Alicia's Folly

by C A Vincent

  Adrenaline surged as he heard Alicia speaking to her – his – sons. When she asked what they thought of her selling the house and taking them on a trip, he nearly had a stroke. She sounded so damn sad.

  His first thought was that she would take them away somewhere where he wouldn’t have access. Then he remembered the bank account Mager told him about. The one she’d started so she could bring them to see him. He calmed his racing heart and listened for a few more seconds to see if they would answer. When all he heard was the beginning strains of children’s music, he frowned and knocked on the door.

  Did they answer her? Was the subject dropped? Would she really sell her house in order to come up with the money to take them to Miami? Why wait until now? All of these questions and more raced through his mind as he waited for their answer. When they didn’t and the song looped through a second time, he knocked again.

  By the end of the third loop – obviously their favorite song – he realized they couldn’t hear him. Desperate to see them, he tried the door. It was unlocked. Nate sucked in a deep breath. Did he dare? The last thing he wanted to do was scare them. He knocked again, this time with more force. After about thirty seconds more of no response, he walked in.

  Nate closed the door quietly behind him, feeling very much like a stalker-creep. His heart stuck in his throat, he took two steps toward the sound of the music and laughter and peeked around the doorjamb.

  Seeing his sons for the first time as they danced with their mother made him go weak in the knees. Worried he’d topple over and terrify them, he knelt and feasted with his eyes on the sight of his baby boys. Two identical blond heads were bobbing and weaving. Two sets of chubby arms and legs were tossing and flailing with wild abandon. Even he could see the similarities ended there, though.

  One of them seemed rough-and-tumble, with his hip-hoppy break-dance moves and the other was gentler as he kicked and twirled in an imitation of ballet. Neither of them was keeping in time with the silly song about hamsters. He’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life. Except their mother, of course.

  For a split second, Nate tore his gaze away from his twisting and turning sons to look at Alicia. Deep pain lanced his heart when he saw how incredibly thin she was. She was barely a shadow of herself, he realized, taking in the sight of the many visibly outlined bones in her body. He felt he was somehow to blame.

  The “if only’s” he’d been plagued with since finding her letters and the other various packages sent by Mager and a Judge Herman Michaels whirled and twisted through his mind in a dance that rivalled his sons’ wild abandon. She’d developed a nervous stomach, Mager said. He’d dragged her to countless specialists over the last two years to no avail. Her GP threw up his hands at the end of it all and declared “nerves” to be her illness. For her seeming frailty though, she appeared to be happy as she danced with her babies.

  His attention back on them, he watched as their frantic spins and twists brought them alongside each other. Then, out of the blue and without saying anything to one another, they both started doing a robot dance. Their moves were as identical as they were, not to mention in perfect sync as they squared themselves up, turned and stomped. Nate was sure his jaw was on the floor as Alicia laughed out loud and dropped to her knees in front of them.

  Jealousy and envy surged through him as she pulled them in for a hug. Even in her silliness, the way she held them was protective and loving. Seeing her like that reminded him of the times he was in that same space, that same circle of love and comfort and, all of a sudden, he wanted to be in it again. Hell, he didn’t just want it. He needed it. With his heart jammed solidly in his throat, he called out softly.

  “Can I have some, too?” he asked, terrified and hopeful, both at the same time.

  Chapter 28

  At the sound of an unfamiliar voice in her house, Alicia practically flung Ryan and Tristan behind her. In the next instant, she was on her feet and moving toward the kitchen, her phone, and the patio doors to the back yard. She was just grabbing the handset when her brain registered the angles and lines of the face of the intruder in her home. Shaking from her head to her feet, she turned to look at him again.

  As her pace slowed, then came to a stop altogether, Ryan cried for her to hurry up. Hearing the terror in her son’s voice caused something protective and primal to well up inside her. With a shriek of pure, unadulterated rage, she flew at Nate.

  “How dare you! How dare you scare my babies,” she screamed. She clawed and kicked and punched at him with all her might. At first he withstood the onslaught, likely because he was too shocked to react. Then he caught her wrists and pinned them behind her back. One of his big hands held them while his other arm pinned her against him, writhing and hissing. She’d never been so furious in her life.

  “You left,” he said. He was looking down into her face as he spoke. His brown eyes were blazing with – pity? Alicia howled with rage and renewed her fight. Within minutes, she was tapped out. Angry and terrified, she slumped against Nate and broke down.

  “Don’t take them. Don’t take them from me. I did everything I could to get a hold of you. I couldn’t afford to bring them to see you. Not yet. I was – Mmmphh!”

  * *

  Nate silenced her with a kiss. He didn’t mean to. There were too many unanswered questions. He wanted everything resolved between them before they decided whether they would try to pick up where they left off. But seeing her, holding her and feeling how frail she was, did something to him and his resolve to stand firm vanished like smoke on the wind.

  “You left,” he breathed into her face, breaking the kiss.

  “Phillip d-i-e-d,” she answered, spelling out the word. He spared a glance at his boys. They were huddled, hugging and terrified in a corner of the dining room. Guilt crashed through him.

