Darkest Sin

by Ashton Blackthorne

  Amber nodded.

  “So, I want you to know right now that I don’t blame you for anything. You’re the most important person in the world to me. I want you with me always.” I kissed her lightly on the lips.

  “Ash, I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words. Don’t you know I fell for you the moment we met?”

  Laughing, I recalled that day. “I did, actually. I pretended not to. And you know something, Amber?”

  “What?”

  “I think I fell for you, too. Even though I was trying to work things out with Veronica, there was something there between you and me.”

  “I used to think you just wanted to fuck me.”

  “Oh, I did and still do. But Amber, when we fuck, it’s more than just that. I feel you as a part of me. The part of me that’s always been missing. You make me whole.”

  Amber smiled widely. The light from the fire cast a warm glow to her face making her look like an angel. “I feel the same way, Ash.” She traced her fingertip against my cheek.

  Pulling her closer to me, we watched the storm rage outside.

  “I’m sorry about earlier. Give me that therapist’s name. If you think I really need to go, I’ll give it a try.”

  Fifty Seven

  Amber

  Falling into the big fluffy chair in the therapist’s office, I felt its arms embrace me. The room was cozy and quiet. Even though I’d never been here before, I felt welcomed. The walls were painted a soft blue and the images on the wall were that of beautiful ocean scenes. It was all very calming and conducive to relaxation. If that was the effect she was going for, she’d certainly achieved it.

  The therapist walked in and shut the door quietly. She was a slight woman with short brown hair cropped close to her skull. With that hair and her tight body, she reminded me a bit of Sharon Stone.

  “So, Amber, what brings you here today?” She slipped a pair of black rimmed glasses on her face while picking up a notepad.

  I sighed biting my lip. I shouldn’t be here, I thought.

  “Forgive me, Amber. I should’ve introduced myself first. I’m Melissa Graves. I just realized we hadn’t officially met yet.” She extended her hand to me.

  Her grip was relaxed and made me feel more at ease. Looking around the comfortable room, I allowed myself to sink further into the chair. “Good to meet you, Miss Graves.”

  “No, no. Please call me Melissa. After all, we will be spending quite a lot of time together, so we need to be on a first name basis.”

  Her voice sounded smooth like a radio announcer’s, but I detected a slight British accent as well. “Are you from the United States?” I ventured picking at the lint on my skirt.

  She shook her head laughing. “So, you picked up on that? A lot of people don’t. I was born in the Cotswolds and raised near London. I’ve been here for about twenty years though.”

  “Do you ever go back?”

  Melissa nodded. “Often. Most of my family is still there, so all of my holidays are spent with them. But I love New York and I’ll never live anywhere else. What can I say? It’s my home now.”

  I smiled as she clicked her pen and turned her focus back to me.

  “So, Amber, I see here on the questionnaire that you’ve been having some problems focusing. Is that correct?”

  I nodded biting my lip again. God, I shouldn’t have let Ash talk me into this. Some secrets are best left in the dark.

  “So, when did this start? Is this something that’s been going on for some time now?” She began jotting notes down.

  I rubbed my eyes. The clock on the wall ticked loudly. “About the past six months or so, I guess.”

  “And how does it affect your life? Your work?”

  “I find it hard to concentrate. I keep forgetting my boss’s, I mean my partner’s appointments. I missed a critical meeting last week. I just simply forgot to write it down. I’ve never done that not in the ten years I’ve been working.”

  She nodded scribbling notes.

  “Amber, I could sit here and ask you dozens of questions about your symptoms. But I’m not going to do that.”

  Melissa tossed the notepad down on the end table.

  She leaned back and crossed her legs.

  “I want you to tell me what you want me to know. This is a safe place, Amber. Everything you say is private. No one will know unless you want them to. I’ve got the feeling that there’s a lot more going on than you not being able to concentrate.”

  My stomach churned as I contemplated opening up. There was something terrible below the surface. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look and see what it was.

