Darkest Sin

by Ashton Blackthorne

  Jeremy nearly fell over. His face went white.

  “Ash, think about what you’re doing. Take the day off. Go get laid.”

  I laughed and shook my head. Go get laid?

  “Thanks, Jeremy, but I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine. I’m thinking clearer than I have in a long time. It’s been fun, but our time together is over. I’m starting a new chapter in my life. Like I said, my attorney will be in touch. I’m cleaning out my office.”

  Jeremy bolted out of his chair.

  “Ash, think about what you’re doing. Please.”

  I pushed him aside.

  “I have. And by the way, Amber is coming with me. She’s my assistant.”

  Jeremy stood in the doorway of his office watching me walk away.

  As I walked back into my office, Amber raced in to catch me taking books off the shelves.

  “Ash! What happened?”

  “We’re done here. Blackthorne International here we come!”

  Amber beamed and threw her arms around me. I spun her around.

  “Can you get our stuff packed? I’ll have a car pick you and our stuff up later. I’m taking the afternoon off.”

  “Where will the new office be?”

  “Down the street in the Enterprise Office building. I already own an office suite there. I will call you tomorrow and let you know when to come in.”

  She nodded and went to retrieve more boxes from the storage room.

  Before I walked out of my office at Goldstein and Blackthorne for the last time, I gazed around the office smiling.

  Time to start a new chapter.

  Eleven

  Ash

  For the first time in a long time a cause for celebration didn’t take me to a strip club. It took me to the arms of one woman.

  After ordering a fantastic dinner in, Veronica was curled up next to me on the large bearskin rug on the floor in front of the fireplace in my study.

  Sipping the last of our champagne, I kissed Veronica with passionate abandon.

  “I’m so happy you’re here, Ronnie.” I whispered burying my face in her hair. She smelled so sweet.

  Veronica sat down her empty glass. She rested her head on my chest.

  “Me too, Ash. I think this is a new beginning for your business and for us. I’m so glad I came back.”

  “Is this real? Are you ready to make a commitment to me, to us?”

  Sitting up, I took her face into my hands. A surge of warmth filled me as I gazed deeply into her blue eyes. This was the time.

  “Veronica Lynn James, I love you. I want to be with you.”

  Tears welled up her eyes. Her face broke out into a giant grin.

  “Oh Ash, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that! Pinch me to prove I’m not dreaming!”

  I laughed pressing my lips to hers. We embraced and I felt her warm flesh next to mine.

  “I think you should move here.”

  Veronica stared at me.

  “Do you mean live with you?”

  I shook my head.

  “Not yet, but move here to the city.”

  Veronica sat up next to me. Her face fell slightly. Was she upset because I didn’t ask her to move in with me?

  “Ash, I didn’t expect this so soon.”

  “I thought you’d be thrilled. Ronnie, I want you close to me. I want to see you often. Not only on weekends.”

  She smiled, but there was something off about the way her eyes looked. They looked sad, forlorn.

  “Isn’t this what you wanted, Ronnie?”

  “Of course, Ash! It’s just…I’m going to have to go home and tell Bryce.”

  “Who the fuck is Bryce?”

  Veronica looked down with tears in her eyes.

  “My fiancé.”

  I bolted up from the floor.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Veronica stood up wrapping the blanket around her nude body.

  “Ash, I didn’t think it mattered. You and I were finished. I had to move on with my life. I met Bryce…”

  “I don’t care who the fuck he is. You’re still engaged? Now?”

  She nodded slowly tears spilling down her face.

  “Does he know anything about me, Ronnie?”

  “Just that you were my ex-boyfriend.”

  I felt sick. There was a deep gnawing inside my stomach. I stepped back from her and went to the window. The snow was falling outside covering the ground in a thick white blanket.

  Veronica slowly walked over to me the blanket brushing the floor as she huddled beneath it.

  “Ash, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Since you’re ready to be serious now, I will end it with him.”

  “Not that big of a deal! What the FUCK are you thinking? After what I told you about my mother?”

  Veronica was crying openly now.

  She reached out to touch my arm. I jerked away.

  “Don’t touch me! You were cheating on him with me! You are a lying bitch just like she was!”

  “No, no, no, Ash! I’m nothing like she was! I’m not married to him.”

  “Oh, so that makes it okay? You’re in a committed relationship with him. That’s all I needed to know. You should’ve broke up with him after we slept together the first time!”

  Fury was building inside me like a dam threatening to burst. There was a stabbing pain in my chest. I had never felt so betrayed.

  Not since my mother.

  The glass that encased my fragile world where I had finally felt safe enough to love and trust was shattered. The fragments pierced my heart as I sagged to the floor.

  “Ash! Are you okay?”

  Her long honey colored hair spilled down into my face. Her soft blue eyes were shining with tears.

  “Go away, Veronica.” I whispered brokenly.

  “Ash, please! I’m sorry. I didn’t know we were going to get serious!”

  “YOU CHEATED, VERONICA! That’s it. I have nothing more to say to you. Now please leave!”