  “I didn’t mean to walk in. I – wanted to see them. I – ”

  “So you got my letters then?” she asked. Her voice was tight with pain and confusion. It tore at his gut. He made a silent vow to make Eileen, Marjorie and Debbie pay for what they’d done.

  “Not until the day you talked to Dimitri,” he said. “When he told me what you said, I couldn’t figure out why, after three years, you would still be wanting to get in touch with me. Especially after the way you left.” Nate knew he sounded like a broken record, but he wanted the full story. There was more to Phillip’s death and her departure than Alicia was telling. He could feel it in the set of her damn-near-emaciated shoulders.

  “I received a call from the morgue. They found my number in his pants pocket or something. It’s not clear, really. They said they were told he was a John Doe. If I didn’t claim and remove him right away, they were going to bury him in an unmarked grave with the latest batch of ‘Does’. I had no choice,” she explained.

  “You could have called me or left a note,” he said. Alicia scowled up at him. She obviously wasn’t finished with her story. “Sorry. Continue,” he added. No matter how thin and sickly she might be, it felt damn good to hold her again, even after all this time. He could see she was tired, though, so he carried her over to the couch and carefully sat down with her. In a flash, the boys were on them.

  “You don’t hurt my mom!” they screamed at him in unison, their round baby faces filled with a mix of fear and anger.

  “I just want her to sit,” he reassured. “She’s tired. Will you come sit with us?” They looked to Alicia for their answer. Her arms free now, she opened them wide.

  “It’s okay,” she said quietly. “I’m not hurt. Come.” They didn’t have to be told twice.

  The moment the twins were in their mother’s lap, Nate closed his arms around everyone and held them close. Exhausted, it didn’t take much for the rolling emotions inside him to bust out. No sooner did his arms close than he was wracked by silent, heaving sobs.

  * *

  Alicia didn’t get to “continue” until much, much later, after the boys were bathed and sleeping fitfully in th
eir beds. She and Nate were sitting in her favorite spot on the couch – right smack-dab in the middle, centred in front of the television – and cuddling. He seemed almost desperate to not let any of them go, and though she still had her own questions to ask, she was loathe to be away from him too.

  For the first time since getting back from Trinidad, she felt like things were, if not right, then well on their way to being there. She’d even eaten and not thrown up at all, a first for her in a very long time.

  “I went to find you,” she said quietly, breaking the uneasy silence between them.

  “I didn’t see you,” he answered.

  “You wouldn’t have. You were – kneeling in front of Liz. You were – holding, no cradling her against you. I was already upset about Phillip. I – ”

  “ – assumed she and I were back together, even after I told you there was no way that would happen,” he finished. His voice was tight with suppressed anger.

  “Emotions of the moment can change. Especially when there’s history between two people,” she countered. “How was I to know if – ”

  “Ask,” he growled. “You could have confronted me and asked me.”

  “Well then I guess I’m sorry for being human and having a knee-jerk reaction then,” she snapped. She struggled to sit up, to push away from him, but he refused to let her go. “Let me up, Nate.”

  “No. Tell me what happened between you and Justin Mager. It would have been about three or four months after you got home,” he said. This time there was a snarl in his voice, like the very mention of Justin’s name pissed him off. Alarm bells sounded at the back of her mind.

  “How do you mean?” she asked, searching her mind for some event or occasion which would prompt Nate to ask the question. There was none.

  “I mean, ‘Did you and Justin have an affair?’,” he said. Nate’s arms were steel bands around her. His body was like a concrete floor. Alicia shook her head vehemently.

  “I had no interest in him, nor he in me. He loved his wife more than life itself. Still does, if the perpetual low hum of anger coursing through him is any indication. You’re hurting me, Nate. Why do you ask?” Nate’s hold loosened, but barely. Alicia shifted uncomfortably in an effort to get him to soften up. He remained rigid.

  “That’s not what she thought,” he said. His voice was so quiet, she almost didn’t hear him.

  “I don’t understand. Do you know Eileen?” She tried to turn in Nate’s arms, but, once again, he pinned her in place. “Let me go, damn you!” she snapped, becoming angry. “What the hell is going on? I’m not some cheap whore who throws herself at men, least of all married men. And for the record, I was sicker than sick around that time. Hell, I didn’t stop being sick until about two weeks before Ryan and Tristan were born. Let. Me. Go!”

  Suddenly she was on her feet and pitching forward. In the next instant, Nate was behind her. He held her pinned against him, one arm around her waist, the other across her chest.

  “Do you remember Justin holding you like this?” he growled. Alicia started to shake her head. In mid-turn, she stopped short, remembering the day Phillip’s will was read. This was exactly how Justin held her back, how he kept her from being run over by the delivery truck.

  “I bolted out of a building into a back alley. It was slippery and a delivery truck was coming for me. Justin grabbed hold of my jacket and hauled me backward. I fought him. I was – scared out of my mind. This is how he prevented me from getting hurt. He saved my life. He – saved Tristan’s and Ryan’s lives,” she whispered. “Please. Just spit it out. What does Eileen have to do with us?”

  “She accuses you and Justin of having an affair. She says you ‘woke lustful feelings in him’ and he didn’t want her anymore. Then you supposedly insinuated yourself into their lives and destroyed her marriage.” Nate explained. He didn’t seem as tense anymore, but Alicia didn’t care.