  I sighed heavily. “Melissa, to tell you the truth, I don’t know why I’m here. My fiancé who is also my boss told me to come here. He said there’s ‘something not right’ about me. He’s known me a long time so if he thinks there’s something not right there probably is.”

  “You sound like you’re not sure if you agree.”

  “I know there’s something not right, but I just don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m afraid to find out.”

  Melissa leaned forward and looked directly at me. “Amber, what I’m about to say may shock you. I’ve been in the field for nearly thirty years and I’ve seen and heard horror stories I’d rather not recall, but one thing I do know is an abused woman when I see one. And you, my dear, are an abuse survivor.”

  My mouth fell open. I felt sick. Was it that obvious?

  Melissa smiled. “No, Amber, that’s not something just anyone can see looking at you. I can because I’ve seen enough abuse survivors to know. And I use the word survivor, but you are NOT a victim. You are a survivor because no matter what happened you’re still here. You’re still alive. Whoever hurt you, can’t take that from you.”

  I nodded looking down at my feet.

  “But you’re a strong woman, Amber. I noticed that as soon as you walked in. I said to myself ‘that girl is a survivor. She’s tough.’

  Tears were coursing down my cheeks. I fell forward to hold my face in my hands. “Something did happen to me, Melissa. When I was 18, I was sexually assaulted by a neighbor, a family friend.”

  Melissa nodded and handed me a tissue.

  “But that wasn’t the worst part of it. The worst part—” I choked up.

  “Go on.” She prodded.

  “The worst part was that my brother paid him to do it. He paid the guy to lure me to his house so that he and his buddies could assault me.”

  Melissa’s eyes widened.

  “Fortunately, that didn’t happen. The guy screwed up and I escaped. I only recently found that out about my brother.”

  “I see. That must have been quite traumatic for you, Amber.”

  “Yes, it was. It was a shock. I couldn’t believe my own brother would do that.”

  “So, what else is going on, Amber? Are you still dealing with feelings stemming from your assault?”

  I shook my head. “No. The assault happened a long time ago. Finding out about my brother’s betrayal was devastating, but there’s something more.” I gulped. I wasn’t sure I wanted to delve any further.

  Melissa stopped to take a sip of water. She gestured to a tiny refrigerator in the corner of the room. “Would you care for some water, Amber?”

  I nodded as she walked over to hand me one.

  I took a sip and wiped my hands over my face. I could feel something bubbling up inside me and it wasn’t a good feeling. “An ex of mine came back several months ago. We’d had an abusive relationship years ago.”

  Melissa narrowed her eyes and nodded.

  “He…um….he started stalking me again.”

  “Really? Why did he stop originally?”

  “Because he assaulted me and was sent to prison.” I gripped the edges of chair firmly.

  “I see. Was he seeking revenge for that?”

  I shook my head. God, this was going to sound unreal.

  “No, not exactly. At first, I wasn’t sure what he wanted. I t
hought he wanted us to get back together. He ended up fighting my now fiancé. Then he kidnapped me.” I looked down biting my lip. I was afraid to hear her reaction.

  “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “You’re that Amber.”

  I nodded looking up.

  “I’m so sorry. I saw your story all over the news! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. Forgive me.” She looked embarrassed.

  “It’s fine. So, you obviously know the story. Anyway, as it turns out, my ex, Ayden is my now boyfriend’s brother.”

  Melissa’s eyes widened. She sat back appearing stunned. “Wow, Amber. I’d heard rumors about that. I didn’t think it could be true though. So Ayden Donovan is Ashton Blackthorne’s brother? And that makes you Ashton Blackthorne’s girlfriend?”

  I nodded. Now I was the one feeling embarrassed. “Yes, I am.”

  Melissa took another sip of water. “Forgive me. This is so unprofessional of me. I’ve had some well-known clients before, but your story is by far the most dramatic. No wonder you can’t concentrate, Amber. You’ve been through hell.”’

  “Yes, I have.” I startled myself with the firmness in my own voice.

  “Then I was right. You are a survivor. So, is this what’s troubling you?”

