Joyfully Yours

by Amy Lamont

  Chapter Six

  Faith was even grouchier when her alarm pulled her from sleep on Saturday than she was the day before. With a groan, she smacked her hand towards her nightstand. She was rewarded by a crash as her alarm clock hit the floor and the annoying buzzing stopped.

  She sat up, blinking to clear her eyes of sleep. No easy feat, considering she'd tossed and turned the whole night as images of her sister and Michael danced through her head. It started with replays of times she'd seen them together so far–her sister leaning in and touching his sleeve as they sat together at Thanksgiving dinner, him leaning down and laughing with Maddie in the church.

  Apparently her subconscious didn't think that was sufficient torture. Her dreams were soon plagued by other images. Michael and Maddie cuddling together under the Christmas tree at the next family holiday. Michael down on bended knee offering a ring up to Maddie. Maddie's big belly as Michael wrapped her in his arms, a huge grin dominating his handsome face as his hands caressed the spot where his child grew.

  Ugh. She slid out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom. What was wrong with her? She'd met the man a total of three times. It's not like he dumped her for her sister. She scrubbed hard at her teeth, wielding her toothbrush like a weapon as she tried to convince herself it didn't matter who Michael was interested in.

  As she got to the church a little while later, she couldn't tear her mind away from Michael. It wasn't just that he was totally drool-worthy or shared her taste in music or was such a great leader to his parishioners. It wasn't even that he'd exhibited a willingness to stand up to her mother on her behalf. Although, that certainly didn't hurt his case. But more than that, he was strong and decent and had the unique ability to see beyond the screw-up everyone else seemed to see when they looked at her.

  She paused at the bottom of the church steps. Faith pulled in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Just a friend. Just a friend. Not even that, more of an acquaintance.

  She repeated this mantra to herself several times before she started up the steps. She would not seek him out. When he spoke to her, she would be friendly but in no way flirtatious. Maybe even a little distant.

  With her new determination, she opened the heavy wooden door and headed inside. The auditorium was crowded already. Word must have gotten out about the soup kitchen and groceries. Faith searched the room, giving each area a quick scan. Not to look for Michael, but to see where she was most needed. And that’s the story she was sticking to.

  She spotted her sister bringing a pan of food out of the kitchen and dropping it into one of the warmers on the buffet table. Their mother was right behind her. Of course they were here already.

  When Faith took in the children's corner, she finally found something to smile about. Her little friend Sarah was back. She was sitting in the quietest corner of the crowded play area with a book open on her lap. It looked like only one volunteer was over there, and with at least eight children already busy playing, the woman was starting to look a little harried. Faith rushed through hanging up her coat and made a beeline for the children.

  By late afternoon, she was ready to start advocating for birth control. She'd gotten a stain of dubious origin on the seat of her black pants. She was sure her hair was sticking out in crazy spikes. The day had been so much busier than yesterday that she'd only been able to escape for one short break to wolf down a sandwich. She'd had to take not one, not two, but three small children for cleanups after they hadn’t made it to the potty on time.

  Worst of all, Michael hadn't stopped by to say hello even once.

  She told herself she didn't care. He was obviously busy. And they were just friends. Barely even that. He had no reason to stop over just to see her. But no matter how many times she repeated these things to herself, she couldn't quite make herself believe them.

  Just as these thoughts occurred to her for the millionth time that afternoon, she lifted her head to see him walking towards her.

  Oh crap. Of course he’d come over now.

  Knowing she'd be playing for his church service later today–and okay, if she were being honest, knowing she'd be seeing Michael today—she’d taken some extra care with her appearance. She overlooked her jeans and t-shirts for a pair of black pants and a blue top with a white floral pattern around the collar. The top was funky enough to suit her taste, but overall the outfit seemed conservative enough for church. She'd even managed to tame her shag of blonde hair into a smooth, more controlled style.

  Of course, that was six hours, thirty kids, three potty accidents, two screaming tantrums, and several spilled juice boxes ago. Now she felt like a limp dishrag. So of course Michael would choose now to approach her.

  "Hi, Faith."

  "Oh, Michael, I didn't see you there. Hi." That's right. She was playing it cool. She hadn't been following him with the gaze of a stalker from the moment she walked through the door this morning. Nope, definitely not.

  "Thanks for volunteering again." Michael's smile was warm and she wanted to dive right into his deep blue eyes.

  She couldn’t take her eyes off his broad shoulders and the way they filled out his green button-down shirt.

  "No problem." His warmth made it impossible for her not to offer up a warm smile of her own. He was irresistible. "It's a lot busier today."

  Michael nodded. "That's why I haven't had a chance to get over here before now. I saw you come in this morning, but every time I tried to make my way across the room, someone stopped me."

  Joy bloomed in Faith's chest. He hadn't been ignoring her. He wanted to see her as much as she wanted to see him. Maybe she was wrong about what she saw between him and Maddie yesterday.

  "I wanted to make sure you were comfortable with the music and outline for the mass for tonight. See if you had any questions."