  “How. Do. You. Know. Eileen. Mager?” she asked, biting the words out one by one.

  “She took a position in my mail room,” Nate answered. He left it at that, giving her the opportunity to do the proverbial math.

  As the full implication of his words hit home, a deep, soul-searing anger ignited in the pit of Alicia’s stomach. It burned rapidly outward, consuming her from her head to her feet. All of the self-doubt, worry and anger of the last three years turned to ash in the wake of the intense heat scorching through her. Sensing trouble, Nate released her and stepped back.

  Smart on you! she thought, whirling to face him. One look at her face had his jaw going slack. He shook his head, started to say something, but she cut him off.

  “That insipid, self-serving, stupid little bitch!” she breathed. “You can’t tell me she single-handedly prevented you from receiving every letter I sent? I routed at least a third of them through different departments throughout your company. She’s not that smart, Nate. She couldn’t have caught every last one.”

  “She had help. You already told Dimitri about your dealings with Marjorie. Turns out there was another woman on the team as well. She worked the off-hours answering service,” Nate said. He tried to pull her in close but she jerked away, out of his reach. “I didn’t know, Alicia,” he added, his voice filled with emotion. “I didn’t know.”

  “You have a ‘Contact Us’ link on your web page. After the virus problem, I was leery to use it. I did, though. Not very often, but I did. I didn’t want your whole organization thinking some woman was stalking you. What about those, Nate?” she asked, glaring up at him.

  She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. It boggled the mind to think three women would band together to become a monumental wall between her sons and Nate. And all because of some imagined slight she’d done one of them? The need to rage and wail, to confront them and show them exactly what they’d cost her, nearly choked the breath right out of her.

  All of a sudden, she realized she was choking, choking and heaving as the supper she was so proud of keeping down repeated on her in a violent rush. A strong arm wrapped around her middle while a hand bent her forward and slammed into her back.

  When it was all over and the mess was cleaned up, Nate held her close and told her of the time he called and thought she was caught up in the throes of passion. She showed him a picture of her foot all bandaged up. He swore and rained kisses all over her face.

  “I was such an ass,” he muttered.

  “No, but it does go to show we’re both of us capable of knee-jerk reactions, which makes us both human,” she argued. He kissed her again, then pulled a face.

  “Haven’t been a fan of cinnamon toothpaste since Trinidad,” he said. Alicia chuckled.

  “Funny. I love the stuff. Tristan and Ryan have your same allergy to sun screen,” she said, remembering the last time he’d pulled this kind of face.

  “That sucks. They’re so pale. What the heck are we going to do when the three of you move to Miami?”

  The room went suddenly quiet as they looked one another in the eyes. Alicia reached a shaking hand up to caress his face. She watched as he swallowed hard. His amazing chocolate eyes were bright with emotion.

  “You want us to?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. In the next instant, Alicia was crushed against Nate as he rained kisses down over her face and hair.

  “Yes, I do. I most definitely do,” he answered, again and again.

  A new kind of peace settled over her with his answer. One that filled her with happiness instead of sadness. No more waiting. No more wondering. No more angry, psycho people doing everything in their power to keep them apart. Her tears were tears of joy as they came gently together for the first time in too damn long.

  Epilogue

  “Play nice boys, or you won’t get any desert,” Alicia called out. Tristan and Ryan were playing in the sand and were starting to argue over who should have the truck with the shovel.

  “Babysitters are here, which guarantees I’m getting dessert tonight,” Nate rumbled low and soft into h
er ear. He wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her up against his warm, solid body while nuzzling her neck.

  “Mmm… Keep that up and we’ll traumatize everyone,” she answered, barely resisting the urge to grab hold of his hands and place them on her aching breasts. She couldn’t wait until they were alone so she could tell him her news.

  “Sitters are an old married couple and they’re kidless tonight. Nothing we do will faze them. And our boys are used to seeing us kiss n’ cuddle,” Nate answered, placing his hands right where she wanted him to without her having to say a word. Alicia couldn’t help the moan which escaped her as he gently lifted and supported them. “That sore?” he whispered. She nodded, then realized what he’d said.

  “What? Why would you think – ” Nate’s chuckle cut her short. It was then she realized Liz’s warnings were right on the money. He confirmed them with what he said next.

  “Babe, I know your body as well as, if not better, than you. I’ve known for weeks.” He gently turned her to their left so Liz and Dmitri wouldn’t see what he was doing as they stepped out onto the deck. Alicia pouted and pushed his hands away so she could turn to greet their friends.

  Despite the face she was pulling, she really wasn’t to upset about her plans for the night changing. Now they could talk and plan sooner, rather than later. It would be different to have Nate with her through this pregnancy. The whole experience would be less – scary – and not at all lonely, something she was deeply grateful for.

  Instead of letting her go, Nate spun her so she was facing him. “Look down,” he whispered. She didn’t have to. Her face flamed as she felt the wetness on the front of her shirt. Mortified, Alicia pressed herself against him and greeted Liz and Dmitri from within the circle of his arms.