  I sighed deeply feeling the walls start to close in on me. “No. I’ve moved past all that. Ayden is trying to forge some type of relationship with Ash. I’ve told them that can’t include me because of what he did to me, but I’m not standing in their way. No, what’s bothering me is something that happened to me.”

  Melissa nodded. Kindness emanated from her.

  “Something a long time ago,” A tiny voice I didn’t recognize erupted from my lips.

  Melissa leaned forward furrowing her brow. “Who am I talking to?”

  I heard her words echo throughout the room. They seemed to be coming from somewhere else. All of a sudden I opened my mouth to speak, but the voice I heard wasn’t my own, “Ambercakes,” the tiny little girl voice answered. Who said that? Was it me? I felt a sick, twisting feeling in my stomach.

  “Who is Ambercakes?” Melissa asked slipping her glasses off and placing them on the table.

  “Me.” I giggled.

  “Ambercakes, is that a nickname?”

  I nodded twirling a lock of my hair around my finger.

  “Who calls you that? Your mommy and daddy?”

  I shook my head. “My brother.” That voice! It was coming from me, but it wasn’t me. Something awful was about to happen I just knew it.

  “How old are you, Ambercakes?”

  I giggled again. This was so ridiculous surely she knew. “Seven.” As soon as I uttered the number, I fell back in the chair. The room spun around and all I could see when I closed my eyes was my brother’s face looming over me his lips curled in a sneer commanding me never to tell.

  Oh, my God.

  What had he done?

  Arriving home, Ash was waiting for me. He held his arms out to me and I fell into them.

  “Are you okay, Amber? How did it go?”

  I nodded slowly. “It was intense, but Melissa said she thinks I will do well.”

  Ash stroked my long hair planting a kiss atop my head. “Amber, have I told you just how much you mean to me?”

  I leaned against him feeling his heart beat. “You said you loved me if that’s what you mean.”

  He pulled back from me to gaze at my face. “No, I mean how much I love and adore you. I love everything about you. From the way you laugh, to the way you crinkle your nose up when you taste something too spicy, to the beautiful glow you have after you come. Everything about you melts me.”

  I felt like melting myself when he said that.

  “Oh, Ash, I feel the same way.” I snuggled closer to him.

  “That’s good to hear. I’ve got a surprise for you, baby if you’re up for it.” He winked at me.

  “Of course, I am.” Smiling, I followed him to the dungeon.

  As he stared at me in that wanton, lustful way, I felt myself instantly get wet. Just one look from him could make me melt. I bit my lip as I stood still wondering just what he planned to do with me.

  “Come here, Amber,” he commanded in his deep, husky voice. The sound reverberated throughout the room.

  Without missing a beat, I walked right up to him.

  He turned to dim the lights even further so that the entire room was cast in a soft glow. The impressive St Andrews Cross loomed before me.

  “Ash,” I whispered.

  “What’s my name, baby? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

  “Sir,” I corrected myself. Sometimes I wasn’t sure when he’d slipped back into his dom role. Although being in the dungeon should’ve alerted me to that.

  “That’s better.” With deliberate slowness, he unbuttoned his white, French cuffed shirt taking care to remove the gold cufflinks engraved with his name, ‘Sir’ on it. A gift, he told me, from a special friend.

  As the shirt fell from his body, I shivered with anticipation. He’d been working out, his chest was even more chiseled. His biceps bulged impressively. I longed to run my hands through his chest hair and over his fine muscles. I was still fully dressed.

  Before I could inquire if I should remove my clothes, Ash pulled my hands above my head and pushed me against the cross. “Take off your dress.” He growled.

  Dropping my arms instantly, I slipped the dress off and tossed it over a chair. Now clad in my bra and panties, I waited like the good girl that I was.

  Ash stood there staring at my body. Then he knelt down before me. His hands roamed up my long legs, stopping at my ass. His fingers dug into my flesh gripping me tightly to him. He pressed his face between my legs. “You smell so good, Amber. So sweet.” With his finger, he pushed my panties to the side. His tongue darted out and flicked against my clit.