  Wasn't that just like a bucket of ice water? Here she was having all kinds of warm fuzzies and all he wanted to do was make sure she was ready for the service this evening. Well, it was a good reminder. He saw her as nothing more than a parishioner.

  "I'm all set. All the songs you chose are ones I've played so often, I could do them in my sleep." Did her words sound a little stilted? She'd tried to sound normal, but the wooden feeling of the smile on her lips and the furrows appearing on his forehead told her maybe she hadn't been too slick in hiding her disappointment. She really was hoping he considered her someone special.

  "Everything okay?"

  "Great!"

  Overkill much? Now she sounded deranged. Maybe she should steer him away and end this torture before he decided to have her removed from the premises. She turned to check out the play area and a few more children had been dropped off. Who would have thought she’d be happy for an excuse to head back there today? "Oh, looks like I'm needed back with the kids. Don't let me hold you up. I'll see you in time for the mass."

  Michael stood staring at her for a few long moments, his hands on his hips and his head cocked to one side as if he was trying to puzzle something out. Before he had a chance to question her weirdness, she gave him a wave and as hard as it was to do, turned her back on him and walked away.

  The church service was slated for five o'clock. Faith headed over to the kitchen half an hour before that to grab a little snack. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she didn't want her stomach competing with her music either.

  She found the makings for a quick sandwich. The lasagna being served smelled delicious with its bubbling sauce and cheese, but probably not the best idea to stuff herself right before she sang. The cheese would wreak havoc with her voice. She settled for turkey on rye and found a spot at one of the long tables.

  "Mind if I join you?" Michael stood beside her, a plate in his hand.

  Since her mouth was stuffed full of turkey, she just nodded at the seat next to her. She took her time chewing and swallowing, reminding herself to keep things friendly not flirtatious.

  "All set for the service?" he asked.

  "I think so. I hav
e to admit, I'm a little nervous. I don't know if the nerves are due to singing at mass or the idea that lightening might strike when I step foot in church."

  Michael laughed, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he looked at her.

  Friendly, not flirting. Friendly, not flirting. She hoped the mantra would stop her from wondering exactly what color his eyes turned when he was in the middle of something more intimate than a conversation over a meal.

  "You'll be fine. I think God will see your volunteering to help as good enough reason not to strike you down."

  She smiled. Did he have to be so darned charming?

  "Father Michael."

  Faith held in a groan–barely–at her sister's voice behind them.

  Michael turned and smiled at Maddie. Faith couldn't help but notice it wasn't quite the same warm one he used on her. It was more the friendly acquaintance look he used on the rest of his parishioners. There didn't seem to be the laughing intimacy Faith swore she saw last night.

  "Hi. Faith and I were just grabbing a bite before tonight's service. Would you care to join us?"

  Faith held her breath. Was there a polite way to tell her sister to back off?

  "I'd love to, but I took a break already." Maddie leaned in closer to Michael as she spoke. "Thank you for asking, though."

  Oh, brother. He'd asked her to join them for a sandwich, but Maddie looked like she was being asked for her hand in marriage. Faith managed to keep her trap shut. She was just happy Maddie the Perfect wouldn't be joining them.

  "Oh, but what are you eating?" Maddie stared at Michael's plate as if it was covered in bait worms. "I know Faith isn't much of a cook, but surely she could have whipped up something more substantial than a sandwich."

  Faith snorted quietly. Gotta give Maddie points for getting in the dig about her cooking.

  "That's okay. I made the sandwich. I don't like to eat anything too heavy before a service. Otherwise I might fall asleep in the middle of the homily."

  "I was thinking the same thing." Faith gestured to her plate. "You know, not that I'd be in danger of falling asleep while you were in the middle of your service or anything like that." She couldn't help but tease him.

  Michael chuckled. "I'll have you know I've been nominated as the priest least likely to put parishioners to sleep two years running."

  Faith grinned. "Just nominated, huh? That must be some stiff competition. I hear that Father O'Malley at the Catholic church down the road gives a mean homily."

  The two laughed together. Maddie didn’t look like she was feeling much appreciation for the church humor. Her wrinkled nose and pursed lips made her look like the only thing she might appreciate was a weapon to use on her younger sister. When had this turned into a competition? Maddie had no trouble attracting men on her own. She hadn't had a dateless Saturday night since she was about fifteen years old. Was Maddie really that attracted to Michael?

  Before her sister had the chance to interrupt and point out more of Faith’s shortcomings, their mother skirted by with some dirty plates in hand. "It looks like things are picking up again, Maddie. We could use you back in the kitchen. We wouldn't want to run out of lasagna."

  Maddie's glance danced between her mother and Michael and Faith. It wasn't like she could refuse to go back and help in order to stay out here and flirt some more.

  "I guess I better get back to work. But I'll definitely see you later at mass and for the get together afterwards." Maddie laid a hand on Michael's arm for a brief moment before following her mother into the kitchen.

  Was it inappropriate to get up and do a happy dance as her sister walked away? Restraining herself, Faith took a moment to do a mental happy dance, but she couldn’t prevent the grin that touched her lips.

