place with a fine-toothed comb. Went through every store, closet, stairwell, elevator shaft, you name it.”

  “Good. I remember those two from when I fled with Shyanne. I’ll sleep better if I know they’re gone. If I can sleep at all.” Preston then shook his head. “Carl, how do you handle it?”

  “Handle the heat? Well, like I said, it’s all about getting used to—”

  “I don’t mean the heat. I mean taking another person’s life. Killing someone, pulling the trigger. That.” Preston gritted his teeth. “I think about it every few minutes. It’s the one thing I never wanted to do. I never thought I’d have to use that goddamned gun. Now I…I can’t undo it. I can’t take it back. And it’s stupid, so stupid. He was about to kill you. I should feel good about killing him. So why don’t I?”

  Carl exhaled slowly. “In the armed forces, we kill because it’s necessary. It’s not something to feel joyful or exuberant about. I don’t know a single man who does handstands about taking out the Martyr’s Army. Some of us don’t feel good about it at all. But we keep in mind what’s at stake. We know that every terrorist, every insurgent, every man who seeks to do harm to Americans here or overseas, or any innocent, once he’s put down, someone somewhere won’t have their life snuffed out. A mom still will go to the market, a child will go to school, and a father will go to work. Their lives are going to go on. A bomb or a bullet isn’t going to snuff them out.”

  Then he looked down at Preston. “If you feel bad about taking out Jason, just remember he forfeited his own life by going after all those innocent people. No one can expect to keep their life if they use it to try ending another’s. That’s part of the natural law of the human race. It’s not an easy truth, but…” He gazed at the mall around them. “Well, just look at all these people who might not be alive if we hadn’t acted.”

  Preston raised his head and looked around. “Yeah,” he said softly, “it’s true, Carl. It is. Thanks.”

  Carl continued his walk through the corridor. By now he had not encountered anyone who was still awake except for the few men appointed as night watch. Also, in addition to zip tying the mall doors, Jason had used debris from around the mall to block up the glass doors at the main entrance. Carl decided to maintain that barrier, to help provide as security.

  Tara slept on the ground near Michael, who also slumbered. The pair rested a short space apart from each other. Even in sleep, Tara seemed to long for Michael’s touch, with her arm outstretched toward Michael’s. Yet, a few inches separated the two. With Michael’s condition, it seemed he might never again reach for Tara’s touch. Carl only hoped that with time, Michael would heal and return to his senses. But if he had suffered brain damage, such healing may be a long time coming, if it ever came at all.

  There were enough night watchmen for Carl to get some sleep of his own. Yet, even in his battered state, he was avoiding the respite of sleep. Perhaps he worried that sleep would provide no sanctuary for him. As he walked, he could smell the hot dust of the desert beneath his feet and hear the chatter of his unit. Today’s events had awakened war memories.

  The risk always lives. It would live for Carl Mathers. He would have to live each day winning the peace.

  He turned around, then circled back to the sleeping Shyanne. Fatigue finally overcame him. He slid down to the floor to rest by her bench. Even without a blanket or a mattress underneath him, he felt comfortable.

  Perhaps because he realized that, at least for today, he successfully had won the peace.

  Find out what happens in part t
hree! Coming soon!

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