  Veronica sobbed as she searched for her clothes.

  After she pulled on her sweater and jeans, she knelt beside me.

  “Ash, please talk to me. I’m so sorry. I never meant…”

  “GET OUT before I throw you out!” I screamed at her.

  Stunned by my outburst, Veronica scrambled to her feet and ran out slamming the door.

  I sat there, naked on the floor watching the snow fall. Veronica, just like my mother, had left me broken and alone.

  How would I ever trust anyone again?

  Twelve

  Veronica

  I was brought up to be a good Catholic girl. My mother died when I was young and I was raised by my father. Instead of attending prep school like many of the daughters of my father’s colleagues, I went to a strict Catholic girls’ school in the heart of Manhattan. Every Thursday I was required to attend mass. I went to weekly confession and was watched over by ruthless nuns ready to strike me down for the smallest infraction.

  My father raised me to marry a wealthy, proper man prominent in New York society. All my boyfriends were to be carefully screened by him. Before I could even go out on a date my father demanded to know the boy’s name, his parents’ name, and their occupations—practically their whole family history.

  I complied. I went on ‘proper’ dates with high society young men, even though I didn’t have the slightest interest in any of them.

  My dates would drop me off at my father’s home promptly at eleven pm as required by my father.

  Then at midnight when my father retired for the evening I would slip down the back staircase to hop in Rick’s Camaro and speed off into the night. Finally, after many months of sticky fumbling in the backseat of his car, I found myself pregnant.

  Pregnant at seventeen.

  As I gazed at myself in the mirror, I could still recall the rage on my father’s face when I told him.

  “You’re what?” He screamed. My father, normally a quiet and reserved
man, was yelling at the top of his lungs. His glasses fell to the floor and shattered as he shook with rage. His eyes bulged, his face bright red, and his breath came in angry gasps.

  “You…you…how could you do this to me? What will everyone think, Veronica?”

  Sitting in an easy chair in his office, I shrank down low. Feeling so ashamed that I wanted to die, tears began to trickle slowly down my cheeks.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy.” My voice emerged as a whimper.

  “I’m sorry, too, Veronica. What the hell am I going to do now? I’ve been planning to take you to the International Debutante Ball next year. You know that! That was your mother’s dying wish for you. How could you do this to me?” He paced angrily back and forth his footsteps quiet on the priceless Oriental rug.

  I ran my hands through my thick honey colored hair. I, too, had been looking forward to the ball, not because I wanted to marry some stuck up, blue blooded asshole, but because it was my mother’s dream for me.

  Now I’d ruined my chances of ever being invited to the ball.

  All because I couldn’t control my restless, demanding libido.

  “Daddy, I could…I could end it. Sarah Michaelson got pregnant last year. Her mother took her to a clinic out of state.”

  “Sarah Michaelson? Randolph’s daughter?” His eyes lit up briefly.

  “See, you didn’t even know she’d been pregnant.”

  My father sank down in his chair thoughtfully. We were a devout Catholic family and to even suggest an abortion was an abomination; however, my father put some things above faith.

  Like his precious reputation.

  Randolph Michaelson was a highly respected man in New York high society. He and my father played golf at least once a week. My father had grown up with Randolph. Sarah attended the same school I did and my father knew we were friendly with each other.

  But what my father didn’t know was that Sarah had never been pregnant, at least as far as I knew. I just thought that would be a good way to introduce the solution I’d been thinking about.

  The thought of ending my pregnancy sickened me, but at this point I didn’t know what to do. Before I had ever even had sex, I had wanted to go on the Pill, but my father forbade me.

  Anxiously, I watched my father’s face. I could tell he was deep in thought. I gazed out the window watching the snow fall over the ground covering it in a thick blanket of white.

  “Daddy?” I whispered.

  He waved his hand.

  “We can’t do that, Veronica. Despite my desire to keep this quiet, I can’t allow you to end this pregnancy. As you know, I was brought up a devout Catholic. Even the suggestion of such a thing is sinful. I will make some calls. There’s a Catholic boarding school in England that deals with problem girls like you. My sister, Shannon, volunteered there for a few years. I will send you there. You may have the baby and then they will find a good home for it. You can return next fall and no one will be the wiser.”

  I sat on my hands rocking back and forth. I had a miserable, aching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want to leave my home, my friends.

  “Daddy…I want to stay here,” I whispered. The huge portrait of my mother hanging on the wall behind him caught my eye. She had been so beautiful and so young when she died. I didn’t want to leave the place where we’d all lived together.

  “Veronica, there’s no other way I can fix this. You’re the one who spread her legs and got pregnant. If you hadn’t been seeing that filthy boy from the Bronx none of this would’ve happened. If you had been ladylike and dated the nice, upstanding young men you said you were, this wouldn’t be happening!” He slammed his fists on his desk.