  She couldn't remember exactly when things had gotten so acrimonious between them, but it had been awhile since she and her sister had a conversation that didn't involve some sort of veiled–or not so veiled–barbs being exchanged. And while Michael might seem perfect for her sister, Faith couldn’t help but notice the interest hadn’t shown on Maddie’s part until she saw Michael giving Faith some extra attention on Thanksgiving.

  Chapter Seven

  Faith was surprised at how much she enjoyed the church service. Michael preached with an eye toward including everyone. Several times he mentioned welcoming members of all denominations and beliefs, or lack thereof. His passionate words inspired Faith to try and infuse her music with the same enthusiasm.

  Her jaw dropped after the first song ended and the audience broke into applause. When she looked over, Michael was grinning at her. She'd expected the service to be far more somber. She got chills as she looked out from her spot on the altar to the sea of people so excited about her music. It had been a long time since she'd felt this spark while performing.

  Her most recent gigs had been in some real dive bars around Brooklyn and a couple out on Long Island. The patrons seemed more interested in seeing the bottoms of their beer glasses than hearing her play. Over time, the lack of passion in her audience seemed to be reflected in her playing.

  She beamed a smile over at Michael as he gave his homily. She didn't know if he felt the same pull between them as she did. She didn't know if someone like him could ever be interested in someone as unconventional as her. What she did know was he had given her a gift beyond measure in pushing her to fill in tonight. He'd reminded her about her love for music and made her realize it was time to make some changes in her life to get that feeling back.

  After mass, parishioners mingled and munched on the goodies everyone brought in the gathering room behind the church. Faith piled a plate high with cookies, a brownie, and a small hunk of decadent dark chocolate cake.

  A number of the churchgoers stopped to thank her for filling in for the music director and to tell her how much they enjoyed her playing. She had a few animated discussions about the merits of one kind of music over another, and several people told her how bringing "real" music into the service–Michael's idea apparently–had brought them back to church.

  Warmth filled Faith as she took in this community. Everyone she met welcomed her and made her feel at home. She wondered if other churches were like this or if Michael had worked his magic, making everyone feel like they'd found a place they belonged.

  That thought stopped her dead in her tracks. Maybe that's all he'd been doing with her. Maybe what she’d seen as flirtation and attraction had just been Michael's normal behavior. The way he drew people in and made them feel immediately at home. Had she misjudged what was happening between them?

  Before she could get too deep into introspection, she caught sight of Michael across the room. When their eyes met, his polite smile warmed, becoming something slightly more intimate just for her. She couldn't be wrong, could she? He must feel the attraction, too.

  He held her gaze as he made his way across the room. He reached her and took one of her hands into one of his larger ones. "You were amazing tonight. I knew you were talented from the little bit you played yesterday, but tonight...I was blown away."

  "Thanks. It was more fun than I thought it'd be."

  "What did you think it would be?" Michael’s gaze swept her face.

  Her heart picked up speed and the way he looked at her made her feel like they were the only two in the room. It was like something out of a fairy tale. Their eyes meeting across the room, making their way to one another. Could this man really be interested in her? Everything in her screamed yes, except for one niggling thought teasing at the back of her mind. The thought that said she wasn't good enough for someone as kindhearted as Michael. He was better suited to someone else. Someone who could whip up meals for the soup kitchen, offer support to the members of his congregation, someone who could set an example of how to live. Someone like...her sister.

  She looked down for a moment, only to be startled by the feel of Michael's hand on her chin. He lifted her face up until their eyes met.

  "Hey, where did you go just then?"<
br />
  "Sorry." Faith shook her head. "I was just thinking about performing tonight. It's been a while since I've felt that kind of spark when I played. Thank you."

  "No, thank you. You're incredibly talented. It was a gift to all of us to get to hear you."

  Faith's eyes searched his, looking for some answers. She needed to know if he was simply grateful for her help this weekend or if he felt as amazed at finding her as she was at finding him.

  "Father Michael." The voice that broke into their staring match was familiar. Of course Maddie had to come break things up.

  "Maddie." Michael waited a moment, holding onto Faith's stare, before glancing over his shoulder at her sister. "What did you think of the service? Wasn't Faith great?"

  Maddie's mouth formed a perfect O for a second as she obviously searched for the appropriate response. "We've always enjoyed Faith’s little hobby."

  Faith bit her lip to hold in the snotty comeback she wanted to throw at Maddie. But as much as part of her wanted to snipe at her sister, the other part of her was mentally jumping up and down because her hand remained firmly held in Michael’s warm grip. Was he as loath to break the connection as she was?

  Maddie waxed poetic about the service for the next few minutes, ending by telling Michael, "I'll definitely be back next week."

  Oh, goody. Can’t wait for that. She was about to share her sarcasm with her sister until Maddie’s eyes dipped down to their joined hands. Instead, she just indulged herself by offering a teeny, tiny smug smile.

  Before Michael had a chance to respond, another church member called him over. He gave Faith's hand a quick squeeze before excusing himself to tend to the rest of his congregation, all vying for a little of his time.

  Maddie snatched Faith's upper arm, her voice coming out in a hissed whisper through her teeth. "What do you think you're doing, Faith?"