  I felt weak in the knees as his tongue continued to dance over my pussy ever so softly.

  He moaned as he felt how wet I was.

  I gripped the cross to hold myself up as he pushed my legs further apart.

  “I want to lick your pussy until you beg me to stop.”

  His words alone were nearly enough to send me over the edge. He kept his mouth against my cunt teasing me with his tongue and lips. His tongue swirled around my clit flicking it back and forth as it swelled ever larger. Finally, he took his thumbs and opened my pussy lips further so that he could taste the sweetness from my core.

  “Oh, my God,” I cried out as I fell against the cross. He kept a steady rhythm of lapping my clit harder and faster. My pussy had never been wetter. Looking down, I could see his face glazed with my juices.

  He shoved his middle finger directly inside me. Pumping it in and out, I felt my orgasm shatter me. I threw my head back so hard I nearly knocked myself out.

  “Oh Sir, oh my God,” I screamed as his finger pushed hard inside me. He kept thrusting his finger inside me as he licked my clit.

  Finally, I could take it no longer. It felt so good I couldn’t stand it. “Stop, please, Sir, stop.”

  He pulled away from me, grinning, his face coated in my juices. “I told you that I would lick you until you begged me to stop.” Pulling my panties off, he waited for me to step out of them. Then he stood up facing me. “That was just the warm up, baby.”

  Oh God, there was more? I felt shivers of excitement tingle throughout my body.

  Reaching around my body, he popped my bra open. Ripping it off me, he tossed it aside. Ash’s hands found my tits squeezing them feeling the weight of them in his hands.

  Moaning with pleasure, my fingers grabbed the waist of his pants. I could feel his hard cock pressing against the material.

  He turned his attention to my nipples tugging and twisting them so hard I cried out. Ignoring me, he continued to tug at them. I felt my pussy get wetter and wetter as I yanked his zipper down. His cock fell out into my hands as I stroked him. His cock throbbing and hot filled my hands.

  “That feels
good,” he whispered as pressed my tits together bringing his face to them. Sucking each nipple long and hard, I started to feel dizzy with pleasure. I ached to feel his hard cock inside me.

  Just like that, he pulled away from me.

  I watched in shock as he walked out of the dungeon leaving me alone.

  Where the hell did he go?

  Before I could say anything or move, Ash came strolling back into the room. He carried a wrapped package with him. “Baby, I’ve got a surprise for you. I know that beautiful women like you love presents, especially this kind.”

  Clapping my hands together, I wondered just what it could be. It looked too big to be a ring.

  Taking the box, I unwrapped it.

  A small velvet pouch fell out. I tugged open the pouch. A very strange silver object fell out. It was so oddly shaped and had a tiny pink diamond at the end.

  “Sir, is this a diamond?”

  “Of course.”

  “But why is it attached to this thing?” I held the cold, shiny object in my hand looking it over.

  “Baby, it’s a princess plug.”

  “A what?”

  He laughed. “I’ll show you. Now look at your other present.”

  I reached into the box to pull out another black velvet pouch. Reaching inside, I pulled out a silver collar.

  There was a silver tag hanging from it.

  Amber.

  Inside the collar, there were more words engraved.

  Forever owned and loved by Ashton.

  The collar itself was exquisite. There were tiny diamonds decorating it. As I turned it over in my hand, the jewels caught the light making them shine brightly. “It’s gorgeous, Sir. But what does it mean?”

  He smiled coming over to put the collar around my neck. “I thought you’d been in this type of relationship before, Amber.”

  I swallowed hard thinking of Ayden. But this wasn’t the same, was it? Ash wasn’t telling me to call him Daddy. “You mean with Ayden? That was—”

  “—Twisted I know. Never send a boy to do a man’s job.” He laughed.

  I chuckled getting the implication that Ayden being seven years younger than him was nothing but a boy to him. I fingered the tag on the collar.