  “Upstanding young men? Really, Daddy? Do you know who these ‘upstanding young men’ really are? For one, Jonas Goodman likes to fuck girls in the ass. Michael Thomas has had threesomes with girls and guys. Harry Roberson wanted me to rim him before he fucked me doggy style in the back of his daddy’s Maserati. So there, Dad, these are the ‘upstanding’ young men of the Upper East Side!” I couldn’t believe I’d just said those words to him.

  His face turned even redder. He clutched his chest as he bent over trying to breathe. I jumped up prepared to call 911.

  He struggled to find his words.

  “Veronica Lynn James, how dare you speak such language in this house! You’re seventeen years old not a forty year old hooker. Obviously, I haven’t been strict enough with you. Your mother and I tried to raise you to be a proper young woman. You talk worse than a drunken sailor. I cannot believe what you’ve just told me. You will NOT be dating anyone until you leave this house when you are eighteen. You are going away to the school in England. It’s run by very strict nuns which is exactly what you need. Never in my life have I heard such filth uttered by a young woman!”

  My shoulders sagged in defeat. I knew there was no changing his mind.

  Six months ago

  A familiar vibrating noise startled me. I glanced down at my phone.

  Ash!

  Trembling, I picked up the phone.

  “Ronnie? What the fuck is this business with Vitalife?” The anger in his voice caused me to fall back on the bed.

  “Ash? What are you talking about?” I feigned ignorance. I knew he’d be upset, but not this upset.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Ronnie! You’re the one who bought those shares from Martin Stahli. I traced it back to you and your father. How could you? You knew how much this would mean to me!”

  “Ash, this isn’t personal. Business is business. Vitalife is a great investment. That’s all.”

  His stony silence reverberated through me.

  “Ash?”

  He sighed.

  “Is this about us? Are you doing this to get back at me?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Then what is it, Ronnie? You and your father don’t have the slightest interest in keeping Vitalife alive. You just want to sell it off piece by piece.”

  I was at a loss for words. He was right. If we kept those shares, that’s exactly what my father would do.

  “Look, Ash, I told you this was business.”

  “No, Ronnie, it’s not! I want you to sell those shares to me. I will make it worth your while, I promise you that. You know why I want Vitalife! That drug will help so many people. Don’t let your petty feelings get in the way of that.”

  Holding the phone to my ear, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face was streaked with muddy streams from my mascara. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.

  “Ash, I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

  There was silence then a click.

  Throwing my phone down, I laid back in the bed clutching the sheet to my chest.

  Oh my God, Ash. I’m so sorry. Staring up at the ceiling, I thought about the first time I’d met Ash. It was the first day of my first class in graduate school at Harvard.

  Fall 2004

  Feeling eyes upon me, I glanced up to see the most intense hazel eyes staring at me. To say he was handsome would be an understatement. He was tall, with a lean, but muscular frame. His dark brown hair was styled to perfection. He was wearing khaki pants and a blue button down shirt emblazoned with a designer label. His lips were sensual and full curling into a broad smile as I caught his eye.

  “Is this seat taken?” His voice sent shivers down my spine. In an act of uncharacteristic shyness, I blushed slightly.

  “No.”

  He sat down his eyes fixating on my sizable breasts in my tight pink sweater.

  “I’m Ash. What’s yours, beautiful?”

  I rolled my eyes inwardly. I’d heard that same line a million times. I had expected better from him.

  “I’m Veronica. Ash—that’s an interesting name.”

  “It was my father’s name as well. Actually, his name is Ashler. I’m Ashton.”

  “Ashler Blackthorne?”

  He nodded, his gaze still lingering on my breasts.

  “
He’s in the real estate business, right?”

  “That’s right,” he replied, still smiling.

  “He sold my father his office.”

  “Who’s your father?”

  “Ronald James.”

  He nodded.

  “I’ve met him briefly. I interned with my father this past summer. I’m surprised we’ve never met.”

  I shrugged clicking my long nails on the desk.

  “Small world. Well, Veronica, I’m very pleased to meet you. This must be your first year here as well.”

  “In graduate school. I got my undergraduate degree here as well.”

  “Nice. You must be quite intelligent.”

  “I do just fine, Ashton.”

  He leaned back spreading his arm over the back of the chair.

  “I’m sure you do, Miss James. You can call me Ash.”

  “Really? Who says I want to call you?”

  He laughed, his eyes twinkling. God, he was hot. I could envision his hands running over my body pulling me to him. His lips pressed against mine. As his gaze traveled my body, I ran the tip of my tongue over my lips. I could only imagine how it would feel to have him slip his hands into my bra tugging my nipples until they tingled.

  “Oh, Miss James, I must say I’ve never seen anyone fall so hard so fast.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “What? What the hell are you talking about?”

  He smirked.

  “You. You’ve totally fallen for me.”

  I nearly fell out of my chair. At first, I was offended. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Then a terrifying thought.

  Was I that transparent?

  With no other way to save face, I began to gather up my books.

  “You may have this seat, Ash. I believe I will move over there. I have never heard a man with such nerve before.”

  As he grabbed my wrist, I felt the warmth of his hand on my flesh. Electricity cackled between us like a live wire.